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Paying final respects
Slain officer remembered

Emily Bittner and Josh Kelley
The Arizona Republic
Sept. 5, 2004 12:00 AM

Officer Eric White was a man who kept his promises.

White told a partner's mother that he would always keep her son safe.

"It was a promise Eric kept because I believe Eric was and is my guardian angel," said Officer Nick Tiano, who was at a Phoenix apartment complex the night White was killed. Without White, "I, too, would not have made it away from that apartment door."

White, 30, a fourth-generation police officer, was shot to death in a gunbattle Aug. 28. The suicidal suspect, Douglas M. Tatar, killed both White and Officer Jason Wolfe, 27. Wolfe's funeral was Friday.

About 3,000 mourners from police agencies all around the state gathered Saturday morning for White's funeral at Phoenix First Assembly of God. About a dozen officers and friends praised him in eulogies that described his courage, dedication and good sense of humor.

The shooting cut cruelly short the life of an officer who performed his duties with enthusiasm, dedication and hard work, said Phoenix Police Chief Jack Harris.

Harris noted the Medal of Merit that White was awarded for saving a woman from a burning vehicle and said he died honorably in the shootout.

"We will remember Eric was courageous with his actions," Harris said. "We will remember Eric died a hero. We will forget any words of criticism . . . because they mean absolutely nothing."

Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon said he cried with White's wife, Colleen, the night of the shooting.

Gordon wrote a letter to White's children, Alexia, 5, and Connor, 3, saying he will always be there for them and describing the community's pride in their father's work.

"He was unafraid to walk through closed doors because he had promised all of us he would act with honor and valor," Gordon said.

White's friends from his days in the U.S. Marine Corps laughed about how he liked to play jokes and praised his commitment to his family.

Several officers remarked during the service how much White's sleeping son resembled his father, who loved taking naps. White was an informal leader in the Squaw Peak precinct, said Cmdr. Dave Thomas.

"He had this uncanny ability to see the field in front of him . . . and maintain his calm and poise," said Thomas, his chin trembling before he read from White's many commendations.

Thomas spoke to reassure White's family and the squads that White and Wolfe served on. "We will walk through this storm together and we will get through it and we will get through it with our heads held high," Thomas said.

As officers loaded White's casket into the hearse that brought him to Greenwood Memory Lawn Cemetery, thousands of flashing police lights lit up the church parking lot.

White's family left the church with his two children clinging to their mother's hands.

Two people held a large American flag across from the church's entrance as police cars streamed out of the parking lot. Others waved small flags, placed their hands over their hearts or gave the motorcade a thumbs up.

Hundreds lined Cave Creek Road for the procession.

Lauri Kennedy of Litchfield Park held her hand over her heart as the motorcade drove by. Outside the service she gave police a painting for the fallen officers' families that depicted the hands of God holding a police badge with an American flag in the background. Across the top the painting read: "In loving memory of," and on each side of the hands it said "Officer Eric White" and "Officer Jason Wolfe."

"Nothing that we say or do can even remotely thank them, and I just pray that God blesses all of them," Kennedy said.

Officer Charlie Steel worked in the same precinct as White and was saddened by his death.

"I can't imagine my wife being in that situation," Steel said after the funeral. "It could be you. It could be your family that's following the hearse."
Published in The Arizona Republic on Aug. 30, 2004.
Memories & Condolences
Not sure what to say?
980 entries
September 6, 2016
Semper Fidelis. God bless you, thank you for your service.
Paige Holland
November 23, 2014
Semper Fidelis Marine and I will be praying for your family.
Jeffrey Andre
October 24, 2014
Today is one of those days...missing you ALOT !!!!Doesn't help I'm listening to Van Halen <3
August 29, 2014
Semper Fi brother - you are not forgotten!
A. Garza
August 28, 2014
We love you and miss you more than words can say. Knowing you're watching over us all gives us comfort.
August 20, 2014
I still think about you at different times. You were such a good friend. I know we lost touch when you went into the military, but I still remember those fun times you and I had! I miss you buddy! God Bless your family! Until we meet again Whitey!
Lisa
August 16, 2014
BY THE GRACE OF GOD
AND A FEW MARINES..

SEMPER FI ERIC
Dutch
May 8, 2014
God Bless/RIP,to ALL who served.Thank YOU for your service,Eric.And also on the PPD."And remember,when one falls,Another brings Him Home".Semper Fi
Herb Guyer-Sharfenaker USMC
February 26, 2014
Hey sweetie, its been awhile. Today I'm having an especially hard time. There are some days that are harder than others. I know today there isn't any significance. Its not our anniversary, birthday, etc. it's just I miss you. You would think that after all these years the pain of your loss wouldn't hurt so bad but it does. Not all day every day but every now and then I just cry all day long. Okay that's an exaggeration. I cry and laugh and cry some more and then laugh and the cycle goes on. The other day I was laying in bed with my eyes closed just recalling memory after memory about you. I guess I had a huge smile on my face (which you always were able to make me laugh and smile), someone came in and asked me what I was doing, then proceeded to comment that they haven't seen me smile like that in a long time. I still don't know why your time here with us was cut so short. It isn't fair and I am really angry about it. I miss you so much, my feet are freezing since you left us. xoxo
Colleen
July 24, 2013
Happy Birthday Eric. Don't be mad about the balloon I thought it would make you smile up there. I miss that beautiful smile of yours. The way your whole face would light up and your eyes would dance. xoxo
May 18, 2013

