The death of a spouse or partner feels like losing part of yourself, but it’s important to remember that you are still you—even without your partner.
Q: “He has been my everyday living breathing life and soul for 28 years, so I’m just so lost and half here—the rest of me is with him. How can I live a life that’s dead? Because without him I am!”
We use the image of “a heart with ears,” to help communicate how to listen to hurting people—and I know you’ve been hurting for a long time.
The image of only being partially here is powerful, but is dangerous for setting up the idea that life is not valuable without him.
Since he was such a wonderful man, one of your purposes is to share the goodness of him—not so much to bemoan his absence.
Are you grieving the loss of a partner or spouse? Find comfort in our grief support group.
As I am the continuation of my mother and father, who are both dead; and to a certain degree, that I carry forward in my current marriage some of the virtues and goodness of my two previous marriages, even though those endings were painful, I think you need to carry forward the sweetness along with the fact that you miss him so much.
You were a whole and complete person when you met him and his presence in your life allowed you to expand who and what you are. Yes, your life contracts without him here, but you are still a whole and complete person.
From our hearts to yours,
and John James
© 2018 John W. James and The Grief Recovery Institute®. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint this and other articles please contact The Grief Recovery Institute at [email protected]ecoverymethod.com or by phone, 800-334-7606.
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