Matthew McCoy Dorrell
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Matthew McCoy Dorrell, 22, beloved son of Anne and Drew, adoring father of Hailey, loving brother of Tricia, Andrew, Kevin and Katy, died in a tragic accident November 15, 2003. Ambitious and hard working, Matt had great fun and aspired to fulfill his dreams, living life to the fullest. He is survived by his grandparents, Charles and Eileen McCoy, and Jean and Eugene Dorrell, his aunts, Theresa, Noreen, and Carrie, his niece, Lily, his nephews, Nicholas and Sean, and countless extended family members. Matthew's death is a great loss for those who loved him and he will be dearly missed. Sadly, he also leaves behind a lifetime of devoted friends. Visitation will be from 5:00PM-8:00PM, with a Scripture Service at 7:00PM, on Wednesday, November 19, 2003, at Whitney & Murphy Arcadia Funeral Home, 4800 E. Indian School Rd. Funeral Mass will be at 11:00AM, Thursday, November 20, 2003, at St. Theresa Catholic Church, 5045 E. Thomas Rd.

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Published in The Arizona Republic on Nov. 18, 2003.
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131 entries
June 20, 2015
Matthew Man. I spent the week in Idaho with Andrew, Vanessa, Avelin & Katy. You'd be so proud of your brothers & sister.
Andrew and Kevin are wonderful dads. Seeing Andrew with Avelin flooded me with memories of you with Hailey. You were such a loving daddy. Hailey was so lucky to have you. We Love you Matthew. ~Mom
Anne McCoy
September 9, 2013
Matt and baby Hailey
Hello Matthew Man. In 10 days it is your 32nd birthday. The day you were born was an exceptional day. You entered the world peacefully and were the easiest baby to take care of. I had to wake you up to feed you because you preferred to sleep. You were a perfect 8# 8 oz little boy. Who would have guessed that you would have 2 more brothers over the next 5 years. The last birthday we celebrated together was when you were 22, in college and in love with Sarah. We had a great meal at Garcia's and when you hugged me good bye the leftovers fell out of the box onto the pavement in the parking lot. We miss you and it's a does not get easier or better. I have learned to live with a broken heart. I so miss your phone calls, your voice was always a comfort to me. I miss your quiet presence. I miss the way you always had to have fun and adventure. I miss seeing you with Hailey and you talking about your hopes and dreams for her. I can still see you celebrating her 3rd birthday at Peter Piper, both of you grinning from ear to ear as you played all the arcade games.
June 28, 2012
Its nice that this is still here.
November 15, 2011
Hailey in her daddy's arms. Hailey, Matt, Amanda.
I hate this day-the day I lost my exquisite boy, my kids lost their big brother and Hailey lost her daddy. The day our family was forever altered. Not a day goes by that I don't miss you. This day is the hardest. I miss your gentle voice, your laugh, our long conversations, your enthusiasm for life, your dreams for Hailey. I miss it all. Your were such a gentle, generous, kind young man. I am so lucky and grateful to be your mom.
October 19, 2011
Matthew and Tricia Thanksgiving 2002 Our last holiday when we were all together.
Hey Mattie, Travis's sister Jeanette died this week. I remember you telling me about what great care they all took of her. I have been thinking so much of you and Tricia. Always miss you both Always wish you were here. I shared this poem with Vickie and now I am sharing it with you, my beautiful boy. Love, Mom

The Cord

We are connected,
My child and I, by
An invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.

It's not like the cord
That connects us 'til birth
This cord can't be seen
By any on Earth.

This cord does it's work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.

I know that it's there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.

The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed
It can't be denied.

It's stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,
Though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.

It pulls at my heart
I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.

I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can't take it away!

Author Unknown
September 19, 2011

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." I miss you my beautiful boy. Thinking of you always. Love, Mom
Anne McCoy
November 15, 2010
Time doesn't change how much we miss and love you Matt. I wish it did, but your as dear to us as ever. You are always in our hearts...I wish you were here to help Travis get through the tough times in life-you had so much fun together, he was happier then. I'll never see a sailboat without you coming to mind..We miss you Vickie
vickie smith
November 14, 2010
Isn't it comforting to know that brother and sister are together, holding each others' hands, looking down on their loving family. Prayers and Love always, Kathleen mcCoy
November 14, 2010
Not a day goes by that I do not think of you, my beautiful boy. How lucky a mom I was to have you for 22 years and 57 days. It has been 7 years since you died. My life will never be the same without you in it. I miss you so much Matthew Man. I love and adore you and I cherish every moment we had together. xoxoxoxo
October 8, 2010
Tricia and Matthew

