Johanna HELFINGER

1930 - 2019

JOHANNA HELFINGER (née Stuehler) Johanna Maria Magdalena Helfinger, formerly of Kitchener, passed away peacefully at the Gibson Long Term Care Residence, Toronto, on September 30, 2019, at the age of 89. Born in Obertheres-am-Main, Bavaria, Germany on September 16, 1930, daughter of the late Hermann Stuehler and Monika Saeger. Survived by her son, Michael Helfinger (Debbie Grant) of Toronto and her sister Helene Frey of Eltmann-am-Main, Germany. Predeceased by her husband, Rudolf in 2014 and her daughter Nancy (McCormack) in July 2019. Mom was one of a kind. She loved reading, loved the public library and knew all the librarians well. Her tastes were eclectic; she adored books on Charlemagne as well as Peanuts cartoons. She could recite lines from Shakespeare and Mel Brooks. She devoured scholarly works on the Middle Ages, but also loved Good Housekeeping and The People's Friend. Michael and Nancy's childhood was marked by Mom's various jobs and unusual enthusiasms. She had a job in chocolate factory and used to come home smelling of chocolate and carrying a bag of the broken chocolate pieces sold at discount to the workers. Later, when she worked in a drug store, she'd come home smelling of perfume, eucalyptus and Vitamin B. One of her most memorable enthusiasms was for Ireland-its history, people and music. During this phase, she sought out Irish people, making friends and charming as well as frightening them with her zeal. She also went through a Latin phase where she made friends with a local priest who tutored her in Latin. She memorized Latin declensions and struggled through Tacitus and Pliny. Books on the Romans filled the house. Mom's self-education was haphazard but impressive. She was a whiz on history, geography and English literature. The show Jeopardy wasn't too much of a challenge for her-she'd often call out answers well in advance of any contestant hitting the button. Later in life, when she still worked at a physically demanding job, she took Italian courses at the University of Waterloo, apologizing to us when she got any mark other than an A. Her burning curiosity about the world was passed on to her children and created a climate supportive of learning within the home. Michael and Nancy were the first in the family to attend university and both earned post-graduate degrees. Mom sketched pictures and wrote limericks; she loved crossword puzzles. Yet, you couldn't watch television when she was around because she'd often stand between you and the TV set to give you her opinions. Movie theatres were out of the question because she couldn't keep quiet. Going out to a restaurant was also unworkable since she would eat at home first and then wonder why she'd no appetite. But she made sure that little treats, indulgences, and pleasures were always woven into any ordinary day-what mom called our "hyacinth for the soul." These included those memorable trips early on sleepy, golden summer mornings to Pinehurst Lake with the car full of lawn chairs, a cooler full of assorted sandwiches and a large thermos of coffee. We would swim, sun, read and doze, and later, once the park became full, we'd pack up and go home, still full of the wonder of that early morning visit. She was gentle and tough; fearless and fearful. When dad was working night shift and she'd hear a noise downstairs, she'd grab a baseball bat and disappear into the dark without a second thought. Yet, she fretted constantly about her kids-were we eating enough? Were we warm enough? She was both superstitious, consulting horoscopes, and pan-religious, willing to entreat "whatever gods may be." Dad, who never seemed to want much for himself, loved her with every inch of his soul and cared for her even when Alzheimer's began to blot out her crazy, funny, maddening personality. The stress of looking after her eventually killed him. Throughout his final days in hospital, he thought only about her. Her legacy to her children was a childhood filled with love, books, music, humour-such as the little poems she'd copy and leave around the house: "Hope for the best but expect the worst. Life's a play and we're unrehearsed." She was truly one of a kind, remaining that way throughout her unrehearsed life. Cremation has taken place. A Requiem Mass will be arranged at a later date in Germany near her birthplace and extended family. Michael and Debbie would like to express heartfelt thanks to Mom's dedicated caregivers at the Gibson LTC Residence, especially Maria Fe, Oksana, Anabila and Paula as well as RNs Katia and Sari. Expressions of sympathy may be made through donations to the Alzheimer Society of Ontario, 20 Eglinton Ave. W., 16th Floor, Toronto, ON M4R 1K8 or online at www.alzheimer.ca.