Our Deepest Sympathy In This Time Of Loss
Detachment 1151 Marine Corps League
January 12, 2013
I just ran across the story of how Eric passed. I am also touched by your letters to him on this site. I have never.had the.privledge to meet either of you but want you to know I hold you up in prayer. My deepest sympathy....he is a hero forever
leslie fredrikson
June 14, 2012
god be with you .dusty mills landis fire
dusty mills
May 4, 2012
Hey babe, I guess you have another person you know with you now. Hope you were there to welcome Paul. It's hard for those you leave behind especially when it's unexpected. I love you and miss you very much. I like knowing you're there that you haven't left us so keep sending me our songs.
April 20, 2012
I don't know to much of the story. But from what i read im sorry for what happened...
Niesha Lenard
February 8, 2012
Just missing you alot.
November 23, 2011
Hey Sweetheart. Another year another holiday without you. Yesterday I was watching a movie and the actor had the same lips as you. (The actor also had abs that you would've loved to have but we wont talk about that.)It's the little everyday things that remind me of you Eric. One of your best friends is getting married soon. I know you would've wanted to do something BIG. I just don't know what. I feel like I should do something, something that you would've done. I don't know babe. I'm not you. Even on my best day I wouldn't have measured up to you on your worst. You made everything so easy. I wish I was more like you. So easy going, going with the flow. I miss you and I always will. Eric I need your help everyday. I know you have "given me my space" to grow and heal. What you don't get is I will always need you. I'm not sure what you are up to these days. I want you to know that you are not forgotten. I think of you all the time. I have What would Eric do moments every day. Love you.
August 30, 2011
Semper Fi Brother, you will not be forgotten!
A. Garza
August 28, 2011
I can't believe it has been seven years since you left us. The pain of losing you is as intense now as it was when they knocked on our door. I don't know why you had to leave us so soon. I know that I was blessed for the little time I had with you. You really brought out the best in others. I love you Eric very very much. You are missed.
July 24, 2011
Happy Birthday Baby. You would've been 37 today. I know I am older. "Robbing the cradle" your dad used to say. Eric we didn't celebrate your birthday the way you would've liked. The kids no longer like going to Hooters. So I'm sorry I didn't take them. I miss you Eric. Some days your son looks just like you. Some of the things he does and says, I swear I am looking at a younger you. Thank you Eric for picking me. Happy Birthday Sweetheart. Love you forever.
April 23, 2011
Eric time keeps passing and I think it's another birthday or another holiday you are missing. I don't know if you are still around. I certaintly don't feel your presence anymore, if you are. I just wanted to let you know that each and everyday I think of you. I think of what you'd be doing if you were. Time keeps going...without you...I miss you...love you forever
April 15, 2011
Semper Fi Brother,
MAny of us went the same way of USMC to law enforcement to better ourself and families. You will forever remembered in many way of countless people.
Valhalla awaits as you pass the golden gates "Semper Fi Mac" the MArine at the gates says as he greets you.
3/7 - Stamford Ct. PD
April 7, 2011
Trooper Matthew Conway
February 3, 2011
Holding you in our hearts forever.
August 30, 2010
Semper Fi Brother, you will never be forgotten!
A Garza
August 28, 2010
Eric, we love you and miss you daily! You are never forgotten! RIP! Thank you for watching over your family.
Andrea Welsh
August 24, 2010
Praying for your family
August 23, 2010
You will never be forgotten
August 2, 2010
You are in my thoughts all the time. You are in my heart and in my soul.
May 10, 2010
I love you Eric
February 8, 2010
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

Eric 5 1/2 years later, your sacrafice has NOT been forgotten & will never be forgotten. You gave your life protecting strangers, your legacy is eternal.


To Colleen: To say you are an AMAZING woman would be a complete understatement. Colleen, I know you live this loss every second of every day and will for the rest of your life. Please, know that soooooo many people who don't know you & never will, pray for you regularly. Please know that Eric is not forgotten & won't be forgotten. We as citizens lost a Hero that fateful day, while you & your two beautiful children lost your world...

I know Eric has been there watching over you three over the past several years & is probably in AWE of you & how you have fought to keep going. Eric had the amazing blessing of being loved by a very special woman. A woman whose love has never waived even in death.

Colleen, Eric is now an angel and YOU are a HERO!!! You are Eric's HERO for being the best Mother for the babies he left behind...You are your childrens HERO for being an amazing mother who keeps their Daddy's spirit alive in them and you are MY HERO...

God Bless you Colleen and thank you...
January 18, 2010
The choice was not his, it was His.
As some point in all of our lives, our time on Earth will expire. For most of us, we know not the day, the time, or the hour. Absolutely Eric is there.
Each time you hear a song and think of him, he is there. When you go to the case of letters and recall, he is there. When you smile as you think of one of his jokes, he is there.
He is with you every second of each day. Only now, he knows that we know he remains with us, but would like for us to focus on our lives. And, of course his is watching the wrestling meets. How else do you think Connor can get out of those tight holds and pin his opponent? Yes, it with his practice and training, but also with help from above, Eric.
January 17, 2010
I was going through the case of letters and cards that we kept. I am so glad that we kept them. Sometimes I start doubting your love for me. I know it wasn't your fault that you were killed...it is just that I sometimes feel that if you loved us you wouldn't have left us. I know it doesn't make sense. It is just my insecurities. everyone of those letters and cards remind me of the love that we shared. It seems like you left us so long ago. You promised me that we would grow old together...you lied to me...you broke your promise. Eric you were a man of your word. Why didn't God let you keep that one?? Ask him for me. I have so many issues now babe. I feel like everyone isn't going to keep their promises and I am extremely insecure about most things in my life now. Why do I get more screwed up as time goes on? Thought people get stronger...not weaker?? where are you honey? can you still see us? Are you there when Connor wins his wrestling meet? Are you watching over us, protecting us?? or have you moved on? I am so confused. I miss you so much Eric.
November 30, 2009
Dear Eric,
Thinking of you today and every day. We all miss you. Love, Aunt Pat
October 27, 2009
"Although removed from this world, their sacrifice will long remain a part of our lives. Their watchful presence will continue to protect us each hour of each day. Silence will never dissolve their memory."

