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Clayce Engle Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for Clayce Engle
Sponsored by his wife, kids, and family.
October 19, 2015
12 long years since you were called home my brother,seems like yesterday,other times,an eternity, miss you more than you know, love& miss you,,Archie
archie engle
September 27, 2015
Happy Birthday Headegan,miss & think of you always,it's heck when you lose a brother & best friend at the same time,,love ya bub,,Archie
October 19, 2014
Hey Sweetie. Its been awhile since I've posted in here. Hope you know that even tho I don't post in here doesn't mean I don't think about you. I think about you all the time. The older CJ gets the more I see you in him. I just watch him when I see you The Lord took you home exactly 11 years ago today. You died on a Sunday. The events of the day are still so clear. Others are fuzzy. Maybe God made them fuzzy for me so it wouldn't hurt so bad. None the less I remember I lost you Oct. 19, 2003. The time was never really clear but in my heart I believe it was around 1:30. Your watch stopped at the time you expired. Crazy? Maybe. I just want you to know that we all still love you and miss you. And you will be loved forever and a day!
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November 28, 2013
Happy Thanksgiving! Thinking of you today and wanting to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. I miss you as always but I am so thankful for the time we got to have together. I'm thankful and very grateful for our son. Some of his actions remind me of you. Then there are his looks...I can see both of us. So you see, you are always here with us...in his looks, in our hearts, in all of our memories. Please tell Mom and Dad and the rest of the family Happy Thanksgiving for us. I am Thankful for you and you are loved forever and a day.
October 19, 2013
Hi, Sweetie! Ten years ago today God took you home to be with Him. To this day I still don't understand why he took you so early. I miss you and love you, Sweetie. Now you have your Mom as well as your Dad and Tony. I miss everyone but I know you all are happy and whole. I wonder what things would have been like had you been here. I look at pictures and remember. I'm typing this and remembering so many things about you. My love and respect for you will never end. You will always be my best friend. With all of my heart, I will love you forever and a day.
September 27, 2013
Happy Birthday, Clayce Edward! I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday and to let you know how much you are still missed today. Things are changing but my love for you never will. It is still a constant in my life...always will be. Tell Dad Happy Birthday for me! I know you all still celebrate together. I love you, Sweetie, forever and a day!
March 25, 2013
Happy Anniversary, Sweetie. Eighteen years ago today we married. I still love you to this day. Doesn't matter if you are here are not, I know you are always with us. Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you today. I will love you forever and a day.
January 2, 2013
Happy New Year, Sweetie. I started the New Year off being sick. Hope that's not a sign for the whole year. CJ was home and Ashley went out for a little bit. I didn't even watch the ball drop. That's okay. It can still be a positive year. I'm seriously thinking of retiring this year. It's about time. Just have to find out what I need to do. Still wish you were here. I still love you and I will love you forever and a day.
December 25, 2012
Merry Christmas, Sweetie! I'm thinking of you today as I do every day. CJ is starting to be just like you when it comes to Christmas and the excitement that goes it. I heard several times this week how much CJ reminds them of you. In looks. In personality. What a wonderful compliment. Enjoy your Christmas in Heaven! I'll love you forever and a day!
October 20, 2012
Hey Sweetie! Nine years ago yesterday God decided it was your time to come home. To this day I can't figure out why unless He needed you more in Heaven then we needed you here. But I needed you. It took me awhile to figure out who I was without you. But I have and I'm getting on with things. I just miss you and still love you. I will love you forever and a day.
Archie Engle
October 19, 2012
Well little brother,as the years click by since you left, I can't help wonder what we would be talking about today;;;; just kidding,some things never change!! Love ya man,, Archie
Archie Engle
September 27, 2012
Well, 55 isn't a bad number brother, just one behind me ~ think of you every day ( Happy Birthday! )
Love, Archie
September 27, 2012
Hi, Sweetie! Happy Birthday! Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you today as I do every day. You are still missed so much! I know your days are special now but it doesn't stop me from being greedy and want you here. Tell Dad Happy Birthday for me. I will always love you forever and a day.
June 26, 2012
Hey, Sweetie!
I was just thinking of you and thought I would write. CJ graduated 8th grade and will be going to Atherton High School in the fall. It's hard to believe he is getting ready for high school. What would he have been like if you would have been here. Would he be any different? He's a good boy, Clayce. He's not afraid to say "I love you". We have a wonderful son. I miss you and my heart hurts tonight. I just wanted to let you know you are loved forever and a day.
March 25, 2012
Hey, Sweetie!
Just wanted to say Happy Anniversary. We would have been married 17 years today. Instead I only have memories of you. Things have calmed down here. I read my last post and realized things are slowed down and changed. All for the best. But as for us, I miss us. I miss my best friend. Still to this day I love you. I guess that is something I will do to my dying day. CJ is growing so fast and changing. I wish he would listen to me more. I hope it's just the age.
Well Sweetie I'll let you go for now. I just wanted to say Happy Anniversary and to let you know I will love you forever and a day.
January 31, 2012
Hey, Sweetie! Boy oh boy...do we have things going on at home! LOL! I need to find a bigger place and that seems pretty hard to do. Apartments don't seem to have four bedrooms so I may need to look for a house. Then if I get a house I have to pay all utilities. We could stay here and just be full. Lots to think about and pray about. Hopefully God will just open a door that I can't shut and it will have all the answers I am looking for. I wish you were here to help me sort stuff out. Money,money,money. Everything comes down to money. I don't know if the kids understand where I am and what I can afford. It's taken a while but I do know. Things are getting paid off. I just wish it would get done sooner!
I'll let you go. If you have any advise for me just come visit in my dreams. I love you, Clayce Edward, forever and a day.
January 16, 2012
Hi, Sweetie! I'm just waiting for Micah to get up all the way after his nap. CJ is on his laptop. And I've been thinking about you and thought I'd write.
Your son is now 14 and growing up so fast. I keep thinking about when he turns 16! That should be fun teaching him how to drive. Maybe Ash will help.
We were out of school today and CJ had a dental appt. He needs to bush more and floss. Maybe he will.
I need to go and watch Micah. We will write again soon. You were in my dream last night. There were old pictures of you and I was told what a nice looking man you were. We still miss you and love you forever and a day.
December 26, 2011
Merry Christmas, Sweetie! Sorry this is late getting to you but I know you know I thought of you all day. We went and saw Mamaw and the rest of the family on Christmas Eve. Had a nice visit. I know your Christmas was wonderful! CJ is growing up to be so much like you in many ways. Without you here you're still here in many ways. Happy Holidays, Sweetie and we are off to a new year. I will love you forever and a day. Merry Christmas!
October 19, 2011
Hey, Sweetie! Eight years ago today you went home and not a day goes by that I don't think of you and miss you. I still love you. And I look at your son and watch him sleep and he reminds me of you. So much of him is you. Noone has touched me the way you touched my heart. You were my best friend and I miss that more than you will ever know. Noone will ever take your place in my heart. I love you and miss you forever and a day.
September 27, 2011
Happy Birthday Eddie, you are loved & missed!
September 27, 2011
Happy Birthday, Sweetie!
I just wanted you to know that we are thinking of you today as we do every day. I hope you and Dad had a special day. Your birthday has got me thinking about what all we have missed without you being here. What would have life been with you here? You would have gone through a loss of a parent. I would have been here for you. But you get to see him every day now. I still miss what we had. I don't care how much time has gone by I still love you and I want you to know that you are loved forever and a day.
