THE HONORABLE JEFFREY A. ABBER
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ABBER, The Honorable Jeffrey A. Associate Justice of Middlesex Probate and Family Court The Honorable Jeffrey A. Abber, 55, of Malden and West Yarmouth and formerly of Brockton, passed away in the loving arms of his family after living life to the absolute fullest and showing his family how to accept death with peace and dignity. Jeff was the beloved husband of Maureen (Duffy) and adored and much loved father of Annie M. of South Boston, Zachary S. of Melrose and Caitlin R. of Somerville. Despite a cancer diagnosis over 2 years ago, Jeff continued to live life as he always had with compassion, strength, empathy, the most amazing positive outlook and sense of humor. While undergoing treatment, Jeff continued to work, travel, and golf, cook gourmet meals, spend time with family and friends, enjoy Boston sports, tell comical stories, enjoy music and simply enjoy life. As he often said, he was not sick; he simply had cancer. Jeff loved so many and was loved by so many. Once Jeff met you, you were a friend for life and there was absolutely nothing that he would not do for a friend. His generosity and thoughtfulness knew no bounds. Jeff grew up in Brockton, the devoted son of the late Herman and Charlotte (Baskin) Abber. He was a proud graduate of Brockton High School, Brandeis University and New England School of Law. After graduating law school, Jeff married his high school sweetheart, Maureen with whom he shared 38 years of love and 30 years of marriage. Jeff's greatest joy was being a father to his triplets. He provided Annie, Zach and Cait with their moral compass and their appreciation that family matters most. He enjoyed coaching many of their sports team and served as a coach and mentor to many in the Malden Youth Sports program. Jeff thoroughly enjoyed spending time with his children at their Cape house; traveling; having family dinners; watching their sporting and dancing activities; watching Boston sports teams, engaging in lively discussions and simply basking in the happiness of a father who loved his three. For over 20 years Jeff maintained a law practice in Malden, The Law Office of Jeffrey A. Abber, focusing on probate and family law. The highlight of Jeff's career was when he was appointed an Associate Justice of the Probate and Family Court for the Middlesex County by Governor Deval Patrick. As an Associate Justice, Jeff presided initially in the Essex Probate and Family Court in Salem and more recently in the Middlesex Probate and Family Court in Cambridge. He served as a Judicial Mentor to new judges and served on the Education Committee for the Probate and Family Court where he developed and shaped judicial education programs for the entire bench. Jeff also advanced and taught many continuing legal education programs for the Massachusetts Bar Association and MCLE. Jeff's judicial colleagues appreciated Jeff's legal wisdom; compassion; humility; sense of grace; sense of humor; wit; and exuberance. In 2015, Jeff was recognized with the Jurist of the Year Award by the Middlesex County Bar Association. We are eternally grateful to all of his colleagues over the years who provided a tremendous community of support to Jeff and our family. Jeff was a past member of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, the Family and Probate Innes of Court, the Malden Redevelopment Authority Board of Directors, the Lions Club International and the Cape Cod Synagogue. Jeff has left behind a legacy of love, family and friends will forever live on in the hearts of his wife, children and all who loved him. Family meant everything to Jeff and there was nothing that he enjoyed more than spending time with his extended family. In addition to his wife and children, Jeff is survived by his brother Russell, his sister and brother-in-law Carol and Jonathan Braverman, his brother and sister-in-law Scott and Kim and his sister-in-law Louise Duffy; his adoring nieces and nephews Allison and Jared Braverman and Brittany, Ben and Sophie Abber; his "second son", Michael Sullivan; his "third daughter", Jennifer DeLacey, whom he loved dearly; his beloved "little buddy" Rolo, as well as numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and colleagues. In addition to his parents, Jeff was pre-deceased by his mother and father in-law James and Anne (Donovan) Duffy; his brother-in-law James Duffy; his close friend Jonathan Shostack and his loyal dog Rudi. Our family will be forever grateful for the amazing and compassionate care that Jeff received at Mass General Hospital and would like to thank Dr. Janet Murphy, Patricia Tammaro, NP, Robyn Farrell, John Opolski, Dr. Jennifer Shin; the staff on Yawkey 7 and 8 and "Jeff's nurses" on Lunder 10 and Lunder 9 for the love and support that they gave to Jeff and our family, especially Jen Venuti, Natalia DeMatteo, Christine Weiand and Christine Shaughnessy along with so many other amazing nurses whom Jeff loved. Our lives are forever enriched by the friendship and compassion that you provided. We would also like to thank Diana Byomuhangi of Seasons Hospice for the care and compassion that she provided to all of us. Services will be held at Temple Beth Avodah, 45 Puddingstone Lane, Newton Centre on Sunday, April 23, 2017 at 11:00 a.m. Memorial observance will be held at the Abber residence in Malden on Sunday 6:30-8:30 p.m. and Monday 2:00-4:00 p.m. and 6:30-8:30 p.m. and the Abber residence in West Yarmouth on Tuesday 3:00-7:00 p.m. Interment will be private. In lieu of flowers, donations in Jeff's memory may be made to Jeff's Justice League Team, http://profile.pmc.org/TJ0082, which is riding in Jeff's honor in the Pan Mass Challenge to raise funds for cancer research. Jeff was immensely proud of the team's members: his daughters Annie and Caitlin, cousin Spencer and niece Brittany who are riding as superheroes to honor our Superman. www.brezniakrodman.com (617)969-0800