quoted from a speaker at the 2009 National Police Memorial in Washington, D.C.
August 29, 2009
You will never be forgotten,
Semper Fi, Brother.
April
August 28, 2009
Dear Eric
Your spirit will be remembered forever-we all miss you and will never forget
what a wonderful man you were. God
bless your family.
Love, Nana
Angie
August 28, 2009
Eric I dread this day every year. Not like a need an anniversary date to remember you or how you left us. I remember every detail of the last day we spent together before my brother called me and told me something happened. After that I tried to get ahold of you. Then when I called the station I immediately knew that something was not right....after that everything became blurred. On your anniversary date I don't want to focus on how you died. I want to celebrate your life. Eric you made people around you better people. You made us smile and laugh more. You made us see that there was good in this world. connor still says, "if there was fun to be had my daddy would find it." I love you babe. You will never, ever be forgotten!!!!When it's my time to go you better be there waiting for me. No practical jokes on me!! Love and miss you everyday.
Colleen White
August 25, 2009
Colleen I dont know you but I served with Eric in Hawaii and I have to say, any man would be extremely proud and happy to know the wife he left loved him so much she would spill her heart out in these entries and understands there is a life past this one. It must be insanely lonely and rough as I can ONLY try to imagine losing a spose. I am married with 3 kids and one on the way and it is very frightening knowing we can leave at any time. Just know he is in a better place although rough to imagine a better place than with his loved ones. I teared reading some of your entries and I really really feel for you. Tell Eric Steve Karsten said high.
Steven Karsten
August 25, 2009
Man White this is Stevo from Golf 2/3 we werent real close while in the Marines but I remember you clearly and how goofy you liked to act man. No one could imagine leaving like you had to but we know your in a much better place. Maybe your communicating to all you knew some how? It affects my thoughts having known you and now knowing this happened to you. Its really crazy. Brother say hi to Jones and Jesus for me. Just relax now. I'm sure people are in true care of your family down here. See you some day.
Steven Karsten
July 15, 2009
Happy Anniversary babe. A day doesn't go by that you are not missed. Until the day we can be together again...
I love you!!!! @--->--
Colleen White
June 27, 2009
Hi honey. I have written in here many times but they never get posted. Like always you are in my thoughts. Lately I have been sadder than usual. I know your birthday and the anniversary of your death is approaching. It is always worse during that time. I am back visiting my parents. Today was Pauls 40th surprise party. I haven't felt you around in awhile but I felt you there. It wasn't the same as you being here in the flesh. It was nice to feel your presence. How have I missed you. Chach was there and we travelled down memory lane of our time in Hawaii. Those were some of the best memories of my life. We had so much fun in Hawaii. I laugh so hard I end up crying. It makes me so happy on one hand but on the other it makes me wish I could go back in time. Change our course. Change where we moved to after you got out. Maybe then you would still be with us. How I wish I could have you back. The kids need you Eric. The kids need a dad, their dad. I try my best babe, it's just not even close. I miss you so much Eric. Hope you know how much you impacted my life and those who knew you. You are always in my thoughts. If you can, can you give me some help and guidance from time to time? I certainly need all the help I can get. Miss you Whitey.
Colleen White
May 1, 2009
Whitey my friend you are missed. Over the years I have told so many stories to friends about Chach pulling the "squirrel" out from under the mustang, about the best Thanksgiving ever at you and Colleen's apartment and the many other good times we shared. I was so looking forward to telling you about my adventures over the past years since we met up in Phoenix.
My life is better for having known you Whitey.
Gavan
Jason Gavan
February 7, 2009
Hey Eric. A day doesn't go by that you are not in my thoughts. I miss you so much. Time might have passed but the pain of losing you is still there. I wish I was half the person you were. You continue to inspire me to try and be the best person I can be. Your spirit lives on Eric.
friend
December 26, 2008
Eric you are never forgotten..You live on in our hearts. We love you so much.
December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas Eric! love and miss you all the time.
Chad white
August 28, 2008
Many of us, your family and friends, think of you daily, if not more often, and appreciate you coming to us in the silence of our nights, or the chaos of our days, to be with us.
As these pages show, you, are in a place where we will be with you again, but for now, will never,.....never be forgotten.
August 28, 2008
Four years is a long time Eric - I want you to know that you are not forgotten. I miss your friendship a great deal - your wife is such a strong woman she is an inspiration to all of us. Semper Fi Brother.
A. Garza
August 27, 2008
Eric, I cant believe its been four years that youve been gone. while I try to honor your memory by living a life that would make you proud please know that you are deeply missed everyday. I know you are with us all everyday and that eases the pain of losing you. Keep watching over our family, we all need you!
Love your brother,
Chad
Chad white
August 25, 2008
Hey honey.... there isn't a day that I don't think of you. I miss you very much. Actually I miss everything about you. I hope that you look down from heaven and that I make you proud of me. I know I mess up...it's hard doing everything without you. I do my best babe. I love you, forever.
Colleen White
August 13, 2008
Dear Whitey,

I was just doing a search looking for old Marine buddies and I found the article of you. Man, 13 yrs I waited to look you up becase I was too "busy". I'm sorry! I'll never forget the times we shared in the corps! This facial expression of you I dont remember...the Whitey I knew smiled and laughed 24/7. I'll pray for your family. From one Illini to another!

