Joseph J. Falvo Jr.
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(Asbury Park Press)

JOSEPH J. FALVO, JR.
AGE: 71 MIDDLETOWN
Joseph J. Falvo, Jr., 71, of Middletown, passed away on Thursday, September 10, 2009, at home. He was born in Red Bank and resided in Red Bank before moving to Middletown 47 years ago. He graduated from Red Bank High School in 1956 and served his country in the United States Army from 1956-1958. He was also a US Army Europe welter weight boxing champion. Upon his return from Europe, he was employed at the Red Bank Register as a linotype operator. He then became a sales representative with Shore Point Distributors, Freehold, retiring in 2005 after 33 years of very devoted service. As a volunteer coach for Middletown Youth Girls' Athletic League (MYGAL), he enjoyed some of the best years of his life coaching his daughter's basketball, baseball, and Power Puff football teams. In his prime, his spare time involved distance running and competing on baseball and basketball local teams. He was an ardent fan of the New York Yankees, a diehard Cleveland Browns fan, and a Boston Celtics fan. He also enjoyed watching boxing matches from his "ringside" recliner, loved vacationing in Naples, Florida, as well as traveling and visiting many of America's most spectacular sights.
He is predeceased by his parents, Joseph J. Falvo, Sr. and Vera (Fiore) Falvo. Surviving are his wife of 46 years, Constance "Connie" J. (DiFedele) Falvo; his daughter MaryAnn Balda and her husband LTC (Ret) J. Scott Balda of Middletown; and brothers Anthony Falvo of Red Bank, William Falvo of Lambertville, John Falvo of Shrewsbury, and his sister Judith Cleary of Hazlet.
Visitation will be held on Sunday, September 13, 2009, from 2-4 & 7-9 p.m. at John E. Day Funeral Home, 85 Riverside Avenue, Red Bank, NJ. A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated at 10 a.m. on Monday, September 14, 2009, at St. Anthony of Padua RC Church, Red Bank. Interment to follow at Mt. Olivet Cemetery, Middletown. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations can be made to Riverview Medical Center, One Riverview Plaza, Red Bank, NJ. Letters of condolence can be e-mailed to the funeral home's website www.sidun.com.


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Published in Asbury Park Press on Sep. 12, 2009.
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Until We Meet AGain
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Bernie and JJ
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Napa Valley
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Danny and his wife, Marissa
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Dad in the Army
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Aunt Judy and Uncle Billy
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Joseph J. Falvo, Jr
June 15, 1938 to September 10, 2009

Eulogy

My father was a loving husband, father, brother, uncle and friend.

As a loving husband, my father protected and provided for my mother for over 40 years. He worked three jobs to send her to college so she could become a teacher and fulfill her dreams. He was an extremely loyal and trusting husband and always the first to defend my mother no matter if she was wrong or right. My father was home every night for my mother and never did anything without her. He was so proud of my mother's accomplishments and would brag to his friends what a great teacher she was being the very first to start the High Achievement Program (HAP) in her school district. He had nothing, but complimentary things to say about my mother and defended her to the day he died. He was unselfish, thoughtful, kind and a gentleman to the greatest degree. He would always open the door for my mother and carry all her packages when they went shopping. When going out to restaurants, he would literally face the wall, so my mom could have the best view. He loved to take my mom shopping and loved buying her new clothes.but, be very careful if my mom was driving to the mall and he fell asleep in the car. When he woke up, he would sometimes find himself arriving at a shopping center at a totally different location on the other side of the state. This happened on several occasions. He didn't mind and went along with my mother's frequent change of plans.

One thing I noticed about my parents was that they always kept each other good company. If I went anywhere with them, they held each conversation like it was their first very interested in what each other had to say. And, my dad always made my mother laughhe made her laugh until he the day he died with his witty sense of humor and funny gestures. In fact, I had asked my mom a while back what attracted her to my dad and she said it was his sense of humor and that he always made her laugh. My dad loved when people were happy and enjoying themselveshe knew the right things to say to make you smile. Just the other day, I was working from their house in my office and my mom was alone with my dad in the other room. He said something to her and I just heard my mom laughing hysterically. I thought to myself through all this pain and agony that my dad has endured, he still makes my mom laugh. One day, I went over to my parents' house and saw my mom was frantically running around the house looking for her car key. She claimed that my dad misplaced it and was ranting and raving how my dad always loses everything. Apparently, my dad found the key and mischievously tied it around a string and wore it around his neck like a necklace to play a joke on my mom. My mom never looked up to see the key around my dad's neck. Then, after about 20 minutes, she finally looked up in her rage of anger and saw the key around my dad's neck. Her anger quickly turned to hysterical laughter.. And, that's how their relationship lasted all these years.

