How to Choose a Cemetery

If you’re planning a funeral and burial, you’re faced with deciding which cemetery is the right choice. Whether you’re pre-planning for yourself long before you’ll need it, or you’re quickly organizing a loved one’s funeral after their death, you’ll need to take a number of factors into account as you choose a cemetery.

You can get help and information from your funeral director, and you may want to do some research of your own as well. Check cemeteries’ websites, call and ask questions, and, most importantly if you have time to do it, visit cemeteries and see them for yourself.

Here are some of the considerations you’ll want to keep in mind:

Location

For some people, location will be the most important criterion. Does the cemetery you choose need to be close to home? If you’re making arrangements for a loved one’s funeral and you plan to visit their gravesite regularly, you’ll probably want to choose a location that’s easy for you to get to. If other family members will also want to visit, maybe you’ll consider a more central location.

But convenience isn’t the only consideration when you’re thinking about location. For someone who moved around a lot as an adult but still has a well-loved hometown, maybe that hometown is the best place for their gravesite, a sentimental choice that can bring loved ones back to the homestead when they want to visit. Or maybe there’s another favorite place that’s neither a hometown nor a current location – a college town, an annual vacation spot – that has a beautiful cemetery that feels just right.

Appearance

Speaking of beautiful cemeteries… the physical features in the cemetery may be an important consideration for you. Some cemeteries have rolling hills and others are flat; some offer a park-like setting with plenty of trees while others keep the plantings to smaller floral selections. Maybe a location near a pond or stream feels like the most beautiful option to you. Maybe it matters to you whether the cemetery is a quiet oasis in a bustling city versus being surrounded by fields and forests in the countryside. Maybe you prefer the modern style of a memorial park, with only flat stones flush to the ground, or maybe you love the look of a traditional cemetery, with a wide variety of headstones in different shapes and sizes and colors.

You can find a lot out about the appearance of a cemetery by looking at photos online or in a brochure. But if the beauty of the cemetery is very important to you, you might prefer to tour it in person to make sure it looks like the peaceful resting place you’ve been envisioning.

Availability of plots

There are many cemeteries that are entirely full or where available space is limited. It may be that the beautiful, historic cemetery you see every day on the way to work isn’t an option because there are no plots available. Or it may be that the only plots available are in less desirable locations that won’t feel right for you. This will need to be one of your first questions, and it may be that some of your preferred choices will drop off the list when you get your answer.

Religious affiliation

For some, it’s important to be buried in a religious cemetery. Your place of worship may have a cemetery onsite or be affiliated with one elsewhere in the area. If not, ask your spiritual leader for recommendations of nearby cemeteries that align with your religious beliefs.

Veteran status

If you are a veteran, or your loved one is, a national cemetery might be the right choice. Veterans and their spouses can be buried together in most national cemeteries, as can those who have served in the Reserves or National Guard, commissioned officers of the NOAA or Public Health Service, and certain others. If you think you or your loved one might qualify to be buried in a national cemetery, check with the Veterans Administration. In some cases, burial costs are waived for burial in a national cemetery.

If you qualify for burial in a national cemetery but you prefer not to be buried there, that’s fine – you can choose not to be buried in a national cemetery even if you’re eligible. It may be that other cemeteries you’re considering offer benefits for veterans, such as reduced fees, so check with them.

Burial options

If you prefer to be buried in a mausoleum, or to be cremated and have your ashes scattered in a cemetery scattering garden, this will affect your choice of cemetery because these options aren’t available at all cemeteries. The same goes if you prefer an eco-friendly burial or would like to skip the added expense of a grave liner or burial vault. If you’re looking for anything other than traditional 20^th century U.S. burial, your options are likely to narrow somewhat, and your funeral director can help point you toward a cemetery that has the burial option you’re seeking.

Cost

Of course, cost may very well be an important consideration as you look at cemetery options. Some cemeteries are more expensive than others, and certain desirable locations in a cemetery may be more expensive than other locations in that same cemetery. There are fees you may not have been aware of, such as opening and closing the grave (which are the industry terms for digging and refilling it). Other costs may include perpetual care, permits, and a grave liner or burial vault, which are required in some cemeteries. You might save money while pre-planning by buying a family plot for several people rather than choosing each of their gravesites individually.

The cemeteries you’re looking at should be able to provide you with a full breakdown of costs, so be sure to ask for this if you’re trying to plan within a tight budget. Comparing the costs at a few cemeteries might reveal one option that’s substantially more affordable than others.

Restrictions

Some cemeteries have restrictions on what styles of monuments can be used, what types of floral arrangements and other memorials can be left at gravesites, and what you can plant at a gravesite. Some have specific cleanup days when any loose memorials will be removed and others might reserve the right to remove such things without warning. Be sure to ask about any restrictions at a cemetery if this is important to you.

Upkeep

If you have time to visit cemeteries as you’re making your choice, take a look around to see how the cemetery is maintained. Has the grass been mowed, and trees and shrubs kept healthy and tidy? Are any structures and roadways in good repair? Has debris from storms or trash left by other visitors been picked up? If these things haven’t been kept up and the cemetery looks neglected, it might not be the right choice for you.

You may also want to ask if cemetery management is responsible for maintaining the gravesites, or if it’s up to individual families. If grave maintenance is not part of the fee you pay when you arrange the burial, the family will have to tend to any plantings or memorials left at the gravesite, as well as taking care of any cleaning and repair needed on the headstone. If this feels like something you can’t or prefer not to do, you’ll want to seek a cemetery that includes this maintenance via a perpetual care fund or other arrangement.

The future of the cemetery

Will the cemetery be expanded in the future? Is it likely to become full soon with no plans for expansion? Are any other changes potentially on the horizon for the cemetery? Who will be responsible for its upkeep in the long term? These are questions worth asking as you make your decision. It’s important to confirm that it will be the kind of resting place you’re envisioning and that loved ones will be able to continue to visit for years to come.

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