Sister and brother

forever together

with one another,

Two peas in a pod,

a girl and a boy

Never could imagine

you'd bring me such joy,

How lucky was I

to have you to love,

to watch you discover

to grow and become.
September 19, 2010
Happy Birthday Matthew Man!!
I miss you so. I love you. Mom
May 7, 2010
"Think of him still as the same, I say, He is not dead, he is just - away."
~ James Whitcomb Riley
February 27, 2010
Heard from Travis's mom this week. He is having a hard time. You are so loved. And missed. You're Hailey is a lovely young lady now. I cherish her so. She is such a joy. Thank you for the gift of her life.
October 25, 2009
I sure do wish you sweet boy.....
November 17, 2008
Death is nothing at all

Death is nothing at all

I have only slipped away into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other

That we still are

Call me by my old familiar name

Speak to me in the easy way which you always used

Put no difference into your tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we always enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effect

Without the ghost of a shadow on it

Life means all that it ever meant

It is the same as it ever was

There is absolutely unbroken continuity

What is death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind

Because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you at an interval

Somewhere very near

Just around the corner

All is well.

Henry Scott Holland 1847-1918

Canon of St Pauls Cathedral
October 3, 2008
You will live in the memories and hearts of your family and friends..................thank goodness for the time you were here.
Sherrill Smith
October 2, 2008
My dearest first-born grandson. Will always miss you. I cannot imagine the joy of your life with our Lord and pray that I will join you in time. Still find it hard to believe you and Tricia are with Him so soon. Save a spot there for me. My heart is full of love for both of you.
Grandmom McCoy
September 7, 2008
Hello Sweet Boy, You are always on my mind. Missing you each and every day. I love you so much. Time does not heal all wounds. You're life here went too fast. My heart aches for you. You brought me so much joy. Thank you sweet boy, for being my son. Love, Mom
July 4, 2008
When the fireworks go off, I'll remember you and Tricia and the delight they brought you when you were here. Always missing you both, always loving you. MOM
January 11, 2008
Hello Sweetheart.........



November 23, 2007
Dear Matt,

This was written by your big sister Tricia when she came upon a photo of you building a of many as we all recall.

"Remember when you built that fort

and we climbed that tree,

Remember when I flipped that boat

and you yelled at me.

In the playground of our childhood,

when we'd e be together,

and always we would do anything,

and always could.

Love was a fact, not a thought,

in our swift, passing childhood."

Tricia E. Dorrell 12/21/79-02/21/07
November 15, 2007
11/15/03 4 yrs

Matt McCoy R.I.P

The world's not the same without you.

This text was sent @0858 this morning by your little sister, Katy.

You are so loved and we never, ever stop wishing you were here.
November 5, 2007
We went to a Memorial Mass today and the kids each got a candle for Tricia....and then Nicholas went back up to be sure we had one for his Uncle Matt....

It is profoundly poignant seeing Nicks loving spirit...

We all love you both so much and this life without you two is not the same.
June 25, 2007
I love you so much Matthew Man.
May 2, 2007
Live A Life That Matters

Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass
to someone else. Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to

It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally

So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire. The
wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you
lived, at the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter?
How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what
you built; not what you got, but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success,
but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned,
but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity,
compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched,
empowered or encouraged others to emulate
your example.

What will matter is not your competence,
but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew,
but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.

What will matter is not your memories,
but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered,
by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

Author Unknown
May 2, 2007
God, grant me the SERENITY
To accept the things I cannot change;
The COURAGE to change the things I can;
And the WISDOM to know the difference -
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
May 2, 2007
Every day, in every way,

I miss you Matt.
March 3, 2007
Oh Matt--I wish you and Tricia were here. Things are not so good right now. I ask you both to stay close beside the children.

In only six weeks Hailey will be 7. She is so like you....she is quiet, enthusiastic, loving, gentle, and oh, so smart.

She and Lily are two peas in a pod, and she is always thrilled to see Nicholas and Sean.

She loves to go to church with us and eat breakfast with her Great Papa and Grandma.

She is a conscientious child, a good student and an overall great kid. We are all so lucky to have her.

I love you Matt...

