Peter Vlok Tillinger

PETER VLOK TILLINGER

May 31, 1957 – November 3, 2025

(Celebrations of Life in the USA and South Africa -postponed to future undetermined dates)

"Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with their heart and soul, there is no such thing as separation." - Rumi

Peter Vlok Tillinger passed peacefully into eternal life on November 3, 2025, in Round Rock, Texas, in the loving embrace of his husband, Werner. Peter faced cancer with remarkable courage, humility, gratitude, and an unwavering faith in Christ. He lived each day as if it was his last and did so with an aplomb and calm strength that grounded his joyful spirit. Peter inspired all who knew him with his stoic and stately handsome presence.

Born Petrus “Pieter” Vlok on May 31, 1957, in Groblersdal, Transvaal, South Africa, to Jan Wynand Willem and Johanna “Joey” Cornelia (de Beer) (born Roos) Vlok, Peter had one older sister, Echo Louise de Beer, whom he lovingly called “ousus,” or big sister. Their age difference being twenty-four years, Peter grew up as the only child at home with his parents. His nephew, Johannes “Hannes,” and niece, Hannelie, were his childhood contemporaries and he remembered them fondly throughout his life, maintaining communication with them to his last day on earth.

Peter was a deeply pensive and sensitive young man whose soul was born of music. His gifts for piano, dance, and song developed from an early age, and as a youngster, he happily lost himself in music. This total immersion in music continued his entire life. After grammar school, Peter studied at the Johannesburg Art, Ballet and Music School and later at the University of Pretoria, aspiring to become a professional ballet danseur, flamenco bailaor, and classical concert pianist. Political and social realities in 1970s South Africa, however, shattered those dreams, but not his love of the arts.

After serving in the South African Police band (as an alternative to active military service), Peter joined South African Airways in 1977 as a flight attendant, traveling extensively across Europe, Africa, Asia, South America, and the United States. In 1984, he joined Luxavia, flying between Johannesburg and Luxembourg, which allowed him to continue exploring Europe during layovers and to broaden his world.

During a Luxembourg layover in 1987, Peter met the love of his life, Werner Tillinger of St. Louis, Missouri. Their connection was soulful and immediate. After four years of long-distance devotion, Peter immigrated to the United States in 1991. He worked for American Airlines in Chicago, New York, and later San Francisco, where he became a chief purser on premier transcontinental routes.

San Francisco became home, and in 1996, Peter and Werner fulfilled their dream of living in San Francisco’s Corona Heights neighborhood. Following his airline career, Peter built a professional life in banking, corporate, and financial services roles, including positions with California Federal Bank, The Walt Disney Company, Williams-Sonoma, Landmark Property Management, and Morgan Stanley. The nineties were glorious years to experience San Francisco in its heyday. Peter and Werner were living a dream.

Peter and Werner transitioned to friendship in 1998, taking what would become a circuitous detour from their partnership. In 2005 Peter was recruited by a South African global graphics design firm in Cape Town and returned to his native South Africa. Though continents apart, their bond endured. Peter and Werner met for a Serengeti camping safari in 2006 and vacationed in South Africa’s Drakensberg Mountains in 2011.

In 2017, after Peter visited the USA for the first time in twelve years, their love rekindled. Both Peter and Werner realized again, even more so, that there was no greater joy for them than to be together. Werner proposed to Peter within days of Peter's return to South Africa. Peter answered with a resounding yes and returned permanently to the United States. Peter and Werner married in Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA on September 17, 2019. Peter proudly became a U.S. citizen on March 3, 2023, realizing a lifelong dream. Peter and Werner shared a beautiful home in Santa Fe, New Mexico until the spring of 2025, when they sold their home and moved to Round Rock, Texas to assist Werner's parents age gracefully in their home. Round Rock would also have Peter closer to his primary oncologist in Dallas, Texas. Peter's health had stabilized in a clinical trial and there again was hope for Peter and Werner to grow old together, caring for Werner’s parents, who Peter lovingly called Mom and Dad. Sadly, the rebound was short-lived and Peter's health began to decline. Yet, Peter refused to let his illness deter from his determination to prevail - and he smiled every single day during his challenging journey.

Peter fully embraced life. Together, he and Werner traveled widely, visiting national parks across the United States and destinations throughout Europe, Mexico, the South Pacific, Africa, Hawaii, Latin America, the Caribbean, and beyond. They were inseparable and happily so. Their “thing” as a couple was to create memories through adventure. Despite significant physical challenges, Peter walked over 9 miles one day in his favorite city, Prague, climbed and walked the entirety of Dubrovnik’s famed walls, and went open water scuba diving in Fiji. Peter and Werner attended musical, theater, ballet, and opera performances, many on Peter’s bucket list, including in New York, Dallas, Santa Fe, Cleveland, Seattle, San Francisco, Atlanta, Verona, Budapest, and Prague. In October 2025, shortly before his passing, Peter fulfilled a lifelong wish to visit Bydgoszcz, Poland — his mother’s ancestral home — finding deep peace and closure there. When Werner asked Peter how he felt after having spent a few days in Bydgoszcz, Peter replied, “I’ve seen what I came to see and felt what I came to feel. I have found my place. I have closure. Let’s go home."

Peter and Werner shared a deep faith in Christ, which sustained them in the valleys of their lives. In Peter’s final days, he and Werner found a joyful peace knowing they would meet again. Peter drew his last breath after a final gentle kiss while held in Werner’s arms. Their bond transcends time. Their love, divine.

Peter was preceded in death by his parents and sister. He is survived by his beloved husband Werner Helmut Tillinger of Round Rock, Texas; parents-in-law Jake and Marie (Weber) Tillinger of Round Rock, Texas, sister-in-law Elaine (Seth Haywood) Tillinger of Jerome, Michigan; brother-in-law Helmut (Diana) Tillinger, nephew, Michael Tillinger, and niece, Brianna Tillinger, of Round Rock, Texas; nephew Johannes van der Merwe (Nelmarie) of St. Helena Bay, Western Cape, South Africa, grandniece Ingrid (Jaques Malan) van der Merwe of Magoebaskloof, Limpopo, South Africa, grandnephew Izak Schalk (Victoria) van der Merwe of Tzaneen, Limpopo, South Africa; niece Hannelie van der Merwe of Bateman’s Bay, New South Wales, Australia; great-grandnephews, great-grandnieces; and many dear friends and former coworkers around the girdled Earth.

Peter will be remembered for his faith, refined artistic soul, love of travel, devotion to music, compassion for animals, and his enduring capacity to love deeply and faithfully.

PLEASE NOTE that Peter’s celebrations of life originally planned for May 2, 2026 in Dallas, Texas USA and May 31, 2026 in Cape Town, South Africa have been postponed until further notice.

In the meantime, remember Peter by commending excellent flight service in the air, listening to classical music, attending your favorite opera, being kind to and rescuing unhomed animals, or watching a Broadway musical. Continue to be awed by wonder, laugh as often as you can, and hold closely those dear to you.

In lieu of flowers and to honor Peter’s legacy, please consider donating to

American Cancer Society Gene and Jerry Rice Family Hope Lodge - Dallas, TX

Or to the arts or animal charity of your choice.

"I love him; and that, not because he's handsome...but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." - Emily Bronte

A personal note from Werner: Peter was my soulmate, life partner, sole devotion, and unbreakable confidante. His stoic sufferance and unflappable faith in the face of challenge are gifts I will carry with me into eternity. Sweetie, I love you and can hardly wait until our next adventure. You will always be my hero - my handsome knight in shining armor.

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. - Psalm 23 (KJV)