Lt. Col. Stephen Neil Hyland Jr.

Lt. Col. Stephen Neil Hyland Jr.

Stephen Hyland Obituary

Published by Legacy Remembers on Sep. 17, 2001.
LT. COL. STEPHEN NEIL HYLAND JR., 45, of Burke, Va., told a friend 20 years ago that he'd like his epitaph to read, "Born with the gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad." It was just too fitting, loved ones said. "You look back, and all you think about is him laughing," said his father, Stephen. "When he was in a room, everybody gathered around him."

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May 24, 2025

Paula Underwood posted to the memorial.

September 12, 2021

John Schaefer posted to the memorial.

September 11, 2021

Kathy Langan Pusecker posted to the memorial.

Paula Underwood

May 24, 2025

I am thinking of you and remembering you on this Memorial Day. I am wearing a bracelet with your name on it. I will never forget your unending enthusiasm, never questioning whatever was asked of you, as a Staff Group Leader in our Section at the Command and General Staff College, Class of 1997. You will never be forgotten, dear Neil.

John Schaefer

September 12, 2021

We still grieve over your loss. We’ll never forget.

Emmett Neil loves to laugh and learn new things.

Kathy Langan Pusecker

September 11, 2021

20 years have passed and we still long for a telephone cocktail. Although life keeps moving forward we still spend moments reflecting on our memories.

Kathy Pusecker

September 11, 2019

Neil,
We think of you often. Katie named our grandson Emmett Neil after you. He too loves to laugh!

Wishing you and your family peace.

Kathy

Goddaughter's Son Emmett Neil

Kathy Pusecker

September 11, 2019

John Schaefer

November 2, 2018

Miss you Neil.

Kindred Family

November 1, 2018

We send our continued sincere condolences to your family. Daily may God give the needed help and support. Neil touched the lives of others and will be sadly missed.

Helen Schaefer

September 12, 2016

Think of you often. Can't believe it's been 1 years.

Kathy Pusecker

September 11, 2016

Wow, 15 years have passed and we still recall all the fun, laughter, and friendship. I'm sure if there is a heaven, you've got good scotch, a cigar, and great music to fill your days. Save some fun for us.

Del Newberry

November 4, 2015

Looks like your birthday is rolling around and with that and Veteran's Day, there will be many memories of you as friends and family continue to be reminded of your laughter while here on earth. I pray today for those friends and family that you left behind, and that your memory will be honored by all of by sharing that gift of laughter with all of those around us. Thanks for your service to our country Sir. With much love from Texas,

September 15, 2015

You touched a lot of lives, including mine. We all still miss you and look forward to the day we can hug you again. Watch out for us, as you always have. Love you Uncle Neil.

September 14, 2015

Hi Big Brother
I do so Love and miss you!
Hug Mom for me
XXX0000
dance a bit.

Helen Schaefer

September 11, 2015

Miss you, cousin!

September 11, 2015

The 7th grade at St John Bosco Academy are praying for you and thank you for your service.

September 12, 2014

I have been, naturally, thinking about you on these days of the sad anniversary, Neil. The time for a reunion gets closer every day. That will be a happy time.

Helen Schaefer

September 12, 2014

Missing you still! You are always in my prayers.

Cheryl Hyland

September 11, 2014

Miss you big brother! Give Mom a hug for me and dance the night away : ) I love you

MSG Gary Buck

January 1, 2014

Miss you, miss you so much. Thank you for being a mentor, friend and being you.

John Schaefer

November 14, 2013

Miss you. You always kept me laughing.

Helen Schaefer

November 11, 2013

Thinking of you this Veteran's Day and on your birthday yesterday!

Cheryl Hyland

September 11, 2013

I miss you everyday big brother and I know your blue eyes are still sparkling. Take care of mom. I Love you xoo Cheryl

Helen Schaefer

September 10, 2013

It's that time again. Missing you still.

SGM Tim Williams

July 18, 2013

Sir,
It was my pleasure to serve with you in Hawaii, and after deploying to Iraq, I seemed to have followed your path to work at the Pentagon. I keep your Pentagon Memorial "rubbing" at my desk. Hooah!

