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Riley Gardner didnt like funerals. He said that when he lost a friend many years ago, he went to his friends funeral and his friend wasnt there. He never went to another funeral. Riley was born in Ree Heights, South Dakota, on October 31, 1921. He died peacefully on Tuesday, October 23, 2007, with his family around him in the good care of Aldersgate and Heart of America Hospice. He was brave and his attitude was matter-of-fact as he faced death. His family buried his ashes at Mount Calvary Cemetery on Friday, October 26. From his class of ten students, Riley liked to say he was the top 10% of his Ree Heights High School graduating class. He graduated from Yankton College, summa cum laude, in 1945. He worked full time throughout his college years as an editor and musician. He was a staff sergeant in the US Army Medical Corps, serving 1946 1948, where he was introduced to psychiatric care and the study of mental health. He earned a Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Kansas in 1952, summa cum laude, a member of Phi Beta Kappa. Riley married Ruth Janssen on August 27, 1950, in Yankton, South Dakota. She survives. Rileys professional career was like a shooting star, brief and brilliant. He was a research psychologist at the Menninger Foundation from 1951 to 1971. Surrounded by the sophisticated professional staff at Menninger, he thought he might be the only one who felt like he came to a Big City when he moved to Topeka. In the 1960s and into the 1970s his work in individual differences and cognition was published, translated and quoted around the world. Income from his publications came in rupees and yen, lira, pesos and pounds. His children were delighted to find references to his work in their college psychology textbooks and also in their German cousins textbooks. He was recognized with many professional honors including two major grants from the National Institutes of Health and invitations to teach in seminars and at universities around the USA and abroad. He was a theoretician. When he couldnt find a psychological test or equipment to study the fields he wanted to explore, he invented his own. As the president of the Kansas Psychological Association he successfully lobbied for the certification of psychologists in Kansas which was controversial at the time. One source of great pleasure for him was his in-depth study of 105 pairs of local twins. For all of his fame in his field, maybe his personal favorite recognition was his honorary invitation to membership in Topekas Mothers of Twins Club. Riley had a hungry mind. He was a lifelong student of music, the English language, geography, and every aspect of science. As his physical health failed, the Internet gave him satisfying access to the breaking news in his various fields of interest. In his last weeks, he was learning about quantum physics from a DVD recording of a Stanford University class and a book by Stephen Hawking. The child of a piano teacher, Riley was an accomplished musician. Until emphysema took his wind, he played clarinet and saxophone in swing bands and chamber music groups. There was always music in his head and in his life. Riley had his hobbies. He tinkered with maintaining the same home since 1953. He enjoyed growing flowers and he worked hard nurturing his lawn. His ongoing battle with crab grass provided some neighborhood children with their first exposure to cussing a blue streak. He loved taking care of cars. He drove his cars for decades, most famously a 1950 Chevy that he drove for 30 years. He made a name for himself in certain circles by painting his aging automobiles with a brush or hobby-and-craft spray paint from Woolworths. He liked catching trout with a fly rod. His humor was whimsical. When there was no term for whatever he wanted to express, he would make one up. He was creative and fun, completely unrestricted by convention. Driven and intense in his working years as a psychologist, Riley came home on his 49th birthday a different man. His research programs went on without him for some years beyond that day, but he was rarely seen at his office again. He struggled with mental illness at various points throughout his life. It was hard to tell if this transition was healthy or a lapse, but in retirement he found the happiest role of his life: there has never been a more devoted grandfather. For granddaughter Samantha Crow and her friends, Riley was simply Opa. He loved his role as her full-time caregiver, tutor and companion while her parents worked. He became an active school volunteer when she went to school. He was the chauffeur for her and her friends daily. To everyones surprise but his own, he reveled in his role as a nurturing caregiver. While he was not a religious man, Riley believed with all of his heart that the universe is a maximizing process and that it is the responsibility of each and all of us to contribute to the positive energy as best we can, including to be good to each other without exception. Those who loved him aspire to follow his lead. Riley is survived by his wife of 57 years, Ruth Gardner. Their daughter Helen Crow and her husband Dan live in Topeka; granddaughter Samantha Crow now lives in Palo Alto, CA. Riley and Ruths son Mark Gardner and Marks daughter Daya English live in Minneapolis, MN. Rileys sister Katherine McElwain, 90, lives in Silver Springs, MD. Arrangements were handled by the Kevin Brennan Family Funeral Home. Memorial contributions may be made to Topekas Latch-Keyboard Project, providing music for children who cannot afford private keyboard music study, c/o Dr. Shiao-Li Ding, Washburn University, 1700 SW College, Topeka, KS 66621. Dr. Riley W. Gardner
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Sponsored by Samantha Quist, granddaughter.
