Add a Memory
Send Flowers
Make a Donation
H. Heller Obituary
Whenever H. Joseph Heller felt strongly that he should do something, he went out and did it. That's how he ended up owning a yellow turn-of- the-last-century farmhouse on a hilly acre in Ridgefield, Conn., a house that his wife, Mary Jean, calls "a major fixer-upper."
Mr. Heller, a commodities broker at Carr Futures, saw the potential in the house and set about restoring it himself. He installed new woodwork, nailed in the window trim, hung the doors, replaced the stair rails. Even when the outside needed a coat of paint, he climbed a ladder with a brush in his hand and did the job. He was self-taught, with only some Time-Life books and television to help him. And, of course, his wife. "We watched a lot of Bob Vila on TV," Mrs. Heller said.
The house became home for the Hellers and their four children, ages 8, 6, 4 and 16 months. The only part Mr. Heller, 37, did not build was the new wing put on a few years ago, which included enormous windows ‹ his idea ‹ that frame the view of trees and old stone walls. "So much of him is right here," Mrs. Heller said. "He fell in love with this house and convinced me. I never really fell in love with it until it started taking shape. He was the one who had the vision."
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Fellow Wildcat
September 11, 2021
Prayers of healing and peace for all who grieve from that tragic day.
Bob Saringer
September 10, 2021
Tomorrow marks 20 years with your loss. Just want to let you know that Joe is not forgotten in are hearts.
Tom Janesz
September 11, 2020
Joe and Family, May God bless you!
St Bernadette Class of 1978
St Ignatius Class of 1982
The Kindred Family
November 2, 2018
Thinking about your family and sending our thoughts of sympathy. Daily may God give the needed strength to cope. Joe is sadly missed and will not be forgotten.
How you can show support
Donate in Memory
Make a donation in memory of your loved one.
Add photos
Share their life with photo memories.
Plant trees
Honor them by planting trees in their memory.
Follow this page
Get email updates whenever changes are made.
Send flowers
Consider sending flowers.
Share this page
Invite other friends and family to visit the page.
Janet Buchwald
September 12, 2018
I still think about Joe to this very day. He was an exceptional young man. I knew him through his dad, Howard. Howard and I worked together at State Chemical. One summer, Joe and a friend of his came to our home and painted our house to earn extra money for college. We had the opportunity to have many conversations with each other. I knew he was going to go far in his life. And he did. When I heard he was one of the victims of 9/11, I was stunned. All I could think about was that summer. I thought about his his mom and dad, whom I knew would be devastated. I'm so sorry for your loss. But I'm happy he was able to live the full life that he did with his own family.
Kathy
September 11, 2018
Prayers to you all!!
Barbara Jones
November 14, 2017
Dear Heller Family-
I visited the 9-11 memorial in NYC. I stood in front of Joseph's name and felt compelled to look him up on the internet. Such a silly thing to do, but I was moved by his photograph to write you. I cannot even begin to imagine the sadness that you all endured that terrible day. Letting you know I was thinking of you and your family today. Sending you positive thoughts-
SDPD Patrick Heller
Patrick Heller
September 5, 2017
Sophie Heller
September 12, 2016
Dear Uncle Joe,
It's not like I ever met you, but I think about you a lot. I always wonder what it would have been like if I had met you. I know my dad misses you so much and sometimes he tells stories of when he was a kid. I prayed for you today in Religion class. Someday I will go to Cleveland. I will pray for you.
Love, Sophie
Shaun OLeary
September 11, 2016
Heller....15 years and your Cavs won but I'm sorry to say the Tribe and Browns will take a while longer. The kids are beautiful, what a legacy....the Heller/OShea smile lives on in them. Still miss ya...