Jenny Cook

May 28, 2013

It's not just your family that miss you, Neil. Your friends think of you often. Sending love up your way.

Helen Schaefer

May 27, 2013

Thinking about you this Memorial Day, miss you.

Alicia Martinez

May 27, 2013

It is Memorial Day again, I still think of you often. I love you Uncle Neil! I thought I would stop in and tell you just in case my prayers weren't loud enough. :0)

Anne Shanks

September 12, 2012

Thinking of you today with a smile, Neil, as I remember your tremendous sense of humor and that wonderful laughter! You made a difference and are missed. I will always remember your service and sacrifice. So glad our paths crossed so many years ago. You are still helping me to see the humor:)

Eleni Kouzinoglou (nee Krinis)

September 11, 2012

God bless you always!

Eleni Kouzinoglou (nee Krinis)

September 11, 2012

God bless you, Neil. I am truly honored to have you as a first cousin. I wish our families stayed close throughout the years. I finally was able to see the memorial at the Pentagon. It was truly beautiful and I cried for all those lost years we did not visit because of work, school, distance, etc...years we can never get back. I will never forget your beautiful and ultimate sacrifice.
Love, your cousin, Eleni

Alicia Martinez

September 11, 2012

I still miss you so very much Uncle Neil. My girls and I looked at pictures of you today, as we do on this day every year. I wished you could have met them. I know you are watching them grow up from heaven but they would have benefited from knowing you. I know I did. I love you so much! I am sending you a big hug.

Helen Schaefer

September 11, 2012

My classes honored you today. Would have liked a call from you instead.

Kathy Pusecker

September 11, 2012

Neil,
We think of you so much more than just on this date. So many fun and crazy memories. Telephone cocktails, road trips, the best brunches and Fridays at the O'club. Our little ones curling your hair while you slept. All that we will choose to remember is fun and light despite the way your light was snuffed out. So on year 11, despite a tear we wear a twinkle in our eyes and a hop in our step.

Maria and Jim Peterson

September 15, 2011

Neil, We knew you during the Germany years when you were stationed in the south and we were up in Moenchengladbach. What a great time we had when you would visit. Much singing and drinking Johnny Walker. We'll always remember you with such fondness.

Cindy Wilson

September 14, 2011

God Bless you!! We will never forget!!!

Alison Trask

September 11, 2011

Uncle Neil, it's been ten years since that crazy day. One that our nation will never forget. I think about how honored we were to have you in our lives and I still till this day can't listen to "She Drives Me Crazy" without thinking of you. You are and will always be missed.

Kathy Pusecker

September 11, 2011

Katie said to make you a Boston Cream Pie today. Paul said to toast you with good scotch. I think of you with laughter.

Donna Harreld

September 10, 2011

Every year for the month of Sept. I proudly wear my bracelet with your name engraved as a reminder of that tragic 9-11 day. Even though I didn't know you I'm honored to keep your memory alive. God bless,

Jenny Cook

September 9, 2011

I remember you often. Not just on 9-11. Your memory always, without fail, brings a smile to my face, a chuckle, and an outpouring of love. Thank you.

Helen Schaefer

September 9, 2011

I will be toasting you tonight remembering our Friday night cocktail hours. Missing you still. Helen

Major General Michael J Terry

September 7, 2011

Still miss you my friend. On 11 Sep 2011, I will be placing a flower lei on the marker at the base of the sign that identifies "Hyland Lane" here on Ft Shafter, Hawaii.

Eleanore

September 3, 2011

I received Stephen's name from my church. We we all given names, to pray for the victims of 9-11 and their families. I will be praying for Stephen and his family for the 10th anniversary of the terrorist attacks.

connie green

November 20, 2010

I honor the memory of your loved one. I sponsored Lt Col Stephen Neil Hyland's Flag at the Annual Memorial to the Victims of 9/11 in Tempe Az this year. I would like a member of his family to have it and will attempt to contact some of you in the coming weeks. He is a hero who will not be forgotten.

Helen Schaefer

September 11, 2010

Still missing you! My school attended the Army's Spirit of America yesterday and you've been on mind.

Alison Trask

September 11, 2010

To my Uncle Neil, Mr. Joker. Thank you for teaching me to stay positive and always look for the laughter in life.

