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Carl Boe Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for Carl Boe
Mark Boe
July 27, 2011
Eulogy at Dad's memorial service
A few years ago I took a time management class – one of the exercises was to identify and prioritize our values. To do this, we were supposed to imagine we were 80 years old and wondering what we would like someone to say about us at a memorial service.
Great exercise – you start with a list, then prioritize the list, and set up goals and tasks based on that list. I mentioned it to Carl Boe, and he couldn’t think of a bigger waste of time – that’s because he KNEW what he valued. Family and Friends; Honesty; Learning; Hard Work; Giving Back.
He didn’t need some exercise to tell him what he stood for. We got him to write his memoirs a couple years ago (well, okay, he decided to write his memoirs – we encouraged him, but he really committed to it). In it he credits his time in the Marines with his ability to learn – I tend to think that’s where he got a lot of his character and values, also. Reading the remembrances on his online obit, I was struck by the consistency of the comments of his students from the one in 1960 to a few in the 80s. One of them hit me hard: Mr. Boe had quite an effect on the incoming freshmen boys at Winlock High School. He was a tough-guy football and basketball coach, and made sure we drilled the correct number of holes in the paddles we had to make in wood shop class. And after graduation and into adulthood, we all lined up at the Egg Day parade to shake his hand, knowing without saying, that he helped shape us into men.
Howie McNelly, Seattle, Class of 1966
Something that has always amazed me about our Dad growing up was the apparent contradiction between the different Carl Boes. Teacher/Coach/Parent Carl Boe (hard working, focused, patient, high standards, caring); Grumpy Carl Boe the demanding, uncompromising disciplinarian with super-high standards; Charming Carl Boe (loyal, witty, charismatic – a great friend); and Caring Carl Boe (caregiver, dedicated to others, giver of time and money). The more I tried to write about these different Carl Boe’s the more the adjectives got duplicated. They’re all him, all the time. He was hard working – ALL THE TIME; high standards – ALL THE TIME; demanding – ALL THE TIME; caring – ALL THE TIME (even if we didn’t always know it); Honest – ALL THE TIME; Okay, not patient all the time, and pretty stubborn (a self-proclaimed proud stubborn Norwegian). But it’s pretty apparent that he lived his values.
Family and Friends
• Nothing more important to Dad than family and friends. One of the things I admire and respect in him was the number of people that he influenced positively his entire life, and the number of real friends he had. He really cared about the people in his life, and dedicated a remarkable amount of effort to stay in touch, and to help where he could.
• Mom – he was a dedicated husband for more than 40 years – I can’t speak much to their relationship (the things I remember were their arguments about politics in the days when Dad was a way-conservative republican – I’m wondering what kind of kick Mom would have gotten out of his transformation to a peace-nik social democrat). His care of Mom through her ailments was above and beyond any expectations – he put himself on hold for years.
• Charlotte – Dad came to see me a year after Mom died and told me he was getting serious about someone, and wondering if I’d be upset if he were to consider getting married again. Amazing – he was worried about disappointing us after all he’d done for mom for the last bunch of years. I told him that ANYTHING that gave him happiness would be more than okay with me. What I loved about Dad’s relationship with Charlotte was that it really energized Dad. I know that Charlotte’s family became really special to Dad – and he especially liked getting out to events to see her grandchildren. Charlotte – I know I can say from all of us Boes’ that we thank you so much for making Dad’s life over the last 13 years a blessing – He loved you, and we all love you – you have to know that we’ll do anything we can to help you through this. Thanks to you we didn’t see nearly as much of Grumpy Carl Boe as we might have.
• Children and Grandchildren – if you don’t know that he loved you, you aren’t paying attention. I don’t think I heard him say “I love you” a dozen times in his life, and maybe all those were in the last few weeks. But for me there was never a question – as a quick aside, one thing that really hit me over the last month or two was the level of commitment by so many people, but most of all Dave, Karen, Lance, Brad, Dan and Dano, Matt and Nicole.
• He also had Step-Grandchildren and Chosen Grandchildren that he cared deeply about.
• Friends – I probably already said it, but he made friends. And not friends like Facebook friends – He is still friends with his High School classmates, goes to or arranges reunions, visits them when they’re sick. His college and time in the Marines – he considered any former Marine to be friendworthy – all it took was hanging out a Marine flag or having a bumper sticker or tee-shirt and you were likely to get approached by him. The remembrances from the paper – kids who graduated in 1960 and others who graduated in the 90s – the fact that they continued to seek him out at the Egg Day parade in Winlock to thank him for what he did for them. Amazing. And all through teaching, fellow teachers, principals, students, parents – and somehow he managed to care enough to maintain contact. I don’t know how he did it, and I’m envious of that skill.