Paul Granzier
September 11, 2013
To the Heller Family- I was fortunate enough to have the experience of working with Joe after my senior year of High School (St. Ignatius)at a summer job at a company called Halex Factory. He was good a good friend of my brother Joe. We rode together when we had the morning shift for two weeks, and had the chance to hang out during breaks and other interludes during the work day. It was a brief time with Joe, but what a lasting impression he made on me. I was very insecure, self-conscious and immature back then, but the time with Joe meant the world to me-really. He made me feel like an equal-at a time when I always as "the little Granzier" brother. He was a man's man...quick wit, but an underlying compassion and goodness that made for a truly unique person who I will never forget. I have never really gotten over the sadness of his loss, and knowing I would never see him again. But I would like you to know that-as is the case with all special people you meet throughout your life-Joe has left an indelible, lasting impression on me, as I know is the case with countless others.
Dave Hurd
September 11, 2013
Dear Mrs. Heller
You do not know me but I went to St. B's with Joe and rode the bus with him,played football with him we were not close because of our ever so slight age difference but we were still friends. I also knew His sister Colleen . I am a father of three girls and I am proud to say I knew Joe I am also currently friends with J GALVIN who I think the world of he tells me all the time what a great human being he really was God Bless you and your children and you will always be in my prayers. Sincerly Dave Hurd St. Bernadette's class of 77
Krissi Forgues
September 11, 2012
Dear Mrs. Heller and Family,
My name is Krissi. Yesterday and today I was at the 9/11 Memorial and Tribute to honor my friend's brother, Brian Sweeney, and all the other victims of the 9/11 attacks. My friend, Anne, was one of today's readers. While at Tribute, I purchased one of the bracelets with victim's names engraved on them. The bracelet I got was had your husband's name. I found his name on the South Tower Memorial, and said a prayer for him and his loved ones. My intention in writing to you was not to cause you any more pain than this day already brings, but to let you know that people still remember and care. Not a day goes by that Brian's loved ones don't think of him and miss him terribly, and I am sure the same is true of you and yours. I often think things happen for a reason, so I wasn't surprised when I read about your husband, to learn he and Brian had the love of house restoration in common. Brian had just fulfilled his dream of moving to the Cape and begun restoring his home when the attacks occurred. Again, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss, and let know know that people still remember and care. If you would like the bracelet, I'd be happy to send it to you.
Sincerely,
Krissi
Rob Moore '82
September 11, 2012
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Anthony Leanza
September 11, 2011
I pray for your children daily, you all are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I knew something more to say. May God bless you all.
Jessica Lynn
September 11, 2011
Mary Jean,
Through out the world of Facebook and iPhone apps, Joseph's name was randomly selected today. I never expected the emotions that I am feeling for a wonderful person I have never met before. After a few minutes of thought, I wrote a short Facebook status that was dedicated to Joseph and lit a candle for him then I did some research on him. The story of your farm house has really touched my heart. He reminds me so much of my grand-father (I lost him in Feb. 2001) and my dad, even down to the Time-Life magazines and Bob Vila. The values of being a self-taught person that Mr. Heller possessed are the same values that have been handed down to me- in short, I feel a connection between my family and yours. It's so hard to believe that it has been 10 years or that it even happened. I hope you all are doing well today. I live in Mississippi and have never been to New York but I'm hoping to be able to make a trip there soon so that I can again remember the Heller family and everyone who was a part of 9/11. Friends, family even strangers have left beautiful messages about Joseph. So much so that I feel unlucky to not have known him. Hope this message reaches you someday... my thoughts and prayers are with you from this day forward. Please feel free to contact me if you wish, [email protected]
Janet Barker
March 9, 2011
I have had Mr. Heller's name attached to an American Flag on my desk since the first anniversity of the tragedy. I just wanted his family to know that we will not forget. May God Bless you.
Kathy Keefe
September 12, 2010
You all are in my thoughts and prayers
Shaun O'Leary
September 12, 2009
Heller -- Thanks for the OBX and the tradition. Miss you
Don DiPaulo
September 11, 2009
You and your family are in our prayers. I am friends of Joseph's parents from Rocky River Ohio. May God bless you and your children (we have 5 of our own)
Kathleen Keefe
September 10, 2008
To the Heller Family,
You all are in my thoughts and prayers during the 7th anniversary of that tragic day. Although I didn't know Mr. Heller, I am positive he would have gotten a kick out of watching his beautiful daughter out on the field hockey field. It's been my pleasure getting to know you.