Michael Williams

August 23, 2010

I was shocked, yet proud, to hear of Steve's service and our loss.

Peggy Childers

September 11, 2009

To the family of Lt. Col. Stephen Neil Hyland, Jr.:
Stephen gave the ultimate sacrifice and will be held in the hearts of Americans forever. My deepest sympathy to you. We must never forget!
Peggy Childers
"Don't Let The Memory Of Them Drift Away"
www.IraqWarHeroes.org

Helen Schaefer

September 11, 2009

The Fifth Grade at Brookline Regional Catholic School is praying for you. Mrs. Schaefer misses you.

Anne Shanks

September 1, 2009

I was reminded of Neil today at my son's elementary school when someone mentioned a plan to remember those who lost their lives on 911. I knew Neil many years ago when we were both assigned to the 9th Infantry Division Support Command at Fort Lewis, WA. We met when I was assigned as a battalion personnel officer, knowing almost nothing about human resource functions. Neil was the brigade personnel officer and immediately became a wonderful mentor and friend. He was always upbeat and cheerful, regardless of whatever personnel crisis was brewing. He had the knack of greeting you in a way that had you laughing before you knew it. I remember calling him numerous times, annoyed at receiving a tasking with a short suspense, only to burst out laughing as soon as he answered the phone, with whatever funny greeting he offered. He taught me to relax and look for the humor in stressful situations, because you can almost always find something to laugh about. I feel blessed to have known him and am comforted to know that those in Heaven with him are enjoying his sense of humor, too. I will never forget him or his sacrifice.

PATRICIA HYLAND

January 20, 2009

My name is Patricia Hyland,I live in Ireland.I just wanted you to know we havn't forgotton.Thinking of you.
Trish xx

Paula Underwood

September 11, 2008

I watched the dedication of the Pentagon Memorial today and cried. I knew LTC Neil Hyland, as he was the Alpha Staff Group leader for my Section#5 for the Command and General Staff College Class of 1997. I always enjoyed talking to Neil, as the Section leader, as no matter what I needed the Staff Group Leaders to do, he would always do it without fail and with a smile or a joke. He was a dream to work with. When I heard that he had died in the Pentagon attack, I was heart sick. I had a bracelet made with his name engraved on it. In The Bell, the CGSC Class Yearbook, Neil quoted Samuel Johnson: "Every man thinks meanly of himself for not being a soldier." Neil was not only a Soldier but he was a hero and I am so fortunate to have met him and known him, even for just that brief year at CGSC. I will never forget him or his sacrifice.

Grade Six BRC

September 11, 2008

The sixth grade at Brookline Regional Catholic is praying for you. I hope you are still laughing. God needed someone with your sense of humor. Thank you for your service. We will laugh with you.
Grade six BRC

BRC BRC

September 11, 2008

I hope you are still laughing in heaven. We are praying for you. We will always remember you.
Fifth Grade BRC 2008
Pittsburgh, Pa

Helen Schaefer

September 11, 2008

I can't believe you have been gone for seven years. I'll always keep your memory alive.
Missing you,
Helen

Doug Abraham

November 10, 2007

Happy Birthday!!!

Helen Schaefer

September 11, 2007

Missing you!
Helen

Thomas Francis

September 11, 2007

Neil - Charlie Weis needs you more than ever. Thanks for your service to your country. Go Irish!

September 11, 2007

Neil,
Thank you for serving our country and being brave enough to make the ultimate sacrifice. You are in our prayers.
Sixth Grade Brookline Regional Catholic School

September 11, 2007

Neil,
You are in our prayers.
Seventh Grade Brookline Regional Catholic School

September 11, 2007

Neil,
Thank you for your service.
Fifth Grade at Brookline Regional Catholic

Debbie , Kenny Coffey

September 11, 2007

You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Michelle Warburton

September 11, 2007

"Uncle" Neil! I'll never ever forget your presence at my holy communion party<3 Such a fun person with a great sense of humor, I wish I could have seen you more. God bless you.

P Tabbernor

August 26, 2007

In memory....

