Nikki Gillam Obituary
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Maya Hernandez
December 20, 2020
Hey, mom. I can never seem to find the right words to describe how much I miss you when I feel the anguish (over your passing) that I'm feeling right now. I think of you every day. I wish I remember how it sounded when you said "I love you" to me. I wish I remembered your wonderful laugh, I wish we could laugh right now because I know that it would make me feel so much better. I wish I could hold your face in my hands, smell your lovely hair, hold your beautiful hands for as long as I want. I think about all the funny things we could talk about, but usually, I find myself sitting in silence, alone, drowning in the abyss of grief that has grown exponentially over the years. I wish I had real memories of you, ones other than watching you being taken from me. I wish I remembered you when you weren't sick. I'm so sorry that that's all I remember. Day by day, I'm losing my edge. I've found that every day that I feel this longing inside of me that wants to be with you. I try to remind myself that you would want me to enjoy my life but.... I realize now as I type, the only thing in my life that I ever wanted was you. I hope that I can eventually make you proud. A lot of the time I feel so alone... so so alone. I just wish you were here. My life would have been so much different if you were. I wish we could have had memories together. I try not to think about what could have been because I get so sad because we'll never know.... how could a love like ours end like this? How could any of this be? Obviously, I am still working through my emotions... I'm sorry about that. I love you, mom. I wish I could hear you say it back. I know you're doing a lot of amazing work on the other side, keep it up Champ.
Joey S
June 9, 2019
Nikki, you are on my mind every year when I turn the calendar from May to June. I wonder what your kids are up to. I hope they will return to your Legacy page someday and tell us all about their wonderful adventures. Their mom is still a phenomenal woman in my memory. I miss you, Nikki
Curtis Gillam
April 24, 2014
Mom, we're working together to create a legacy for you, I Love you mom
Asia Gillam
August 31, 2013
Happy birthday mom I miss you so much
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Asia Gilla
August 16, 2012
Miss you so much mom. I think about you everyday and I hope I'm making you proud.
Tammy Corona
May 31, 2012
It's been five years today since you went to your new home. I can still hear you speak, laugh and sing. Life goes on, however; your memory will remain. Love and miss you with all of my heart- Tammy
Her son Gillam
March 16, 2012
I love you with all my heart and soul mother
Angela Wyche
May 7, 2009
Hey Nic Nac,
Its been a while, so many things have happend / changed. I am sure you knoew bout them before we did. I wish you could have stayed to see my beautiful daughter it took 18 years for me to have :>) I named her Sydney Rain ( Rain in honor of you )Maya is a wonderful big sister....nobody messes with her baby! Mama said you were like that with me when they brought me home. We also just got a puppy! I guess you saw Paw Paw left us the the Saturday before Easter...that one was very hard too. Well, I was just missing you, always thinking of you so thought I would stop in. I better get Maya ready for school. Maya is doing well in school....she is looking forward to their kindergarden carnival coming up!
Love you Sis,
Angela
Joey
March 11, 2008
I've been thinking about you a lot this week, Nikki. I got a flyer for Magnolia's Memories in the mail, and can't help but remember your outstanding performance last spring. You sang like an angel that night, and I know you're a soloist in the heavenly choir! Love you and miss you, my dear friend.
Angela
October 26, 2007
Hey Sis,
It's been a while. You would have turned 35 in August and I just turned 32...wow. I miss you SO much. Little Miss Maya is doing great! She almost has her cart wheel down at gymnastics! We went to a pep ralley tonight getting ready for home coming tomorrow! We play Asia's school so it will be a extra special game! Can't wait to hear Asia and the band on the field, but you know we have to beat them ha ha!! I know your watchig down on us, I feel it often. It's crazy b/c I never believed in any of that, but I do now. Will write soon.
I love and miss you Nikki.
Angela
Asia Gillam
August 6, 2007
Hey Mom,
This is Asia again... Well this is going o be the first school year I'm goin to have to start without you and it's really hard to know that.. Im living with Ms. Lenore right now and I just want you to know I'm going to cothinure on doing all the things I know that would make you proud. Mom you were a legend and an inspiration... I love you.
Angela Wyche
July 1, 2007
Me again Nikki. I have just missed you even more the past few days
(I miss you everyday though.) Maybe it's because Maya and I have been picking out her 4th birthday party decorations. The girl has good taste! I think about it being her first birthday without you, I just hate that. Maya is having a pool party (she has a special swim suit that keeps her a float.) Anyway, she has been saying for the past month she wants a pink and purple butterfly cake. Today I showed her so many cakes and she still wants the butterfly cake. I know you will be watching her from above. Maya is in a play group now and has made fast frinds with a lot kids. Especially one little girl, they hold hands and run everywhere together, it's so cute! They are just a couple of weeks a part and we are thinking of doing just a play group party for the two of them. I never knew a play group had such a busy schedule. We have some sort of activiry almost everyday, but it's fun and good for Maya. Maya has been talking more and more about you everyday and I am so happy about that. By the way, your still baking cupcakes for the Jesus.....lol I will let you know when she gives you another job :>) Curtis has a job! I am so proud of him. I was talking to big Curtis about how we have all our boy's working....seems like yesterday they were infants! I went back to work and was playing with Maya saying well, everybody in the house has a job except you. Maya says " I have a job, it's shopping! " Shane laughed and told her she is very good at it. I think Asia will be starting with band soon, I will have to call her tomorrow. Well, I wasen't going to continue to write here but, one of your friends from LSU emailed and asked if I would continue writing and encourage the children
to keep writng. I miss you very much. I miss all the deep conversations we had about life, etc... I love you so much and you would be happy to know even though your not here physcially I am still learning from you and putting some of my goals we talked about at our slumber party into action.
