Robert Monroe McMillan

March 2, 1954 - October 9, 2023

Raleigh, North Carolina - Robert Monroe McMillan, Jr., a resident of Raleigh, N.C., son of Robert Monroe McMillan, M.D. and Dorothy Burchfield McMillan, died on October 9, 2023. Robert (Bert) was born in Southern Pines, N.C. on March 2, 1954. Robert graduated from the Hill School, Pottstown, PA., in 1972, and from N.C. State University with B.A. in Philosophy in 1978. Robert loved playing music on his stand-up bass with multiple bands throughout the triangle region. A bar tender and manager at several Raleigh establishments, most recently the Player's Retreat, his customers and co-workers became his devoted friends. His beloved standard poodle dogs were his constant companions, whether sitting at a bar or walking Lake Johnson.

Robert is survived by his sisters; Mary McMillan (John Jackson), and Julia McMillan (Jed Dietz) and their children; Edith Dietz (Emmanuel Opati), Robert Dietz (Julie), and Elihu Dietz (Lily Rothman); and 4 great-niece and nephews.

In lieu of flowers donations may be made to the Nature Conservancy of North Carolina or to the North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences. A Celebration of Life will be held at a later date.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by The News & Observer on Oct. 22, 2023.

Memories and Condolences
for Robert McMillan

Sponsored by Cremation Society of the Carolinas/Capital Funeral Home - Raleigh.

30 Entries

Jill Hertrick

September 16, 2025

What a wonderful friend and bass player. I first met Bert at The Flying Burrito and at then it was over to the PR where he greeted you with a smile & truly cared about those he met. Sadly, I had lost touch with him, yet I´m blessed I had many great times spent with him and memories to remember. We once made a trip to a friends wedding in VA, chatting the whole way there. The best part were all the strange looks we received, as if they never saw a beautiful bass strapped down in the backseat of a convertible! Oh the laughs we had!
I hope you are still playing that bass and sharing that smile! You will always be missed.

The Sowards

February 25, 2025

Also had lunch at the PR a few weeks ago and asked the waitress is she knew Bert and wondered what happened to Bert´s poodle, Callie. She knew of Bert and thought she had heard someone in the family has Callie. I know how much she meant to him.

Mike Warner

February 24, 2025

Had lunch at PR last week. Of course I mentioned you to our waitress. She was way too young to have known you, but she certainly knew of you. That's legacy!

Mary Williams

November 29, 2023

Sorry to hear about the passing of Bert. I met him and his Poodle Jimmy at Lake Johnson. I met the second Poodle last year. Bert was very friendly and a kind soul. He invited me to hear him play in Durham and Player´s retreat. I walked mornings and occasionally afternoons when he walked. Glad I got to meet and know him. Blessings, peace, and comfort to the family.

Saly Hollister Nobles

November 10, 2023

News is trickling out about the loss of this wonderful man. I was lucky enough to have known him forever. We grew up together in S.P., both sent off as 'preppies' but would be reunite in the summers and vacation times. Then he went Red (NCSU) and I went Purple (ECU). Oh, the stories we could tell.... Our parents were best friends - and that was forever too. When I first moved to Raleigh, he was one of the first people to check in on me.

Such a gentle spirit and kind soul. There's a new shining star in the sky now - it seems to constantly twinkle in time to the music. Peace to you my dear friend.

Peach and Jim

November 9, 2023

We missed Robert this year for our annual fall cabin retreat. We had a few planning phone calls in October, leaf peeping, target shooting, skeet and a hike were all on the agenda. We even had a temporary 'bedroom' set up for him on the front porch where he liked to sleep. So many good memories.

We miss you buddy.

Kerri Bridges

Planted Trees

Cameron Smail

November 1, 2023

I, like Bobby W have known Robert from almost birth. He is 8 days older than me so we probably passed each other in the maternity ward at some point. I have the most vivid memories running around Southern Pines with Robert on bikes, back when kids could do such a thing. SP was so small, everyone knew each other. Robert's dad was one of the few docs in the area and Bobby's dad was my dentist. I can remember Robert's mom dropping us off at the Carolina Country Club, I think it was called, and playing in their lake trying to sink one of the unsinkable aluminum fishing boats they kept on the bank. At some point, probably after I'd moved away and came back to visit, we went hunting together on the one and only time I ever did that.