Kristine

November 2, 2006

As I cross-stitched your name on the memorial that I am doing for all of the victims, I prayed for you and your family. Please know that your death was not in vain. We will always remember. God Bless.

Kathy Swaringen

October 19, 2006

On 10-16-06, 1 mile was ridden to honor the life of Lt. Col. Stephen Neil Hyland Jr, and all those he left behind. Thank you for your service to our country and know that you will never be forgotten.

May you rest in peace.

Janette Bowen

September 11, 2006

I think about that last meeting we had on the platform of the Metro- what a strange thing. We had not seen each other for over ten years! Scott and I talk of your smile and wit----and all those Risk games that you won (or did I win? It was so very late at night at Fort Ben.)

I am glad you are up there waiting with a nice glass of wine....

Helen Schaefer

September 8, 2006

I can't believe it's been 5 years. I still miss those midnight cocktail calls and your laughter. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Love ya,

Helen

Brookline Regional Catholic School 7th Grade

September 9, 2005

Thank you for your service to our country.

LTC Meredith Reed

April 25, 2005

I worked with LTC Hyland while stationed in DC. He and I attended a briefing of some 50 general officers back in 2000. He opened his briefing with the following statement "I have never even seen this many general's before, much less brief them", we all laughed and it helped to break the ice before the briefings.

Lexie Orologas

September 12, 2004

To the Family of Lt. COl. Stephen Neil Hyland Jr.-- It sounds that your loved one was such a wonderful person, full of life and laughter, which is truely a God send. I lived in Burke for 7 years, and now I live in marietta, ga, but it chokes me up to know that maybe by some chance, i have passed this hero in my car one time, or maybe even brushed shoulders with him at the Giant off Burke Center Prkwy. It gives me chills to know that maybe, if I'm lucky, I have been in the presence of a hero. God Bless Lt. Col. Stephen and His Family

Lisa Schisler Drew

September 12, 2003

I have fond memories of political and religious debates that Steven and I shared back in our Junior Republican days. Even then, it was clear how much he loved God, country, and family. May the God that loves us all give you, Steven's family, peace.

Zarabeth

September 13, 2002

To the Hyland Family,



I did not know your son/brother, but when I learned he was from the Claremont Area, I felt a deep loss. I will say a novena for you family ever Sunday, and I will pray that God has given him beautiful silver wings of an Angel. Remember he is watching over you all now. I know every time I go past the Park on Indian Hill and 8th, I will think of him. God Bless you all.

Sharyn Earl

September 12, 2002

On the anniversary of 9-11, I attended the "Rolling Requiem" ceremony by the Seattle Symphony Chorale at Safeco Field in Seattle. Beforehand, I found Lt. Col. Hyland's name on the Rolling Requiem website and chose his name to wear on a heart badge to the performance. I chose his name because I was an "army brat" and had friends whose fathers had worked at the Pentagon. It just felt right to me to remember a soldier and to keep him in mind as the chorale sang Mozart's "Requiem" while the morning sun streamed into the stadium where thousands of people were gathered to honor and pray for the victims of 9-11. It was a moving and emotional tribute. I am so sorry for the loss of Lt. Col. Hyland.

Donna Harreld

September 11, 2002

I would like to tell Lt. Col. Stephen Neil Hyland Jr.'s family how sorry I am for their loss. I received a mercy band for Christmas and have worn it throughout this year with pride. Today on this anniversary I said a prayer for Lt. Col. Hyland and for you his family. You are in my prayers and will be every anniversary.

payton Henson

September 11, 2002

Im very sory for what happend to LT.Holand.

Are prarrs are with you.

Denise Caraway

September 11, 2002

I have never met Lt. Col. Hyland, but I wear a dog tag with his name.

I also have tags with a policeman, firefighter, and Navy man that go with me, in spirit, at least, to all kinds of events. Seems like, with his sense of humor, he would enjoy that. My condolences to his family - sounds like a great person.

Jocelyn Hall (nee Hyland)

September 7, 2002

To the Family of Lt. Col. Hyland:

I was online looking at a memorial to those lost on September 11th and I came upon your son's name. My maiden name is Hyland and as I was looking upon each face and crying at the loss, I cried harder when I saw the name. As an American, a native New Yorker, I grieve the loss of all those that perished that day as they are "family". I hope you have found some peace this past year and know you are in my prayers. God Bless you and keep you.