Ron "JD" Newman
Ron Newman
July 15, 2008
Thank you for loving me.
Colleen White
July 11, 2008
Eric-
I want to thank you for inspiring me to follow the family tradition of being a cop. I decided in November of 2007 that I was going to test for departments and I got hired by Minooka Police Department in February of 2008. I am currently at the Police Training Institute in Champaign, IL. And am told that this is one of the best training schools for cops in the nation. There have been MANY times here I that I know you have helped me and I've asked for your support and inspiration in times of need here. I questioned my ability here in the beginning, but then I hit the turning point where it all made sense and I began to sharpen my senses and my skills. I wanted to let you know the coincidence of my badge number being #724 and your badge number. I met someone here that knew you out in Arizona, he worked for the DOC there, and said that you were a fantastic level headed guy! I appreciate your guidance every day that I hit my struggles, I take a deep breath in situations where I am stuck and all of a sudden the answer comes to me, Thank you. I will forever know the meaning of "In Valor There Is HOPE!" I am now part of the family, and I know you are proud of me!
Andrea White
July 9, 2008
Hey Babe..it's been awhile since I wrote in here. In a few weeks you would have been 34. I know I am still older. Not that it mattered much you still wouldn't listen to me, your elder. I can hear your dad saying I like robbing the cradle. We both know you were much wiser for your age. You had an old soul, very, very wise Mr. White. Wow, next week would have been our 12th anniversary. I always thought that we were that couple...the ones that stand the test of time. The couple that stays together threw thick and thin, we would have been that couple Eric. The kids and I are visiting my parents. I stopped last night on the way back from the beach to get fried clams. While waiting for my order Roberto called. Funny timing..anyway we were chatting and I looked over at the specials board and I saw Lobsters listed and I thought back to the first time you came out here to meet my parents. Little did they know that they were meeting their son in law. Oops maybe we should have told them that we were married...I remember when we went to the Venus and my dad suggested you order the three pound baked stuffed lobster. When they ever brought that out your eyes almosted popped out of your head. That sucker was huge. I remember you said, " What is this a teradactle?" In your newly forming East Coast accent. You can still make me smile honey. You would be happy to know that there is a new slide at the Yacht Club as well. I know how much you didn't like the other one. Well the kids and I will be in Illinois again this year over your birthday. Your parents are having a family reunion. No offense but I really don't like going to your family reunioins. There are so many people and I can't remember everyones name. I try and keep your brother close by for back up or atleast a great resource. The kids are looking forward to playing in the creek and eating your moms delicious cooking. As you know things have been better for me. I still struggle from time to time so I appreciate all the help you send me. Thank you honey for your most recent visit. I really, really needed that. I know that is what you have wanted for me since the day you left us. You know how stubborn I can be though. Somethings take longer than others. I am glad that you are taking good care of Maddie and Bailey. I love and miss you so much.
July 7, 2008
Hey Eric,

It has been a long time since I have written in this book, but I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I think partly it has to do with the officer who was recently slain in Chicago, but it may also be because I know that you and Colleen's anniversary is coming up soon. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for saying "Hi" to me on the highway yesterday. I don't know why you chose semi-trucks to be your thing to say hi to me, but maybe it's the "south of 80" in us! : ) I miss you so much still and think of you often. As I always request, please keep a close eye on Colleen and the kids because they are the ones who really need you the most.

Love you,

Your cuz
Amanda Welsh
April 3, 2008
Mrs. White,

As a few people have already stated, I found this page by accident and the messages truly touched my heart. Your messages to your husband remind us all to savor our lives with our loved ones and to treasure every minute with them as though it is our last.