January 1, 2011
Happy New Year! 01/01/2011...could have played a pick 3 or pick 4. I'm really holding on to my dollars. This has been a long week. Lots of issues. I've been taking down Christmas and boxing it up until next year. The boys are upstairs "jammin". I can hear the music. Some times I sit and wonder about what life would have been with you. Enough time has passed that I can make it on my own. I just sometimes miss my best friend. How you were there all of those years and then you were gone. Sometimes I think it would be nice to meet someone again but I don't want to go through the hurt again. One day I'll decide it's worth it but until then I want you to know that you are loved forever and a day.
December 27, 2010
Hi, Babe...I wrote to you on Christmas Day but it didn't make it. Just again wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and to let you know you are loved forever and a day.
December 24, 2010
Hey, Sweetie!
Merry Christmas! We are off to your Mom's once again and once again you are in Heaven enjoying your Christmas. We miss you. Ashley has decided to stay home with Micah. She says she can't get ready in time. She is having guest over later so that's her thing. We are to have a white Christmas. I guess we just have wait and see. I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and to let you know you are loved forever and a day.
October 20, 2010
Hi, Sweetie!
I wrote to you last night but must have crossed the line with something I said. So I will keep it short...I love you and miss you. Even after 7 years I still love you. You are loved forever and a day!
October 19, 2010
Hi, Sweetie! Seven years ago today you went Home to be with Jesus. Seven years...how I have missed you in those seven years. CJ is getting so big. Ashley now has Micah. I still love you. I thought I would make it through the day without crying. Well, I just blew that. When this day comes around all I think about is that day...all the events that I can remember. Some of it is still a blur and some of it is so vividly clear. I know God shut me down for a while and I'm glad he had to. I was a mess but I knew, for CJ's sake, I had to carry on like normal. I've made mistakes since then and will probably continue to do so but I've learned a lot too. If I knew then what I know now....
I love you, Clayce. Nothing will ever stop that. You are loved forever and a day.
October 19, 2010
Seven years; seems like yesterday, rest on little brother until we meet again, Archie
September 27, 2010
Happy Birthday, Sweetie!
Today was a little cool but you would have liked it. I've thought about you all day long. Ashley made a birthday cake and we finished it today. I ate the last piece in your memory. I had to celebrate you and your day. So much is starting to happen over here. I'll write later and tell you all about it. Micah is getting big...8 lbs. 12oz already. He's grunting over in his swing. He's making more noises all the time. I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to you and to let you know that I was thinking of you. You are loved forever and a day.
August 29, 2010
Hi, Sweetie! I can't believe I haven't made it on here yet to tell you that Micah is here! He was born Aug. 19 and was 5lbs 12oz, 18 1/2" long. I can see you holding him with your big hands and making those noises you used to make. He is beautiful even if he has Dustyn's nose. Ashley did wonderful through her delivery. Watching Micah being born was one of the most amazing things I have ever been given the opportunity to experience. Giving birth to my kids was a miracle in itself but to witness the birth of our grandson was just a blessing. I know you were there with us...you and Mom. Maybe that's why she did so well. He isn't sleeping through the night yet. Ashley has to get up with him 2-3 times a night. When he gets bigger I'm sure he'll sleep for her. Ashley is being a wonderful mother. She is so good with Micah...the natural mothering instinct. I'm going to get ready for bed. I need to holler at CJ to get ready for bed too! And that young man is a story! He wants to go back to last years middle school. He doesn't make things easy all the time! lol. If only you were here....
You are loved, Clayce, forever and a day.
August 2, 2010
Hi, Sweetie! The kids and I are having a nice, quiet night. CJ is playing "Shrek". Ashley is waiting on Micah to come on out and I was reading a book until it got too dark in here. Now I'm just playing on Ashley's laptop. I was looking at places to get CJ'S uniforms at a reasonable price. Not happening. School starts up in a week and I am not looking forward to going back. Got to though...need the insurance. Well, Sweetie, I will let you go. I was just thinking of you and wanted to say hi! Remember...you are loved forever and a day.
June 22, 2010
well hi there! just wanted to wish you a happy late father's day!! better late than never, right?! :) there's still not a day that goes by that your name isn't brought up. it's crazy how you're not here but you're everywhere. my little man will be here in 8 weeks...i wish he got the chance to know you!! anyways, i just ordered pizza for me and momma..bubby's at pat's...and it'll be here in a min so i'll get off here. i love you!!
June 20, 2010
Happy Father's Day, Sweetie!
It's hard to celebrate without you here but I will be out to the cemetery
later today. I think about what CJ is missing out on not having you here. I try but it's not the same. I know for you it's special since your dad is there with you this year. I feel so bad for your brothers and sisters. This will be the hardest Father's Day to face since it's the first one without Dad. It's a beautiful, sunny day here but very hot. Flowers and my love are all the things I can give to you. But you have my love forever and a day.
January 1, 2010
Happy New Year, Babe!
CJ, Ryan and I watched the ball drop again this year. Dick Clark is trying to stay in there and he looked good this year. I've made no New Year Resolutions this year. I don't think I will. I plan on just living in the present and accepting things that come my way. I usually let myself down and this way I can't.
Ashley's doctor's visit went well. She's about 5 weeks along. She is excited about the baby. I'm just worried about her and the way some things are going. She doesn't need to stress over anything. She knows she has a place here if she ever needs it.
CJ and Ryan are upstairs eating Wendy's. CJ likes their spicy chicken. I'm in the mood for pizza! Yummmmmmmm!
I'll let you go. I just wanted to say Happy New Year and I will always love you forever and a day.
December 25, 2009
Merry Christmas, Sweetie! I was typing you and CJ finally got up. I wanted him to sleep as long as possible. Santa brought him an Ipod Touch thingy and he seems very happy.
We went to your parents last night. I felt you there with your special type of humor when Mom opened up one of her presents. You were there loud and clear.
I wish you were here to share with me Ashley's pregnancy. Her first doctors appointment is next week and we are both anxious to see what the doctor has to say.
I hope CJ was satisfied with what he got. I told him it was going to be a small Christmas. But Santa brought him that Ipod Touch and a new printer so I think that may have made up for it. CJ got me severl nice things this year. He did well. LOL!
I'll let you go, Babe! Tell Mom and Dad Merry Christmas for me. Tell Jesus Happy Birthday. And know you are missed and loved forever and a day.
October 19, 2009
Rock on little brother,I miss you terribly, and like the guy said in Ghost about love,it really doesn't ever leave, it's always there,I love ya Bub,Arch
October 19, 2009
Hi, Sweetie!
This day has come again...the day God brought you Home to be with Him. I'm at a loss for words. I have finally come to terms with this day and I'm glad you are in Heaven yet I still at times question why you had to leave when you did. We were in a good place and we had a son together who adored you. Why would He take you Home then? I know I will never understand God's timing and I'm not meant to. I am grateful for the time we had together and the unconditional love you gave to me. I have been unsettled since you left in many ways. It's taken me this long to see things clearly. It's about time, huh? LOL. They say with age comes wisdom....I think it's true. I've grown in many ways and still have a long way to go. I miss you, Clayce Edward. I will always love you forever and a day.
September 27, 2009
Happy Birthday, Sweetie!
