John Robert Woods

Woods, John Robert 2-17-29 to 7-20-18. It disappoints me to announce this but if you are reading this, apparently I have passed on at the still very youthful age of 89. I suppose I got tired of all of my family and friends beating me to The Pearly Gates. Since serving in the military during the (pointless) Korean War, that experience instilled in me a lifelong loathing for ever having to wait in line for anything. So I am pleased to announce I was the first in line at The Gates when God called me home. The memories I take with me to the Hereafter are more valuable to me than all the channels on my premium cable subscription. For I entered the military as a kid but came out a man who was so fortunate to travel the World during my tour of duty. I had already led an adventurous and happy life when God doubly blessed me with twin daughters, Barbara and Deborah Woods as well as a merry gang of step-children including Judith, Kenneth, David and Lynda Owens. I was blessed again by a long retirement from Pet, Inc spanning 30+ years. Golfing every day, traveling to MN & VA when the fishing was good and spend precious time with my loved ones and my spoiled grandcats whose cat hair I won't miss but whose catnaps on my lap I surely will. I will forever cherish the friendships I made in the South County Mall walking group and its band of misfits. Thanks for welcoming me into your tribe and know that I treasured spending Sundays solving all the World's problems together. To the ICU doctors who attended to me at St. John's Mercy I would like to say thanks for nothing - for if you actually excelled at your occupation you wouldn't be reading this obituary, now would you!? Instead of a depressing funeral, an Irish-style Wake will be held at a future date. In lieu of flowers, please do something nice for my twin daughters - for what can I say? Once a Daddy always a Daddy and I will continue to worry about them always as good Dads do even into the Hereafter. Cheers, everyone! It was a great ride!