Ruth Michkin Lijtmaer

Ruth Lijtmaer, Ph.D., beloved wife, mother, grandmother, psychoanalyst, scholar, music lover, avid walker, and extraordinary cook, died on March 30, 2026, at the age of 78. An aggressive cancer took her life within weeks of diagnosis, with a speed and brutality that feels impossible to accept. To those who knew her, she seemed destined to live well into her nineties: she was too energetic, too disciplined, too fully alive to be gone so soon.

Ruth was born on October 3, 1947, in Buenos Aires, Argentina, to her parents, Samuel and Clara, and grew up with her older sister, Silvia, in a Jewish household. In her youth, Ruth was rebellious and revealed an early intellectual zeal, hiding books by Nietzsche and other "controversial" authors under her pillow. She also reveled in rock 'n' roll, spending late nights dancing to Paul Anka, Brenda Lee, Chuck Berry, and the Beatles.

She met Hugo, the love of her life, on a blind date set up by their best friends, Carlos and Adriana. They married on September 11, 1969, and he remained her partner for more than 56 years. In 1971, they immigrated to the United States and built a life in New York defined by family, intellect, culture, devotion, and perseverance.

She earned her Ph.D. from New York University with distinction, an achievement that reflected who she was: fearless, rigorous, disciplined, and unwilling to be deterred by challenges. She worked as a psychologist and psychoanalyst until the final days of her life, maintaining a private practice in Ridgewood, New Jersey, where she was deeply devoted to her patients and to the serious moral and emotional work of helping others understand themselves and survive suffering.

As a scholar, Ruth wrote extensively on immigration, exile, trauma, xenophobia, race, belonging, and the psychic life of those forced to live between worlds. She published 52 papers and gave 140 professional presentations. Her work merged clinical insight with moral seriousness, linking the inner lives of individuals to the larger historical and political forces that shape them. She wrote with particular sensitivity about immigrants and refugees, mourning and silence, alienation and exclusion, and the ways fear of "the outsider" distorts both private and public life.

Outside her professional life, Ruth loved the arts with passion, especially classical music and opera. Carnegie Hall and Lincoln Center were among her happiest places. She was also a devoted reader, particularly of historical novels with strong female protagonists.

She lived with astonishing vitality. Every morning, at 6:00 a.m., she religiously walked 7.5 miles in Central Park. She did so with such consistency that the doorman in her building liked to say he could set his watch by the moment she left. That daily ritual captured something essential about her: her steadiness, her force of will, and the seemingly inexhaustible energy with which she moved through the world.

Above all, Ruth was devoted to her family. She cared for those she loved with remarkable energy and constancy, expressing that devotion not only in words but in daily acts of attention, generosity, and care. She was a fantastic cook who prepared elaborate meals for her husband and children while sustaining a demanding professional life, and among family and friends she was especially famous for her desserts: chocolate mousse, birthday cakes, and orange foam that became part of family legend. She seemed able to do everything at once, and to do it beautifully.

Her love as a grandmother was one of the great joys of her life. She delighted in the presence of all her grandchildren, taking immense pride in them and following their lives with genuine joy and interest. Her love was tender, engaged, and constant. The strength of her love will remain with her grandchildren always and will be carried forward to future generations.

Ruth is survived by her husband, Hugo Lijtmaer, M.D.; her sons, Fabian and Martin; her adopted children, Andrés Borenstein and Marisa Borenstein, whom she and Hugo embraced as their own after the untimely deaths of their parents; and her beloved grandchildren, Mira and Iris; Mateo, Patricio, Emilia, and Octavio; and Julia and Valentina.

She leaves behind a family that adored her, friends who will never stop missing her, and patients and colleagues healed and empowered by her wisdom and care. She was a living example of brilliance, strength, love, and moral clarity whose influence will endure. Her loss is immeasurable. Ruth was extraordinary.