I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you today. Big ole 52! Today was a good day to celebrate your birthday. The day has been calm and quiet. More than likely we would have gone by your parents to visit for a bit. I haven't had CJ up there in a while and I need to get him up there. I'm back to being a home body and not wanting to leave the house much. Next weekend the three of us are going to go out and do something...drive in or whatever. Tell Dad Happy Birthday for me, please. I've been thinking of you so much lately....maybe because of your birthday. Could be because October is coming up. From September through for first of the new year are always kinda bummer months for me. You are a constant on my mind. CJ said to tell you Happy Birthday. He's going through boxes and "reorganizing" them. He may just be nosey! I love you, Clayce and cherish the day you were born. Happy Birthday!! You are loved forever and a day.
September 21, 2009
been thinking about you alot lately. I miss you so much. I love you. Bev
CJ
September 20, 2009
Hey Dad i really miss you i will write 2morrow.
love u!!
My 5th Grade Daploma!!
CJ
June 3, 2009
Hey Daddy,
I graduated from 5th grade today.
Here is a picture of my diploma.
Love You!!
Your Little Buckaroo!!
CJ
May 24, 2009
Hey Dad
It is CJ again. I really miss you bad.
I will write to u definitly tomorrow.
Your Little Buckaroo!!
May 23, 2009
Hey Dad it is CJ. We moved like 4 months ago. I just wanted to say hi and that i miss you!!
Talk to ya later
Love,Your Son CJ(Your Lil Buckaroo!!)
March 25, 2009
Hey, Sweetie!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Fourteen years ago today I became Mrs. Clayce Engle. It was like a fairy tale coming true. We had known each other for so long and now we were marrying! CJ asked me this morning if today was the 25th and I said yes, the 25th of March. Then I just said WOW! and he looked at me and said what? I told him that you and I married 14 years ago and he looked at me and smiled. What a beautiful gift you gave to me when CJ was born. I wish you could still be here to watch him grow. He is going through such a growth spurt. His feet went from a 7 1/2 to a 9! He is a big little boy and is you through and through. It's amazing how much he is like you without you here. It's the genes! I'm going to run and get back to work. I just wanted to say I love you forever and a day. Thank you for loving me!
March 11, 2009
Hi, Sweetie!
Wow! It's been a little bit since I've been on here. Just because I haven't written does not mean you are not in my thoughts all the time. I just wanted you to know we moved again! Yep....5 times since you died. I plan on staying here. It's close to everything and everybody...back in the east end. I'm still trying to clean out the old house and fix the new one. We go there several times a week and take what we can. I'm thinking about renting one more truck and throwing everything left in it and run!!!! God sent us a beautiful day yesterday and I sure enjoyed it. I'm taking CJ to the doctors in April for his 6th grade physical. I'm going to also have him checked for ADD. I want to be sure I'm doing all I can to help him.
I'm going to get off of here because I'm at work. I have been thinking of you so much that I had to write to you.
You are loved, Clayce, forever and a day.
December 25, 2008
MERRY CHRISTMAS, SWEETIE!!
Another Christmas is winding down and it won't be finished until I write to you. We went to your parents last night and had a nice time. As much as I love your Dad I can't imagine what is keeping him here and not joining you in Heaven. Mom looked good as did the rest of your family...especially the newest member. She is beautiful! Christmas this morning was nice and peaceful. Ashley went to her Dad's later and CJ and I went to Brian's. The whole day has been just calm and wonderful. CJ got a computer and I'm trying to hook up the router so he can use his. I'm not technical so this should be interesting! As usual not a day goes by without me thinking of you and once again know you are celebrating the Birth of Jesus in Heaven. How awesome that must be. Tell my family Merry Christmas, please. And once again, Merry Christmas to you. I will love you forever and a day!
November 28, 2008
Hey, Sweetie!
Happy Thanksgiving! I'm just a tad late getting this to you. We went to my brothers and had a very nice time. And as usual I'm stressing about Christmas. But I know with you watching over CJ things will be taken care of. I didn't cry this year. I only had good memories of you and Mom and Dad...memories I will always be grateful for. I did alot of smiling! I will always love you Clayce, forever and a day!
October 19, 2008
Hi, Sweetie!
Five years ago to the day God set you free from this world and brought you home to His. What a true blessing for you yet it was a sad day for many of us. Five years....today was so calm and relaxing while five years ago my world as I knew it ended with your final breath. CJ is having football lessons after school and I get there early and just watch him. Last week I was watching him and just filled up with tears. I wish you would be here to see him...watch him. I know you are with him where ever he goes but he is missing out on a father. You all could do the "football" thing together. What a gift for him if he had his dad to throw a football with. Ashley has a good arm and I throw with him so he still gets out and does stuff. It's just I'm not dad. I know this is five years into him not having a dad and we are adjusting fine. It's just there are select moments when we really miss you not being here. Sometimes the memories are overwhelming. But today I just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you...not just remembering the day you died but remembering YOU. Not a day goes by that you are not in our thoughts. We will always love you forever and a day!
Patrick
September 27, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLAYCE
WE MISS YOU ALOT BROTHER::
WE LOVE YOU BROTHER:::
PATRICK
September 27, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETIE!!
Big 51 today. I thought about you alot on my birthday...thanking God for letting me reach 50 and being here with CJ. I can still hear you say you knew you would never reach 50. You were to be here forever. You know the situations and I still ask God why you? I told Patrick today how much CJ looks like you when he sleeps...same mannerisms. I just watch him sleep. I know you and Dad celebrated your birthdays together today. I'm sure Mom made sure of it! (grin) CJ has a little friend whose birthday is today too! Popular day for special people. I hope you remember that you are still the love of my life. Once again, Happy Birthday, my love, and you are loved forever and a day.
June 16, 2008
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
Hey, Sweetie! I wrote you earlier and I haven't seen it yet. CJ and I went to see you and brought flowers. I brought flowers to Dad too. I look around at all the dads and I think how unfair it is that CJ's dad is in Heaven and not here with him. I know you are happy and whole but we miss you so much here. Even though you can't be with us I wanted you to know we are thinking of you today as we do every day. I want to thank you for CJ. I love him very much and we both miss you. Please tell Dad Happy Father's Day for me. Happy Father's Day, Sweetie! We love you forever and a day.
June 15, 2008
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!
Hey, Sweetie! Happy Father's Day! I don't like feeling this way but each year when this day approaches and I start seeing Father's Day cards out I cringe. I don't like this day any more. You're gone for CJ and my Dad died exactly 13 years ago to the day. For CJ I still feel it is so not fair that he has been growing up without a dad. I am doing the best I can but I feel like I'm failing in so many ways! Harlan told him last week that he looked just like you and he just smiled. He does, Clayce. He has some of my facial features but the rest is totally you. Your presence is still felt after death and I hope I am fulfilling what you wanted me to do. CJ and I will be out to visit you today. I hope you understand why I don't go out more. You are just not there. Heaven has you and you are so blessed and perfect. Please tell Dad Happy Father's Day for me. I will always love you, Clayce, forever and a day!
March 25, 2008
Happy Anniversary!!!
Thirteen years ago today you loved me enough to give me your name. You stayed with me until God called you Home. And I haven't been able to find that type of love since. Right now I would settle for a friend. There are several variables why I don't want to get remarried. But I know a couple that when you see them look at each other you can see the love in their eyes for the other. And if I could ever find that type of love again nothing else would rate above that. I guess I'm still a romantic thinking I will once again find what we had. But at the same time I don't know if I want to open up my heart again like that because I don't want to feel the pain of losing again. That's still one of my selfish sides. Ashley's dogs got out last night and only one has returned. CJ and two little boys were playing Hide and Seek and left the gate open. Copper came back. Zoey is still missing. I'll be looking for her again this afteroon. I rode around the neighborhood until 11:45 pm looking for them. Copper was on the deck this morning. I'm sooooo tired this morning! I almost fell asleep here on the desk! I'm sure it's getting close to 8:00 am and I need to jump into the shower. I just wanted you to know that I still cherish this day. I'll love you, Clayce Edward, forever and a day!