Dears Mark Gardner and Daya Gardner, I am so sorry to read about your father' s passing. I know he lives on through a great son Mark and his wonderful grand-daughter Daya. Mounir Tber
Mounir Tber
June 27, 2016
Dear Ruth, Helen, and Dan,
Such happy memories you have shared with us, with the Menninger Cinic remnant, and with our daughter Janet of your THS class of '70! Our families have been entwined in a number of nice ways, including the research the Petronis did for the book "Two Four Six Eight, When You Gonna Integrate". May all your memories continue to grow into an even more detailed portrait of an extraordinarily kind, caring, and brilliant man.
Nickie and Joe Stein (and on Janet's behalf)
Nickie Stein
October 31, 2007
We received your news with great sadness and have read the attached obituary with all the members of our family. It is with much sadness we are now sharing in your pain and we wish to send our condolences at this time. Knowing that Opah was going through a painful struggle we believe that he is in a restful place and no longer struggles with pain. I hope this gives you some strength and relief. The short time in which we spent with Opah we saw a beautiful man with a golden heart who received us with open arms and this we will never forget.
Across the miles we wish to send you much love, strength, hugs and blessings from the Chilean Family.
Oscar and Lisett
Oscar Zambra
October 29, 2007
Ruth,
We are profoundly sorry for your loss. You and your family are in our prayers and thoughts. Please know that we love and so does your Heavenly Father. Much love, Michael and Beverly Keffer
Michael & Beverly Keffer
October 29, 2007
Helen - It's Elaine Pool. Mona emailed me this beautiful tribute to your father. I never met him but certainly wish I had. What an extraordinary man he was, leaving a momentous legacy for all who knew and loved him. Helen, I moved back "home" to Kansas City after 27 long years away. I'd love to see you and Dan again during one of my frequent visits to Topeka. Again, my sincere condolences for your loss. Fondly, Elaine
Elaine Pool
October 29, 2007
I remember Dr. Gardner with fond memories from when I was part of the Menninger twin studies. I always looked forward to the days we would go to the Menninger Campus for the various tests. He made taking tests fun and only much later when I ran across some of the studies when doing research for my own Master's degree, did I realize how far reaching his research went. I am sorry for your family's loss and hope the fond memories you cherish will bring you peace in the days ahead.
Georgia Deatrick
October 29, 2007
Cheryl and I were so surprised and saddened to learn of Riley's passing. Riley was a model Opa and loved by both of our children who knew him all of thier lives. We will miss him very much.
Sam Crow
October 28, 2007
Helen, Dan, and Samantha,
We are so sorry to hear of your recent loss of your father, father-in-law, and "Opa". I so enjoyed him when seeing him at Topeka High or at Dillards. Remember, all of the happy times all of you spent with him! You are in our hearts and prayers at this sad time!
Love, Ray, Pam and Natalie McComas
October 28, 2007
Helen,
I never had the opportunity to know your Dad, but I think we are often fortunate to be our parent's children.
Certainly from what I read here,
that must be true with you.
Lucky you!
Thank You for sharing your Father's life with us, and your family's, and our community's rewards for having him in our life.
Hugs!
