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THOMAS BAKER Obituary
THOMAS FRANCIS BAKER, JR.
Passed away on April 29, 2013 at the age of 65 with his devoted wife of 29 years by his side in Alexandria, VA. He died from complications of oral cancer after a valiant 5.5 year battle against this aggressive illness. He was born on October 11, 1947 in Philadelphia, PA to Thomas Francis Baker Sr. and Margaret H. Bachman. He dedicated 36 years of his career to public service as an attorney before retiring in 2009. He will be remembered as a dedicated father and husband. His death is deeply mourned by his wife, Beverly Baker; son, Thomas F. Baker III; and siblings, Margaret "Peggy" Baker Dahm and Louis Baker. A memorial service will be held on May 6, 2013 at St. Agnes Catholic Church in Arlington, VA at 10 a.m. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to The Oral Cancer Foundation, http://www.ocfstore.org/tom_baker_jr_ocf_fund_s/258.htm.
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Memories and Condolences
for THOMAS BAKER
Donna M. Butcher
April 28, 2019
I think of you often Charm and greatly lament your passing. Your practical wisdom will never be replaced. Till we meet again...
K Byers
February 15, 2014
I'm saddened to find that Tom 'Charm' has passed. I sent several messages to him, unanswered, where I searched him out to discover his passing. Tom and I tag teamed the Forums on Trip Advisor and I came to enjoy his enthusiasm for life, despite his circumstance. My condolences to his beloved Bev and son. His wisdom and knowledge of travel and special places where he so generously shared his experience on the various Forums on Trip Advisor will be so terribly missed!
Tracy Johnson (msmac)
May 11, 2013
Tom, Charm as I knew him on the OCF forums, was one of the people who helped me the most during my own struggle with oral cancer. His straightforward way of broaching the most difficult of subjects was so helpful to me, and I'm sure, many others. I am so very saddened that he is gone.
Sally (OFC Saxicola)
May 10, 2013
Bev, I am so sorry for the loss of Charm. I did not really correspond with him myself on OFC but I always looked for his posts. He came across as such a vibrant person with great character. He put such energy into helping us newer H&N cancer sufferers and he has been a fantastic inspiration as well source of knowledge. He will not be forgotten. I am glad that is now at peace from pain and I hope your memories will help you through your pain. My thoughts are with you.
Markus Germann
May 9, 2013
He touched all of us at OCF, he will not be forgotten!
May 7, 2013
Semper-Fi Bob Whyte
Susan Lauria
May 7, 2013
Dear Bev, I was so honored to meet you and Charm at the David Nasto Memorial walk last year, it was a highlight of the day for me. He was an amazing person and will be missed by so many. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son at this sad time. This will keep me fighting and spreading awareness for as long as I can. I hope we can meet again....Sincerely Susan Lauria
David Reskin (David2)
May 7, 2013
I only knew Tom as Charm on the OCF forums. He was one of the greats, the real thing whose no-nonsense guidance and sense of humor helped more of us than he probably knew. There's a huge void in our world now. And one not likely to be filled. Tom was a hero.
Gloria Fung
May 6, 2013
Dear Bev,
I'm so very sorry about your loss. Tom truly made a difference for so many of us from the OCF family. His wisdom, humor and, above all, his passion will be sorely missed.
Emma Bednar
May 6, 2013
I am very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Love, Emma Bednar.
Frank Inserra
May 6, 2013
Bev-
Please accept my deepest sympathies. Tom and I were friends and colleagues at Office of Chief Counsel, IRS. Tom was a fun guy a good lawyer. He always told it like it is (which I, for one, always appreciated). While I'm sure he will be deeply missed by those closest to him, Tom's reach was wide, and so he will be missed by many more. Again, my condolences.
Amber
May 6, 2013
Dear Bev & Family,
Charm was such a jewel. He touched so many lives and helped to many people. Please take some comfort in knowing that the world was made a better place because of him. His voice of reason was always a welcomed addition to our OCF community. He will be sorely missed.
Cheryl De Luca
May 6, 2013
Gone but never forgotten... Much love and prayers to those who loved him, may his memory stay strong and may his love shine down on you. Cheryld
Tammy von Keisenberg
May 6, 2013
Oh how I will miss Tom/Charm on the OCF. I always looked forward to his posts and indeed looked for them. Just what was his take on this ? I could always rely on him to debunk all the nonsense. His posts were accurate, acerbic, witty, encouraging and just plain "black and white". Such a role model and inspiration to us all. Dear Bev, Charm mentioned you a lot these last couple of months. I certainly felt that he wanted to protect you and keep any worries from you. He so appreciated your support and love.
Charm will be greatly missed, yet always remembered.
Bev, may you and young Tom find the strength to get through these next days, weeks and months.
Tammy. ( Tamvonk )
donfoo
May 6, 2013
Hello Charm,
I'm so saddened by your departure. I was so worried after the last major intubation incident at the hospital. Even though we only connected virtually, it feels like we over coffee on more than one occasion.
Your vim for life never quit. I remember so well that last post about being intubated by the whole ER wing. I knew given your condition it took so much to make that post but that is who you were, tough as nails .. and I loved every moment.