February 14, 2008
Hey, Sweetie!
Happy Valentine's Day!! CJ made me the sweetest card. It's another one I will have to save. The three of us are doing good. Of course my Valentine is you and since you're not here for a hug I just wanted to let you know I do still love you. I guess you will always be my "Bestest Love". I heard Jerry Champa has joined you all. Does Heaven have a skating rink? Just jokin. Well, Babe, I need to go. Will you do me a favor and if you know where Molly is please help me get her home. Tell Mom I'm sorry.
We love you Sweetie, forever and a day.
January 8, 2008
Hey, Sweetie!
Saturday CJ celebrated his 10th birthday!! Our baby is in double-digits! We took him to see the Chipmunks Movie and later that evening we took him to OutBack for his Birthday dinner. After that more presents. I think the celebrating is over for a little while. Mamaw let CJ spend the night Monday night and CJ just loved it. He and Mamaw sat up late and he was still sleeping when I went to pick him up. He loves spending his time with her and Papaw. I need to get ready for work but I just wanted to thank you again for CJ. I just wish you could be here with him as well as being his Angel.
We love you, Sweetie, forever and a day!
Ash
January 1, 2008
Hey! Happy Thanksgiving! Merry Christmas! And.....Happy New Year!!! Okay, so I'm a little late....sorry. I guess Momma's rubbing off on me....lol. Things have been crazy the past couple months. I just wanted to take a minute before I head off to bed to let you know that there's still not a day that goes by that you're not apart of somehow. I've learned to never underestimate the impossible! I could never thank you enough for taking me in as your own and loving me and Momma like you did! I know Momma will never find someone to treat her as good as you did but I hope maybe one day she will find someone that will take in Bubby and love him like you did me!!! So, before I start crying, I'm off to bed. Watch over us!!! Until we meet again....I love you!
January 1, 2008
Happy New Year, Sweetie!!! 2008!! CJ, Ryan, and I sat and ate cookies and watched the ball drop for the start of 2008. Jim and Brian called to wish us a Happy New Year. While we were waiting for midnite I actually had my sewing machine out and was repairing some things and listening to a CD by "DREAM". Do you remember them? I found my song on that CD. I know you were here as I was listening to the words to the song. Maybe one day......
Ashley and Brandon went to listen to her Daddy play music. She came home early because she has to work tomorrow. They both seemed fine. I told them to call if they needed me. It's now about 2:40 am and CJ and I are getting ready for bed. Ryan is already sleeping on the couch. I'm hanging pictures up in the house. CJ took the biggest one I had of you and wanted it in his room. So you are right next to him as he sleeps. I also found the picture in the frame with "Best Buddies" engraved on it that Ashley had made for me and gave it to him. He just smiled. Having those was his idea and I would never tell him no. Well, Babe, CJ is almost done clearing off his bed. We rearranged his furniture and cleaned his room today. Cody is sleeping on his comforter. I can hear CJ in his room yawning. We just wanted to tell you Happy New Year once again. Please watch over us during 2008. I feel like this is going to be a good year for a lot of reasons. We love you forever and a day!
December 26, 2007
Hey,Sweetie!
I wrote to you yesterday to wish you a Merry Christmas but it hasn't shown up yet. CJ is having a migraine today. I'm really not surprised. He has been so excited for so long that he really does need to rest. I told him this is his body's way of telling him to slow down. I gave him his medicine about 30 minutes ago and I'm just waiting for it to work. I'm going back in to check on him. He's talking to me and he should be relaxing!!
We love you!!
December 25, 2007
Merry Christmas, Sweetie!
Christmas Number 4 without you. Christmas Number 4 you've gotten to spend in Heaven to celebrate Christ's birthday! How wonderful that much be. We went to your parent's last night. We were all doing pretty good until I let your memories take over and then it was time to leave to go home. I try not to miss you so much that I cry, but I just can't help it. Leesa got your parents a plaque with your picture in it which was beautiful. I gave them a cube that had your face etched in it that sat on a lighted, mirrored turntable. There you were all lit up turning around and the tears started. Do you understand how much we miss you here? But at the same time we also realize how blessed you are. You can never be replaced. You are an original. I've met people that do remind me of you, but they will never be you. Some of that's good and some of that's bad! lol! Your presence is missed and will never be filled. Thank you for loving me and accepting me. Thank you for CJ. Thank you for caring so much about Ashley. If I am never loved again I do know that you loved me. And I can rest on that. Merry Christmas My Precious Husband. You are loved forever and a day!
Ash
October 20, 2007
Four years yesterday you were taken from us...It's hard to believe it still. There's so many times we'll think back and say "what would Clayce do?" or "Clayce would have done that". I have to get ready for a birthday party so I gotta go. I just wanted to let you know you're not forgotten. You still remain a huge part in our lives even though you're not physically here with us. I love you! Talk at 'cha later...
October 19, 2007
Hey!
I just noticed I goofed on a word to you. Forgive me! I haven't changed! LOL
Archie Engle
October 19, 2007
Fast Eddie,Well, four years ago today the Lord chose to get you out of this world & into his kingdom.Not a day goes by little brother that your not thought of. Love & miss you,Archie{ Face }
October 19, 2007
My Precious Husband!
Four years ago today God brought you Home to live with Him. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and miss you and love you. I tried to imagine what I would do if you just came walking up to me now with your beautiful smile. Yesterday I did that and my eyes just filled with tears. CJ and I were watching a movie where the Daddy of these twins returned after 20 years of presumably being dead. CJ said it would be neat if you could do that. I had my cry last night. CJ was in bed and I was cleaning up the kitchen and I just cried. That day four years ago is still as clear as if it happened four days ago. As much as I would like to be able to love again, I never want to wonder through those emotions any time soon. I have never felt so lost and numb and literally just going through the daily routines of life without thinking or feeling. I have been so unsettled these past years and I hate that. CJ will not be moved around like I did with Ashley. He will be at McFerran until he leaves fifth grade. Hopefully by then I will be where I want to be and plant myself. CJ needs that. I need that. It's still hard to believe that I lost my husband, my lover, my best friend in one second of one day. One second. Everything changed. Lives forever changed. I've been thinking about your Mom. I need to check on her this evening. I called Steve and "sang" Happy Birthday to him. (He loves me anyway!) There has to be a positive about this day. I've been trying to stay busy this week so I didn't think about today too much. Since I started working at the school I don't pay attention to the dates much. I just know Monday - Friday I'm there. But again this day rolls around and it's time to remember, to grieve, to cry, to smile, and even laugh at your crazy ways. Clayce Edward, I love you so much. No one will ever be able to take your place and I would never try. I miss my best friend more than you could possible imagine. One day I hope to see you again and that wonderful smile. Until then, I do have my precious memories to cherish and a beautiful son you gave me. Just know we will love you forever and a day.
Debbie Chastain (Engle)
October 3, 2007
Clayce,
l've been thinking alot about you and Cathy, ya'lls birthday is the same has my mom's THE 27TH, and Cathy's is the same as Lil Momma's the 25th, funny huh?