February 27, 2007
Thinking of you today Matt and now Tricia is with you, both of you rejoice, singing with the Angels in Heaven. Watch over each other and your Family.
Dianne Culbertson
February 24, 2007
No words can expresss our sorrow, Matthew and Tricia are together and we must go on, in actions we can show our love for these beautiful people. Joe and I have a grandson, Joshua, also so in heaven so We know they are hugging each other , and they will always be our personal guardian Angels.To all the family , we reach out to you in love, and ask God to hold you tight.To our Angels above, keep smiling on us all. Mom and Dad OHare and family
Pat Joe O'Hare
February 23, 2007
Matthew Man,

Did Tricia make it safely? Are you together now?

Do you see me crying? Will you walk with me forever?

Are you both at peace? Do you see the light?

Is it love incarnate? Is it beyond compare?

Is it true? That in the end, it all makes perfect sense?

Is missing you the price I pay for loving you so dearly?
November 15, 2006
Matthew Man,

It feels like it was just yesterday that we talked on the phone and were making holiday plans. But it wasn't, it's been three years. Three very lonely, isolated years.

The sadness of your death is always with me.

And so is the joy and wonder of your life. The sweet, gentle baby I held in my arms. The very first baby boy in a family that had been all girls. The first son, grandson, nephew.

Each day you were a soul with a mission. You greeted the morning with excitement and you buzzed through time like there never was enough of it.

You were quick to smile, always looking for fun, willing to try anything. Your voice was strong and were you.

You were such a delight.

How could I have been so lucky???

You were fast and agile ... slight in build ... you were strong and masculine ... a beautiful soul ... witty and fun to be with ... too hard on yourself and others ... yet always there to help a friend ...

Such a beautiful boy, just becoming a man .... and forever twenty-two

I miss you every minute of every day and when I think of you I often cry. And I often smile....

I love you sweetness,


November 15, 2006
To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."

It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,
remember you're not're coming here to me.

Ruth Ann Mahaffey (author)
©Copyright 1998-2006

November 15, 2006
In My Pocket

I have memories in my pocket.
They rattle among the change.

My memories of you are treasures I carry wherever I go.

They are stored in bits and pieces, parts of a beautiful whole
They give me comfort when I think I am alone.

Yes, I have memories in my pocket, like so much other stuff I keep there.

But of all the treasures I have, it’s the memories of you that are the most precious.

July 1, 2006

I hope you know
how much
your smile lit up the room
and your laughter filled my soul,
making all the little problems of the day disappear.

I hope you know
how much it meant to me
when you did or said something
thoughtful and totally unexpected —
usually just at the moment I needed it most.

I hope you know
how much pride I hold in my heart
for the person you were and the things you did —
for your strength and your gentleness,
your courage and your determination,
your accomplishments and your dreams.

I hope you know just how much
I needed you by my side —
in the best of times and the worst of times
and all the times in between.

It really doesn't matter where we are
or what we're doing,
as long as we're together to share it all.

I love you with all my heart and soul.

I hope you know just how much.
June 1, 2006
I'm so sorry to hear of Matthew's passing. Though Matthew might not have remembered me--I was close friends with his sister, Tricia, when we attended St. Theresa's, and he was quite young at the time--I have fond memories of him as a child. He is missed by many. I only wish I had found out sooner and was able to extend my condolences to you in person.

My deepest sympathy goes out to the whole family. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.
Danielle Bushard
April 13, 2006
Hi Matthew,
Hailey will be SIX years old on Monday. I so vividly recall her third birthday at Peter Piper Pizza. You played all the games with her and you both had ear to ear smiles on your faces. She couldn't get enough of you. How much I wish to see you two together.
The little lady is so wonderful. She looks so much like you. Her smile and her voice warm my heart. When she spends the night, she often wakes up before me, and comes to me, just like you did...anouncing it's morning and it's time to get up!!!
She played Tball this year and she was so excited when I went to a game. I remember all the hours of Tball, baseball, soccer, football, tennis, and sailing. What fun you had!!!
I remember when you were thirteen and you said "What's the point, if you don't have fun?" How right you were.
I love you sweetness.
November 15, 2005
Love you Big Bro

Katy Dorrell
November 15, 2005
I think about you every day.

I love you.

Drew Dorrell
November 15, 2005
Love you so much,

Anne McCoy
November 15, 2005's been a long time between


(two years too long!)

