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Joseph FARRELL Obituary
Memories and Condolences
for Joseph FARRELL
3 Entries
Karen Klawin
December 22, 2012
Obed Mfum-Mensah
December 17, 2012
Joe, my professor, supervisor and friend. I am thankful and grateful to have worked as your research assistant. I can't thank you enough for the wonderful mentoring. Always singing and smiling. You will always live in my heart.
Obed
Ron Huffman
December 12, 2012
Uncle Joe – Recollections from an Admiring Nephew
Uncle Joe….Uncle Joe. Just saying the words brings a rush of memories. Memories of family get togethers, holidays, and vacations. I am lucky enough to have had a ‘favorite uncle” - Uncle Joe. Uncle Joe was fun, cool and exotic. He had a PhD (I didn't know what that meant when I was a youngster but I knew it meant he was smart), he briefly lived in Chile, South America but his permanent home was in Toronto, Canada. Chile and Toronto were distant exotic locations to a young boy. He was bilingual (Spanish), played the guitar and happily entertained at family gatherings. My cousins (Uncle Joe's kids) were also purportedly bilingual (although I never tested the theory) from time spent in Chile. All I knew was that Uncle Joe was family and I was part of that family. I was hopeful that some of that fun and cool would rub off on me.
My earliest memories of Uncle Joe was seeing him play chess with my father at my “Pop-pop's house during a family gathering in Pennsylvania. They played for what seemed to be hours at a small window table in the dining room. My memory was of an epic battle that matched two brilliant minds in a war that should have no victor. Nobody was smarter than my Dad! No one could beat my Dad at chess. After all, Dad had a chess trophy on display in our den. Dad had read Aaron Nomzovich's (the Russian Chess Champion) Chess book called “My System”. Dad had taught me chess. No one could possibly beat Dad at chess. Yet somehow, my recollection is that Uncle Joe had won a hard fought victory. The legend of Uncle Joe was taking shape. I was determined that someday I would play chess with Uncle Joe.
To a 10 year old nephew, Uncle Joe was cool. He played guitar! He was probably the first person I ever met that played guitar. When Uncle Joe arrived for a visit, we (my brother, sister and I) knew that sometime during his visit, we would be entertained with song and uninterrupted family time. Of course we had family musical requests. He would thrill us with a wonderful rendition of the “Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”. Long before I ever heard Gordon Lightfoot's best selling song, it was Uncle Joe that captivated us with a song that was also a story. It was a story full of excitement that could stir a young boy's heart. He sang a song with violent storms, ship wrecks, and mystery! We couldn't wait for his next song which was always Uncle Joe's rendition of “The Billboard” folk song. The song about the tattered billboard that revealed mixed up advertisements. Uncle Joe always got a laugh when he sang the verse…”Smoke Coca-Cola chewing gum, Chew Wrigley's Spearmint beer… Ken—L—Ration dog food keeps your complexion clear… Simonize your baby with a Hershey's candy bar … and Pepsi—Cola beauty cream is used by all the stars!” We couldn't get enough of that song. We would ask Uncle Joe to sing it again and again. Everyone was happy, everyone was laughing (including Uncle Joe) and we didn't want it to end.
Much of the Uncle Joe legend came to me from my mother. She would talk to her sister (Uncle Joe's wife Joan) and relay their latest family exploits including continued world travel to more exotic locations. Mom would report on Uncle Joe's latest book, the cousin's latest achievements, and the amount of snow piling up in Toronto. The legend continued to grow after visiting Uncle Joe and family in Toronto. I latched on to human stories of Uncle Joe falling asleep with his hand in a bag of potato chips. I remember walking to a park in Toronto and Uncle Joe explaining to me that the unusual sport we were watching was lawn bowling! I also remember seeing hail from a daytime storm in their front yard that was the size of large marbles. Mostly I remember Uncle Joe always taking the time to listen and patiently converse with his young nephew. I don't remember what we talked about but I vividly remember his articulate manner and his pleasant laugh. His whole body would shake, especially his shoulders, when he laughed. He was probably the first person I ever met that enjoyed laughing at his own jokes! I laughed along even though I probably didn't even understand what I was laughing about.
I was marking my time until I had the confidence to someday challenge Uncle Joe to a game of chess. The time finally came when I was in my teens and Uncle Joe and family were coming to visit us in Massachusetts. I couldn't wait! This time I was going to ask Uncle Joe for a game of Chess. I was so concerned that I asked my mother and father for permission. I wanted to clear the decks and make sure nothing would interfere with the game. I even re-read a chapter or two of “My System”. I worked and worked on my opening moves. Just like Rocky Balboa, I wanted to go the distance. I knew I couldn't possibly beat Uncle Joe, but I knew if I could make it a game then I could go to bed satisfied that I had the makings of someone who could be like Uncle Joe.
Not long after Uncle Joe and family I arrived, I courageously asked Uncle Joe if we could play a game of chess. To my disappointment, Uncle Joe politely deferred but left the door open for sometime later in the visit. In retrospect, I don't think Uncle Joe had much interest in battling his nephew in a game of chess but I would not be deterred. I was persistent and finally, Uncle Joe acquiesced and agreed to a game. I could tell his heart was not in it but he did what favorite uncles do and enjoyed time with his nephew. Dad picked up a black and white pawn and placed them behind his back. Uncle Joe let me pick a hand and I selected the white pawn. I got to make the opening move! I opened with the traditional King's pawn opening and Uncle Joe also followed with the traditional King's pawn opening. I had survived my first move and his counter move! We had a game. A few more moves and I realized that we really did have a game! It was not going to be over in 4 moves. In fact, I had captured the first piece and Uncle Joe did not immediately counter. There is always that fear in chess that you overlook something when you capture the enemy piece and that he will make you pay dearly for your mistake. But, there was no mistake and I held the upper hand deep into the game.
I have never had a good end game in chess. For some reason, the fewer the pieces the easier it is for me to slip up and make a mistake. Uncle Joe and I had reached a point late in the game where I had a one piece advantage but I could not find the fatal move. As providence would have it, my Dad came through the dining room and observed my struggle. With Uncle Joe's permission he made a suggestion and in two moves Uncle Joe resigned. I was in shock. I had beaten Uncle Joe but it really didn't feel quite right. Why didn't I want to celebrate and glow in the victory. Deep down, I know that Uncle Joe was relieved the game was over. He did his duty as an Uncle and humored me with a game. Of course, it was Dad that figured out the winning move and in his own way reassured me that he was still the chess champion of the family. As I look back on that game, I realize that it had a perfect ending. I didn't win the game. Dad and I won the game but Uncle Joe had given me a true father and son moment. I take great satisfaction in “going the distance” but it was Dad that taught me the game of chess and it was Dad that was still teaching me when the game was finally resolved. Uncle Joe may have lost game but he added to his reputation of being cool and fun by adding patient, kind, selfless, and loving. Lessons far greater and longer lasting than the moves we made during that game.
I hope everyone who reads this has memories of their special “Uncle Joe”. He will forever live in my heart and to this day, every time I see a billboard, I still think of Uncle Joe and the verse…Smoke Coco-Cola chewing gum, Chew Wrigley's Spearmint beer…
Written by Uncle Joe's nephew, Ron Huffman with a sad heart commemorating the occasion of the passing of Uncle Joe. December 12, 2012.
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