Well, buddy l will "ALWAYS" consider myself part of the family, b/c almost 13 years is a long time and l love them dearly, NO ONE will EVER take that away from me, l'm still VERY close to them and we talk as much as we can, l just can't see them all like l want to..
And l know you've been lookin down and overseeing everyone, so you know what l mean!!
l'll Always remember all the funny things you would come up with, and all the off the wall sayings, you were always so funny and just a pleasant person to be around, never a dull moment...lol!!
Well my FRIEND and MY BROTHER in my HEART, Have A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY,and never forget how much you are LOVED and MISSED!!
I pray for Mom and Dad and Cathy and CJ, Actually everyone that l love.
And "1" day we will all be together again,so... save a special place for us, you hear! :)
Well, l just wanted you too know that l was thinking of you, but...you already know that without any words being said.
LOVE ALWAYS,
Debbie (Engle)in heart only!
October 2, 2007
Hey, Sweetie!
I need to get a new opening don't I? Well, it is now Oct.2 and it is 1:30 in the morning. I can't sleep. Molly needed out around 12:15 so up I am. She's gotten a bath and now I'm writing to you. You would still be up watching movies on the TV (or sleeping with the TV on)! If you were sleeping when I snuck in to check on you I'd just turn the TV off and let you sleep. It's still strange not doing that any more. Right now I'd just tell you to move over and I'd watch the movie with you. Maria had her "September" party this past weekend. CJ, Ryan, and I went and stayed until 10:30 pm. It was such a nice night and we just sat on the front porch and talked....about you. The one thing we all had in common was how much we still love you and how much we still miss you. I see Ashley told you CJ is now riding a bike! Finally!!!!! I tried to show him and Ryan earlier this year but I guess Brandon was the one to get through to them. Anyway, both of them are riding!!!! CJ does have a few "boo-boos" but he still rides on. He has really gone through a change, Clayce. He is so loving and helpful. He's getting much better at telling me things when they happen instead of after the fact. He's saying he's sorry. But I won't let him say it too much. I let him know when he doesn't have anything to be sorry for. Accidents happen. I just want him to be honest. I'm still going to the gym to make myself acceptable in my eyes and that is pretty hard to do. You would tell me I look fine. But I've got such a long way to go. I gave myself one year to get in shape. I don't want to look like this at 50!! I'm doing this simply for me. I've got to prove something to myself.
Well, Babe, it's almost 2:00 am and I really need to try to go to bed. The alarm is set for 6:00! For some reason I'm doing my third shift hours! You know that 4 hours of sleep and me don't mix. I need 10 hours!!! I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you as always. I miss my best friend! I will always love you forever and a day.
beverly fitch
September 30, 2007
happy 50th birthday Clayce. I love and miss you very much
Ash
September 29, 2007
Well, well, look who's 50!!! Sorry I'm late writing...I couldn't bring myself to get on here. I went to work and realized it was yours and granddaddy's birthday so I looked in the paper and there was your smiling face!!! Of course I cried. Everything at times still seems so messed up without you here! There isn't a day that goes by that I don't tell Brandon about you or think about you. Brandon taught Bubby to ride a bike. He's doing great! But now we're running out of bandades...lol. I gotta go get Momma up. We have to run some errands. Hope your birthday was the best!! You sure are missed in this house! I love you! Until I see you again...
Patrick Engle SR
September 27, 2007
HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY BROTHER,
I LOVE AN MISS YOU VERY
MUCH..
LOVE PATRICK
your lit.brother
September 27, 2007
Hey, Sweetie!!!!
Happy 50th Birthday!! You always told me you wouldn't make it til your 50th birthday and that is one thing I never believed what you said. How wrong I was. Clayce, you should be the one living on. I guess you really are living on in Heaven. What more could you ask for!? CJ has been asking questions about you lately. Would Dad have liked this? What was Dad's favorite rapper? What kind of music did he like? We all still miss you so much. I see that Tattoo Charlie has just joined you all. You almost talked me into getting a tattoo when we went to Florida, remember? That was the closest I've ever gotten. Ashley is making up for me. I still wish I could hear your voice and talk to you when I really needed to....or even when I don't. You had such a nice voice, a beautiful smile, a big heart. I sure do miss you. CJ should be home from school in just a little while. We just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday and to let you know you are loved forever and a day.
ricky bisig
September 27, 2007
Clayce, if you can hear me, YOLONDA
Archie Engle
September 27, 2007
Happy 50th Birthday Fast Eddie!! Love Archie
Patrick Engle Sr.
September 27, 2007
HAPPY BIG 50TH BIRTHDAY CLAYCE
its still hard to beleave its been
4 yrs when i found you,i wish i
could of saved you an you would
still be here w/t us my brother,
i will neverforget that day when i walked in an little cj was
sitting right beside you, an you
was all ready w/t God,i miss you
an love you very much,i wish i
could of done more 4 you brother.
well again happy birthday!!!!
i love you clayce my brother
Patrick:{
July 31, 2007
Hey, Sweetie!
I've been dreaming night after night that you are not gone. You just up and left CJ and me. You are with someone else and she is pregnant. I try to talk to you but you won't talk to me at first. The next dream same thing, but you start to talk to me but you're angry. Why?
Another dream we talked and you said that you had talked to your siblings. I ask you if they told you just how much we still love you and miss you. Your voiced softened and you said yes. I know this is messed up. When you died we were in a good place. Why do I keep having these dreams? Why would you just up and leave CJ? I guess I need to talk with someone about these dreams because I know there is no way that you would have ever left CJ if you had a choice in the matter. I just wish you would come to me with an awesome dream and tell me how crazy I am that you are still here with us the best you can be. I just miss you so much. I might as well forgot about finding anyone else because I just can't seem to give up you. I know you're gone but I still expect to run into you one day, here. I just wish you would come back to me and just talk to me. I miss your voice. I miss your humor. I think abut the time you were getting ready for work and you had on your blue shorts, a vest, slipped on your work shoes and said you were ready to leave. Obviously you all weren't having a lot of business. That was so funny!!! You were one of a kind, Clayce Edward. Well, your son is up now and he's reading to me. I need to pay attention. I just wanted to let you know we are always thinking of you and we will love you forever and a day!
June 17, 2007
Hey, Sweetie!
Happy Father's Day! We wish so much you were here. I miss you so much, Clayce! Today is beautiful, hot, but beautiful. CJ and I will be coming to visit you and Dad today! I still think it is unfair that CJ has to go to a headstone to "see" his Dad. But his friend, Tyler, is going though the same thing today.
CJ is getting to be a young man. I get compliments on him all the time. We did good!! By now you know CJ is in the 4th grade! He really likes McFerran. He will stay there until the 5th grade. I'd thought about moving one more time - back to the east end by the house we used to rent in Whipps Mill. CJ's other friend, Joey, lives there. I always did like the neighborhood. I really wanted to buy Mom's house but I need to be realistic. Unless I would to hit the lottery there is no way I can afford that house. I also know you are watching out for us and keeping an eye on your parents. I will never stop loving you, Clayce. When I think of you I think about my "true love" and "soul mate". You were it. My best friend. I don't see ever having that again. The kids are ready to go and eat. I think we're going to Qdobas. Anyway, we love you, Sweetie! A day doesn't go by that we do not think of you. I loved you in life and my love didn't stop at your death. I'll love you forever and a day.
June 3, 2007
Hey, Sweetie!