As a loving father, he was strong (inside and out), respected, loyal, supportive and first to compliment me and give me confidence. He was kind and thoughtful and never put himself first. I respected and loved my father more than life itself. He was a strong-willed and moral man who spent his life unselfishly teaching others by example. When I think of my father, the first thing that comes to my mind is respect. Respect was one of my dad's greatest qualities. He received respect and gave it out without discretion of who you were or what your status. As I mentioned last year at my wedding, my father taught me that it doesn't matter where you are in the food chain CEO of a major financial company, grocery clerk or mailman, if you do not have respect, you are nobody. I respected my father more than anyone in the world.

My father loved to coach my softball teams and also basketball and powderpuff football games. He would make sure he worked later on the night before my games, so he could get off on time to make the 6pm start of my games. He taught me how to be a team player and gave me the confidence I needed that carried on to this day. He has given me great inner strength that enabled me to be up here talking to you today. I owe my career and who I am today to my dad giving me the guidance and support I needed. When I first started working after college, I started out at a job which I didn't likefor 8 months, I was reviewing government documents and bored out of my mind. I was a computer programmer right out of college and needed something more interesting to work on. Well, I saw an announcement in my company for a computer programmer on a computer and operating system that I was not experienced. But, I still applied for the job. The manager told me that he would think about it and get back to me. So, the next day, I was playing softball at a company picnic and that manager was watching the game. I was playing center field and a fly ball got hit out to me and I ran back and made a pretty good catch. Well, the day after that when we were back at work, the manager came up to me and told me that I got the job. I was shocked, but happy at the same time. He said to me, you're not qualified for this job, but I'm going to give you a shot for having the guts to apply for it and catching that ball in center field yesterday. Anybody who can make a catch like that, can play on my team any day. And, that particular job jumpstarted my entire career. It was my father who taught me how to play on a team, have a competitive edge and gave me the confidence that I can do anything I want with some hard work attached.

My father was a very compassionate and forgiving man. He was always available to lend a helping handespecially to the elderly. He would make sure his 91-year-old neighbor wasn't alone on holidays and would invite her to his house. I remember one neighbor who lived across the street. I really didn't care for him because he was always flaunting, to my father, how he was a great engineer at AT&T and always pointing out if a leaf was out of place in my dad's lawn my dad kept his yard immaculate and was always working around his yard on weekends. This neighbor was retired and remember one day he came over to my father as my dad was getting out of his car coming home from work.he starts to complain about some dirt in the street left from the construction workers that put in our in ground pool. My dad had a few choice words for him, but got over it. Nothing would rock my father and he was still friendly. Then, one day, the neighbor had a stroke which left him partially handicapped. That winter, it snowed really bad and I was outside helping my dad shovel our driveway. After we were done, he started to go to this neighbor's house with his shovel and told me to come with him. I was complaining how I didn't like this man and didn't want to help him, but listened to my father, and helped him shovel our neighbor's driveway. At the time, I was disgusted and didn't understand why were we helping out this neighbor that was nothing, but mean to my dad. Later on, I realized just how forgiving my dad really was. My dad was able to forgive and help out a friend in need. He had the biggest heart and would always help out a friend never expecting anything in return. I respected him so much.

My father was one hard-working man. He never missed a day of work in his life with the exception of his heart attack and cancer operations. He worked from when he was 6 years old on my grandfather's bread truck. I remember when I was young, he worked at the Red Bank Register paper, then would work at nights at the liquor store, then cutting lawns on weekends and even managed to go to night school for a computers. His strong work ethic lasted his entire life. He finally retired four years ago and I just wish he had more time to enjoy his retirement with my mother. But, I am thankful for the time I spent with my parents during my father's retirement I flew them out to California one year, then to Arizona the next and played tour guide for a few weeks. We went to San Francisco and enjoyed Alcatraz, Fisherman's Wharf, Napa Valley, and Carmelthen flew them to Scottsdale and went to Sedona and the Grand Canyon. My dad really enjoyed himself. We also took several trips to NYC via the ferry and walked the Riverwalk on the Hudson and took carriage rides in Central park and even got my dad to go to a Broadway show. My dad was willing to try just about anything.he came with us to the Halloween pet parade in Smithville where the animals got dressed up he thought that was really cool.we also went to see Imax shows and he would walk on the boardwalk with me on weekend mornings. Those memories will always be with me.

