It is with heavy hearts that the Coonan family shares the news that Tom Coonan, our patriarch, passed away on Monday morning, February 9. He was surrounded by family. That is the saddest possible news for his sister, Pat, and brother, Ted, for his six kids, his 12 grandchildren, and for the hundreds of others whose lives he touched through the years. He was 91.
Tom was born on December 28, 1934, to Frederick L. Coonan and Anna R. Hussey, both of whom hailed from large Irish-Catholic families. His father was an esteemed college professor and his mother a caring, compassionate nurse. He inherited the very best of both of them.
Tom grew up in Annapolis, MD in the shadow of the United States Naval Academy campus, where his father taught metallurgy and chemistry. Annapolis was a great environment in which to be raised, and he had fond memories of his time there. He learned to sail nearby in the Chesapeake Bay and played all the sports, including boxing, but had a particular fondness for football and lacrosse.
As a boy he loved to spend time drawing maps of the world from memory, and would listen to Notre Dame football games on the radio while plotting the drives on the kitchen table. His Uncle Dan brought him to Ebbet’s Field and the Polo Grounds to see the Dodgers and Giants play, and to Yankee Stadium to see the Yankees and the Red Sox.
His academic-minded parents were instrumental in the founding of and development of curriculum for St. Mary’s High School in 1946, where “Tommy” would later do his college prep. He remained a donor of the school over the next 7 decades. At St. Mary’s he developed the strict personal standards of integrity and decency that would mark his life. He also captained the football team and was elected Student Body President. The Naval Post Graduate School, where his father taught, moved to Monterey, California in 1952, and “Pop” moved out there after Christmas. Tom’s mother and the family (Tom, brother Ted and sister Pat) stayed behind in Annapolis so Tom could finish high school. This act of sacrifice by his parents no doubt influenced Tom, who would later turn down promotions so that his family could continue to live in their hometown.
Tom was thrilled to be accepted to Notre Dame and, upon enrollment, chose to study chemical engineering after careful consultation with his father, and entered the Army ROTC program. His affection for the University was one of the enduring throughlines of his life.
In his sophomore year his roommate Paul Ineich and Paul’s girlfriend Sally set him up on a blind date for a football weekend and formal with a “coed” from Springfield College in Illinois, Kathleen “Kay” McFadden. To say it changed his life would not be doing it justice. It defined his life. The two hit it off instantly. Tom wrote Kay three days later, the first of close to a thousand letters exchanged between the two of them over the next several years. Kay kept all the letters. Tom and Kay wasted little time becoming serious, and the rest of his college career was marked by frequent visits to Notre Dame by Kay and to Springfield by Tom. Two years after they met, Tom proposed to Kay at the Grotto at Notre Dame. After graduating in 1956, he completed his master’s in chemical engineering from Notre Dame the following year and the two were married that August in Springfield, Illinois. They were inseparable for the next sixty-four years.
After a brief stint at Fort McClellan in Anniston, Alabama with the Army Chemical Corps, the young couple settled in El Segundo, California, where Tom went to work for Chevron. They wanted a family, and that they got—six kids followed in the next thirteen years.
Tom spent 38 years working in a variety of roles at the Chevron refinery in El Segundo. He began in their research division and then moved to plant operations, and then to planning. His natural abilities as a teacher led him to the training division, and in his final years there he served as an effective and diplomatic liaison between the refinery and the local air quality management agency.
Tom was a great father. He kissed Kay goodbye after breakfast each morning, returned home for lunch nearly every day and rarely worked past 5:00. The Coonans, much to the exasperation of the impatient swarm of neighborhood kids, ate meals lovingly prepared by Kay for a full, uninterrupted hour from 6:00 to 7:00 every night, a mandatory ritual that Tom and Kay cherished. When one of his children committed the inevitable misstep, he had a singular approach to discipline, conveying a sense of deep disappointment that could be devastating, but always pairing it with endless support, love and the sense that he was there for you to ensure you would rise again.