Jim Milano
June 4, 2008
Hi MJ.
I just wanted you to know that I think of Joe and your family often. I went to grade school with him at St. Bernadette in Westlake.
Respectfully
Jim Milano
TL Carabillo
October 15, 2007
Scrolling through the list of names - looking for my friend Todd Hill - I saw your husband/father - why I stopped, I dont know - but as I read the profile, I learned you lived in the town in which I grew up. I now live outside of Boston - but am forever tied to beautiful Ridgefield. I'm sorry for the loss of him to you and everyone who knew him. I'm sure he was wonderful. My thoughts are with you and your children.
Ed Davis
September 29, 2007
To the Heller Family, I have a very good idea of what you all are going through as my aunt was lost on 911, my favorite one at that. Now, every year on the 11th of September, I refer to all those who lost their lives on that horrific day as 'their angelversary', and their new birth day. Our first birthday is of the physical nature, our spiritual birthday is of the soul. My prayers to the Heller family are for comfort as I know that the Lord holds each of you in His arms. God Bless you all.
Mia Belanger
September 11, 2007
Hello M.J. I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and the kids today and everyday.
Lynne Bowie
September 11, 2007
Hi MJ,
Thinking of you and the children today. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm wearing my red, white and blue in memory of Joe today.
P Tabbernor
November 2, 2006
In remembrance....
Kristine
October 31, 2006
As I cross-stitched your name on the memorial that I am doing for all of the victims, I prayed for you and your family. Please know that your death was not in vain. We will always remember. God Bless.
Lynne Bowie
September 11, 2006
Dear MJ and Family,
I don't know if you remember me, I was Jack's second grade teacher, Mrs. Slater. I just wanted to say hello and tell you that I think of you often and wonder how you all are doing. Jack must be in 7th grade by now! Mikie must be in school. MJ... I always admired you and your strength. You are in my thoughts and prayers today. I'd love to hear from you.
Lynne
Deirdre D'Arcy Shea
July 31, 2005
Dear M.J.
It has been almost 4 years and I wanted you to know that I think of you and pray for you, your children and Joe every day. I wanted to let you know that even though time has past, people have not forgotten the ultimate sacrifice you and your family have made.
I hope you are enjoying the home that you and Joe carefully remodeled. It sounds beautiful.
I remember the parties at Fairfield and how close you were to Joe. It was obvious that he adored you.
Well, I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you...
Deirdre D'Arcy Shea
Marisa Nigro
September 30, 2003
Dear MJ,
I feel as if I've known you for a long while, as both my sister Paula, and my sister-in-law Jacki, had both worked with you at People's Bank many moons ago... Jacki has often spoken of you and always shows me your children's Christmas photocard-- they are beautiful!
Ever since the events of September 11, 2001, I think of you and your family and remember you in my prayers. Please know how very many people from around the world [and even in your own "backyard"!]are lifting you up to God. And I believe that your husband is smiling with every prayer sent heavenward... God bless you!!
With Love and Prayers,
Sherri Hall
September 12, 2003
Mrs. Heller, I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know you and didn't know your husband but I am sorry about him being gone. I hope you and the children are doing as well as can be expected. Your husband sounded like a great guy and I bet you have a lovely home. I know you were so proud of him in the way you described him. Take care.
Rafe Delli-Bovi
September 11, 2003
I grew up in Ridgefield and now live on the West Coast with my family. And so, we share the loss of Joseph with your family and friends. As a member of your extended community we feel your family's pain and will remember you and Joseph in our thoughts and prayers. His picture evokes the image of a loving father and the strength and intelligence of a great man. We wish we had had the chance to know him. God bless your family.