Thank you.
Andrew R
February 3, 2008
In valor there is hope.
-Tacitus
January 1, 2008
Happy New Year to you and your family.
December 7, 2007
Hi babe. Well we are back from our trip. I had a hard time leaving. Reminising about us and the wonderful memories we shared in Hawaii were hard to leave again. I thought I remembered everything but it became evident of how much came back to me while I was there. I guess I didnt remember everything like I thought.The kids loved hearing about all the stories. I think their favorite was the one about the Hard Rock Cafe and you having to drive there. When they saw how close we lived, they thought it was funny. Oh how you had to hand the valet that long screwdriver. I wish I knew where that screwdriver is. I'd have it framed. Well the kids and I decorated the house...finally. Our old neighbor Joe took the decorations down for me this year. I guess last year when I got pinned under your motorcycle or when I fell off the ladder and tore my rotator cuff caused our friends to keep an extra eye on me. You'd be happy to know that I gave our old tree to Amber. I was frustrated with the lights. Not like you would help me put up the lights. You would just laugh at me. You can't laugh at me anymore about that at least.I bought a pre-light tree. It's not as big as our old one but it's still nice. I'm sure I still give you a ton of other reasons to laugh and make fun of me. I miss you babe so much. Well sweetie keep an eye on us and keep showing us signs. We need to know that you'll always be here with us.
Love you. CHEWY forever
C White
November 27, 2007
Colleen;
You are my new angel.
Melissa
November 25, 2007
Hi Sweetheart. I finally did it. I took the kids to Hawaii like you promised them. I know you know how hard that was for me. I am glad I came. It's been hard but also wonderful to remember all the great times we had here. Whenever I tell the kids a story I keep calling you Whitey. Somethings are hard to change. I'm sorry I didn't log on to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. You know I thought about you all day like I do everyday. I remember the last Thansgiving we spent in Hawaii. When we cooked at the apartment in Waikiki. How many of our friends did we have over? Atleast 50 if not more. I was so afraid we would run out of food. We didn't. Remember how you went for a ride that morning on the motorcycle and came back with a huge plant for me in your magic backpack. Or how we went to 7-11 for gravy and I ended up making up plates of food to feed the homeless.Youwere so embarressed that your friends kept making fun of you. I think it was hard for you because you were at the blunt of the jokes and not the one dishing it out. Remember the year Chachi and Kerry made Thansgiving dinner at Kerry's. Chachi burnt the turkey and we all ended up having a Wild Turkey liquid dinner, except for me who got drunk off of my chocolate truffle dessert. I put way too much alcohol in the recipe by mistake. I remember that night on the way home you wanted to go swimming at Ewa Beach. We had no suits or towels but you didn't care. I remember all the fun times we had in Hawaii. I showed the kids where I first told you that I love you. In a way I was mad that you didn't say it back. We both knew that you did, you just wouldn't say it. I told the kids that later that night while I was out with my friends you went to my apartment and put the dalmation stuffed animal through my window. It said I love you on it. How you wrote on the back C.H. + E.W. but the way you wrote it looked like you were telling me the dog chewed the heart. That is how we, you and me became chewy. I had to explain to the kids that so when they are older and read our love letters we sent back and forth while you were away, they'd understand what chewy forever means. Well honey the animals are getting hungry, I love you so much Eric. I am so lucky to have had you in my life. That you loved me too.
Colleen White
November 10, 2007
Mrs. White~ Although it has been over 3 years since I last signed this guest book, I wanted you to know your husband and family have not been forgotten. You are an ABSOLUTELY AMAZING woman. The dedication and love you have continued to express to your late husband is not only heartwarming, but heartbreaking as well. There should be no doubt in Eric's mind that he is loved and missed tremendously. Your children are so very lucky to have such a strong and wonderful mother to take care of them and to keep their father's memory so alive. Please know that you and your children are in the thoughts and prayers of many, mine included. God bless you all.
Tammie
October 31, 2007
Happy Halloween honey. I wish you were here to take the kids trick or treating. We love and miss you Eric.
Colleen White
October 28, 2007
Eric,
We spent a few days with your cousin, his family and your god parents. Sam still gives me a hard time. I guess some things never change. He took my car keys so I couldn't leave. I'm glad that we stayed over. Of course we were talking about you. I find so much comfort talking about you, us and our memories. There are so many funny stories. It made me realize how truely lucky I was that you chose me to share your life with. They were reminising about how far I've come since the first time I was exposed to the Cowboy way until now. I still have so much to learn. Next month we were invited to the ranch for a good ole fashion branding. I'll try my best not to embarrass you. I promise I'll be on my best behavoir. On our way home from the ranch I stopped to see this incredibly long snake slithering across the road. It was so long. I know if you were there you would have pick it up and chased me with it. Remember the time we were out in the 6 wheeler and you chased the Hilo monster. It even hissed at you. Eric I miss you so much. I don't know why but every time I go up north I get so sad. I feel you with us but its almost like I can feel your sadness too. You know some days I think I'm doing ok. It's like three steps forward and two steps back. Other days I can't imagine another year passing without you. I have to believe that you are watching over us. I love you Eric so much. Until we can be together again...
Colleen White
October 14, 2007
Colleen I know this book is for Eric however I did not know him but I do know you so this is for you. You are an amazing woman, your speech gives us all a little more strength to go on everyday, triumph over tradgedy. You held my son at Camp Paz and I will always thank you for that. Know that you have support and we will help you everyday taking those stepping stones.
Helen Eslick
October 13, 2007
Hi honey. I'm sorry it's been so long since I wrote to you. You have given us so many signs lately that I haven't had the need to come on here. I'm writing for a little bit of help from "above". Yep I'm asking for your help again. Tomorrow I have to give a speech about us and how your death has impacted us. The kicker is I only have about 5 minutes to talk. I could talk about you Eric for hours. Please be there with me tomorrow to get me through that speech. I know you would've loved to speak at something like that. I prefer to just blend in.
I know you used to tell me that I was your better half and that I completed you. I think the opposite was true. You were definetely my better half and you completed me. These past three years I have been so lost without you. I put on my mask that everyone wants to see and I go on. You know what Eric, somedays I don't want to wear that mask and keep pretending that life is ok. It isn't.You made everything all better. You had this special way to do everything. You brought the fun element and humor into everything that you did. I miss you so much babe. I know you know that though. I just wanted to tell you again.
I will love you forever.
C White
September 20, 2007
HEY YOU,
YEAH, WE JUST LOST ANOTHER ONE. YOU KNOW, WHILE I WAS AT THE SCENE, I FELT THIS EMPTYNESS ALL OVER AGAIN, LIKE WHEN I SAW YOU ON THAT TABLE THAT NIGHT. I'M MISSING YOU MORE AND MORE. GIVE GOD A HUG FOR ME
JOANN
September 19, 2007
Eric-- I have been blessed to meet your wife and children. They truely miss you and loved you dearly. You have an amazing wife who doesn't give herself NEARLY enough credit.
GM
September 14, 2007
My prayers are with your family may you find comfort in knowing he will be remembered. Those who choose to be police officers and put their life on the line for others are truly special people
Kim Weldon
August 30, 2007
Eric,
It has been a short three years since you've been gone. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't think of you, but I am sure that you know that. Thank you for keeping us strong and serving us from above. Love you and miss you Eric.
Andrea cousin
August 30, 2007
Hi honey. I went to the cemetary yesterday. I know why the kids don't like going there. I don't either. You don't belong there you belong here on Earth with us. I noticed that Chico stopped by to see you. He left you a few patches. I took one so when the one thats there gets weathered I'll replace it with the other one he left. You have such wonderful friends. I'm very thankful for that. After the cemetary I don't know why but I went to the appartment complex. I stood outside of 267 for the longest time. I don't know what I was doing. I guess I wanted it not to be real. That it was just a bad dream. It wasn't. It was real. We went to Hooters last night to celebrate your life. Not to focus how you died but how you lived. What better place to go than your favorite restaurant. Hooters. Hooters makes you happy, happy , happy hooters. It just wasn't the same without you. I remember we went to Hooters on your actual 30th birthday because thats where you wanted to go. I still wish you let me tell them that it was your birthday. I remember how you threatened me with bodily harm if I breathed a word to them about it. Roberto told us about the day you two stopped there after court and you got 50% off your meal because you still had your badge and gun on your side. I remember how excited you were to learn that you would get such a big discount if you only put your badge on your hip. I could see the wheels turning in your head. Tonight Robert made us dinner and a few of your friends came over to eat. It made me sad to have everyone here and not you. You should be here with us Eric. I'm angry babe. Its been three years and you're not coming back. I want you back Eric so bad. I want to laugh so hard my face hurts. I want to hear you call me poopie pants and for you to tell me to go change my diaper. I want you to play with all the instruments in the doctors office and when something doesn't stop beeping you blame me. I want to feel your strong arms around me so I can feel safe and know everything is going to be ok. When both the kids have practise for their sports in two different areas. I want to count on you to be there for one of them, but I can't. You can't and that makes me mad. I want you to come home. I miss you Eric so much.
August 29, 2007
Hey Bud,
I didn't forget yesterday, I just wanted the day to be over. Miss you more than ever. I'm realizing more and more everday that you were a true friend. Not only in the department but outside as well. You knew exactly what to say when things weren't going well, and I miss that. Just wish you were still here.
JoAnn
August 29, 2007
Semper Fi Brother, you are not forgotten.
April
August 28, 2007
Dear Eric,
Another year has passed. Just wanted you to know that we think and talk of you often. We know that you are still watching out for us. Dropping us your little hints now and then, just when we need them. Saw Colleen, L & C recently. The kids are growing up. They are beautiful ( yes, C, too). C looks just like you. Walks with purpose and has that little gleam in his eyes of mischief. Wonder where he got that. L is such a little lady. Colleen is such a good mother. You picked a good one there, honey. We love you and miss you more than words can say. Keep us safe, Eric, we all still need you.
Aunt Pat
August 25, 2007
Hey honey. Me and the kids miss you so much. Thank you for sending Sal and his family to us this week and especially today. As well as Martins kids. You knew that today was going to be a hard day for me. Even now you still have a hand in taking care of me. Thank you sweetheart. I love you. With everyone around today we were so busy it made the day go by quickly. I only looked at my watch about a dozen times rather than constantly like I did the past two years. I don't know why we went all the way into Scottsdale today but we had a great time. C and I had an opportunity to be alone for a few minutes. C was reminising about all the times we went there with you. About all of the things he remembered doing with you. I told C that one of my favorite pictures of you two was taken at that park. He knew exactly what photo I was talking about. I could still close my eyes and picture you ever so carefully fixing the kids choo choo hats before the train was going to take off. How Id make all of you smile over and over for pictures, until none of you smiled anymore. I miss you babe so much. Life now is as good as it can be without you. It would just be so much better with you here. Thank you Eric for blessing us in so many ways. I am so sorry for telling you, you didn't love us because you died and left. You show us everyday in little ways how much you did and still do love us. I just wish you didn't walk out that door that Saturday afternoon. I still hear your voice in my head the last noise you made to L right as you were leaving. How I wish you stayed home. I often blame myself for not asking you to stay home that night. Anything to bring you back. Oh how I would have changed places with you if I could. I love you Eric and I always will.
Colleen White
August 17, 2007
Eric, Please take care of my brother officer Jonathan Stuart who passed away saturday. I know he cried so much at yours and wolfes funeral, and he knew you guys well. Now you guys are together. Take care of him, and tell him i love him.
Officer Stuart/ Brother
Brandon Stuart
August 11, 2007
hey babe. i love you
August 9, 2007
HEY YOU
WENT TO SEE YOU THIS MORNING. IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT IT'S CLOSE TO 3 YEARS AGO THAT WE LOST YOU. I MISS TALKING TO YOU ABOUT THE BS WE GO THROUGH AT WORK. WISH YOU WERE STILL HERE. ALWAYS KNOW THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.. LUV YA
JOANN
August 3, 2007
Hey sweetheart. I just got back from Officer George Cortez's wake. Another officer killed in the kine of duty. I was hoping that you and Jason would be the last officers killed in Phoenix. I was wrong. Do other people realize how devasting death is to family and friends left behind? Why do these bad people do this? Why? How would those bad people feel if they were in our shoes? Our lives will never be the same. EVER! I look at the kids. They have grown so much and I think of all the things and events that you weren't here for. I wonder when L gets older will she chose an older man because she was lacking a father figure? Who will walk L down the aisle when she meets the one? Who should be helping his children learn how to ride bikes without training wheels and throw the football around with his son? That was suppose to be you Eric. You were the best dad, that I ever knew. I used to watch you with the kids and say to myself how truely lucky I was that you were the man I married. The kids had the best dad ever. It wasn't long enough for me. I love you Eric and I always will. Remember chewy forever!
C White
July 31, 2007
Colleen -
As the wife of a Phoenix officer my heart broke for you the day you lost your husband. You received the news none of us want to get - your life changes forever.
My immediate thought upon hearing the news of an Officer's death has always been "how will the family go on?", "how do you go on?". I guess the answer is you do because you have to and that is what your loved one would want.
I did not know the guest books stayed active after a certain time. I happened upon this by accident. I have to admit that I did read some of your posts then stopped as it felt like an invasion of your privacy.
Please know that you, your children and your husband have never been forgotten.
Those of us that pray for our spouse's safety on a daily basis also pray for those who have suddenly, tragically lost their loved ones in the line of duty.
I'm sure the events of the past week brings back an overwhelming flood of emotion. Hopefully, you will feel the support of those of us who are not only thinking about and praying for Officer Cortez's family but of you and your family.
I hope your children's eyes sparkle again and that you continue to find comfort in the wonderful memories, stories and pictures of your love.
c. a.
July 25, 2007
Colleen,
I, too was searching on the internet for a long lost friend and somehow this guestbook popped up in the search. I'm not sure why. I've read each entry, and Ken Reynolds name doesn't seem to be in it. However, I did find one thing. I found an appreciation of my family and friends. How blessed you were to have such a true love! Your entries are blessing people you've never even met. I pray that God will heal your and your children's hearts and grant you peace.