I just finished writing to Tony. Two years today......so much has happened in that time. I took CJ and Ryan to Archie's for a haircut Saturday. I found your obit and cried when I read it. Why can't I move on? I know I'm not ready to put my heart out there yet. I don't want to lose it like I always seem to do. I'm not sure if I know of one couple that is truly happy. Any love I may have had in my heart has calcified. My walls are up higher then they have been in a long time. I want to love again but I can't. I've started a new job last week working third shift at BHE. Third shift is not something I was really looking forward too but I had to so I could be home with CJ during the summer.
Ashley is going to take care of him at night. I should be home by 7:00 am and he should be still sleeping. Your brother reminded me that I don't have a man at home so it didn't matter which shift I worked. I know what he was referring to but once again you not being here is a subject I don't like getting into. I know you're not here. I miss you so much! But love isn't on my list of important thing to do. Love hurts. I don't want to hurt any more. I put my heart out there once since you've been gone and that was painful. I guess I got what I deserved. That love is also gone and I'm not putting my heart out there again any time soon. I need to get CJ in bed and get to bed myself. I don't start third until at least 2 more weeks. Patrick and Theresa are helping me watch him when they aren't working. They are true family as well as friends. I will always love you, Clayce Edward, forever and a day!
Ash
April 8, 2007
Happy Easter Clayce!!! I've been laying on the chase all day and suddenly you popped in my head so I had to come tell you Happy Easter!! You've been on my mind a lot lately. I keep thinking what if you were still here. What if you were still here to be with us. We have a crazy household and I know you'd fit right in! Everything has just changed so much and I would give anything for you to be here with us and to be here and watch your son grow....he acts just like you!!! Brandon and I will have been married 1 year in 1 week...I wish you could have met Brandon!! Anyways, I just wanted to wish you a Happy Easter!!!! I gotta get back to Brandon. I love you! Talk to ya soon....
April 6, 2007
Hey, Sweetie!
You are on my mind so much today. I was just thinking back about when we starting talking again and the first time I saw you. I was babysitting Ryan and you came by. I opened the door and there you were with that wonderful, big, white smile of yours! You were wearing a purple silk shirt, black jeans, and black boots. And we just picked right up! I love you, Clayce. Easter is Sunday and I know it will a glorious day in Heaven. This will be Mom's first Easter. I can just imagine her eyes beaming and she is smiling her wonderful smile. I miss her laugh, Clayce. I miss the both of you so much. I've got to get back to work. "I believe that everything I'll ever want and ever need is you. And anything that has ever meant anything to me is you. That's what I believe."
I'll love you, Clayce, forever and a day!
March 29, 2007
Hey, Sweetie!
I know I just wrote to you but I keep having these dreams about you and me still being together. I know we will always be connected, but these dreams are just strange. Every time I have one it's like you're here yet you're slipping away from me. The first time I had this dream you came back and I remember asking you, "What are you doing here?" You told me you never left. You have just been gone for a while. It was like you were gone for 6 months and then all of the sudden you're back. With no real explanation. I explained to you about your "death" and all of us missing you so much. And then I got angry that you would pull such a thing, especially to CJ. How could you leave your son?! And each time you "come back" it's a little less intense, but it always seems to be on the same thing. You have died but you come back and tell me you were just gone for a while. One dream you told me you hooded up with this other woman because she was pregnant with your child and the woman was dying. You told me you loved me and CJ and as soon as she passed you would be back with us. I again got mad that you would leave us for someone else, and again, especially CJ. "How can you do this to your own son?!" A couple of nights ago I had another dream. You haven't been back. We're still together but we haven't heard from you or seen you and it had been some time. I was looking for a divorce lawyer. Some members of your family were asking me to wait until I did that. But I asked "Why? He's not here. We haven't seen him. Why should I hold on to nothing?" I'm thinking about talking to a "dream" specialist but I think I may really already know what I'm feeling. I miss you. I love you. I am still a part of you no matter if you are here or in Heaven. We are connected and we always will be. But I know I will never have you back again the way I want you. I need to be able to let you go and that is the hardest thing for me to do. We're not together because we don't want to be. We're not together because God called you Home. I need to be able to love you but make room for someone else. I'm not in love. I don't know if I'll really ever be in love again. I know there's that part of me that needs to let you go. No matter how I try I always seem to hold on to what we had. Thank you for all the years we kept in touch. And I thank God for the time we actually had together. No one will EVER take your place, Clayce Edward! God destroyed the mode when he made you. Come and visit and tell me you understand. Tell me it's okay to love again. Three years and five months later I still haven't been really able to love. A couple of infatuations maybe, but not true love. I will always love you! Always, Clayce! One day I'll get to see you again. And I will rejoice! But until that day comes know that I'll love you forever and a day.
March 25, 2007
Hey, Sweetie!
Happy Anniversary! Twelve years ago today we finally married! Took us a long time to hook up but we finally did it. You took such good care of us. And then the three of us became four. CJ is every bit your son. People say he looks like me and I do see that. But to me he is a little you. He acts like you and is goofy like you! lol! I'm getting ready to take Ryan home from being with us for the weekend. CJ and Ryan seem to be getting along better. I guess they don't see each other every day now and it makes a difference.
I love you, Clayce Edward. I still love you and miss you so much. I was going to take CJ to visit Mamaw and Papaw today and I just couldn't go up there today. I still feel your presence whenever I go into the house. Your picture is on the wall and I talk to you alot. I only wish you could answer me. I also wish you could have met Alston. Well, I guess you did before he came to be with us. They say he looks like Tony when he was little. He's just such a sweetie. He really loves his Papaw. Can't figure. Well Sweetie, Ryan is ready to leave so I'm going to close. I just wanted you to know that CJ and I miss you so much and we will always love you forever and a day.
Here's to another 12 years!
March 3, 2007
Hey, Sweetie!
This month has been full of memories from the start. On the 25th of March we would have been married 12 years! What would the last three years have been like? So much has changed. Even me. But one thing has not changed and will never change......I love you and miss you so much! I watched two videos this past week and it felt as if my heart was just ripped back out again. "Watching You" is about a small son watching his Daddy and doing what he does. The video is about you and CJ from the McDonald's to the first curse word to them riding on their Four-Wheel vehicles to the Buckaroo nick-name. I started to cry at work. I just couldn't keep from it. Then I saw "I Miss My Friend" video which is you and me. I cried again. I do miss my best friend. I miss my love. I miss my soul mate. No one will ever be able to take your place. I don't even know if I can really love someone again. I haven't met anyone quite like you. Maybe that's a good thing! lol! I just wanted you to know I still love you and I will talk to you again on our 12th Anniversary.
I love you, Baby, forever and a day!
Ash
February 8, 2007
Hey! I haven't written to you in awhile....things have just been crazy! Anyways, things today took a sudden change!
I just wanted to let you know that Maxine is on her way to be with you! I let Copper, Zoey, and Molly out this morning and kept yelling for mooch to come up and get something to eat and drink and she wouldn't come up. I thought she was just sleeping so I stayed inside for a couple of hours and then went back out and yelled for her. I walked down to her house and I found her there. We think she died in her sleep. She had the bedding in there so she didn't get cold. You take good care of mooch!!! We'll all see you two one day! I love you! Give Max a kiss for me...I'll talk to you later...
January 8, 2007
Hey Sweetie!