His friends would tell me that he was so proud of me and that his face would light up every time he mentioned my name or I would walk in the room. On the day he died, a policewoman came to our home. This same policewoman was at our house just last month when my dad fell and cracked his head and eye socket. I heard her telling the hospice nurse, at my parents' house, how much she knew my dad loved me. She was telling the nurse that even though my dad fell and cracked his head and was lying on the floor in blood, he smiled when he saw me.

My father was a very generous man. He would always invite friends for dinner and over for the holidays. He would have super bowls parties at his house and fight nights to watch boxing matches. He would invite his family, his friends and my friends too. He enjoyed joking around with his brothers and loved his sister, Judy. I know he was very protective with my Aunt Judy alsoeven when they were young, he had to discipline' a boy or two if they weren't acting appropriate to my aunt in high school. My friends loved hanging around my father. They feared and respected him at the same time. They loved the conversation yet knew when to shut up. He was the center of attention whenever I had a party and everyone always seemed to gravitate to my dad. I was so proud to have him around.

My father was strict and not afraid to say what was on his mind. To most, he was intimidating. I grew up fearless when he was aroundfor he was always there to protect me. I knew, he would protect with his life and I was never afraid of anything as long as he was near. When I was living at home and boyfriends would come over to pick me up, I would have to prep them before they came telling them they must give my dad a firm handshake and look him in the eye. My father had a gift of street smarts and would weed out the undesirables a lot faster than I could. In fact, I would pray that nobody ever hurt me because he said that if they did, he would hunt them down, burry them to their neck, stick them in the closet and kick them every day in the head. Ugh, I didn't want some jerk in my closet with his head sticking out. Luckily, I was never harmed and never in trouble.

I want to thank a few people that have helped us out in this most difficult time. First, I need to thank my best friend, Robbie Ferrigno. My father loved you like a son and was so proud of you and respectful of who you are. Robbie spend months with us driving up to Sloan Kettering in NYC for endless tests and operations that my dad needed to fight his cancer. He did not only drive us all there, but safely dropped off my parents in front of the hospital. I could not have done this alone without you. Robbie was so supportive to my father and so helpful with his positive outlook and questions for the doctors. He genuinely cared about my father like his own father and it showed in everything he did. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I want to thank friends and family for coming to visit my dad at home and also in the hospital at Sloan Kettering in NYC. I want to thank my manager at work for letting my take off time to go to doctor visits with my dad and work at my parents' house every other Friday. During this last week, I was fortunately enough to work from their house every day. I will always remember your kindness.

Diane telling dad about he's the man of the world. Robbie saying he never met a man that loved his wife and daughter more than him. Thank you both for the kind words.

Most of all, I want to thank my husband, Scott, for all your love and support through this difficult time. My father loved you like a son alsobut, I'm glad you're not my brother. My father was so proud of you becoming a LTC in the Army and totally enjoyed talking to you about your life in the Army and loved that you listened to his own Army stories too. He was so happy when we got married and knew he could leave this world knowing that both his daughter and wife would be looked after and protected by you. Thank you for making my father happy and giving him that peace of mind.

Finally, I would like to thank my dad for my wonderful childhood and fulfilling my life with unconditional love and support. He would always tell me that I was his pride and joy and would tell me how proud he was of me.

My father never let me down. I could count on him for anything. All the cancer in the world couldn't stop my father from walking me down the aisle last year. He grabbed his walker and escorted me to the alter to get married after a major spinal fusion operation which left him hunched over with a back filled of rods and screws. He always kept his word and I trusted him more than anyone else in the entire world. He taught me the importance of trust and he knew he could count on me for anything too.

I am grateful to my father for going through life always feeling protected and safe. He was so brave and had so much courage. I feel sorry for those who have never experienced what I have and I want to tell you that it's the greatest feeling in the world knowing that somebody loves you that much and would sacrifice their own life to keep you safe.

What greater achievement can any man have other than having a wife and daughter that respects and loves him so much that they would die for him. My father has achieved the respect from his family and friends that most people never get to see in their lifetimes. My father can leave this world knowing he made a difference and will always be remembered by everyone who loved him. I will always love you, dad, and you will be in my heart forever.
MaryAnn Balda
May 9, 2018
May 9, 2018
May 9, 2018
May 9, 2018
June 28, 2010
Dearest Connie, As I searched for you and your sister I came upon Joe's obituary. I would like to extend my deepest sympathy to you and your family. May happy memories of Joe bring you comfort in the years ahead. Donna Taylor MacGregor
January 15, 2010
Dear Mrs.Falvo and Mary Ann

My deepest thoughts and prays are with your family. Mr Falvo was a wonderful husband and father. I will remember him always as a kind and wonderful man.
Brian Lang
December 17, 2009
Mary Ann and Mrs. Falvo,
I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you, especially this time of year. Your father and husband was a wonderful and courageous man who loved his family more than anything. I only met him a few times but always remember how warm and friendly he was and fun to be around. I can tell from all these entries that he was loved very much by all who had the pleasure to know him.
Jane Hand
December 7, 2009
Dad in Bermuda (Mom taking pix)
December 6, 2009
Dear Connie and Mary Ann,

It is with deep felt sympathy I express my condolence to you and Mary Ann. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the Falvo family.