ed chermol
August 8, 2003
i'll be 40 years old on sept 12th.......and i still can't type or spell ..baer with me ......between 1984 and 1986 i lived inthe caddyshake with 10 guys .....a typical yet untypical "animal" house ...we were not a fraternity we were a few freinds who had some freinds that mixed all together madeup the cadyshake ......we ate dinner together 4 nights a week .....and i mean good meals ...it was almost a competion to out do each other.....steve's cooking with maddog's was the worst ......it was a family .....i don't want to sound corny but the truth is joe was the heart and mike was the soul of our college family ......we truly loved each other ......as time pasted and our familys grew we always got together as much as possible...... we always we're truly happy for each others success's....and there for the hard times.......since collage i've made great freinds married my soulmate and had three kids who all look like ME.......i know i lost part of myself on september 11th but as that date approachs again i realize how blessed i am to have been a part of such a special group of freinds...................even you shawn and yes you still owe me money from 1990...........love you .......ed
Rachael Donham
September 13, 2002
Dear Mary Jean,
My name is Rachael I attend Willits High School. On Sep.11, 2002 our high school gave out names of victims and I am honored to have been given your husbands name. I wanted to let you know that I will always carry him around in my pocket. That I will think of the man that I have tried to learn so much about in the past two days, forever. I never really believed that it actually happened untill I was handed his name. Then all I wanted to do is learn about him. I give my condolences to you and your children. I know that he is watching over you right now telling you that everything is going to be all right.
He will be missed, forever
Rebecca Ewing
September 12, 2002
Dear Mary Jean,
My name is Rebecca Ewing. I am a classical singer living in Charlottesville, VA. Yesterday morning I had the honor of participating in what became known as "The Rolling Requiem". Hundreds of choral groups around the world performed the Mozart Requiem beginning at 8:46 am (each in their own time zone). When we entered the church we randomly chose a name tag bearing the name of someone who lost their life on September 11th, to wear in memoriam while we sang. I chose your husband Howard Joseph Heller, Jr. After the very emotional performance of over 250 singers and musicians, I felt compelled to come home and find out who this man was on my name tag, to further honor him. After a short search I found CNN.com with a beautiful memorial to your husband...and also this link (I'm thankful to have the opportunity to contact you) Being a musician in a small town in Virginia, at first I felt far removed from the circles your husband revolved in, in New York City and the World Trade Center. But after reading all the wonderful comments about him from friends and colleagues, I realized none of us are complete strangers, really. I am 41 years old, born and raised in Massachusetts and I went to college in Connecticut. My fondest memories of New England are those in the fall, with the changing of the leaves and the cool crisp air. I can't begin to imagine the sorrow and loss you and your children deal with daily, but I will hold on to this name tag as a constant reminder of how precious life is and to make the very most of each new day so that the deaths of your husband and all who perished that day will not have been in vain. Howard Joseph Heller, Jr. and his family are now in my thoughts and prayers always.
Thank you,
Rebecca
[email protected]
The Higgins Family
September 12, 2002
As friends of Joseph's parents, we grieve their loss which, in turn, we now hold as our own...
To Joseph's wife, we express our condolences as well as offer our deepest apology for the senseless act that took him from you and your children. (We do this because those involved with the act would never, will never, and you are owed at least that much)...
To all who see this, we offer our faith --- our faith in our heavenly Father, our faith in our fellow man and our faith (and experiences) that, although we may never fully understand what it is, there is always a reason for everything that touches our life...
Lest we forget; today and all days...
Bob Saringer
September 11, 2002
MaryJean,
A year has past since you spoke with Joe and he told you he would find a way out of the WTC. Well he did and just remember he is looking over you and all his children in a place he can take care of you and them for the rest of there life. I hope that the pain lessens as time goes on. Even though I had not seen him since high school/grade school I know he was a great person. Just remember 9/11 wasn't the end of his life but the beginning of his legacy. Godspeed.
Irene Burgess
September 11, 2002
MJ,
I never know what to say when I see you at school, however I did want you to know how sorry I am for your loss and how I am so impressed with how you have been so brave and kept your children so secure. You are an inspiration to mothers (and fathers) everywhere. I can only wish you and the kids the best for ever and hope that you will be kept safe from any harm for hereafter.
Irene Burgess
Sandy Lipson
June 4, 2002
God bless the grieving family members of this wonderful man. May his spirit shine forth on others through those who loved and knew him best.
