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Antonia Mercer Obituary
MERCER, Antonia (Toni) nee Nelly Mercx On November 30th, 2006, in her 71st year, surrounded by her life partner, family and friends, Toni died peacefully after a short, spirited skirmish with pancreatic cancer. Toni immigrated to Edmonton from Holland in 1957. Having raised a family with Walter Zeritsch, she attended U of A and obtained a B.A. in Germanic Languages. Her varied working life was mostly in service to the community. She moved to Victoria in 1990 and retired in 1997 from the position of House Manager at the Victoria Women's Transition House. Toni is survived by her beloved life partner and spouse Mary Lois Alford, her family and extended family: Frank, Karen, Zoe, Anita, Monica, Don, Cassandra, Lindsay, Ted, Trudy, Marilyn, Brian, Leo, Rodney, Deanna, Jennifer, Brian, Olivia, Garrett, Mieke (Ann), Jim, Cara, Marcia, Desmond, Alex, and many cousins; the Alford family: Michael, Rita, Kathy, Dave, Steven, Matthew, Tony, Jessica, Mason, and a host of very dear friends. Predeceased by her parents Antoon and Cornelia Mercx. Toni's passing was as gentle as possible. The scheduling assistance of Donna & Lynn with friends and neighbours helped Toni & Mary Lois tremendously. Former Musaic choir members, friends and neighbours who came to sing to Toni 5 days before she died, Beacon Community Services Home Support, Snitzle Fritzle" (Eleanor Elston, R.N. of Burnside Primary Care Partnership), and our MD, David Clinton-Baker, gave wonderful support to Mary Lois and family. Per Toni's request, there will be no service. Cremation. Interment at Hatley Memorial Park will be attended by family. A gathering will be held at a later date to give the survivors and their friends an opportunity to grieve, laugh, sing, dance, whatever it takes to ease their loss. (Details to be announced.) Please, no flowers, but consider a donation to a charity of your choice. Forgive her faults and remember her blessings. Only love prevails. 321494
Memories and Condolences
for Antonia Mercer
36 Entries
Rick Leek
December 25, 2006
Mary Lois, you have my deepest and most sincere condolences,for the loss of your life partner. I know she is now the light in your heart and your soul,every morning through to the late quiet evenings. It is a good place for her to be. I have never met you or Toni but I could always tell over the years she was a good and caring woman.I took notice of the special little things she thought of and did, that proved she was a good kind soul. I am saddened that I shall never meet her.
Marg and Sandy
December 20, 2006
Toni was a compassionate, beloved friend. She entertained us with compelling stories of growing up in Europe. We could revisit these events over and over and be equally absorbed each time. We will miss her thoughtful and exuberant qualities… her life was full of fun, purpose, strength, compassion, and love for her family. Our hearts go out to you, Mary Lois, and we send you our love.
Jeanne Rioux
December 19, 2006
Hello Toni, I am sad that you have gone from this plane. I will miss the wonderful loving smile I encountered from you whenever we met. I will remember the sense of being cared about and appreciated that you always projected to me. I am honoured to have known you for as long as I did. I sincerely hope you are wonderfully happy wherever you are now. You so deserve it. My thoughts, love and hugs go out to you there. Rest in peace, kind woman and friend.
Mary Lois, I can't even begin to imagine the loss you must feel at Toni's passing, and I pray that you can take strength from having had the years with her that you did. She was such a lovely person! It was always special to meet the two of you whenever I did. I hope I will contiue to meet you around when you are feeling like being out and about again. I send my thoughts, prayers and much love and wish for ongoing love and support for you for the rest of your life.
Donna and Lynn
December 19, 2006
A visit with Toni was always a treat. She would start with a theme that clearly, she had thought about before our visit. From the theme we would go on an adventure to past memories, future 'plans' and present day observations. We're going to miss Toni's sense of humour and complex philosophical meanderings. She taught us all about acceptance and to look for the good in people. Most importantly, she taught, by example, how to love your partner unconditionally. Thanks Toni!
Mary Lois Alford
December 18, 2006
Dear Friends and Family:
I wish to thank you for writing in this Guest Book. These tributes and words of love and support are so very appreciated. I will treasure them forever.
To those of you who managed to brave the nasty weather we had in Victoria and attend the Celebration of Life for Toni, and to those who also managed to wade amongst the tree branches and other debris the next day at the Interment, I thank you for being there. And to you who were unable to attend but were present in spirit, I also extend my gratitude. No words of mine can truly express the depth of my love and appreciation for you all.
Toni was my "gentle woman", my true love, my anchor and my liberator. I know she is still with me and will help guide me till we meet again.
Toni, Ik houd van jou, Schatje.
Love,
Mary Lois
Frank Zeritsch
December 16, 2006
My Mother taught me to love words, yet now I cannot write, but I will try...
