Mary L Tansey

Mary Tansey (née Silar) was born in San Francisco on October 31,1933 to Jonathan and Eva Silar (née Shank). By the age of nine, both parents had died, and she and her sister Shirley were taken in and raised by her mother's best friend Ethel Callagy and her husband George, and became siblings to their son Robert (Bob). Mary attended St. James School and Immaculate Conception Academy, graduating in the Class of 1951.
After high school, Mary worked at Western Pacific Railroad as a keypunch operator, where she was a proud union member. A gifted seamstress, she loved fashion and often studied the dresses in the windows of I. Magnin in Union Square, then recreated them at home on her Singer sewing machine.
Mary met Jeremy (Jerry) Tansey (d. 1990) through the Old St. Mary's young adult and drama club. They were married in 1965 at St. Paul's Church and settled in Noe Valley, where they raised their children, Michael and Deirdre. Mary formed lasting friendships with other mothers at Douglass Playground and was a founding member of Noe Valley Cooperative Nursery School. She later worked as a Title I aide at St. Paul's Elementary School, befriending many of the BVM nuns. She delighted in driving her children through San Francisco in her Buick station wagon, fun days at the Children's Playground at Golden Gate Park, picnicking at Samuel P. Taylor, spending summers in Yosemite and Mammoth, being a girl scout leader, sewing and taking classes at City College of San Francisco.
In 1978, following a job transfer, Mary and family moved to Maplewood, New Jersey. She continued her education, earning a bachelor's degree in sociology from Rutgers University while working full time as a payroll specialist. She grew to deeply love the people, beauty, and spirit of the East Coast.
In 2003 she returned to the Bay Area and eventually settled in Oakland, living in a cohousing community with her daughter and family. Mary will be dearly missed by her son Michael and daughter-in-law Michelle; her daughter Deirdre and son-in-law Bob; her grandchildren Michael, Rachel, Emma, Theo, and Silar; and her great-grandson, Jack. She will also be deeply missed by her Orchard cohousing family, with whom she shared life since 2011, as well as the many relatives and friends who remember her kindness, positivity, subtle wit and gentle caring spirit. She was a great listener who always found the best in others.
Much of Mary's life was devoted to making the world a better place. She lived this commitment through her volunteer work with Hospice of the East Bay and the Loaves and Fishes homeless ministry at Newman Hall in Berkeley. She was a peace activist - a longtime member of the Our Lady of Sorrows Peace and Justice group and Pax Christi USA. Hers was a life well lived, and her memory is a blessing to those who knew and loved her.
A funeral mass will be held on Saturday, January 31, 2026 at 10am at Newman Hall - Holy Spirit Parish in Berkeley, followed by a celebration of Mary's life at the Orchard in Oakland.