I know it's been forever since I've written in here but don't think for one minute that one day goes by that we don't think of you. You are constantly on my mind. I'm sorry for not writing at Christmas, New Year's and our son's birthday but we finally moved and the computer is still not up right. I'm getting there but It's not totally working yet. Too many wires for me! Christmas was so quiet. I know Mom had an awesome first Christmas being able to celebrate Christ's birthday first hand. And then she was there with all her family and you. Once again we missed you so much at Christmas. It's just that a part of me just doesn't exist without you. I try to "get over it" and sometimes I can. I will never forget you or stop loving you. I still have only met one person that I would have liked to have gone out with since you left but that wasn't meant to be. I believe I know what kind of man I want but as of yet I haven't met him. No one will ever replace you, Clayce Edward! Since I'm talking to you at work I need to get off of here because people are walking around. I will get the computer at home working and talk to you again soon!
I love you, Clayce, forever and a day!
Ash
November 25, 2006
Hey! Happy Late Thanksgiving!! Sorry I haven't been able to write sooner...it's been crazy! Christmas shopping for us is almost done! YAY! Brandon and I have been watching bubby a lot lately since Momma got another job...now we work at the same place...ha. She seems to be always gone and she's been tired a lot but we know she'll be okay after Christmas! Hopefully we'll be moving soon!!! We can't wait to get out of this house and into the other one! We should know when we're closing any day now. I'm going to get off here...Bubby, Brandon, and I are watching Harry Potter and we'll be leaving in a little while to go to Brandon's grandma's house so we'll talk to ya later...I love you!
November 24, 2006
Hey, Sweetie~
Happy Thanksgiving a day late. It's 4:30 am and I've been awake since about 3:30. I've been thinking of you and Mom and Tony. Alston James turned one this week and I think about how he never got to meet his dad. And I have our son and how much I wish you were here to continue to watch him grow. He remembers things the two of you would do and talks about them. We laugh. We cry. I talked to someone you used to work with. He didn't know you had passed and Patrick told him. After I hung up I just cried. Sometimes I can talk about you and it never bothers me. But there are those other times when it rips my heart out that you are no longer with us. I still love you and I still miss you. I took CJ over to visit Mamaw and Papaw last night for a little bit and we also wished Leesa a Happy Birthday. It was a busy week down here! I've started another job for the holidays. Ashley and Brandon are helping out a lot. I go for an interview Monday night for a part time warehouse job. That one pays more and I'm going to try to keep all three jobs until after Christmas. I'm going to loose my check so I may as well go out with a bang! I know you understand why I have to do this. It looks like we could possibly be in our house by Christmas. There is my present. I'm finally moving out to an area where I think you would have liked to live. Come visit any time you want to. I've had some good people helping me and I believe God will bless this move. I have to work today and I plan on putting in 8 hours. I'm going in at 6:00 am and it is now 4:45 am and I need to jump in the shower. I just had to talk to you this morning and to let you know that we are always thinking of you and loving you and missing you. You will be loved forever and a day.
October 20, 2006
Hey, Sweetie!
Three years ago today I lost you. I have missed you so much every day
and I have thought about you every day as well. I still can not understand why it was your time to go Home. I think God understands why I have a problem with this, but I also believe it was your time and you have been blessed. I still miss my best friend, my lover, my husband and the father of my son. CJ reminds me so much of you. I know it's in the genes since you aren't here to show him things and he acts like you anyway. He's also a sweetie, like you were. I know I am a day late on writing you, but I couldn't get on at work so I had to come over to use Patrick's. I thought about you all day and cried as usual. Patrick, Theresa and I have been just talking about that day. God knew what he was doing with the way people found out and Patrick taking care of CJ the way he did. If I would have been there I'm sure I would have messed his little mind up. That was a day from Hell. After EMS told me you were gone I really don't remember a whole lot about that day. I remember everyone being there. I remember certain people trying to help with CJ and me. But alot of it is just a blur. I do remember that I loved you and still do to this day. I remember the pain and at times it all comes back. I guess a part of me will never let you go. Last night while Ashley and I were talking in the kitchen I felt a cool breeze....the doors were closed as well as all the windows so I know you came to be with us. I wasn't afraid. I welcomed you. I hope you will come and visit again very soon. I want to tell you again how very much I love you and miss you. And we will always love you forever and a day.
beverly fitch
October 19, 2006
just wanted you to know my life has never been the same since I got that call that you had passed away. I think of you everyday and miss you more than you will ever know. I love you...
beverly fitch
September 29, 2006
happy birthday clayce. I love and miss you.
Kathy
September 28, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sweetie!
As usual I'm a day late and a dollar short. I had you a long note written, but couldn't seem to get it sent. First I needed a Surname and Password (what's that?) and then we had a storm so I had to shut down the computer. But.... I did go and visit you yesterday. We talked. I cried. The flowers weren't roses but they were from the heart and I know that is all that matters to you. I hope you and Dad had a wonderful celebration in Heaven. Just because I didn't write to you yesterday don't think I wasn't thinking of you all day. I was. I was thinking how you would have been 49! Next year we could of had a big party for that big 50! You always told me that you would never make it to 50. How did you know that? How were you feeling? Sometimes I wonder if you held more back from me then I realized.
I'm going to go and do more paper work to get the house. It's a major pain!
We will love you and miss you forever and a day.
PATRICK
September 28, 2006
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MY BROTHER,
TILL WE MEET AGAIN,MISS YA AN LUV YA
YOUR LITTLE BRO
PATRICK
Ash
September 28, 2006
Happy Belated Birthday! Sorry I didn't get to ya yesterday...it's been crazy! We close on our house next week! It's so exciting!!!! Mom says that this is the last time she's moving....(yeah right...lol). Anyways, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday!!!! I have to get back to work, but I'll talk to ya later. I love you! See ya....
archie engle
September 27, 2006
Happy Birthday little bro,miss&love you,Archie (face)
September 19, 2006
Hey Sweetie!
It's 3:45 am and I can't sleep. I've been awake since before 3:00. It has to be the new medicine I'm on. I guess my body needs time to adjust. I was lying there thinking about Mom and all the "what ifs" I coulda/shoulda done. But just like you, there was nothing I could do. When God calls you home I don't think you can tell him "wait a minute". I met Tony's little boy. Clayce, he is beautiful. But you met him first didn't you?! He has the sweetest smile! I believe Archie is just a proud Papaw. I can hear you talking baby talk and making that squeeky noice you made. CareyAnne seems very nice and loves that baby. She fits right in!
Molly was just gripping at me. She was up in CJ's room and wanted to come down. She won't go up or down the two steps leading to CJ's room. Speaking of CJ's room....we are buying a house! It is beautiful and perfect for what we needed. We close on it Oct. 3. Please come visit. We would all like to talk with you again. CJ is getting so big. He is your son. He is built just like you and he is so silly sometimes. He can come off with some of the most off the wall stuff and I just laugh! Ashley and Brandon are still trying for a baby. As much as that baby will be loved I've told her not to rush into it. God will bless them when He is ready. All of us are getting along great. Maria asked me if I was dating anyone yet. I just laughed. I still love you. It's almost three years, Clayce! Three long years of trying to find our footing. And we are making it. I wasn't ready to let you go and sometimes I ask God to help me let go. I will always love you. I still think we were meant to be together. We both just had to change. I was so lucky to have the last 8 1/2 years of your life to share with you. You were my world. It's so hard to lose that. If I made any mistakes just remember what time it is! Well Sweetie, I'm going to say hi to Tony and then try to sleep. It's 4:10am and I need to be up in less then three hours. Today will be a long day. Oh, we went to Chenoweth's Family Night at GattieLand last night. It was fun. I just like watching CJ run up to his friends. This little boy came up to me and asked where Clayce was. I said who? I'm not used to hear anyone call him Clayce but they do in this class. Maybe he'll want to be called Clayce when he is older. I always thought what a beautiful name it was and is. Now I'm going! I just needed to talk to you. I love you. I miss you and always will.