William

September 6, 2002

I feel sorry for you Mr. & Mrs.Hyland.I wish your son was still alive.

Ronald Hyland

August 8, 2002

Even though I've never met you I pray for your family to be strong in this terrible time. As you look down on us I hope we make you proud! May God be with us all! Amen

June 18, 2002

DEAR GOD SHINE YOUR LIGHT ON THIS WONDERFUL HERO.LT.COL.STEPHEN NEIL HYLAND JR.AND MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PEACE WITH GOD AND HIS ANGELS.GOD BLESS HIS LOVING FAMILY AND MANY FRIENDS.GOD BLESS AMERICA..AMEN

Cheryl Hyland

March 11, 2002

I miss you big brother. I know you are dancing with Mom amongst the stars.

thank you for the laughter, joy and special glamor you brought to all our lives.

Forever your little sister,

Cheryl

Jami Misner

February 14, 2002

My thoughts and prayers are with the family. I wear my mercy bracelet everyday with his name on it in pride. Many people ask about the bracelet and I am thankful to my mom for giving this bracelet to me for Christmas. No amount of words can make things better but my prayers and thoughts are with the family and friends and with God's hand in life just know everything will be okay.

Teresa Jahn

January 12, 2002

May Stephen's laughter, life and love continue living in you. We are deeply sorry for your great loss of Stephen. Our hearts cry with you.

America Cries

We see your sorrow-

and our hearts cry....

We can not erase your pain

but you do not have to face the anguish alone-for we-

-the American people-

are beside you.

We so desperately want to have the touch that brings you comfort,

the strength that gives you courage,

and the words to lighten your spirits.

And when we are left speechless

may the silence of our nation weave love into your hearts

to ease your sorrow.

May you find healing through our nation's strength as we-

-the American people-

face this difficult time together. Our hearts are with you. Teresa Jahn

Dixon, IL

Irene Warburton Ennis

January 6, 2002

I miss your visits to Cape Coral to Auntie I's. You always made us feel like kids again. Love, Irene

Tom Banyard

January 1, 2002

Neil worked for me at Ft. Lewis, WA before I retired from the Army. I loved his spirit. We had a connection because of his being a graduate of Notre Dame and my love of Notre Dame. I have missed him since I retired and now he is with our Blessed Lady and his son for eternity. Thanks Neil for being there.

Helen Schaefer

January 1, 2002

I miss those Friday night cocktail calls. Love Helen

Donald Penhale

December 13, 2001

It was an honor and a pleasure to have served with you on the Army Training and Leader Development Panel at Ft. Leavenworth, KS. May God bless your family and keep you in his loving embrace always.

SGM Donald Penhale

SGM, DCSIM, 81st RSC

Anna Johnson

November 8, 2001

To the family of Lt. Col Hyland,

All our prayers go out to you and your family. Along will many thousands of people here in NM and around the world, I have been given the honor of wearing a Mercy band in honor of your beloved Lt Col. This means alot to myself and my family since my husband also serves in the military. Every day I wear my bracelet I pray for the safety and well being of your family .

May God be at your side now and always

Gysgt Andrew Johnson and Anna

Jan and Zane Azbarea

October 26, 2001

Our thoughts and prayers are with the family.

Neil with God Daughter Katie

Kathy, Paul, Alison, Megan and Katie Pusecker

October 26, 2001

We miss you Uncle Neil!

Benedictine Sisters St. Lucy's Priory

October 6, 2001

Dear Neil Sr. and Family,



Our thoughts and prayers continue to be with you. I can still hear Pat laughing from time to time. It always makes me think of a good time we had over lunch as well as all of you. I'm sure that will be one of Neil Jr.s gifts to you too. With love, SEB

Barbara Bolin

September 24, 2001

MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU ALL.MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

STEPEN MAY YOU REST IN PEACE.

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May 24, 2025

Paula Underwood posted to the memorial.

September 12, 2021

John Schaefer posted to the memorial.

September 11, 2021

Kathy Langan Pusecker posted to the memorial.