Barbara Jean Smeltzer

Barbara Jean Smeltzer, who lived a life of grace, kindness and determination — yet always with a twinkle in her eye and maybe a sly joke to crack — passed away on November 3, 2025 from complications of ALS. She was 82.
Barbara was born July 1,1943, in Buffalo, New York to Harold and Ruth Smelter, eventually settling in central Pennsylvania, along with her younger sisters Susie and Diana.
She worked as a registered nurse for most of her adult life, working in hospital emergency rooms and blood donation centers. Barbara's medical travels took her from her Pennsylvania home to New Haven, Pittsburgh, Detroit, Aspen, Denver, Ventura, San Francisco, and Los Angeles. She ended her extensive medical career at the UCLA Medical Center.
The essence of Barbara's life, however, can't be found entirely in her work. It was her relationships with family and friends, and the dignified way she carried herself through life's ups and downs, that revealed her true spirit.
During a physical while entering nursing school in the early '60s, it was discovered that Barbara had kidney disease. She changed her diet and lifestyle to help forestall dialysis or a transplant for decades, eventually receiving a new kidney in 2005 from a close friend, Cate Landers.
"The surgery was July 20, 2005, and Barbara sent me a bottle of really good Champagne every July 20th since, always with a sweet and sincere note."

That ordeal was emblematic of Barbara's pragmatism and resolve. As fellow nurse and "forever friend" Sheila Horst put it, "She had an inner strength, and never deluded herself about what was happening. I was so inspired by her."

Barbara, a voracious reader and a lover of travel, had a refined sense of artistry and style. She was an accomplished knitter (if you are lucky you might have a scarf or sweater she created), and took up esoteric yet detailed-oriented hobbies, like billiards (she called it "pool") and origami.

Barbara first crossed paths with her husband Mark Miller in San Francisco in the early 1970s, when they both were taking out trash at an apartment building. They were a striking couple. Mark, an articulate man-about-town, and Barbara, a more reserved, dark-haired beauty who radiated intelligence and humor. They lived together in Los Angeles and San Francisco, and were married Sept. 22, 2010 at the New York City Marriage Bureau.

By the time Mark passed away in October of 2025 from pneumonia, Barbara was in the later stages of her battle with ALS. She was in a wheelchair in their Pacific Heights apartment, cared for by some wonderful and intuitive helpers. Her voice was all but gone.

And yet, any visit with her during that time revealed almost immediately that Barbara was still all there — her intelligent, sparkling eyes, her sense of humor, her warmth.

Barbara is survived by sister and brother in law Susie and Red Adams, sister Diana Smeltzer, brother in law Guy Miller, nephews Rob (Catherine) Miller, Tim (Lara) Miller and niece Meg (Jeff) Thomas.