Missing you

Matthew Man

You are so loved.....
Your Family & Friends
November 15, 2005

the beautiful memories,


a gracious spirit,


a wonderful life.
Theresa McCoy
November 15, 2005
You were on my mind when I woke up

this morning,

and I've been thinking about you

all day long,

remembering your smile,

your voice,

the sound of your laughter...

remembering the little things

we've shared

My Matthew Man,

So many smiles--When I think of

you. But so, so, soooo....many

tears. BECAUSE, there was that

much LOVE.

Aunt Theresa
Theresa McCoy
September 20, 2005

Missing you each and every day.

I love you Matt.

August 9, 2005
Hey Matt. I am working for my dads construction company right now and I was remebering the time you and I built that fort in your backyard. We tried to make it a little too big and one of the branches broke while you were up there and you fell through the floor a good ten feet to the ground. I'll be damned you got right up and we went straight back up there and made it even bigger... I just read the last entry from your mom and your daughter is starting kindergarden. Thats awesome! Thats right when we met.
See you when I get there
Lou Werbe
July 27, 2005
I't been so long since I have heard your voice and seen your face.

I miss you sweet boy.

Hailey lost her first tooth and is starting kindergarten next week. We talked about how when you were little you put your tooth under your pillow and the tooth fairy came, leaving coins for you to discover. She was thrilled when the tooth fairy left her $2.

She is very excited to be starting school. I have many stories to share with her about when you were a little boy.

March 17, 2005
St. Patrick's Prayer

This day I call to me:

God's strength to direct me,

God's power to sustain me,

God's wisdom to guide me,

God's vision to light me,

God's ear to my hearing,

God's word to my speaking,

God's hand to uphold me,

God's pathway before me,

God's shield to protect me,

God's legions to save me.
March 6, 2005
May the road rise up

to meet you

May the wind be

always at your back

May the sun shine warm

on your face

And the rain fall soft

upon your fields

And until we meet again,

May God hold you

in the palm of his hand.

—an old Irish Blessing
March 3, 2005




March 3, 2005
Some people come into our lives and quickly go,

Some people stay for awhile,

leave footprints on our hearts,

and we are never, ever the same.

February 14, 2005
No Farewell words were spoken,

No time to say goodbye,

You were gone before we knew it,

And only God knows why.
January 18, 2005
"Gratitude is the memory of the heart."
Always Matt's Mom, Anne
January 17, 2005
"When I think of you I give thanks to my God." Philippians 1:3

And I am always giving thanks.

All my love,

December 16, 2004
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart."

Helen Keller (1880-1968)
December 11, 2004
Oh, Matthew, I miss you so.

Love, Mom
Anne McCoy
December 11, 2004
Death is but nothing at all.
I have only stepped away into the next room.
Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way you used to.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before, only better, infinitely happier.
And forever, we will be together again.
December 8, 2004
Wishing the McCoy/Dorrell family a healing holiday season! You all are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kalli Pennell
November 16, 2004
Many times we needed you,
Many times we cried.
If love alone could save you, You never would have died.
In life we held you dearly, in death we hold you still,
But in our hearts you hold a place that no one else can fill.
It broke our hearts to lose you, but you didn't go alone,
For a part of us went with you, the night God called you home....

Always missing you my sweet Matthew,

Love, Mom
Anne McCoy
November 16, 2004
For my mom, dad, family and friends:

Our lives have touched, your love I knew,
please be aware, you had mine too,
I’m sorry that I could not stay,
you seemed so right in every way,
but plans were changed, I had to leave,
and now I’ve left you there to grieve.

My time with you went all too fast,
it simply wasn’t meant to last.
Your hopes and dreams and all you plans,
were taken from you loving hands.
Life’s larger plan includes us all,
I just was first to get my call.

Don’t grieve too long, and don’t despair
when you are finished, I’ll be there.
Until that time, you simply must
love and laugh and hope and trust.
The place I live may not be yours,
but all my love for you endures.

Til we sail again...Matthew

Author: Shelley Weiting
Matthew McCoy Dorrell
November 16, 2004
Oh Mattie, I miss you. I can't believe it's been one year and one feels like time has stood still. I long for the phone to ring, to hear your voice and to continue with our daily checking in. I want you to just stop over, hunt for food or ask me to make you something. I remember the last time I cooked for you. I always see my sweet baby, my sure-footed little boy who loved to try everyting and my charming grown son, towering over me, full of life, who had so much living to do. We miss you Matthew man. How lucky we are that God chose you for our family. We love you so much.
Anne McCoy
November 15, 2004
Not a day goes buy that I don't think about you. I miss you more than I thought I would. You were the best friend I ever had, the most genuine, caring friend any one could ever be lucky enough to know. I miss you monk!
Matt Keene
November 15, 2004
I can't believe you've been gone a year! I see your picture every day and it reminds me of the fun we used to have. We all still reminisce about you when we're together. We miss you and we love you! Your memory will forever remain with those who know and love you!