She taught me to love music, yet now I cannot sing, but I will try…
She taught me to love the future and what wonders science can bring, yet now I cannot dream, but I will try…
She taught me a quirky, eccentric humour, yet now I cannot laugh, but I will try…
Most importantly, my Mother has taught me how one can love and be loved, and be reborn into a new and beautiful life. She was a great person and it may be difficult to live all the lessons she has passed to me, but I will try…
Rest in Peace, Mom. A peace so richly deserved…
---
"You know that little problems aren’t simple
You know that little problems aren’t plain
‘Cause when you’re little boy brings his little problems to you
You know that little problems aren’t little to him"
---
jennifer & brian brendzan
December 13, 2006
In honour of our Aunt and Great Aunt Toni's love of English lit:
"The sad troops rose,
went in tears
to view the wonder.
Lifeless in the sand,
held in his rest-bed,
was the man who had
given them treasures."
-Beowolf
Tomoko Hayashida
December 10, 2006
Dear Mary Lois
I am really sorry to hear the news.
Toni was a kind and loving person.
I have a lots of fun memory of her, and I will never forget her.
May God bless you in this time of sorrow.
Scotty Carley
December 9, 2006
Mary Lois, my thoughts go with you.
"To live in the hearts of those left behind is to never die"
Joan Boire
December 9, 2006
Mary Louis, Ann and Family
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I was honored to have known Toni during her years when she lived in the Edmonton and Sherwood Park areas. She touched my life with her great sense of humor and was very welcoming to me. She was open to talk about all sorts of things which always made the conversation more interesting. After hearing the details of her passing, I can't help but feel that her life was truly celebrated and honored. What a beautiful thing for her to have experienced with her loved ones. May you all find comfort at this difficult time.
Loving thoughts,
Joan, Travis and Rachelle Boire
Mary Humphreys
December 8, 2006
My deepest sympathy to you Mary Lois and your families. It was so nice for me to see such love that the two of you shared. I'd always have a warm fuzzy feeling when I'd see Toni walking you to work. I didn't get to know Toni on a real personal level, but she always had a smile and a wave for me. Toni was a genuine, kind and gentle person. I always thought the two of you like a match made in heaven. Again, my deepest sympathy.
Love, Mary Humphreys
Rita and Michael Alford
December 6, 2006
A void in our lives! Heaven's gain! Toni's at peace - Mary Lois be comforted. All is well in the universe - just ask your God. If only we could all leave this world surrounded by so much love. The words of those who have written in this book are witness to the mark left by Toni on us all. May she rest in peace till we meet again.
Hans & Marian Pabst-Mercx
December 6, 2006
Toni,
Since your passing we look every night at the stars to connect with you as you are shining and glowing. Shine forever in peace.
Dear Mary-Lois, family and friends,
Thanks for letting us know of Toni's passing. We wish you much strenghts in your grieving time and we do hope that you all share together the amazing memory of Toni.
Melaney Black
December 5, 2006
How sad that such a spirited vibrant lover of music has left us. I will always remember Toni's gentleness and how devoted both of you were to Musaic. Bless her soul, and yours, Mary Lois. In time, may treasured memories ease your spirit.
Joan & Helen Lewin/Clayton
December 5, 2006
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. We know Toni is in a place where her love will shine through as she waits for others to join her. She was a very special lady!
Pauline & Jim Isram
December 5, 2006
Dear Mary Lois,
I am so very sorry to hear about Toni. She was such a warm, vibrant human being & you were such a lucky person to have had her in your life. My two sister-in-laws from Mauritius have never forgotten the tall,white Canadian lady they managed to sell chicken & eggs too, even though they cannot speak a word of english...I guess the outstanding "chicken impersonation" did the trick! God Bless Toni..All at Dodo Farm send our prayers to you.
Mar FitzGerald
December 5, 2006
I am so sad today to hear this news! I am thinking of you, Mary Lois, and sending all my love. I fondly remember times spent with the two of you, such as at your truly loving, inspirtational wedding, another fond memory from when I attended a seminar with Toni, Quinn and Jon in Vancouver, what a great tim!! Oh how we loved to talk about the 'other side' after seeing James Van Praag! lol I felt a true attachment to Toni as I am sure so many have too. Hugs to you. Always in my heart! Mar & family xo
Daphne Armstrong
December 5, 2006
Toni was a dear and precious friend - always full of fun, strength, integrity, humour and an incomparable love for her dear Mary Lois. We miss her daily.
Daph and Miki
Joshua Gavel
December 4, 2006
It always hurts to have to let someone you love pass. Toni will never be forgotten. We'll remember Toni for her hugs and how she made us feel cared about. We knew her for about seventeen years. We sang in choir and Josh worked with Toni in a group home. We've always known she was a special lady. Mary Lois, we send you our love.
Wishing you well,
Josh and Brian
Pat Frenette
December 4, 2006
Dear Mary-Lois,
As others have indicated in their own way, for me for the very brief time I knew Toni, it was her unhesitating welcome and her thoughtful gestures in deed or in conversation that stay with me. I shall think of you, Mary-Lois, being hopeful that the support you have always given to others, will now come to you in this time of change in your life. Bless you.
florence whitebear
December 4, 2006
Toni was the only positive influence in my life. If not for her, I would not have become the caring, resposible adult I am today. She was the mother, I never had. I will miss her greatly.