El Segundo was the family base for almost 70 years. The kids attended St. Anthony’s school, in view of the Chevron refinery where Tom was “cracking hydrocarbons,” as he put it. Tom and Kay were active members of the parish, with the eight Coonans filling an entire pew at 8:00 a.m. Mass each Sunday. Tom frequently served as lector, and Kay eventually taught at the parish school.
Tom was a very active parent, serving as a Scout Leader and Little League President. He assisted with nightly homework, and tutored not only his children but dozens of their friends, particularly in high school chemistry. Anyone who was ever a teammate in any sport of any Coonan child will forever recall the indelible sound of Tom Coonan’s booming voice emanating from the crowd, urging them onward to victory. His dedication in making it to so many of his kids’ sporting events was truly impressive, especially given the distance he drove all over Los Angeles for weekday afternoon high school events. And the inspirational notes he would routinely leave on the blackboard by the kitchen table or in his kids’ lunch bags on the days of a test or a big game are among the family’s most treasured memories.
The family vacations in the station wagon have become the stuff of legend, with four cross-country trips to visit Kay’s family in Springfield and Tom’s in Massachusetts, making stops at dozens of points of interest along the way (including Notre Dame, by the way). Ever the teacher, Tom used these trips for hands-on lessons with visits to national parks, historical landmarks, and Revolutionary and Civil War battlefields. These epic road trips always began with a prayer to “Our Lady Queen of the Highways.” He also discovered Lake Almanor in the seventies, a favorite family vacation spot Coonans still escape to every summer.
He had a lifelong love of history, and read enough books to surely have the equivalent of multiple degrees. His trips with Kay all over the world always carefully balanced her art museums with his historical sites. A born teacher, when he retired from Chevron after nearly four decades, he took a part time job teaching science and history at St. Marks Grade School in Venice where he could spend time on the faculty alongside Kay. She retired a few years later, but he went on to teach for another decade. His zest for teaching was inspiring, conducting science fairs for his students and reenacting famous historical trials. His teaching prowess even inspired a group of St. Mark’s parents to fund the development of a school science lab.
He relished his role as a grandfather to “The Dirty Dozen,” (Kay’s nickname for them), seizing every opportunity to read to them, attend their games and events, expose them to simple science experiments, or engage them in making peach ice cream. And he never passed up a carefully selected moment to advise them to “Be true to yourself.” He was the living embodiment of that favorite expression of his.
He was exceedingly smart, decent, humble, and selfless, and he exuded integrity. His love for Kay, whom we lost in 2020, defined him. All who knew them take comfort in knowing they are together again.
As challenging mentally and physically as his last few years clearly were, he managed to maintain his exceptionally positive and cheerful disposition until the very end—a graceful and dignified exit. He was still teaching us—his final lesson being how to leave the stage.
Tom leaves behind his brother Ted (Mary) in Texas, his sister Pat (John) in Worcester, MA; his six children, Tim (Nell) of Ventura, California, Terry (Katia) of Tallahassee, Florida, Dan (Donna) of Newtown, Connecticut, Katie Pinkelman (Jim) and Nora Gervais (Neal) of El Segundo, and Dennis (Emma) of San Jose; and the “Dirty Dozen” – Colleen Weber (Grant), Killian and Erin Pinkelman; Bridget (Chris) and Carrie Coonan; Maddie and Grace Gervais; Claire, Tommy and Kevin Coonan; Eleanor and Seamus Coonan; as well as Kristina, Vlada, Phillip, Nicky and Alan of Florida.
Slainte, Dad. We have no doubt that Our Lady Queen of the Highways is busy ensuring your safe passage to your next life, where a certain former coed from Springfield, Illinois has been waiting for you.
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Funeral Mass at Visitation Church March 14 at Noon
6561 W 88th St, Los Angeles, CA
Celebration of Life to follow at Manhattan Beach Country Club 2:00 – 5:00 pm
1330 Parkview Ave. Manhattan Beach