Kalli Pennell
November 15, 2004

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me, in your memory

Remember, when your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
Just remember me

I am the one star that keeps burning, so brightly,
It is the last light, to fade into the rising sun

I'm with you
Whenever you tell, my story

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me, in your memory
Remember me

I am the one voice in the cold wind, that whispers
And if you listen, you'll hear me call across the sky

As long as I still can reach out, and touch you
Then I will never die

Remember, I'll never leave you
If you will only
Remember me

Remember me...

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory

Remember, when your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
I live forever
Remember me

Remember me
Remember... me...

Performed by: Josh Groban
(With Tanja Tzarovska)
November 15, 2004
To Where You Are

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Lyrics: Linda Thompson
Recorded by: Josh Groban
November 15, 2004
Beautifull Boy (Darling Boy)

by John Lennon

Close your eyes,
Have no fear,
The monsters gone,
He's on the run and your daddy's here,

Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,

Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day in every way,
It's getting better and better,

Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,

Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait,
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we'll both,
Just have to be patient,
Yes it's a long way to go,
But in the meantime,

Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans,

Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,
Darling Matthew.
November 8, 2004
Hi Matt,
Hailey asked me why did Daddy die? She wants to know when she can see you again. She said maybe she could go "up there" to see Daddy. She knows you are in heaven. She likes to light a candle for you at church and bring flowers to the grave. Mostly, she misses you. I know you are watching over her. I promise to be a good Grandma to her and to be sure she knows how much you love her.

Love never ends.
November 8, 2004
I lost my child today,
People came to weep and cry,
As I sat and stared, dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say,
to try and make the pain go away.
I walked the floor in disbelief,
I lost my child today.

I lost my child last month.
Most of the people went away,
some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream.
This can't be real. I want to scream.
Yet everything is locked inside,
GOD help me, I want to die.
I lost my child last month.

I lost my child last year.
Now people who had come, have gone.
I sit and struggle all day long.
To bear the pain so deep inside.
And now my friends just question, "why?"
Why does this person not move on ?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good heavens, it has been so long.
I lost my child last year.

Time has not moved on for me.
The numbness it has disappeared.
my eyes have now cried many tears.
I see the look upon your face,
"She must move on and leave this place"
Yet I am trapped right here in time,
the song's the same, as is the rhyme,
Matt's Mom, Anne
November 8, 2004
What Makes A Mother?

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard Him say.

"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
"But God can you be a Mother,
When your baby's not with you?"

"Yes, you can," He replied
With confidence in His voice
"I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay."

"I just don't understand this God
I want my baby to be here."
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,
And then I saw the tear.

"I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child's smile,
With all the other children and say...

'We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come strait here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much,
But I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here.'
"So you see my dear sweet ones,
your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home,
And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with Me,
Until your lesson's through.
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother,
It's the feeling in your heart
it's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start

Though some on earth may not realize, you are a Mother.
Until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day
and know that you are the best one!"

Author Unknown
November 8, 2004
I just wanted to express my condolences again to the entire dorrell/mccoy family and especially to amanda,matt's one true love and hailey wolinski,who is the spitting image of her father.
amy miller
November 7, 2004
Sometimes when a light
goes out in our life
and we are left in darkness
and do not know which way to go.
We must put our hand into the hand of God
and ask Him to lead us...
and if we let our life become a prayer
until we are strong enough
to stand under the weight
of our own thoughts again,
somehow even the most difficult
hours are bearable.

(Helen Steiner Rice)
November 6, 2004
The Beatitudes: Matthew 5:1-12

WHEN Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on the mountain; and after He sat down, His disciples came to Him.

He opened His mouth and began to teach them, saying,

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.

Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
November 6, 2004
I lost my loved one today,
People came to weep and cry,
As I sat and stared, dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say,
to try and make the pain go away.
I walked the floor in disbelief,
I lost my loved one today.