God's blessing on you sweet lady!
Angie Turner
July 24, 2007
Happy Birthday, Eric! I can't wait to see Colleen and the kids today to celebrate your b-day. I miss you and think of you often. As per my usual request to you, keep a close eye on the fam. Love you.
Amanda Welsh
July 17, 2007
Happy anniversary to both of you.
Diane
July 15, 2007
Happy Anniversary honey. It would have been 11 years. I remember the last anniversary we spent together, we were lying in bed and you said I can't believe we have been together this long. You said it feels like yesterday when we were married. Then you started stumbling over what you said because you were worried that I would take what you said the wrong way. I wanted us to grow old together babe. Wasn't that what we talked about? That was the plan. Why did you have to change that? I really miss you Eric. The way you made the house smell with grass clippings, the way you snore louder than the dog, the way you would race the kids to the corner or the way you'd drive the kids up and down the street on the lawnmower, doing donuts on the front lawn, the dead pigeons you'd put on my windshield, the flowers you'd get me just because, the way I knew you were getting up for the day or going back to sleep, the way you'd hit the house backing up the trailer because you refuse to hang up w Roberto, the way your smile would light up a room, the way you'd make me laugh so hard my cheeks would hurt, the way you would support me in whatever crazy idea I'd have, the way I felt so safe when you'd wrap your arms around me, just the way you loved me and the kids. Eric honey I miss every little about you. (even your flat feet and the freckle on your ear that made it look like it was pierced.)
Happy Anniversary my love. I love you AAAAALLLLLLLOOOOOTTTTTTT!
c white
July 7, 2007
Colleen;
Your entries have touched my heart. I realize how truly blessed I am with everything. I can't even imagine going through what you are. You don't know me, but Colleen....because of you - you are my new hero.
Love,
Melissa
July 4, 2007
Hi Eric. Happy Fourth of July. I remember our last fourth together. L was in a the dance thing at the stadium. You couldn't get the night off but your sergeant let you come in late. You wore your uniform. I loved looking at you when you were in uniform. You gave me butterflies. People kept coming up to you giving you water, and free stuff. L was so happy that you were there she wasn't even dancing just smiling and waving at daddy. It saddens me that I have never seen her light up the way she would light up when she saw you. Remember when you said to me, "hey babe do you want some water I can hook you up?" You were teasing me because everyone was catering to you. I am grateful for the picture I took of you and the kids that day. I only wish I was in it too instead of always the one behind the camera. We recently met someone on the plane on our way home. C was so proud of that picture he made me turn on my phone to show the people your special photo. Of course the stewardess was walking by and I got in trouble for having my phone on. We love you Eric.
June 26, 2007
Hey sweetheart. It's been awhile since I wrote to you. It's not that I haven't thought of you. You know that I think of you all the time. I've been stuck in my grief for awhile. I finally found a great therapist. She has helped me so much. She says its ok to start living again. You know I'm hardheaded about that. You always wanted me to be happy. The kids remember your quote verbadum. "If moms happy the house is happy." I want to thank you for taking care of the mouse problem. I also want to thank ypu for helping me find those keys I lost. My mom kept saying that I just needed to change the batteries in the smoke detector. She couldn't tell me why the smoke detector didn't beep before I asked for help and it stopped beeping right after I found the keys. I know you are probably chuckling when other people call me crazy or loopie. The other day I actually saw a license plate that said fruitloop. When I saw it it made me smile. I'll always be your fruitloop. I love and miss you Eric. I know you are still around, I have to believe that. I can't imagine you not seeing the kids grow up. I know you would be beaming saying, "Yep those are my kids, aren't they great?" I know you would be so proud of them. I know I am.
Colleen White
June 23, 2007
I was new to the department when Officer White and Officer Wolfe sacrificed their lives...but I'll never forget that day I came into briefing and was told that there was a terrible incident in squaw peak. Although I did not know Eric or Jason personally, I've heard tremendous stories of their courage and character. Though years have passed and we're reminded that life is short; it is not without Eric and Jason's strength and devotion that we're able to move through life with purpose. Their memory is life lasting...their courage is to be envied...their sacrifice is ultimate! It is too often that we do take our loved ones for granted but, it is never without meaning when they leave us!