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Published in Boston Globe from Apr. 20 to Apr. 22, 2017.
MEMORIAL EVENTS
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Memorial Gathering
06:30 - 08:30 PM
at the Abber residence
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Service
11:00 AM
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Memorial Gathering
02:00 - 04:00 PM
at the Abber residence
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24
Memorial Gathering
06:30 - 08:30 PM
at the Abber residence
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25
Memorial Gathering
03:00 - 07:00 PM
the Abber residence
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Memories & Condolences
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47 entries
April 14, 2020
Thinking of the Abber family! Jeff was a good man and very much missed.
Katie Valley
Friend
April 11, 2018
Jeff was a great Lawyer! and human being RIP
Ralph Tella
August 2, 2017
Dear Jeff, you were my lawyer, you were my guide, you were my strength. I am so glad to have known you.
Barbara Poirier
Acquaintance
May 7, 2017
Rest in peace, dear Judge Abber. I had the honor of appearing as an attorney in a few trials before you, in the past few years, and also to successfully defend a judgment of yours on appeal. It was in those trying times - in these last few years in which you served so well on the bench - that the true strength of your character was revealed to me as the most honorable, smart, wise, and compassionate judge you were. It is with sadness that I write this note, and a bit of denial, as I write to you as though you are still here with us, but I hope it gives a bit of joy to those in your family to know that you touched lives and inspired many of us in the challenging world of family law. I will miss you and continue to be inspired by your example.
Steven Ballard
Coworker
May 5, 2017
I just learned very sad news about Judge Jeffrey A. Abber passing. My deepest condolences to the whole Abber family. I appeared before The Honorable Jeffrey A. Abber's few times in court and was very impressed with his intelligence, kindness and care. I am very sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace...
Elena Lebedev
May 3, 2017
I just learned today about Mr. Abber's passing. I was Zachary's first grade teacher many years ago. I remember the Abber family with such fond memories. I remember all the smiles and laughter with the triplets. My deepest sympathy for your loss.
Jodi Berenson
April 30, 2017
Dear Carol,

My heart goes out to you and your family after hearing about the loss of your brother. I did not know him, but I am writing to let you know that I'm thinking about you and sending positive energy your way during this difficult time. How awful to lose him at such a young age. May he rest in peace.
Martha Brest
April 29, 2017
Dear Honorable Judge Abber and family, you do not know me. I went to court this past Wednesday, expecting to go before this Wise and Honorable man. When I heard he had passed away,I was absolutely devastated! These last few years have been incredibly difficult for my two young children and I. My wife had filed for divorce and I was blessed to have been assigned this wonderful man to walk me through the trials and tribulations of all that was involved. I had no attorney but Thank God he was so fair. I observed that more than two thirds of those appearing before him lied, after Swearing to tell the truth! He was never fooled! I have thought of very little else since Weds. I'm incredibly sad and sorry for his loss. I will never forget him I will pray for his family. God Bless you all sincerely William Canavan
April 27, 2017
Judge Abber stood above the others in the court. His fairness, kindness and strength protected my family. I regret not being able to tell him that directly. Please accept our condolences for your loss of this great man.
Harding Family
April 27, 2017
To Maureen Abber & family I was shocked and saddened to hear about the passing of your husband and your Dad Jeff. To me he was one of the nicest people I had ever known. We met in 2001 when I selected his son Zach to play for the Giants team of the Malden National L.L. I didn't know it at the time but when Jeff volunteered to help coach our team, I began to learn over the next 3 years what a wonderful, wise and compassionate man he was. At the time he was still a very busy lawyer but somehow found the time to be a coach as well, 4 or 5 times a week. All the players & parents had the greatest respect for him. To all those who have spoken about his great character and kindness, I agree entirely with all that was written and more. His son Zach was a dream to coach and a great young player who became one of the best players and hitters on the team. I can only say I am so very saddened to learn of his death. I would always tell my own wife and family he was one of the best and most considerate men I ever met. RIP Jeff you were well loved and respected and I will never forget you
Rob DiGiovanni
April 26, 2017
When you see this guy the only choice is to love him
Jeff and I became friends at the first sight.When you knew Jeff you knew that he will be forever your friend.
I loved to laugh with him and to make joke.
I remember when with my wife Mimi we organized a trip to Normandy with him, Maureen, Kathy and Peter Dodwell . It was so emotional to see Jeff breathing deeply the air in remembrance of the ones of his family who landed on these beaches to release France from German.
I remember having a call with him when he had already his cancer and I said to him that he was the best because he was fighting bravely his cancer. He answered your are the best and I said no it is you. At the end he said why don't we say that we are both the best.It was Jeff the man with a big heart and a fantastic sense of humor. I miss you my friend my heart bleeds. It is even harder because due to a business trip I was not able to be at your funeral. I am very sorry Jeff.Rest in Peace. With Love
Jean Louis SCHAFFAR
April 25, 2017
deepest condelences to the loss of your loved one, may it bring comfort to you and your family that they will soon be restored to youth and vigor as promised in Job 33:25
April 25, 2017
Jeff was a great man with a great compassion, who gave so much of himself to all, he will be missed.

