Victor Ralph Tulli, Sr.

Victor Ralph Tulli, Sr. died peacefully in his home in the early morning of December 9, 2024.

Victor was born to Ralph and Lenora Tulli, in Providence, Rhode Island. His father was serving as an army medic during World War II, so Victor did not meet him for the first two years of his life. Nevertheless, his young years were filled with a big family presence: uncles and aunts living nearby with many cousins, his grandmother helping to watch him, and eventually four younger siblings.

Victor was a thoughtful and studious child. He attended La Salle Catholic school, where he excelled in pursuing his academic and spiritual growth. An admired teacher recommended him for the novitiate. Upon high school graduation he moved to Narragansett and then upstate New York for his first year as a Christian Brother, then moved to Washington D.C. to finish his education at Catholic University of America. He graduated in 1966 with a major in physics and a minor in English.

While at college, Victor attended the 1963 March on Washington where Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered the "I Have a Dream" speech, and was affected by the ways the culture was changing. Victor felt a growing need to be more a part of the world than Christian Brotherhood would allow, After graduation, he declined to take the vows that would have committed him to several years in the order and struck out on his own.

With the very real possibility of being drafted to fight in Vietnam, he sought a job that would both contribute to the community and earn a deferment. As luck would have it, he was able to take up the exact teaching job that would have been assigned to him as a brother, at Bishop Loughlin High School in New York City. After teaching for two years, Victor took a job as a social worker supporting at-risk youth. In New York, he lived with several dear friends from the brotherhood, learning to be a part of society as a young adult, and cementing what would be lifelong friendships.

During that time, Victor met Cheryl Lee English, a nursing student in Rhode Island and friend of his (now deceased) sister Judy. Cheryl became his wife in 1967 and later, the mother of his two sons. They remained together until her death in 2007. When their first son was born, they decided to move back to Rhode Island to be closer to their families. They lived there and southern Massachusetts for several decades.

Victor had been a loving elder brother to his siblings, and he took to fatherhood with great love and devotion. He supported his sons' love of reading, of playing games (teaching them how to play chess), and of hosting friends at their home. His hobbies were centered on the family. When their town needed more soccer coaches to support expanded interest, he learned the rules of the game to help coach his sons' teams, spending many a cold and wet Saturday on the fields. He was a willing assistant for Cheryl's passion for theater, and eventually acted in several local theater productions. He learned to love cats and dogs, embracing his family's desire for pets. He taught his sons to body surf at the beach, and how to drive a car, both with great patience. (Less successfully, he tried to teach his sons to drive his motorcycle, so motorcycling was perhaps the one hobby that was his alone.)

Professionally, an early job as a technical writer and then a systems tester put him in a position to learn computer programming when it was fairly new, when "mainframe" computers took up entire rooms with their reel-to-reel memory tapes and punchcard interfaces. The challenges of getting computers to do what you wanted them to do were a good fit for his brilliance, and he had a long and successful career in programming and computer systems architecture.

Like many men of his generation, he had to completely rediscover himself after his wife's death and his retirement. He moved to Boston's Charlestown Navy Yard neighborhood in 2012 to be close to his son Victor Jr. and partner Melanie, and found a perfect environment there. He drew enjoyment in meeting new friends, in preparing food for himself and family gatherings (huge batches of eggplant parmesan and fruit salad), and in sharing his thoughts through poetry and observations sent to an active network on Facebook. With a style embracing humorous approaches to profound issues (and vice versa), he became known for his late-night musings intended to greet readers when they woke up. His early interest in social justice shone through in his writing, and he also found meaning in volunteering time for the Bernie Sanders 2016 primary campaign. He rediscovered his love of music and the poetry of song lyrics, and for the last few years of his life rarely let a day go by without listening to a favorite or two from James Taylor, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, and more.

He was lucky to find romantic love again in 2016, beginning a relationship with Georgette Burpee Maloof that brought him great joy. Victor and Georgette enjoyed meals and movies together, explored Boston on many memorable dates, visited with each others' families, and traveled together to enjoy Broadway shows and New England beaches. As his health declined, their special relationship evolved into a supportive companionship that lasted until his death.

He fought valiantly to savor life despite medical challenges. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in 2015, a condition he managed admirably as it progressed. Heart failure in early 2016 led to a triple bypass surgery, from which he fully recovered. A bad fall and injury in 2020 significantly changed his life, as a combination of factors meant that he never fully recovered his mobility. But with the help of many wonderful home health aides, he continued to live independently and remained in the apartment he loved. He learned to drive a motorized wheelchair like a motorcycle, and became a well-known patron of the neighborhood stores and restaurants. A week before he died, he hosted his family for his 81st birthday party, managing the food and the music to make sure everyone could celebrate together in his home.

He is terribly missed by those who were closest to him. He leaves behind sons Victor Tulli, Jr. and Jude Tulli, siblings Joseph Tulli, Joyce Cereto, and David Tulli, companion Georgette Burpee Maloof, and many beloved family spouses, nephews and nieces, other relatives, and long-time friends.

Instead of flowers or gifts to the family, please consider a gift to The Parkinson's Foundation, parkinson.org.