Colleen and family, my thoughts and prayers are with you...may you always feel the love and support of your friends and family.
Lynnette
June 18, 2007
Colleen, I was looking for someone I knew today, and came across this guest book; your words saddened me greatly. It IS far too often that we take what we have for granted, and I wanted to let you know my thoughts and prayers are with you. Although I did not know Eric, his loss is felt, and I thank you for your words to help remind me.
Sean Corcoran
May 13, 2007
Hi babe. I just logged on the computer to check my emails. I noticed that there were articles on the soldiers fighting for our freedom in Iraq. I remember after 9-11 how you wanted to go over there and fight for us. I remember you telling me if it wasn't for the kids and I you would be there. You said you just couldn't do that now because it was just too dangerous. You had too much to lose. "Who was going to take care of us if you were killed?" you said. I was reading these articles and I was heart broken to learn that many soldiers make it back home alive but soon after take their own lives because of the all they endured in war. It is sad to me that everyone goes through their routines everyday and not giving thoughts to other peoples pain. I want to help people honey. Whenever I think of how I can help someone else I get overwhelmed with how. Today was Mother's Day and I am so sorry I let you down. It seems that I'm doing that alot. I forgot to send my mom and your mom anything. Not even a card. I know if you were here you wouldn't have let me forget. I wanted to tell your mom how thankful I am that she raised an incredible son. Eric, honey I know you are around us, you might not always let us know you are there but I know you are.I'm asking for your help. Please give me the nudge I need to get my head out of my butt from time to time. I used to call it slapping the reality into me. You were great at putting me in my place. Of course in your wonderful Eric way. I think I'm doing better with the grass At least it's green this summer. Eric I love you very much. Thank you for loving me and for making me a better person. I still think I need lot of your help inthat area though. I miss you sweet heart. If you could send down some divine intervention, could you please get rid of the mouse for me?
Colleen White
May 11, 2007
Your journey was not in vain, warrior. Godspeed.
Ofc. Steven Jewell (Phoenix PD #8570)
April 14, 2007
I Love you Eric
April 10, 2007
Hi honey. Did you get the balloon your big guy sent you today? His counselor thought it would be a good idea. He was so happy watching it climb up into the sky, hoping that it would reach to you then all of a sudden it was gone. I know he wanted to write you so much more. Sometimes he gets embarrassed because he can't spell all the words he wants to write to you. He's afraid to ask for help. I wonder who he takes after there. Your presence was definetely missed this weekend. Nothing is the same without you. Life is just not as fun or entertaining. If you can babe you really need to visit the kids more in their dreams. They have these deep sad eyes, their sparkle is gone. Come and play with them in their dreams. They miss you almost as much as I do and that's aaaaallllooootttt!You always said you'd be there if we need you. Well honey we always will.
C White
April 9, 2007
Happy Easter, Eric. You are missed!