Henny Mercx
December 4, 2006
Tony,
wherever you are, we hope it's a fine place to be.
MaryLois, we wish you strength and courage to go on with fine memories of the happy period with Toni.
Henny & Willy Mercx-Jongeneel
Kirsteen Germa
December 4, 2006
Mary Lois, Toni's family and friends..
Toni was a kind and gentle person whom I met through a co worker of mine, her partner, Mary Lois.
Toni was a decent and kindly person, ill disposed to no one.
Would that all humanity were blessed with such traits this world would be a gentler place indeed.We pass this way but once
and I am glad our paths crossed
on the occasions they did.
Rest well, dear lady.
Godspeed.
wendy boman
December 3, 2006
"Tis far far more the heart can feel than the pen can write or the lip reveal"
Remembering Tony from women's camp with admiration and affection
wendy boman
Antoinette Spoor
December 3, 2006
Dear Mary Lois,
although we do not know each other, I want to offer my condolences. I met Toni years ago,on my visits to Victoria. We connected because we were both Dutch. I helped her with some translations. I am glad I had the opportunity to meet her again at camp this summer. I am so glad to hear that she passed surrounded by loving friends & family. That is truly the way one should leave this life. Go in beauty Toni, peace be with you.
Antoinette Spoor - Nanaimo
Gladys Shvetz
December 3, 2006
Mary Lois I am thinking of you now in your time of sorrow. I did not know Toni however I know this must be a very hard time for you. So sorry for your loss. Gladys.
Connie Chapman
December 3, 2006
Dear Mary Louise,
Thank you so much for sending me the notice of Toni's passing. Connecting with her again last summer at Women's Camp was a highlight of the camp for me. She came to me and told me she wanted to do a body map but didn't feel like she was creative enough. The next day she told me that she was doing one as someone had brought a canvas to her room for her. She showed it to me - only half completed - and was proud of what she had done. I hope she got to finish it. I know she touched many women at camp and elsewhere in her life. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Rocky and Dorothy Van Den Biggelaar
December 3, 2006
Words cannot express the sorrow that we feel in Toni's passing.We had only recently become reaquainted with Toni through our summer holidays at Salmon Point. It was there that we met Mary Lois and saw how happy they were. We will truly miss the visits we had with them. Toni was a wonderful spirit and will be greatly missed.
Rocky and Dorothy Van Den Biggelaar
Lois Moon and Elaine Jett
December 3, 2006
We will miss Toni's kind and gentle being. She was always so welcoming. She will be truly missed. Our hearts go out to you Mary Lois.
Lois & Elaine
Shirley Petten
December 3, 2006
Dear Mary Lois,
My heart and my thoughts go out to you. I have such fond memories of the all-too-brief moments we shared, whether it was just the three of us or if we were with many friends. I treasure the photos and the memories of your wedding day, as well as the most recent memory... Toni standing and kicking up her legs during the singing, just five days before her passing. What a WONDERFUL sight!!
In my tribute to Bev this year, I chose a quote that said: "We never forget the ones we love - their smiles are forever in our hearts". That is also very true of Toni's smile (not to mention her wicked sense of humour)... it will always be in my heart. I miss her.
Mary Lois... you gave a wonderful tribute to Toni in your e-mail and I was very touched by the story of your whimsy. I'm sure Toni approved!
Much love and many hugs, Shirley
Ed & Louise Boelee
December 3, 2006
Mary Lois, Anne, Ted, Monica & families.
Our condolences and our warmest thoughts are with you all.
All the Best
Love
Jean Stewart & Marilyn Rose
December 3, 2006
Our favorite memory of Toni is from this past summer. A slim elegant Toni beaming with pleasure that her efforts to keep slim were noted. We will remember her as a warm person and we will miss that smile. Jean & Marilyn
Marilyn Glass
December 3, 2006
Toni's life was an inspiration. Her indomitable spirit lives on in all who knew her. Toni, we will miss you greatly.
Pat Hapgood
December 3, 2006
Jack and I were very sorry to hear of Toni's death. We know you were so close and this is a very hard time for you Mary Lois. It's good Toni's family were there too as it was such a sudden death. You are in our thoughts and we hope you'll start to feel some relief before too long. Sincerely Pat and Jack
Ken Sudhues
December 3, 2006
Of the many lights that shone in Musaic, Toni Mercer was among the brightest. A real "do-er", supportive, helpful, friendly and, above all, honest and loving. Many longlasting friendships have come from my time with Musaic and I'll treasure what little time I had with Toni (and Mary Lois, of course!).
Reading Mary Lois's description of the rituals followed after Toni's departure, I got quite teary at the love, joy and reverence that those rituals demonstrated.
What more can one ask for at the end, than a dignified and loving dying. How we leave is as important as how we arrive and how we live in between.
I'd say Toni had a very good and loving death. She was blessed with that and we have all been blessed by knowing her.
Valerie & Marshall Burgess
December 3, 2006
With Toni's passing, we have lost not only a very special neighbour but a wonderful person from our midst. We are poorer as a consequence.
Be assured of our prayers for her and for her dear ones left behind.
We will miss you, Toni.
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