I was honored to know Joe. I will never forget his warm smile, sparkling eyes and kindness. But, most of all his deep love for you and Mary Ann. He was so proud of his family, and rightly so.

Most people go thru life without ever knowing someone like Joe.

I was fortunate and lucky to have known him.

God Bless Joe and the Falvo family.
E L Katz
December 1, 2009
Mr. Falvo was a devoted husband and father. He treated everyone he knew with dignity and respect and in my opinion there are no greater compliments that you can pay an individual. I am happy to have known him and proud to be able to call him my friend. I have no doubt that God will soon be a Browns fan.
Bruce Barreca
November 23, 2009
My Joey
November 22, 2009
Joe,

Go to the pole and buttonhook.

Anthony
Anthony Falvo
November 17, 2009
Joseph J Falvo Jr.

Fighter, Husband, Father.

I know this not from my life with Mr. Falvo, but from what you, friends and family, have said since I've joined your family.

Fighter:
- Warrior for our nation, a paratrooper of the earliest kind.
- Welter Weight Champion in USAEUR. No small feat among 200,000 Warriors defending Central Europe from Communist aggression.
- Fought for his beliefs, and got fired for it! Not many can do that and still provide for his family.

Husband:
- "Blue Eyes", the Love of his life. Many desired, one captured. His devotion was unquestioned and limitless.
- He was a dedicated salesman, to provide for his wife and daughter the best that he could.
- Positive, always had a positive attitude and disposition in the home, something we can all learn from.

Father:
- Pride of his life. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for his daughter.
- Loving. Always encouraging and finding the good in what she has done. Reinforcing positive growth.
- Doting. Making sure she had the best and learned the key skills of life.

A mentor of mine once told me this; "The measure of a Leader is not what happens when he's there, but what happens when he's not there."

Mr. Falvo still commands respect and reverence when he's not with us anymore, that is a measure of a true Leader of the community.

He lived his life to his own drum, and others respected that and honor him with their remberences here.

I personally thank him for raising a strong and vibrant woman whom found me worthy to be now be called Husband.

She learned from a Leader, now we must measure up as we live on.

Scott
Scott Balda
November 8, 2009
I will really miss the great stories Uncle Joe would tell me about him and my dad when they were growing up. He would always stop by Herbert St. on Saturday's when my dad and I were working on houses and chat with us for a while. I would always discuss stocks with him and he loved it. So did I. He was really proud investing in Microsoft and did very well with it. He always had a big smile when he came to see me and I will miss this the most of all.

God Bless You Uncle Joe!

My thoughts and prayers go out to both MaryAnn and Aunt Connie. His memories will live with us forever!
AJ Falvo
November 5, 2009
Dear MaryAnn and Mrs. Falvo,
Still so hard to believe that he's gone.Feels so different knowing he's not there when I stop by.I miss him.
Some people never have true love in their life. Whether it's from a spouse or a parent, but you both were blessed to have it. I know this does'nt take away your pain, but I hope it does console you a bit. Mr. Falvo was, and is, a great guy. He's still living somewhere, just not here. As Jesus said, " I am the God of the living, not the dead." And all we have to do is believe that, and follow Him, and we can all have eternal life.
Hang in there. We miss him, but let's try to be thankful for having the priveledge to be his wife, daughter, and friend. And try to live our lives to the fullest, as you know he would want us to. Always, always knowing, that we will all (my dad, too), be together again. Love, Your friend, Robbie
November 4, 2009
Aunt Connie and Cousin MaryAnn,

I was so sorry to hear about Uncle Joe's passing and I want to express my deepest sympathies to you both for your loss. He was a great uncle to me and my sister and I'm sure he was an even better father and husband.

I know that you both must be going through an incredibly difficult time right now, but I hope that you can take some small comfort in knowing that at least he is finally free of all the pain which he had to endure for so long.

