Gay Van de Houten

Mary Gay (née Rife) Van de Houten, born June 29, 1929, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, passed away peacefully at her home in East Amherst, New York, on February 17, 2026, at the age of 96.

Gay was the third daughter of John and Mildred (née Alexander) Rife. She was preceded in death by her eldest sister, Sally Ann Merwin, and is survived by her sisters Betsy Holston and Sandy Kauffman.

In April 1955, Gay married John Van de Houten, and together they raised five children over the course of their 28-year marriage: Lisa Szafranski; Gretchen Siegrist (who passed away in 2019); Doug; Ken (Levie); and Tina (Jay) Miller. Her legacy lives on through 22 grandchildren, 16 great-grandchildren, and 4 great-great-grandchildren.

Gay grew up in Wallingford, Pennsylvania, in the family home her parents built the year she was born. Her father owned a leather goods store in Philadelphia, and her childhood was filled with family outings, swimming, trips to the shore in Avalon, New Jersey, and music - especially classical piano. She earned a degree in Fine Arts with a concentration in Music from The College of William & Mary, and later completed her teaching certificate at Temple University while working as an elementary school teacher.

During their years raising children, Gay and John lived in many places across the country, including Southern California; Sacramento, California; Youngstown, New York; Louisville, Kentucky; and the Chautauqua Lake region of New York. After their separation in 1984, Gay settled in the Williamsville, New York, area, where she remained close to many of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She cherished her family deeply and loved engaging in conversations about life, faith, and politics with family and anyone willing to listen. Some of her greatest joys were reading to her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, singing nursery rhymes, and playing the piano for them.

A devoted Christian, Gay immersed herself in deep and careful study of Scripture and faithfully shared her belief in salvation through Christ alone by faith alone. She wove her faith together with her love of music, singing in church choirs over the years at Bethel Baptist Church in Jamestown, New York, and Randall Baptist Church in Williamsville. In later years, she attended The Chapel at Crosspoint.

A memorial service celebrating Gay's life and legacy will be held this spring at the home of her daughter, Lisa Szafranski, in Williamsville, New York.