Honesty
• Can’t say too much about this – he’s a straight-shooter.
• Lots of us have been on what seemed like the wrong side of his honesty; lots of times you either appreciate it or you don’t. You could pretty much count on him to tell you what he thought, even if you didn’t like it. His instructions to the pastor concerning this ceremony are straightforward and honest – sometimes with very little filter.
Learning
• His life-long learning really did start in the Marines. He felt he was a mediocre student at best until his time in Memphis at Aviation Structural Mechanic school. I may have my timing wrong, but I believe it was between his two tours in the Marines that he flunked out of Western – he got some level of thrill at later teaching some classes for Western, and was pretty sure there weren’t too many of their teachers that had been asked to leave and not return.
• He graduated from Eastern, but continued to learn until last week.
Hard Work
• Maybe this should be called “service” – he joined the Marines for what he now considers to be all the wrong reasons, he felt like he took advantage of the GI bill – no matter what, he certainly paid back way more than he took out.
• Can’t imagine trying to make six kids work on a teacher’s salary today. And I’d say it was no less challenging when he did it. He always had a second or third job. Lifeguard, driver’s ed, crew on a drill rig during the summer, referee’ing basketball, baseball, football, coaching. Later he took hiking classes and became hooked. He took and then taught woodcarving classes; summers in Bend, Oregon consulting on their safety program; other seminars on Occupational Versatility;
• He ALWAYS had a busy weekend – there was always something around the house that needed fixing, yardwork to do, oil to change, camping, hiking, – he came to visit my condo once, and was amazed at all the people in the local park – how could there be so many people with no yard work to do?
Giving Back:
• I’m a little embarrassed to say this is the part of him that I know the least. He was always a supporter of Fred Hutchison and Cancer research after Mom died, but I had no idea the extent of the organizations and people that he gave both his time and his money to. The number of trips he’s made to the Chehalis area to see and help people – this didn’t even slow down much as he did – Lance and David both drove him lots of times. He influenced people by caring for them – and dedicating himself.
Can’t possibly mention everything he’d like – he’s just too big.
A couple years ago I heard my brother Dan start saying “I AM Carl Boe” every time he saw something of dad in himself – usually he was referring to the grumpy Carl Boe – maybe correcting bad behavior, or letting someone know they weren’t meeting his expectations. Dave also keeps telling us he is Carl Boe – Carl D. Boe - but so far his siblings haven’t caught on. The truth is all his kids are Carl Boe – we’ve each got different pieces, but I wish I could be as sure of my values as he was. What I can be sure of is that the things I’ve done in my life can be credited to Carl Boe – both through wanting to emulate his values, and through a healthy fear of not meeting his high standards or disappointing him. I don’t think that will end with his passing, but I’ll miss him.
Evie (Wickert)Wheeler
June 16, 2011
Charlotte - David, Mark, Karen, Brad, Lance and Dan,
The Boe family moved in down the street when I was a kid. I was at that age where
helping with babies was fun, so I hung out a lot at the Boe house. When I was eleven Bud and Marilyn asked if I would like to babysit for them. With my Mom down the street for back up I went to work for the Boe clan. For fifty cents an hour I learned childcare and house keeping hands on. I loved every minute of it. Thanks to the trust Bud and Marilyn put in this neighbor girl I started sitting for other teachers. I don't think they had any idea of the impact that trust would have on my life.For the better part of my life I've been a professional sometimes other mother to a multitude of kids. In the last twenty plus years I worked for well over one hundred families. School teachers, a funeral director, DSHS workers, county employees, a doctor, several nurses, Hispanic families with very little English, and even a Narc -
just to mention a few, allowed me the honor of caring for their most precious
gems, their children. It all started with Bud and Marilyn trusting a neighbor girl to watch their kids. With out them I would not have has this wonderful life I've enjoyed, nor would I be the woman I am today. I am grateful every day for having the Boe family in my life. Some people just pass through your life with out much impact - the Boe family left deep enough impressions they are still shaping my life today. I was always treated like part of the family, including keeping me in line when needed - I will forever be grateful to
Bud and Marilyn. I love you guys!
Charlotte, I was thrilled to hear Bud had found some one so special to share his life with. You got a good man, and six pretty exceptional kids - he got a
second chance at love. Thank-you for that. I have always considered it a special thing to have people share their lives with me, and it all started with your family.
