So, today was the hardest day I've had since you passed. We had to put Rocky to sleep. He had 2 grand mal seizures last night, very scary. He became almost lifeless afterwards for couple hours. We (Mom, Jason, and I) just stayed with him, laying, talking to him, and petting him, making him comfortable. I just kept saying buddy if you want to go be with Dad it's okay; you have been a great dog. We know you are tired. He tried getting up again and was too weak, and fell. So, Jason and Mom took him to the MedVet in Worthington. Basically because he wasn't getting better, and we were worried he'd get worse.
So after that they told us he had a tumor on his liver. Then they was a possibility he may have a brain tumor. I went to work, and they called me with the news. We needed to make a decision. The more we thought about it, we didn't want him to suffer, or be in pain. It's Friday and if we would have brought him home and something happened, or he started to get uncomfortable we would have been screwed, because no vets are open on the weekend. So, I had my charge nurse figure it out and had someone take my pts away. So I could go be with him. We decided if he jumped up when he saw us we'd bring him home. Otherwise he had lived a great long life, and we wanted him comfortable.
He was just laying with Mom when I walked in, and as soon as I did and started talking, he looked up at me. I'd already been crying, and I just exploded then. I laid on the floor next to him, and stayed with him until the very end. It's was intense, but I didn't want him to be alone. It was too hard for Jason and my Mom to watch the last few minutes, which is fine. I was there. He laid his head on my leg, they gave him the medicine and he went to sleep. He wasn't in any pain, and his breathing was slower but comfortable. As soon as they have him the sleeping meds I think it was enough for him to let go. He was so tired, and hadn't slept all last night. But they followed with the other, and now he's in Heaven with you.
I just know he's in a better place, and with you. I told him he can eat whatever he wants, and doesn't have to worry about getting sick. He can run and play, and have all the energy he use to have with his best friend, you. But it has tore us all up, and the house feels so empty without him.
I imagine you just hanging out, and all of a sudden, Rocky comes running to you and you guys start hanging out side by side, like the old days. So a loss for us, but a gain for you. I just want him to know he will be extremely missed and loved always.
It's been an intense couple of months, Rocky being sick, well more just couldn't be left alone for awhile. He needed people with him, and we didn't mind. Mim was in the hospital for her heart and BP, and fainted to start it out. We are still having problems getting Poppie places, but hopefully that is going to be changing. Drew started his junior year. Same stuff with Moms work, on top of all this. She's a trooper, and I don't know how she does it. Jason did tell her last night, Mamaw you can't save everyone. I'm glad he did too, but she needs time for herself too.
Anyways sorry to hit you hard with all this, but I know you got your buddy back. I love you and miss you always. Everyday you are on my mind. Once we get Rocky back, I'm going to combine some of your ashes together, and we are going to have a celebration of life.
Love ❤ Always and Forever ~ Amber Dawn (Ams Jams) your #1 daughter and #1 fan. Hugs and kisses . Enjoy yourself with Rocky. He's in your hands now. ❤
Amber Dawn Carver~Williams