I lost my loved one last month.
Most of the people went away,
some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream.
This can't be real. I want to scream.
Yet everything is locked inside,
GOD help me, I want to die.
I lost my loved one last month.

I lost my loved one last year.
Now people who had come, have gone.
I sit and struggle all day long.
To bear the pain so deep inside.
And now my friends just question, "why?"
Why does this person not move on ?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good heavens, it has been so long.
I lost my loved one last year.

Time has not moved on for me.
The numbness it has disappeared.
my eyes have now cried many tears.
I see the look upon your face,
"She must move on and leave this place"
Yet I am trapped right here in time,
the song's the same, as is the rhyme,
Matthew's Mom, Anne McCoy
November 6, 2004
Please, don't ask me if I'm over it yet.
I'll never be over it.
Please, don't tell me he is in a better place.
He isn't here with me.
Please, don't say at least he isn't suffering.
I haven't come to terms with why he had to suffer at all.
Please, don't tell me you know how I feel.
Unless you have lost a child.
Please, don't ask me if I feel better.
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.
Please, don't tell me at least you had him for some years..
What year would you choose for your child to die?
Please, don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear.
Please, just say you are sorry.
Please, just say you remember my child, if you do.
Please, just let me talk about my child.
Please, mention my child's name.
Please, just let me cry.
Forever Matt's Mom, Anne McCoy
November 6, 2004
Don't tell me that you understand,
Don't tell me that you know
Don't tell me that I will survive,
Or that I will surely grow,
Don't tell me that this is a test,
Or that I am surely blessed,
That I am chosen for this task,
Apart from all the rest,
Don't come at me with answers,
They can only come from me,
Don't tell me how my grief will pass,
That I will soon be free,
Don't stand in pious judgement,
Of the bounds I must untie,
Don't tell me how to suffer,
And don't tell me how to cry,
My life is filled with selfishness,
My pain is all I see,
But I need you now,
I need your love unconditionally,
Accept me in my ups and downs,
I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry,
And say, "MY FRIEND, I CARE"
Alone, but never quite alone
I face an empty chair
But sometimes in the silence
I imagine you are here
My companion for too less years
no longer here with me
And yet in some mysterious way
You keep me company.....
November 6, 2004
You may wish that I would not cry,
The way I did today,
While thinking of so many things,
We didn't have time to say...

I feel that you will care for me,
For that's the strength of you.
And each time that I feel and see,
I'm sure you know it's true...

So when tomorrow starts without you,
I'll try to understand,
That an angel came and called your name,
And took you by the hand...

Another day will start without you,
But I don't feel the burden of being apart.
Cause everytime I whisper your name,
Your memories will fill my heart...

And if the sky will open for me,
When I shall become a twinkling star,
I'm sure you'll come running, for you can see,
That love gives us power, so close now, not far...

Lya Rijkse
November 6, 2004
Eyes to Heaven

Eyes raised to Heaven
Searching for any signs of you.

Eyes raised to Heaven
Embracing you.

Eyes raised to Heaven
Communicating my love to you.

Eyes raised to Heaven
Remembering your love and gentleness.

Eyes raised to Heaven
Remembering your courage, strength and determination.

Eyes raised to Heaven
Remembering how you celebrated life.

Eyes raised to Heaven
Treasured memories of our time together here on earth.

Eyes raised to Heaven
Knowing you are safe, and of pain.

Written by Joy S. Mixon
February 1, 2001
November 6, 2004
Flying Free - Don Besig

There is a place I call my own
Where I can stand by the sea
And look beyond the things I've known
And dream that I might be free.

Like the bird above the trees
Gliding gently on the breeze
I wish that all my life I'd be
Without a care and Flying Free.

But life is not a distant sky
Without a cloud, without rain
And I can never hope that I
Can travel on without pain

Time goes swiftly on its way
All too soon we've lost today
I cannot wait for skies of blue
Or dream so long that life is through

So life's a song I must sing
A gift of love I must share
And when I see the joy it brings
My spirits soar through the air

Like that bird up in the sky
Life has taught me how to fly
For now I know what I can be
And now my heart is Flying Free!
November 6, 2004

Daughter, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.

My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.

I'll never wander out of your sight
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.

I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.

I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.

When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.

I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, daughter, I'm everyplace!

Author Unknown
November 6, 2004

Henry van Dyke

I’m standing on the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails
to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.
She’s an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch her until, at length,
she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and the sky come down
to mingle with each other.

