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Educator dies during Caribbean vacation
Shirley Kolkebeck found her calling later in life than most teachers. But her knack for understanding children and their parents won her teacher of the year honors at the Ridgewood elementary school where she taught.
That community of teachers, parents and children was grief-stricken after learning that the 60-year-old Harrington Park woman had died Feb. 18 while vacationing with her husband in the Cayman Islands.
The couple had been scuba diving, Ken Kolkebeck said. She seemed fine afterward but awoke that night having difficulty breathing.
Shirley Kolkebeck, a native of Bridgeport, Conn., taught 22ï¾½ years in Ridgewood. She had planned to retire next year, her husband said. The couple, who met when they were in college in Massachusetts, would have been married 40 years come June.
In the early years of their marriage, her husband's job required them to move several times. They first came to New Jersey in 1976, then moved to Pittsburgh.
While there, Shirley Kolkebeck got involved through her church with a program called "Mother's Day Out" that provided temporary child care. When the couple moved back to New Jersey, she and a friend replicated the program in 1981 at the Community Church of Harrington Park.
That experience led her to become a teacher's aide and to work in a program with autistic children in Alpine. She also decided to go back to school and get her teaching certificate.
"She just loved kids, and she loved teaching kids," her husband said.
At Hawes Elementary School, Principal Paul Semendinger recalled how she worked with a first-grader who needed reading help. She picked up on the fact that he wanted to sit right next to her.
"That made him comfortable and that made him feel special, and that made him ready to learn," he said.
Stories like that were among the reasons Mrs. Kolkebeck was named teacher of the year at Hawes in 2011, the principal said.
"There are a million anecdotes like that. She was a person who cared deeply about every aspect of her craft," Semendinger said, adding, "Everyone is devastated, sad. It has hit real hard."
Georgeann Starace, a first-grade teacher whom Mrs. Kolkebeck mentored, said: "She just brought this great perspective and feeling to everything she did. Shirley was a model for other teachers."
Jane Remshack, whose 10-year-old son was one of her students, recalled how every time she went to meet with Mrs. Kolkebeck, she would start the conversation by saying, "I just love your son.&"
To accommodate Remshack's own working hours as a teacher in Fair Lawn, Kolkebeck often would meet her after school hours.
All of that made it very difficult for Remshack when she and her husband sat their son down Saturday to explain that his teacher had died. "It was such a hard thing," she said. "His face, you could just see the color drain out."
Besides her husband, Mrs. Kolkebeck is survived by their sons Keith and Scott, her parents, John and Helen Kopchik, her brother, Jack Kopchik, and five grandchildren.
Visiting hours are Saturday and Sunday from 2 to 6 p.m. at the Becker Funeral Home, 219 Kinderkamack Road in Westwood. A memorial service is Monday at 10 a.m. at the Community Church of Harrington Park.
Donations in lieu of flowers can be sent to the Community Church at 1 Spring St., Harrington Park, or the American Heart Association's Go for Red Women campaign.
Email: [email protected] and [email protected]
27 Entries
There isn't a day that goes by that we don't remember you in some way. I always like to wear your bracelet when we go somewhere special. I'll say, "Come on Shirley, we're going out to dinner tonight," when I put it on. You are missed and remembered with love.
Merry Thompson
Friend
February 22, 2021
Scott: Remembering your mom as the anniversary of her passing approaches. She would be very proud of what a strong person you are.
Brenda Baez
Coworker
February 22, 2019
My sincere condolences to the family of Mrs. Kolkebeck. I wanted to send my sincere condolences to the family, even though I don't know you personally. As you return to your normal routine in the days to come may you continue to feel the comfort and love of support of family and friends.-Romans 15:4.
Lynn H.
May 15, 2013
We were neighbors on Martha Road in HP in the 1980's. We remember Shirley as a very friendly person and she always came over to say hell when we were out walking. We are so sorry for your loss. Sincerely, Jane & Dick Maier
April 3, 2013
Dear Keith and Scott,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this most difficult time.
Cathy Coniglio (formerly of NVOT)
Cathy Coniglio
March 25, 2013
My deepest condolences to you all.
Ge Casimiro
March 18, 2013
Dear John,Helen,Jack,Ken,Keith,Scott, We were Brownies together. We went on a cross country trip in the 60s and stopped in New Orleans at her Aunt and Uncle's home. Caught up at the last Reunion and she looked great and talked about the children she loved to teach.