Eileen Hill
June 5, 2011
Charlotte, David, Mark, Karen, Brad, Lance and Dan: Oh, the memories I have of time spent with Bud! I can't possibly tell them all here.
Being the newest and youngest sister-in-law, he took me under his wing and taught me the ropes. The times he and Bert were going to go out for a "cold one" when we would get together in Grangeville, and he so graciously let me tag along when all the other women were at home with all the kids (of course, that was before I was a mother). Maybe that's why my favorite cold beverage is Bud Light. The time all 8 Boes came to visit Bert and I in Lincoln City (with us living in a 12 x 60 mobile home!) and he trying to teach me how to kayak on Devils Lake. Wow! All our visits in Boise after we moved back here. Visiting with he and Charlotte in Phoenix when Bert and I were able to go there to watch Chris play baseball at Scottsdale Community College. Charlotte, Bert and I appreciated so much you and Bud taking the time to go and watch Chris play even when we were not there, and treating the poor, starving, college student to a nice meal after the game.
I enjoyed being the "outlaw" in-law with Bud. I KNOW Bert is very happy to have Bud with him in Heaven. The services were wonderful - I know Bud would have been very humbled (but proud) of the turnout at the church. I really enjoyed seeing all of you again. Please keep in touch and take care. God bless all of you!
Diana (Dede) Nashif
June 5, 2011
Carl gave me and so many others his guidance and expertise from his years of military, education and common sense values. I worked with Carl at the Bon (Macy's)in the 90's. He was always there to help you, scold you, help you again and finally have good laugh with. The floors were always so clean and shiny that you could eat off of them. Perfection was his mantra and it showed everyday. Then came the prankster side of him....boy did we have fun! Many good laughs again and again. Remember the Carl Boe VIP day!!!!!
We all miss you Carl, God Bless you, your military service and may everyone remember the lessons you taught us. I do!
Love you Carl,
Dede (Worthley) Nashif
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June 3, 2011
I didn't know Carl well, but I did know him a long time being a fellow carver and know that he was a fine man and always friendly. Condolences to the family from Al & I and also from all of the Northwest Carvers Association. Carl will be sorely missed.
Betty Miller, editor for Northwest Chippings.
June 3, 2011
Uncle Bud was proof that once a Marine always a Marine. As a nephew of Uncle Bud's, I always looked up to him and enjoyed being around him. He had a great affection for children, family, those around him, and life. My brothers and I will never forget the hiking trip along the Washington Coast, holidays spent together in Grangeville, and searching for garnetts along the Salmon River in Riggins, Idaho. Thanks Uncle Bud for the many great lasting memories. Prayers and well wishes to Charlotte and the cousins. Brent Smith
June 2, 2011
I remember so well when we got the announcement and picture of Carl and Charlotte after their wedding. I was looking at my cousin Charlotte and admiring how nice she looked and Gordy looked at Carl and recognized him from the Woodcarver's. What a nice surprise. We couldn't wait to see them together. What a great guy he was.
Gordy and Bev Anderson
Jennie Roberts
June 2, 2011
To Carl's Family,
My mother was Betty Davidson Dobler, Chehalis High class of 46. Carl was always so good in keeping in contact with mom with any school news, reunions etc. I am sure he will be missed by many many people. Thanks Carl for staying in touch with our mother.
The Dobler Kids, Jennie, Sandy & Ken
Dave Ternan
June 2, 2011
Mr. Boe was my freshman football coach and basketball coach when I attended Winlock Schools in the late 1960's. He was the splitting imagine of a "poster" marine. He taught and coached the same way......his way. He had a huge influence what I would become in later life as an educator and as a coach. He had a tough image, but underneath that was a warm and caring man. After he left Winlock, I would still run into him at other sporting events, usually at the State basketball tournaments. He always had the big smile on his face and the strong handshake. When I was coaching, he knew how my teams did and that impressed me knowing he followed his former students. He was a fine man.....and he will be missed by all who knew him. Rest in Peace, Mr. Boe.