Angie Campbell
April 30, 2002
May God Bless you and the family and friends that you left behind on 9/11/01. Rest in his loving peace...........
John Patton
March 11, 2002
MJ:Our thoughts and prayers are for you and the children. When I think of Joe, sometimes with a tear and sometimes with a smile, I remember how strong of a man he was and it gives me strength. We will continue to pray for your strength in the days ahead. God Bless, JP\MP
February 2, 2002
DEAR GOD SHINE YOUR LIGHT ON THIS BEAUTIFUL MAN H.JOSEPH HELLER AND MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PEACE WITH GOD AND HIS ANGELS..GOD BLESS HIS WIFE..FOUR CHILDREN..FAMILY AND FRIENDS..GOD BLESS HIS HOME AND MAY HIS FAMILY STAY CLOSE AND NEVER FORGET 9/11/01..MAY JESUS AND ST.JOSEPH GREET YOU AT THE GATES OF HEAVEN...AMEN
Robert (ROBO) DePalma
January 22, 2002
It was a pleasure standing in front of Joe in the Trading Pit. On busy days, you could always count on Joe to do his absolute best to obtain the best "fill" for his customer and on slow days, you could always count on Joe for some interesting insight on current events or just a nice story about his family.
He will be missed.
Teresa Jahn
December 29, 2001
We are very sorry for your loss of Joseph. May his life and love live on in those who love him. Everytime you look from the windows of his dream home may you feel the warmth of his love surrounding you.
Our hearts cry with you in your loss of Joseph.
America Cries
We see your sorrow-
and our hearts cry....
We can not erase your pain
but you do not have to face the anguish alone-for we-
-the American people-
are beside you.
We so desperately want to have the touch that brings you comfort,
the strength that gives you courage,
and the words to lighten your spirits.
And when we are left speechless
may the silence of our nation weave love into your hearts
to ease your sorrow.
May you find healing through our nation's strength as we-
-the American people-
face this difficult time together. Our hearts are with you. Teresa Jahn
Dixon, IL
Stephen Humes
October 24, 2001
Joe Heller was a great friend. I had the pleasure of spending four years with him as fellow biology majors at Fairfield University. Over our college years, Joe's incredible charisma and loyalty to his friends showed as he amassed a huge crowd of extended friends who always loved the time they spent with Joe. We had some great debates about politics, sports and life in which Joe always stuck to his principles.
Joe was a wonderful husband and father of four loving young children who were robbed senselessly of a great father.
May God give you eternal rest, Joe, and may your spirit be a source of continuing strength for your family and friends who miss you so much.
God Bless America.
Showing 1 - 48 of 48 results
Make a Donation
in H. Heller's name
How to support H. 's loved ones
Honor a beloved veteran with a special tribute of ‘Taps’ at the National WWI Memorial in Washington, D.C.
The nightly ceremony in Washington, D.C. will be dedicated in honor of your loved one on the day of your choosing.
Read more
Should I Send Sympathy Flowers?
What kind of arrangement is appropriate, where should you send it, and when should you send an alternative?
Read more
What Should I Write in a Sympathy Card?
We'll help you find the right words to comfort your family member or loved one during this difficult time.
Read moreResources to help you cope with loss
Estate Settlement Guide
If you’re in charge of handling the affairs for a recently deceased loved one, this guide offers a helpful checklist.
Read more
Obituaries, grief & privacy: Legacy’s news editor on NPR podcast
Legacy's Linnea Crowther discusses how families talk about causes of death in the obituaries they write.
Read more
The Five Stages of Grief
They're not a map to follow, but simply a description of what people commonly feel.
Read moreWays to honor H. Heller's life and legacy
Obituary Examples
You may find these well-written obituary examples helpful as you write about your own family.
Read more
Obituary Templates – Customizable Examples and Samples
These free blank templates make writing an obituary faster and easier.
Read more
How Do I Write a Eulogy?
Some basic help and starters when you have to write a tribute to someone you love.
Read more
Sponsored