God bless her and all of you. May you get some comfort from all the people she touched. She was a very special spirit that will eternally live on.
Linda Grosner Conlon
March 14, 2013
My deepest sympathy. Shirley was a delight to work with and I never will forget her kindness towards my grandson while serving in Iraqu, He had been her pupil and loved his teacher.She was so proud of her children, grandchildren and family. May she rest in peace.Sigrid Smith
March 11, 2013
Scott, may the peace of paradise your Mom now experiences bring some comfort to you and your family. All our love and prayers to each and every one of the Kolkebeck family. Bob and Becky Schulz
March 3, 2013
Ken, Keith and Scott,
You have our deepest sympathy.
Love and Blessings,
Rudy & Kathryn Egenberger
Rudy Egenberger
March 2, 2013
Ken,Keith and Scott,
Sending you my deepest sympathy.
You are in my prayers.
Laurie Schwinger
March 2, 2013
May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.
Eddie Rubenacker
March 2, 2013
Shirley was there to help me feel confident leaving my young children. Parents Day Out was such a help to young mother's . Thank you Shirley
suellen Spillane
March 2, 2013
May your memories of the wonderful times you shared with your loved one comfort you and your family, today and always.
American Heart Association
March 2, 2013
To the family of Shirley Kolkebeck(Kopchik),
We will miss you at Bunnell High School Reunions. You will always be remembered in prayers and thought always. May god bless you and help your family through this time of sorrow.
Love,
Jeanne Carrano (Miller)
Jeanne Miller
March 1, 2013
Ken/Scott/Keith...
In a moment,Life can change and we are left with only the memories of so many times and things that meant so much. Live life to the fullest as did your Wife and Mom everyday as a testimony to her legacy within you all! Our sincere thoughts and prayers are with your entire family...
the Doyle Family
March 1, 2013
As my cousin and one of my best friends growing up, I will carry Shirley's laughter in my heart always. I'm sorry we never got to say goodbye. With love ~Sandra
Sandra Messina
March 1, 2013
Ken and Family, we will cherish the fun times sailing together at NBC. We will always remember her smiles and laughter.....Shirley will be terribly missed. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Joanne & Joe Scarmato
March 1, 2013
To the family of Shirley,
So sorry for your loss. I've known Shirley since my two boys went to Parents Day Out(30 yrs. now). I've known her always to be upbeat and caring. May you find comfort at this saddened time in your lives. Our prayers are with you.
Marion Cole
Marion Cole
March 1, 2013
Dear Ken, Keith and Scott:
I am was shocked and saddened to hear of the passing of your lovely wife and mother. Whenever I think of Shirley I have only happy thoughts of a sweet and kind woman. My deepest condolences to your family.
Arthur Markowitz
February 28, 2013
I am so sorry for the loss of your loved one. Please find peace and comfort in Psalms 65:2.
February 28, 2013
Brenda Cianci
February 28, 2013
Shirley lived life lovingly and to its fullest extent with her family at the epicenter. We, as friends, were fortunate to witness this devotion to family and share her joy in life's adventures. My prayers extend to her beloved family and dear friends who have lost their guiding light. Shirley's legacy will remain as the radiance of life, love, and laughter shining from heaven. Rest in peace, dear Friend.
With deepest sympathies,
Eileen McManus
Eileen McManus
February 28, 2013
Keith, Jessica and Family,
I am so sorry for your loss...a loss so sudden, all too soon, too much to comprehend. Our prayers are with you. May you feel her spirit close to yours always.
Love, Courtney & Greg
Courtney Nascimento
February 27, 2013
May your memories of the wonderful times you shared with your loved one comfort you and your family, today and always.
American Heart Association
February 27, 2013
I wish we could be there at this sad time. We will always remember the light that Shirley radiated wherever she was. She will light Heaven with her infectious smile and wonderful outlook on life.
Her Uncle Wayne and Lynn
February 27, 2013
My Dearest Friend. I have loved you like a sister for 35 years. My heart is broken at your loss. Our lives have been linked together in so many ways over these many years since we were young wives and mothers. Memories are too many to list. My consolation is that one day we will meet again in heaven. I will miss you desperately.
Love,
Merry T.
February 27, 2013
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