Ayman Noufal and Family
Ayman Noufal
April 25, 2017
Honorable Jeffrey A. Abber's ruling changed my life and ensured my well being in the coming years. I will be forever grateful to him
for the decisions he made. Thank you Judge Abber...may you rest in heaven.
April 25, 2017
To Jeff! My attorney that was referred from a family friend and very grateful for that. I am very priveledged to have known Jeff. Someone who fought hard for me like i was the only person he represented. He even remembered me years after my divorce and like I read, Jeff wouldn't forget a friend. Before I met Jeff I heard nothing but great things about him and to this day it still remains the same. God Bless is entire family. Loving regards, Linda Brooks
April 25, 2017
Having tried a case with Jeff, I was honored to recommend him for the bench to two judicial nominating committees. I greatly admired his manifest love of family and knew it would make him a great Probate and Family Court Judge.

Jeff's time was much too short but enormously full. My condolences to his family.
Charles Rancourt
April 24, 2017
So sorry about Jeff, have not seen him in a few years, but always appreciated him when he was on the MRA board. My Condolences to the family. Diane Carlan, MRA
April 24, 2017
My condolences to Judge Abber's family and friends. I sat in his courtroom several times in the past few years on a custody matter, listening to his wise, compassionate, encouraging words to a parade of people in difficult circumstances. I was impressed by his patience, care and good sense. It is all the more remarkable to think of his fighting cancer the whole time. May he rest in peace and may God bless his family.
John Powley
April 24, 2017
This is very sad news.
I didn't know Judge Abber personally, but I saw that he was fair and showed uncommon common sense with those who came before him in his courtroom. I heard more than one Boston attorney described him as "a good guy."

My condolences to the family.
Katherine Scott
April 24, 2017
My deepest and most heartfelt condolences to Caitlin and the entire Abber family during this sad time. I am so very sorry for your loss.

Liz Aguilo
CHNA 17
Elizabeth Aguilo
April 23, 2017
The Kartstein family send our sincere condolances to the Abber family. Jeffrey and our son, Howard, were friends since childhood.
We were friends with Jeffrey's parents also since childhood. We miss them all.
Thelma and Charley Kartstein
April 23, 2017
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how much pain your family and friends are going through. I can remember the day I lost both of my grandparents . So painful. However I was really encouraged by one of the many promises that are found in gods word, at (John 5:25-28) it gives us hope. If you are a person of faith I know that you know God keeps all his promises. May this bring you a measure of hope as it did for me. My condolences.
April 23, 2017
My deepest aympathy. Remember the fun times, talk about them, laugh about them.
It really helps.
Phyllis Paulive
Boca Raton, Florida
April 22, 2017
He was a wonderful person we would like to send our love & sympathy to maureen and children and his loving sister and brothers
Lester & rosalie Cohen
Friend
April 22, 2017
I am so sorry for the loss of your loved one.Please find peace and comfort in Psalms 119:76.
April 22, 2017
My sincere condolences to the Abber family for the loss of their loved one, may God strengthen you all during this difficult time and may you find comfort through his son Jesus Christ's words found in John 6:40.,My sincere condolences to the Abber family for the loss of their loved one, may God strengthen you all during this difficult time and may you find comfort through his son Jesus Christ's words found in John 6:40.
April 22, 2017
May I add my deepest condolences to the family. I knew Judge Abber from the court and he impressed all with his work ethic and continued presence on the bench during the past few years, as if to say "cancer? So what!" He was clear, candid and smart - which is a wonderful combination in a judge. He earned the respect of all who appeared before him and he will be missed. I am very sorry for your loss. May his memory be eternal.
Susan Matthew
April 22, 2017
Maureen,
Joan and I were truly saddened to hear of Jeff's passing. Although it has been many years, we could never forget Jeff's sense of humor and love of laughter. You are in our thoughts.