Love,
Ron Cleary
October 13, 2009
Dear MaryAnn and Mrs. Falvo,

As I read all of these entries, I feel at a loss for not knowing what to say. I did not have the pleasure of knowing Mr. Falvo but for a few of meetings in preparation for your wedding MaryAnn. I can say that I truly enjoyed meeting him. He was very charming, funny and quite gracious in putting aside his discomfort and making us feel very at home. I wish that I could have known him much better.

I know that you and Mrs. Falvo have been through so much with his fight. I wish you comfort in that he is not in pain any longer and that as someone else has said, "Time really does heal. It will not completely heal but it will get better."
Karen Peterson
October 10, 2009
MaryAnn and Connie,

Lyn and I are so sorry for your loss. We only met Mr. Falvo once but we’ll always remember the fun time we had together at the Tortilla Factory in Old Town.

Our prayers and thoughts are with you.
Lyn and Doug Mras
October 6, 2009
Dad shaking Mr. Ferrigno's hand
October 2, 2009
Dear MaryAnn & Connie,

It doesn't seem fair to lose those we love. But you can take some solace in the wonderful life and love that you three shared. In reading over the tributes from others I realized how lucky my family was to have had such a kind and caring man as Mr.Falvo for a neighbor, even if only for a short while.
Although the pain of being seperated seems impossible to bear, those we love never really leave us. I hope this little poem will give you some comfort.
'Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us everyday,
Unseen, unheard but
always near, still loved,
still missed and very dear.'

I will be thinking of you both and remembering Mr. Falvo in my prayers.

Janet Nolan, Navesink, NJ
September 30, 2009
Dear Connie & Mary Ann:

Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this most difficult time.
Connie, you were the love of Joe's life
and Mary Ann, he was so proud of you.
May he rest in peace.

Love, Gail and Family 9/30/09
Gail Cassidy
September 30, 2009
MaryAnn and Mrs. Falvo,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I met Mr. Falvo just once when I was visiting MaryAnn for her birthday. Both he and Mrs. Falvo came over to her place and I can still remember how much positive energy I felt from you both. Mr. Falvo was so full of life and so sweet and smiling the whole time. I instantly thought what a great guy. Not everyone gives off those vibes, but he certainly did. From everything MaryAnn had always told me about him, I felt they had such a special relationship. I know this must be such a hard time for both of you. But I hope knowing there was so much love you all had for each other helps a little bit.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Mary Rieber
September 29, 2009
Dear MaryAnn and Connie,
My heart goes out to you both as well as to your family. I hope that fond memories of Joe's life as a father and a husband, and his love for both of you makes each day a little easier to face. The pain of losing a parent or a spouse may never really go away, but as time goes on I hope the sadness gives way to a smile or 2 as you think of some past fond memory. Time really does heal and help us thru, though I know right now it doesn't seem like that will ever be. I am so glad I got to see Mr. Falvo again when Janet, Nancy and I got together with you during my visit back to NJ. I'll always have fond memories of you all from "back in the day" when we were living on Conover Place. Though I didn't have the privilege of knowing Mr. Falvo thru the years after we moved, it's apparent that his was a life well lived. May his love & yours bring you comfort in the coming days.
Susan Burke
September 29, 2009
MaryAnn Dog-Sledding in Alaska
September 29, 2009
MaryAnn hiking in Alaska
September 29, 2009
Robbie toasting at MaryAnn and Scott's wedding
September 29, 2009
Mom & Dad boarding the River Queen
September 28, 2009
Maryann, though I didn't know your dad very well, I know by the person you are and by the things that you do and by the way you live your life, that he was a very special man and a loving, adoring father and husband to you and your mom. I could see also in the love and care that you both gave him in the years that he suffered that he was an incredible and amazing person. So, as you and your mom move forward in this life, remember that you are always a reflection of your dad and the beautiful love he had for both of you. I believe it is in this way that we always know that the people we've had the honor of knowing in this life are never really gone from us because they will always shine through us, in a hug, in a handshake, through a kind word or a helping hand. I'm so sorry that I didn't know your dad better because I'm so proud and happy to know you. All my love and my deepest sympathy to you and your mom. I wish you easier days ahead.
Pati & Lenny Geraci
September 23, 2009
Simple acts of love can be profound. When I found out who the mystery man was that came during snow storms to clean off Connie’s car at work, I was in awe. I was in awe of his deep, active love for Connie. He’s still watching over you Connie, just from afar.
hm foster
September 23, 2009
We give them back to you O God, as you first gave them to us.
Take them by the hand and lead them to the fullness of eternal life and joy. Ame. Fr. Tony
Anthony Carotenuto
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