And then I hear someone at my side saying,
“There, she’s gone." Gone where?
Gone from my sight, that is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side.
And just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the place of destination.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
“There, she is gone,”
there are other eyes watching her coming,
and there are other voices
ready to take up the glad shout,
“Here she comes!”
October 17, 2004
I can't believe almost one year has passed, because time for me stands still.
I can't believe you're really gone, I probably never will.
I wish that I could just see your face, and once more hear your voice.
If that were to happen, I'd keep you here--it would be my only choice.
I remember each minute of the day you were born, my first look at your beautiful face.
No matter how much time does pass, no one will ever take your place.
I still see you as a newborn baby who grew into a charming young man.
Others try to comfort me, but there's nobody here who can.
I think of all your hopes and dreams,
My heart still breaks, and the tears remain,
I love you, Matthew, I think of you every single day.
I want you to know I miss you so, more than any words can say.
Even though you've been taken away, I have great memories of you, they are forever mine.
How lucky I am that God chose me to have a son so fine.

I love you Baby....Mom
Anne McCoy
October 10, 2004
"Happiness makes up in height for it lacks in length." Robert Frost
Sherrill Smith
October 9, 2004
"With Hope"

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you are gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again..
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and...
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so...
We wait with hope
We ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope

Lyrics from the song "With Hope"
by Steven Curtis Chapman on his new CD
October 9, 2004

If we could have you back for just one day
There would be so many things we would like to say
If we could just be with you for one whole day
To have you close and know that you really are Okay.

If we had known that you would be gone forever
If we had known all those ties were going to be severed
If we had known the pain, the loss, and the ache
If we had known the difference without you would make.

In the darkness you slipped away from us all,
Now it's just your memories that we have to recall,
They say that parting is such sweet sorrow,
But it's the longing, the wondering, and how to cope with tomorrow

They say that grieving a child is the very worst
Cause life's plan is that the parents should go first.
Now all we have are memories, the good times that we had,
We spend so much time in tears, and pain and feeling sad,

So if we could have you back for just one day,
You could let us know, how to cope until that judgement day,
When we'll be together as a family once again,
When we'll all be happy and free from all this pain.

Oh ! it's so hard to live when your child has to die,
Then we spend our lifetime trying to say Goodbye!

Ann M.King
Coquitlam. BC Canada
October 9, 2004

There is a place called memory,
Where we sometimes like to roam.
Through hills of love and laughter
A place we know as home.

A place that's free from all this pain
Where our hearts are light once more.
A place that lives forever,
Where life is, as it was before.

Our children live in memory.
They laugh and dance and sing.
Their lives are filled with a magic
That only Heaven can bring.
They feel no hurt or anger.
Their spirits are free as air.
And God's love will always protect them
In times when we aren't there.

Cherish this place called memory.
Feel the love that lives there.
Remember the joys, the warmth of the sun,
And the bond you will always share.

Smile at happy moments,
Laugh at times gone by.
Let the tears you cry be happy ones,
Know love will never die.

Have no fear of visiting, the joy will outweigh the pain.
Learn to treasure memory for there is much that you will gain.
And though life is not as it was before,
And never will be again.
Our memories are much richer,
Than if love had never been.

Lovingly lifted from Brazosport, Tx Chapter Web Site
October 2, 2004
"Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come."
–– Rabindranath Tagore
September 27, 2004

Not a day goes by that you're not thought of in a very special way.....always missing you Matthew....'til we sail again

Anne McCoy
August 17, 2004


When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.

I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me
I know you'll miss me too

But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand

And said my place was ready
In heaven far above
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love

But when I walked through heaven's gates
I felt so much at home
When God looked down and smiled at me
From His great golden throne

He said, "This is eternity
And all I've promised you
Today for life on earth is past
But here it starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow
For today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.

So when tomorrow starts without me
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me
I'm right here in your heart.
August 16, 2004
I am not gone

I am not gone, I am changed.
Have faith and please believe me.
God did not take me away from you,
He split the skies and received me.


I'm an echo in your laughter,
a reflection in your tears,
an extra thread of strength
to help you overcome your fears.

I'm an added ray of sunshine,
more joy for you to share,
a fragrance of the life you live.
Wherever you are - I am there.