Steve & Joan Cassidy
April 22, 2017
So sorry to hear of Jeff's passing. He truly was an incredible gentleman who always gave his heart to support others. His kindness and generosity will always be appreciated. John and I wish to send our heartfelt condolences. Katie Valley-Bourdeau
Katie Valley-Bourdeau
April 21, 2017
Judge Abber earned the respect; dignity; and love of the Probate & Family Court Community through his honesty; care; compassion; wit; and work ethic.
He was truly a kind and gentle man.

Throughout his courageous battle with cancer, his positive attitude has been an inspiration to us all !!

How lucky we are to have known him!

Rest in Peace, my friend. AG
April 21, 2017
Dear Maureen and Family,

We just learned of Jeff's death from Ann. May you be comforted by many happy memories of the years you shared!

Linda and Norm Merwise
April 21, 2017
My heartfelt sympathies go out to your family during this difficult time. I hope that the promise at 1 Thessalonians 4:14 brings you comfort. Knowing that there is a hope for the ones we have lost in death, can be so reassuring.
S M
April 21, 2017
Cait, Annie and Zack, very sorry for you loss. Your father was a fantastic man and you, his children, made him so proud. It was an honor to have met your father through you. I hope the wonderful memories you keep warm your heart for eternity.
James Valente
April 21, 2017
God bless him. I had (divorce-related) dealings in his court and always found him to be a very pleasant and fair judge and man. My deepest condolences to his family. There are too few like him.
David Murgo
April 21, 2017
so sorry for your loss. Jeff was such a positive influence in his families life. he will never be forgotten and his memories will be cherished forever.
stephen rubin
April 21, 2017
My sincere condolences to the Abber family. Mrs. Turner
Andrea Turner
April 21, 2017
Joe and I don't have the words to express how sorry we are for your loss.
Ann Miller
April 21, 2017
Maureen words cannot say how deeply sorry we are for you Tremendous Loss. We will remember Jeff and all the good times we had with you and your Family!!! Tony & Marilyn Navarro!!!!
April 21, 2017
I am sorry for your loss. Hopefully Ps 4:1 will encourage you some.
Ps 4:1 reads When I call, answer me, O my righteous God. Make a way of escape for me in my distress. Show me favor and hear my prayer.
April 21, 2017
My sincere condolences to you and family, Maureen. I hope that in the days to come, you will find comfort in the sure knowledge that Jeff is free from pain and resting in the embrace of our Lord. Blessings to you.
Mary Renda
April 21, 2017
We are so sorry for your loss. Jeff was a kind, generous & loyal friend, husband, father, son, brother, spouse. Will always remember trips through Europe(especially Normandy) with Jeff's big smile and humor. We will miss him. Love & Blessings to you Maureen, Zach, Caitlin & Annie.
Kathy & Peter Dodwell
April 21, 2017
Maureen and family, Denise and I are so sad to hear about Jeff's passing. We have so many great memories of him, most notably the fun we had on those MHS band trips. We loved Jeff and will dearly miss him.
Don Sterner
April 20, 2017
With love and admiration to the Abber family for your strength and support for each other during this difficult time.
Bonnie & Norman Winson
April 20, 2017
Grief can be so hard, but our special memories help us cope. Remembering you and your loved one today and always.
April 20, 2017
To the Abber Family

Please accept my deepest sympathies. The Judge had a tremendous impact on the many lives he touched

You are in my thoughts and prayers

Sincerely

Michael Sullivan
Michael Sullivan
April 20, 2017
I am so very sorry to learn of Judge Abber's passing. I had the honor of working with him several times as opposing counsel and had the pleasure of appearing before him as a judge. Upon learning of his illness I was truly inspired by the dignity, perseverance, grace and amazing positivity he demonstrated while continuing to perform his duties as a judge. He will be truly missed. My sincere condolences to his family.
Susan Champa
April 20, 2017
My condolences to the family. Our lord father promises that very soon he will bring back our loved ones and we will never lose them again. Isaac 25:8
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