Colleen,
You and your children are always in my thoughts.
April 5, 2007
Hi honey,
We missed you yesterday more... you know why. I sent balloons from you I know if you could you would have sent them yourself. I also bought flowers. They weren't as nice as the ones you used to pick out. You were so good at that. I hope we feel your presence this weekend. We love you so much.
Colleen White
April 3, 2007
Hi babe. I've been missing you alot, not like its any different than any other time. I've just been crying alot more lately. I know you hated to be around me when I was "emotional". I think you just thought it was "that time" again. Nope babe not this time. Just longing to be with you. Missing you wrap your arms around me, making me feel loved and protected. You know Eric some days I feel like I'm progressing through this thing called grief. I take one step forward and then take ten steps back. If I start twitching you'd think I was doing my old dance moves. I miss you teasing me about how bad I dance. And I thought i was pretty good. I wonder what your doing up there in heaven. I want to think your up there watching us. You know Easter is coming up. I remember the year you went to Vegas to meet up with your buddies from the Marines. You were looking forward to that trip for so long. How long did you stay away from us a day and a half. You left so quickly you left half your stuff there. Roberto had to send it back to you. I'm sorry that i lost that bracelet you gave me. I was so sad. I looked everywhere for it. I love you and miss you so much. I love you more....
Colleen white
March 14, 2007
Just want you to know you are not forgotten
Dee
March 13, 2007
I miss you man. I miss 735I.
Nick Tiano
February 25, 2007
Dearest Eric and Family!
Just wanted to put the word out that I just became certified in Law Enforcement Fitness, and met some wonderful police officers along the way. I got asked to join the POLICE UNITY BIKE RIDE for NLEOMF during police week, and will be riding in honor of Eric!! Love with all my heart!
Andrea White xoxo
Andrea White
February 22, 2007
I LOVE YOU
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