God will be kind to your tired body and your refresh spirit.
And deepest thoughts to your family; however, I know there is no way for them to be any less courageous and brave as you. Feel God's good that he removed Tom's beaten body and let his is spirit free. don
Deb Harris
May 5, 2013
I feel as though we have lost a big part of our OCF family. Thanks Tom for all your wonderful posts to our forums and your beautiful mind. I will miss you.
Annette Alix (Anne-Marie OCF)
May 5, 2013
To Bev and Family –
I am so sorry for the loss of your wonderful husband, Tom. I'm sure that he is right there with you in spirit comforting you and helping you through these sad days. We knew him as “Charm” in our Oral Cancer Foundation family and there was no other like him. He had a unique way of expressing his thoughts with kindness, compassion, humor and at times a very direct, and to the point style of “telling it like it is”. I so loved that about him. Over the years, I became more and more in awe of his intelligence, his completely altruistic nature and his love of life.
His love of you, Bev, and of his family came through loud and clear. Through him, we got to know you and to appreciate what a loving, giving and caring helpmate you were for him. At times when we worried how his cancer treatment was progressing, we knew you were watching out for him and it was comforting to know that you had each other to walk this difficult path together. My thoughts and prayers will be with you, your son and your family.
May 5, 2013
Dear Bev,
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard this is for you and your son.
I want to also thank you for sharing Tom (Charm) with us. He was a God send to so many of us. He helped me get through my husbands tx with so much compassion and kindness. I wish we had gotten to meet face to face. I have no doubt one day we will.
Blessings to you,
Kathy and Kevin Pruyne
Gabriele Roach
May 5, 2013
My sincere condolences go to Bev, Tom's family and friends.
Also to all those who got to meet him on the OCF walks and through the OCF forum as Charm2017.
His posts will live on for all of us around the world to inspire and inform new members in the future. RIP Tom.
Love from Gabe OCF
Jill Seaman
May 5, 2013
"Charm" always said it like it was and as a caregiver that is what we need to hear. I too lost my husband suddenly while he was fighting oral cancer. These men were so strong and brave and it is do unfair that we lost them too soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. (Kenswife on OCF)
Cathi Carpenter
May 5, 2013
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son. What a blessing he was to so many going through this journey. I will miss his wit and wisdom.
Emily Sopensky
May 5, 2013
Bev,
I am so sorry for your loss. He was one of kind. But we are richer for having known the warm, often flamboyant, incredibly bright, tremendously engaging, soul that he IS.
In sympathy, Emily Sopensky
May 4, 2013
Rest peacefully, dear friend. I'll see you on the other side. Dear, Bev...I've heard so many wonderful things about you. Please accept my deepest condolences to you and your family. You had something very special. May you find periods of peace and comfort in your grief.
Love in OCF,
Kerri
Anita McGinn-Natali
May 4, 2013
My heart breaks for you, Bev and for your son. What a wonderful man Charm was! I always looked forward to his posts on the OCF Forum and many times communicated with him by PM. He helped me through some difficult times. He told it like it was. I loved that about him. He never sugar-coated anything. He inspired me to think about things differently. I loved his humor and his sensitivity. I will miss him. Rest in Peace, Tom.
Ed Brown
May 4, 2013
You had such a gift of making each one of us feel so special. No matter how heavy the burden, you never stopped reaching out and helping all of us find peace and comfort for the moment. Through it all...you always let the love of Christ shine so brilliantly in all you do. My life is enriched from just knowing you; the world is better from having you in it. I pray for comfort for your beloved wife, Bev, your son, Tom, as well as your huge circle of family and friends. I rest assured knowing the words you heard as Jesus welcomed you, "Well down my good and faithful servant!".
Julia Bouvier
May 4, 2013
Bev and family: As a member of the OCF, Charm was an inspiration to us and we valued his experience, advice and kind words to us fighting oral cancer. He will be dearly missed by all. Prayers to you, his son, and family. Julieann OCF
Christine Brader (OCF)
May 4, 2013
Tom (Charm), I have known you for several years from the Oral Cancer Foundation's online forum. We became good friends and were able to get together at a couple of the OCF Oral Cancer Awareness Walks. Your dedication to helping fellow oral cancer survivors touched thousands of people's lives around the world. Your words will forever live on helping many others for years to come on the OCF forum. You will be greatly missed!
To my dear friend Bev, words seem inadequate to express how sorry I am for your loss. Tom was a wonderful person who adored you and he was so proud of his son. I hope you will find some comfort in knowing Tom is no longer in any pain. Let the memories of happier times help to ease your sorrow in this difficult time.
With love,
Donna Butcher (Pandora99 on OCF)
May 4, 2013
My condolences Tom's family and friends. His Oral Cancer Foundation Family will miss "Charm" (as he was known) more than words can say. He helped so many of us with his intelligent, rational and direct posts and opinions. His softer side was also frequently evident as he took many oral cancer patients under his wing and encouraged them to LIVE, regardless of their health circumstances. He led by example, and we are so grateful. May he rest in peace, free of the pain and limitations of this horrid disease. Charm - You will be sorely missed.
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