Until next time,
Angela~
Joelle Helsper
June 28, 2007
Sweetest Nikki,
I never met you in real life but you were a great support to me (on the interweb). I'm not sure how we found each other but I'm glad that we did. You were there with a strong shoulder and a soft heart and I hope, in some small way, that I was able to do the same for you, too.
I hope that you are finding peace where ever you are. I hope that you realized that there were (and are) people rooting for you and praying for you.
Best of all to you and your beautiful children.
Take care, my friend.
Joey
Cora
June 27, 2007
Nik,
The world has lost a vibrant spirit, an intelligent woman, a talent, a loving mother, and the world is all the smaller for the loss. I will think fondly of our conversations of live and love, in whatever language. Asia said it best, it is not goodbye, we will all see you later. Look kindly on us from Heaven.
Ed Tyler
June 27, 2007
Dear Nikki,
Thank you for the evenings we spent making music, too few though they were. I can still hear your voice.
Joey
June 27, 2007
Dearest Nikki,
I will never forget your performance at Magnolia's Memories! I was so moved by your confidence and talent... it brings me close to tears to think about how your voice carried over the wind and the traffic that night, and how beautiful you looked in your Irish cloak. I was equally moved by your courage in the hospital. You are an inspiration, Nikki, and we all miss you very much!
Ja'Larrya S
June 21, 2007
Asia I am sorry to here about your mother's passing. Just know that she is in a better place with no more sufffering. I send my condolences to You, Curtis and your family.
Angela Wyche
June 18, 2007
Hey Nikki.....yes, I know I can't keep talking to you here ( smile ) I just had to stop back by after I put little miss Maya to bed to say how VERY proud I am of Asia,Curtis, and Maya. Through their grief Curtis and Asia showed such strength and class when they spoke at your memorial about their memories made with you, lessons learned from you that they will keep in their hearts, and how proud they are of your acomplishments. You and Curtis have raised very grounded children. Maya stepped up to the microphone and entertained us with a short story :>) You touched so many people in so many different ways. I miss you so much. It just dosen't seem real that your not at your home in your bed tonight. I know we will all be together again one day. Curtis is here tonight playing video games with his cousins. I hugged him extra hard tonight. Curtis has already called dibbs on Uncle Shane's chess set tomorrow :>) I love you very much Sis.
Until we meet again,
Angela~
ASIA GILLAM
June 17, 2007
HEY MOM,
ITS SO HARD TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE GONE AND WORDS CAN'T EXPRESS HOW MUCH I MISS YOU AND THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME. YOU WERE THE BEST MOM EVER AND IM BLESSED THAT GOD GAVE ME AN OPURTUNITY TO HAVE A MOM AS GOOD AS YOU. YESTERDAY, WHEN I WAS AT THE MEMORIAL, I REALIZED WHAT A BIG IMPRESSION THAT YOU MADE ON NOT ONLY ME, BUT OTHER FRIENDS AND EMPLOYEES, AND IT MADE ME PROUD. I'LL NEVER FORGET THE TIMES BEFORE OUR BEDTIME, YOU WOULD READ US STORIES OR WHEN WE WOULD ALL GATHER AROUND AND WATCH MOVIES (WHICH WAS YOUR FAVORITE), AND EVEN SING TO US. YOU HAVE DONE SO MUCH, MOM AND I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.
"IT'S NEVER GOODBYE; IT'S SEE YOU LATER"
LOVE ALWAYS,
ASIA SKY GILLAM
Dr. Janet C. Herrmann
June 17, 2007
We are so sorry!!! We never met, but just the same, it is so sad. Our condolences.
Dr. Siegfred, und Dr. Janet Herrmm
Dr. Ingrid Herrmann
Maya
June 15, 2007
Nic Nac Maya wanted to type you a letter so I will turn the keybord over to her. Oh, she has started gymnastics and wanted you to know. She is doing great! Ok, Here is Maya:
ddd tyuio j m vcx
bye 4 now mommie
maya
Angela Wyche
June 15, 2007
Sis it seems strange to have a
" get together " tomorrow without you playing the guitar and singing. I know as we gather in your honor tomorrow you will be singing from Heaven. I am not sure what kind of music GOD allows up there, so you better look into that :>) Your beautiful babies are being taken care of to your standerds. I brought Asia today to pick out her clothes for tomorrow. Asia looks like an Angel and sounds like one when she sings. Curtis has been playing a lot of chess with big Curtis, I am not sure if he has won yet! Maya is doing wonderful. She has been listening to your CD and says your in Heaven baking cupcakes. She just woke up from a nap and said that was what you were doing so every night we ask GOD to help you bake the cupcakes. ALL of your children miss you, but will never forget you. You touched more lives than you could imagine in your short 34 years on earth. I will always remember the things you taught me through childhood. You were so protective and took care of me and it is my honor to take care of anything you didn't get to finish up before you left. You have the most amazing friends I have recently met who care for you so much. Well, I could go on forever....I just wish I could pick the phone up and call you. I know for a fact that you are in heaven and that is the peace I have. I love you Nikki and will teach generations to come about you.
Love Always,
Your Sister Angela~
June 15, 2007
our thoughts & prayers are with you. FROM THE FAMILY OF RICHARD & JUDY VARNADO.
Peggy Varnado Fairburn
June 15, 2007
May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.
Peggy Varnado Fairburn and Family
Sandra Varnado Smith
June 15, 2007
May the love of friends and family carry you through your grief.
Sandra Varnado Smith and Family
Joann Varnado Miley
June 15, 2007
Sending our condolences to your family.
Joann Varnado Miley
Mike Miley
Ronnie Miley
Blake Miley
and Families
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