We both were gone for high school at boarding schools (though I'd left town after the 7th grade) and would still find each other on vacations in SP. On one such occasion, and I have no memory of where or when, we ran into each other and discovered we both had gotten into NC State in Raleigh and decided we'd room together, which we did in Gold Dorm for our freshman year. I'm pretty sure we both went to class at least a few times. It was there I discovered Robert's interest in music. I recall he tried to interest me in the guitar (which I probably assumed might improve my love life) and my disappointment when I learned I couldn't find a note. It was sometime after college I learned of Robert's fascination with Frank Zappa, and I never fail to think of Robert when they play the "Frank on Friday" radio program on our local public radio station.

We kept up with each other over the years, Robert being the best at it with his Christmas cards every year for years. Wendy and I truly counted the receipt of his cards every year as one way of marking the Holiday Season. It will be so sad not to get one this year. We have kept all of them on our bulletin board in the kitchen. Robert and I shared our love of dogs. He, his standard poodles, and me whatever dog I had at the moment. Robert lived for years at a boarding kennel out from Raleigh, the site of many a party.

A gift Robert always had was no matter the length of time between visits, it always felt as a day hadn't passed. He was always a true friend and

You'll be missed Robert.

Cam S

Mike McCormac

October 29, 2023

I was extremely sad to learn of the passing of Robert. We were friends when we were young, before he went away to high school. I would see him occasionally over the years, mostly in Raleigh. My sympathies to all of his family and friends. We have lost another good man.

Nancy Austin Snyder

October 29, 2023

I grew up with Robert in SP and his dad was our PC doctor who often made house calls. I loved his dad and Robert was just like him. I lost contact with Robert when he went to 'prep school' as we called it during out high school years. Thanks to Bob Warlick posting this on FB I have reconnected. I read every one of the notes here and it looks like I missed out on a relationship with a special person. My sympathy goes out to Robert's family and friends.

Debra Dampier

October 26, 2023

Rest in peace, my friend. Surrounded by music and standard poodles.

Julia Arrowood McMillan

October 24, 2023

Help us celebrate the life of Robert (Bert) McMillan on Sunday, November 12 at 2 pm.
Location: All Faiths Chapel at Dorthea Dix Park, 1030 Richardson Drive, Raleigh, NC 27603. We´ll continue the celebration at 3:30 pm at Players Retreat, 105 Hillsborough Street.

Marcia Bryan

October 22, 2023

Robert, but as I know you were Bert to many, I so appreciate your friendship over the years...for your family, I was part of the PR regulars and I knew Robert several years. I suspect, even though he thought he retired he's in Heaven serving Bob Hughes a Yuengling and Jim Pyne whatever he prefers at the moment, and then there's Fritz and Dick Barnes, many more I know so Robert, here's sending you love and hugs from down here...I'll have a Coke when I get there.

Lee Venters

October 19, 2023

Robert was friend since 1974.We played in a band that played throughout NC. Everytime I would visit Raleigh I´d drop by to say hello to my friend Robert. I live in the Keys and am learning of his transition. A good musician and even better friend to many... RIP Robert

Robert Buchholz

October 18, 2023

Good memories of Robert from our younger days many years ago. Times in the woods playing games and times in Boy Scouts.
RIP ROBERT.

Kerri B Bridges

October 18, 2023

Hi, Not sure who will see this. I am his Lake Johnson Christmas Card photographer. Please let me know service details t celebrate, he will be so missed and I am forever grateful we met on the trail many moons ago.
Kerri Bridges

Bob Warlick

October 17, 2023

Will miss seeing Roberts Christmas cards. It was all about meeting people at Johnson lake !! Thank you Carrie !! You set the stage to complete Roberts Loving his Poodles to share with us
RIP Bert

Soni Warlick Carr

October 17, 2023

Our families grew up in the same neighborhood in Southern Pines. Robert's dad, Dr. Robert McMillan, was our family doctor who made house calls back in the day. Another great one gone too soon. Sincere condolences to the family and all whose lives were touched by Robert.

