Lilian Butner Royal

Lilian May Butner Royal died on Thursday evening, February 5th, 2026, at her daughter Sharon’s house in Seattle, Washington. She was 95 years old.

Lil was born March 15th, 1930, the second child of Philip Butner and Lilian McAlpine Butner. Her older sister, Elizabeth Eugenia (Betsy Jean) had died nearly a year and a half earlier at 7 months of age. A short while after Lil’s birth Emily arrived, completing the Butner family.

The girls grew up in a stable home in a Winston-Salem neighborhood cul-de-sac, sharing a back yard with cousins John and Margie Moore. By some accounts Lil was a treasured friend, a talented athlete and competitive big sister.

Lil’s mother, Lilian, taught French at Salem College and was a soprano in the Home Moravian Church choir. Her father, Philip, who sang bass in the same choir, held a position with Wachovia Bank. His heart was in gardening and basement shop woodworking.

Childhood matured and Lil became a nurse. Early in her practice she taught nursing among the Miskito Indians on the Caribbean coast of Nicaragua. After a time her career brought her home to Baptist Hospital in Winston-Salem where she met a young medical student from eastern North Carolina, Billy Royal.

After the briefest of courtships she agreed to marry Billy in November of 1956. She put her nursing practice on hold and devoted the next 20 years to raising four children; Philip, Sharon, Fredric and Pamela. Billy’s medical training and career were all-consuming. As such, Lil orchestrated much of the day to day life of the family. During those days and years her home was a welcoming place for the dozens of her children’s friends. She taught her kids how to sail. She took them skiing. There were picnics on deserted Masonboro island. She was a Rainbow Soccer mom. A Girl Scout troop leader. She introduced both cheese and chocolate fondue. She didn’t insist on seatbelts. She sang alto in the United Church of Christ choir, choir practice every Wednesday night. She faithfully filled a unique role as one of the sisters-in-law in Billy’s large family of brothers.

When Lil and Billy’s marriage dissolved Lil created a new life for herself, rich with friends and liberating self-determination. She had a cabin built in the woods of Chatham County, named it “Bird’s Nest” and moved in. She resumed her nursing practice, now in obstetrics, partnered with Dr Fred Summers. By providing care in reproductive health and child birthing episodes over the ensuing years she made life better for hundreds of women. Lil practiced service. Haw River Assembly. Chatham Rape Crisis Center. The Church of Reconciliation. Habitat for Humanity. Massage therapy. Lil attended the births of each of her seven grandchildren. She was a good friend to many.

In the early 1980’s Lil was briefly married to Pete Jones, a nurseryman from East Flat Rock, North Carolina. She formed and maintained caring bonds with Pete’s daughters but her marriage to him soon ended.

One day in October 2022 Lil’s life thoroughly changed. A stroke left her with right-sided paralysis and the loss of expressive language. Her treasured independence ended. She was required to move away from her beloved Chatham County home to the Pacific Northwest, where three of her children lived. Despite this profound shrinking of her world, her good humor and bursts of hilarity rarely left her. Over the last three years of her life her care was shared by her children in their homes.

Lilian is survived by her sister Emily Wallace of Gwynedd, Pennsylvania, son Philip with spouse Geriann Siebert of Vashon, Washington, daughter Sharon of Seattle, Washington, son Fredric with spouse Linda Royal of Winston-Salem, North Carolina and daughter Pamela of Portland, Oregon. She is also survived by grandchildren Rosemary, Erin, Leah, Madelyn, Olivia, Lily and Rafe and great granddaughter Alyssa.

A service of remembrance is planned for Tuesday, May 5th, 2026 at The Church of Reconciliation in Chapel Hill, North Carolina at 1 o’clock PM.