We love you forever and a day.
September 7, 2006
Hi, Sweetie!
Today is beautiful outside but dark inside of me. I love you and miss you so much! It seems as if everything is building up until I feel like I could scream!
On a pleasent note, you will be having a birthday in 20 days! We have been looking at a house off of the Outer Loop which would be nice because we would be closer to you and Mom and Dad. Today I just thought about coming out to the cemetery to just sit and talk. Right now I'm just exhausted mentally. I need to go to Mom's and pack up some of her stuff. That situation is just a mess too.
What do you think about Tony's baby? It's nice for Joann and Archie to actually have another piece of Tony to touch and hold. I'm going to call CareyAnne and see if CJ and I can come out to visit soon.
I know this was a short note but I will write back very soon. I just want you to know I love you and I will protect CJ in every way I can. We will love you forever and a day!
Ash
July 5, 2006
Hey! I'm sitting here at work watching Montel. Sylvia Brown is on there and everyone is asking her about loved ones who have passed on. I was so tempted to call in and ask about you and Mimi. Just once I would like to hear from you all. You all could come to me in a dream...or even Momma...go to her in a dream. You've been gone for almost 3 years. Sometimes it still feels like yesterday. Even Mimi, she's been gone almost 2 months, and it still seems unreal. I still don't understand why God had to take you. We were finally getting along(well, you know what I mean..lol), and things were starting to look up. You and Momma were getting along great! We're taking Bubby to Holiday World this weekend. I love that place! The few memories that I have of there included you. It was so much fun! Things have just changed so much. It seems like everything's gotten worse! We're trying to keep our heads up...I never knew how hard life was! Momma, Brandon, and I are busting our butts to pay off bills and try to save for a house. I still don't know if we're going to get a house with Momma and Bubby or we're going to get our own house. I guess for now we're staying with Momma...she doesn't mind...:) We're trying to move away from the hill. It's um...changed since we were all younger. It's just...too much. I know you know exactly what I'm talking about! Momma and I have been working out a lot lately. We've been going to the gym a few times a week and we're walking 3 miles almost every night. I'm sure you've had your laughs watching us...we're not exactly pros and we get goofy when we're walking. It's fun though...and we know we're burning calories. I kinda like living with Momma again. Brandon doesn't mind...for now. lol. It's like old times, except you're not there. Well, you're all over the place in pictures and Bubby...but you know what I mean. Sometimes I just miss you so much. I wanted you to meet Brandon! He acts just like you! lol. I know you would have been proud of me picking him out! lol. Anyways, I need to get off here so I can get some work done. I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you! I love you! Talk to you later!
July 4, 2006
Hey, Sweetie!
I have so often said if I had a choice who to marry, I married the right man for me. I just wasn't expecting you to leave so soon. There is not another person like you. I'm sure there will never be. I stop and think how special you were (most of the time!) and how everyone is so different from each other. God has an unique way that he has wired up each of us and you were so special to me. We just sort of seemed to fit. I have made so many mistakes in trying to grow from your death. I have come to realize how fake people are. I try to look inwards and start from there to make sure my intentions are honest and sincere. I have trusted the wrong people. I can't say I regret telling things from the heart because they are sincere. I just regret who I have shared my feelings with. But, you know me.....I am learning and I will grow from this. I will make something positive from your death. I know you haven't had any pain since you went Home. I used to watch you in the mornings trying to get your balance and walk on the bad foot. Just in case I never told you, I hurt with each step you took and I knew there wasn't a thing I could do to relieve that pain. I guess I just wanted to tell you how much I miss you. I want you to know just how much I still love you. I get uptight when I hear others down their spouses. I realize what a special union they have. I just tell them I don't want to hear that they don't love their spouse. If they didn't they wouldn't still be there. Be honest...I love my spouse, I just don't love all the things they do or the way they act. Sorry about going on, Babe, but I just want others to know just how lucky they are to have someone to come home to. I miss that. I need to go. CJ just fell asleep on the couch and I need to get him to bed. I just wanted to tell you I love you and I will love you forever and a day.
Kathy
June 18, 2006
Hey, Sweetie!
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
We wake up to another Father's Day without you. But you are always with us and on our minds. We still love you so much and just really miss you. I hate having Father's Day without you. I hate having birthdays without you. I hate having holidays without you. I just hate not having you. But don't think for a minute that we will ever stop thinking of you and loving you because that will never happen. Happy Father's Day my Love. We will love you forever and a day.
June 3, 2006
Hey, Sweetie!
I just finished writing to Tony. I can't believe it's been a year. You are heading on your third year. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. Sometimes the hurt isn't as bad. But when the bad hits, it hits! Mom has been gone almost three weeks and I miss her so much. But I do know she is happy. I can feel it. No more migraines. No more backaches. She's perfect as are you and Tony. I've been avoiding going to church because Mom was with me. I guess it's time I go back and celebrate her new life instead of mourning the old life. Sometimes it just seems easier to run and hide instead of facing things head on. I just needed a breather from all of it so I could regroup. Well, Sweetie, I need to get motivated this morning. I just wanted to let you know that I'll love you forever and a day!
Kathy
May 31, 2006
Hey Sweetie!
Clayce, I need you so much! I lost you 2.5 years ago and now I'm trying to deal with loosing Mom and I'm not dealing with it very well. I don't have anyone to talk to. CJ is much too young. Ashley and Brandon are awesome but they don't need to have me crying on their shoulder. I just want to scream! I need someone to hold me and tell me it will soon be okay. I don't have that and the way it looks I will never have it. I just don't understand what is wrong with me. What have I done to deserve loosing everyone I love. Thank God for the kids. It's just I don't have you here and now I don't have Mother. The pit of my stomache feels like it's being ripped out. And I want to cry. I want to punch the wall. I want to scream.
CJ is having a couple of boys to spend the night and I need to help put a movie in. I love you so very much, Clayce.
I really just needed to talk to you. I will always love you forever and a day.
Kathy
May 17, 2006
Hey, Sweetie!
So much has happened but I guess you already know and were there to welcome "Blue Hair" Home. Clayce, I can't believe she's gone! God has taken two of my best friends. I am so tired of losing people I love. I needed you so badly this past weekend. I needed you to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. I needed to feel me engulfed in those big arms of yours and you just hold me. I felt so totally alone in that hospital on Saturday. I know God was there and he saw every tear I cried. I haven't felt that helpless in probably 2.5 years. I couldn't help you and I couldn't help Mom. You help her and show her around. Keep care of my Mom, Clayce! Love her for me there as I continue to love her here. I hope you know just how much I do still love you. And I WILL love you forever and a day.
Ash
April 18, 2006
Hey! We just got home tonight from the honeymoom! We went to Gatlinburg and it was great! We did everything possible around that place and we rented a chalet and stayed there. It was so beautiful up there. We will def. go back up there! It's nice to be home though. I was getting home sick. I misssed Momma, Bubby, and Copper so we drove home as fast as we could. I'm going to finish unpacking now...I have to go to work in the morning so I need to get the bed cleaned off so that I can go to bed. I know you were there at my wedding! Thank you!! I love you!
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