© 2002 Terri McPherson
August 15, 2004
What a beautiful young man! Im so sorry for your prayers and thoughts will be with you
Linda Chittick
August 15, 2004
It has been eight months since you left us Matthew. We love you so much and miss you more than words can say. Thank you for being in our lives. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for making the world a better place. Thank you for every gift.
August 13, 2004
Our family remains true to the memory of a wonderful young man who impressed all of us with his warmth, love and humor.

Forever and ever and ever.
Sherrill Smith
August 12, 2004
I Hear Each Tear Fall On Her Face"

My Mom doesn't know I'm watching her
but I'm watching her just the same.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
at the very mention of my name.

She says it sounds like music to her ears
and can be heard over a crowd.
Oh, I hear each tear fall on her face
when my name is said aloud.

I watch her stumble through each day
as she wishes the day would end.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
as she talks of me to her friends.

But there are few who truly understand
Oh this I've heard her proclaim.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
Will my Mom ever be the same?

I know that her smiles light up a sky
But, I don't see that smile today.
Oh, but I hear each tear fall on her face.
Her blue skies turned to gray.

Oh, I send to her my warmest hug
with the rays of the morning sun.
Then, I won't hear a tear fall on her face
For I shall erase them one by one.

Yes, my Mom doesn't know I'm watching her.
But I'm watching her just the same.
And if I hear a tear fall on her face
I'll just softly whisper her name!
June 17, 2004
Matthew and the entire family remain in our thoughts and prayers.

The Smith Family
Sherrill Smith
June 16, 2004

We little knew that morning,
God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you,
You did not go alone,
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home,

You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you,
You are always by our side,

Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
February 1, 2004
We thought of you with love today
But that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday
And days before that too.
We think of you in silence
We often speak your name.
Now all we have are memories
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake
With which we'll never part.
God has you in His Keeping
We have you in our heart

~Author Unknown to me~
Anne McCoy, Matt's Mom Forever
January 29, 2004
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Kenneth Dowse
January 25, 2004
If I could have a lifetime wish,
A dream that would come true,
I'd pray to God with all my heart
for yesterday and you.
A thousand words can't bring you back;
I know because I've tried.
And neither will a million tears,
I know because I've cried.
You left behind my broken heart
And happy memories too.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

Author Unknown
Love Mom, I miss you so
January 22, 2004
Dear Family, I hope you had a good Christmas. I know you miss me. Remember, I am always in your hearts. Love, Matt


I see the countless Christmas trees around the world

With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on
the snow

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear

For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so

But the sounds of music can't compare with the
Christmas choir up her.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices

For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I know how mch you miss me, I can see the pain inside
your heart

But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart,

So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you

And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ
this year.

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home

I sent you each a memory of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold

It was always most important in the stories Jesus

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to

For I can't count the blessing or love he has for each
of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear

Remember I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ
this year.

Author unknown
Matthew McCoy Dorrell
January 21, 2004
Mary Traettino also shared the following poem with me. It said just what I needed to hear. Anne
I'm Free
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free.I'm following the path God laid for me. I took God's hand when I heard the call; I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day to laugh, to love, to work or play. Tasks left undone must stay that way, I found that place at the close of day.

If parting has left a void, then fill it with remembered joy. A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss. Ah yes, these things, |I too, will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow, I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow. My life's been full, I savored much, good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief; don't lenghten it now with undue grief. Lift up your heart and share with me--God wanted me now, God set me free.
January 21, 2004
My mom's friend, Mary Traettino, shared this poem with me. It was a real comfort to me. A few days later, Carol, a neighbor of mine, told me she lost her son many years ago and then she, too, gave me a copy of this poem, telling me it was a great comfort to her.
I would like to add it to this guestbook. Anne

Gods Lent Child

"I'll lend you for a little time a child of Mine", He said.

For you to love the while he lives and mourn for when he's dead."

"It may be six, or seven years, or twenty-two or three,

But will you, 'til I call him back, take care of him for me?"

"He'll bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief,

You'll have his lovely memories, as solace for your grief."

"I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,

But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn."

"I've looked the wide world over, in search for teachers true,

And from the throngs that crowd life's lane, I have selected you."

"Now, will you give him all your love, nor think the labor vain,

Nor hate me when I come to call, to take him back again?"

"I fancied that I heard them say, 'Dear Lord, Thy will be done,'

For all the joy the child shall bring the risk of grief we'll run."

"We'll shelter him with tenderness, we'll love him while we may,

And for the happiness we've known, forever grateful stay."

"But should the angels call for him much sooner than we've planned,

We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand."

By Florence Correa
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