Bob Warlick

October 17, 2023

Sad to hear about my best friend Bert,of 69 years. We met in strollers as totalers. Our parents had maids back in the day. Mozel for Bert, Naomi for me Bob Warlick. As we grew we camped out at least once a month, played Army in uniform just like the program Combat !!
His nickname then was Rubber Toes and mine was Boobytrap !!!! We also had the best time in Boy Scouts troop 223. Scoutmaster Doc, Bruce Warlick led us down the path of fun and experience of our young lives. I am very sad today and I was in denial that I was told by Patty Thompson. Robert M McMillan jr had passed! I didn´t remember that he also was a jr.
I can´t say enough about Bert as he was a friend for life , friend to everyone, lover of Standard Poodles, Great bass guitarist, professional bartender, Carolina Brewery Tour guide, loved his beer and Double Vodka and Cranberry at Sammy´s every afternoon, loved all the waitresses!!!! When I would go to Raleigh for Materials I could always surprise him at Sammy´s like clockwork,he would alway say " And what did I do to deserve this Visit" My father and I would show up at Players Retreat when he was very busy and just surprised him to the max to see Bruce Warlick sitting across the bar. I loved the man dearly, will alway keep him in my Heart. Friend forever. Sending my condolences to Julia and Mary and family and to all of his friends as I know we are all at a loss!
Rest in Peace my friend!!

Dave Simpson

October 16, 2023

Never forget the time Robert showed up at the PR, on his day off no less, with one of his standard poodles sporting the canine equivalent of his owner´s matching Fu Manchu. Not sure who was prouder, the mutt or the man, but we sure enjoyed a good laugh and draft beer.

Taylor King

October 16, 2023

I first met Rob back in 1974 in philosophy class. I always knew him as Rob. We became friends after class as he turned me on to his thoughts and other things. Very intelligent guy. It was uncanny to me how often we would run into one another over the years. I think we shared a love for the CV Underground. He always remembered me and I him and even though we only talked casually, I always will remember him as my friend. I guess he made a lot of people feel the same way. I am sad that I will not run into him again but I believe it is fate that I will see him again in the Cosmos.

Linda O´Connor

October 16, 2023

Oh Bert - how you will be missed! Your lovely smile and joyful greetings always made our day. Dave, you and I spent so many hours "chewing the fat" while walking around Lake Johnson. ..first with handsome Jimmy, then Jimmy II and lastly beautiful Callie. Those trails will never be the same without you, dear friend. Rest in Peace, Bert. You were and are one in a million.

Sharon Soward

October 16, 2023

We only recently met Bert and Callie because we were getting a standard poodle puppy. Did not talk often but saw him on our weekly visits to Sammy´s. I know Callie will miss him. Hope she finds a new home.

Kathy Matthews

October 16, 2023

Julia, Mary, and Family, I'm sorry to hear of Bert's death. Keeping you all in my prayers. Kathy Matthews (daughter of Kay Arrowood Hicks).

Jim Jenkins

October 16, 2023

This is a superb remembrance, no wonder given his sisters' brilliance -- and their fondness for Bert shone through. He was a "great guy," simply put, good company, and made a wonderful chestnut stuff at Thanksgiving.

Mike Warner

October 16, 2023

Only Bert could put up with a loud group of disorganized and thirsty musicians, singing in German, singing show tunes, and generally making an embarrassing nuisance of ourselves week after week after week. When Bert wasn't there when we were at PR, a pencil was missing (damned computers) and a voice was missing - yeah, he learned just enough German to sing Ein Prosit Der Gemuetlichkeit with us. RIP(ilsner), Bert!

Paul Pinkston

October 16, 2023

I first met Bert when he worked at the Pier. I didn't see him for years, but he remembered me, and that seemed amazing. After that we spoke often at the PR and at Carolina Brewing Company. Always a great guy! He will be missed!

Andrea Maurice

October 15, 2023

Sincere condolences to Robert´s family. Too soon an exit of a gentle man who spread joy to many.

Deborah L Hicks

Planted Trees

Kate b

October 15, 2023

Bert, u are already missed :) when I first met u, I was 21 years old and I went to the PR after I got off work bartending at Sadlack's (my first industry job). You and Jared were working. U asked me out lol! Always a ladies man haha ..
Then we worked together at PR. U were the only bartender that used a jigger. Everybody else seemed to do the counting method. When u weren't working, sometimes you'd come in on Sundays (pitcher day!!) and get a Carolina Brewing Company pitcher.
Then we played at the BBQ multiple years!!! SALT. U are gonna kill it as the bass player in the Cool Kids Band in Heaven. I luv u dude. Thanks for being a friend.

Showing 1 - 30 of 30 results