Cheryl Logan
October 28, 2007
Helen & family,
So sorry to read about your father in the paper. He must have been an interesting man and a wonderful Grandfather! You will all cherish those memories. My prayers to you and your family.
Cheryl McCrite
October 28, 2007
Ruth:
Yesterday we know about Opa´s journey. We knew him only two years ago and the little time we could talk with him we understand his way to see the world and his desire to share with everyone the loveliest things that he had. He never doubts to share your love and time and the wonderful time of your daughter Helen Crow and granddaughter Samantha Crow with us. Maybe he never thought that his positive energy was transmitted also to foreign people like we are. We are witnesses that those who loved him do follow his lead.
Thanks Dr. Riley W. Gardner for that little but wonderful time you spent with us and for your wonderful family.
Our condolences to you Ruth and the family.
Antonio Vilches, Mirtha Chang and sons.
Viña del Mar, Chile
Antonio Vilches
October 28, 2007
Helen and Family, sincere condolences for your loss. He sounded like a fascinating man.
Henry Spangler
October 28, 2007
Helen & Family......I played sax along side with Riley in the Menninger Band for close to twenty years.....The thoughts shared in his obituary are very special, and certainly a last gift you could give him.....Love to You All.....Deanna Woerner
Deanna Woerner
October 28, 2007
Ruth, I must say it was a pleasure to get to know Riley. I am thankful for the opportunity and offer my prayers for you and your family.
Matt Miller
October 26, 2007
Helen, I just want you to know that we are thinking about you at this time. This is a sad time for all of you. I hadn't seen your dad for a long time, but the memories I have of him are very fond ones. He was with Samantha all of the time while she was growing up. I would sometimes see them at the park and our Sam and your Samantha would play. That's been at least 23 or more years ago? I remember his car with its "paint job". He was a dear man. You were very blessed to have him as your father, but he was very blessed to have you as his daughter. I still cherish your Christmas cards every year and have kept them all. May the Holy Spirit give your family peace during this time. God Bless You.
Dawn and Peter Lindner [email protected]
October 26, 2007
Dear Helen and family,
I am so sad for you and your family with the loss of your Father. Just know that I am thinking about all of you and my prayers are with you.
Sheryl Pheasant
October 26, 2007
My condolences to you and the family. A great man has left us. I worked with Dr. Gardner at Menninger and it was one of lifes pleasures.
John Barrett
October 26, 2007
Ruth our family will miss Riley a great deal. Riley was always very kind to Jacob and Rylee when they were little and it was always a comfort to me to have such caring neighbors. You both made us all feel welcome 12 years ago when we moved in across the street and I will never forget that.
Doug, Suzanne, Brian, Jacob and Rylee Burris.
Doug Burris
October 25, 2007
Ruth, We are so sorry. Kendall loved you and Riley so much.. Our
prayers are with you at this time.
Kendall Catlin and Randall Rhodes
Randall Rhodes
October 25, 2007
Helen, I am so sorry about the loss of your Father, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Cinda
Cinda Kunkler
October 25, 2007
Ruth,
In April 2003 I started attending Noon Mass and enjoyed praying and visiting with you. I have missed praying with you at Noon Mass these last two years, ever since you said Riley needed you to stay at his side at all times. I spoke with your mother on Sunday 10/14/07 at the College Hill home tour, and she said Riley was in the hospital recovering from a bout of pneumonia. Your mother smiled at my two-year-old daughter, Julianna, and said she looked similar to Samantha at that age. Ruth, I know your prayers helped bring Julianna into the world. For that, and for so many of your beautiful thoughts and gestures over the years: Thank You!!! Riley and you are in my prayers. "Eternal peace grant unto him, O God. May perpetual light shine upon him. May Riley rest in peace. Amen." I lit a holy candle after Mass today. Consider yourself hugged!!!
Love, Brenda
Brenda (Meier) Reynoldson
October 25, 2007
Your Dad always made me feel so special. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Hugs
DC
October 25, 2007
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