Gene Wilber
June 2, 2011
I remember Coach Boe as a strict no nonsence teacher and coach who had a great heart for the kids.he was one of my football and basketball coaches in highschool. amazing how in hindsight a person can appreciate another yrs later. my senior yr 1966 as my basketball coach he told me Id be alot better ball player if I would spend more time holding hands with a basketball than with my girlfriend. How right he was.Coach Boe will be missed all. My thoughts and prayers go to the family at your loss
June 2, 2011
I have to echo some of the thoughts of my schoolmates about coach Boe.he definitely a drill sargeant when it came to coaching or teaching but you knew down deep he had this real heart for kids. I played basketball and football for coach Boe. he was a no nonsence type of coach. My senior year in highschool 1966 he thought my girlfriend was taking up more of my time than my interest in basketball and told me in no uncertain terms that I should spend more time holding hands with a basketball than with her. he got my attn and he was right. coach Boe will be missed. my thoughts and prayers to the Boe family on your loss. Gene Wilber, Winlock, Wa
Dennis Hollinger
June 1, 2011
I spent my last two years at Winlock High School and was fortunate to have had a drafting class under Mr. Boe. He was inspiration and a teacher to look up to and to the point that helped inspire me to become a Marine. God bless his family at this time.
Class of "62"
Donna Cook-McNew
June 1, 2011
Dave, Mark, Karen, Brad, Lance and Danny, Growing up with you in Winlock were good times. Remembering your Dad one of the first time we went water skiing. Your Dad lived life to the fullest. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Charlotte, you had a wonderful man, are thoughts are with you too.
Archie Curtis
June 1, 2011
Oh how I remember the first time I saw Carl Boe, he was the spitting image of a Marine. His hair was high and tight and he strutted. He was one of the reasons that I joined the Marines. He was my freshman football coach I never had him for shop but my brother did. He was exacting in all he did. Later in life I would see him on occasion at Winlock Egg Days or a few times just by chance. He was a good man. Though he has passed he is now a Marine in Heaven.
Class 62'
Winlock High School
June 1, 2011
Mr. Boe had quite an effect on the incoming freshmen boys at Winlock High School. He was a tough-guy football and basketball coach, and made sure we drilled the correct number of holes in the paddles we had to make in wood shop class. And after graduation and into adulthood, we all lined up at the Egg Day parade to shake his hand, knowing without saying, that he helped shape us into men.
Howie McNelly, Seattle, Class of 1966
June 1, 2011
My condolences to the Carl Boe family on his passing. I attended school in Winlock and Carl was my freshman football coach and high school basketball coach, besides my junior high wood shop teacher. He was always a no nonsense kind of guy, yet he had a wry sense of humor. I do so remember David and Mark hanging around the locker room when they were young kids. I truly felt special in wood shop class because I was the absolute worst in class making something out of wood, yet when it came time for grading of projects, Carl would always lay them out on the tables into different piles for A, B, C, D, ETC. He would pretend as if they were anonymous (although after 3 or 4 weeks he had to know who made each one). Somehow my project always managed to end up on a table which was about two grades higher than what I deserved. Thank you, Carl. I am sure the family must miss him dearly. May he rest in peace. Mike Arth, Winlock High School class of 1967
June 1, 2011
To Carl's family - We are saddened at the passing of such a great man. Carl was such an icon for the Chehalis High School - Class of 1946. We always enjoyed the reunions of that unique class. We will always cherish his last email to us, dated March 16th. Our hearts and prayers are with all of you. James & Flora Johnston, Medford, OR
Bob Smith
June 1, 2011
May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.
Benny Flores
June 1, 2011
I have enjoyed good times with Carl at the Federal Way Community Center. Various times he tells me that he sees my lip moving, but can't hear the words coming out of my mouth. I always forget that he has a problem with his hearing. I already missed him. He's in good hands with God. Our sympathy goes out to Charlotte and family.
Jay Myhre
June 1, 2011
Carl was my shop teacher at Winlock HS in 1960-61. It was his love of woodworking that inspired me to take it up as a hobby. He will be missed and we will think of him at our 50th HS graduation reunion this month.
Jim and Jo Sturm
May 31, 2011
We were so sorry to hear of Carl's passing. I remember back in Garfield when Bud (as we called him then) and Jim used to shoot cans with firecrackers across the street at each other on the 4th of July. So many wonderful memories. Sorry we can't be there for the memorial. Love you all.
Jim & Maralyn Anderson
May 30, 2011
David, Mark, Karen, Brad, Lance and Danny, -- we remember you all and we are so sorry to read of Bud's passing. Memories of some wonderful years of friendship when you all were very young and so were we and your parents --
Our sympathy goes out to Charlotte, too, Bud was a fine man and will certainly be missed.
David Haworth
May 29, 2011
Mr. Boe was a really strick teacher but a very good one. I had him at Chiinook jr. high as a shop teacher.I will alway remember him as a very good teacher and one you didn't give any guff to.
Raelene Colligan
May 29, 2011
Wow. Mr. Boe. Rest in peace. I had him as a shop teacher at Glendale. He was always making chains out of a wood block. Nice guy. Raelene Colligan (Lyons)
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