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Marc Hayutin Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for Marc Hayutin
susan lerner
June 8, 2024
In loving memory of a wonderful person. We will love you and miss you always.
Susan Lerner
September 20, 2020
Wonderful and caring friend
Susan Lerner
September 20, 2020
I remember Marc and Stephanie well from Harvard Law school. Wonderful people
Mike Kelley
October 24, 2019
Dear Marc:
We were partners for more than 30 years and throughout that time I respected you as one of the most accomplished and skilled lawyers I knew. I also regarded you as a lawyer of integrity who balanced a fierce devotion to our clients interests with a commitment to the higher ideals of the profession.
In his book The Lost Lawyer, Tony Kronman argued that our ailments as a profession stem from a waning of ideals. I am skeptical of professors offering assessments from the cloisters of the academy regarding the causes of conditions in the trenches where you and I worked, but I think Kronman was on to something.
In particular, his decrying of the decline of what he called the lawyer statesman ideal seems correct. About this concept he wrote: the statesman aims at the good of the community to which he or she belongs and the statesmans special virtue consists in an extraordinary devotion to this good and a superior capacity for discerning where it lies. He also said, The lawyer statesman was an ideal of character. This meant that as one moved toward it, one became not just an accomplished technician but a distinctive and estimable type of human being a person of practical wisdom.
Marc, you as much as any lawyer I have known, embodied this ideal. It is what made you an exemplary lawyer, a wonderful mentor, a leader who inspired everyone in your practice group, and a wonderful partner and friend. I remain honored to have been your partner and to have worked alongside of you for so many years.
With all best wishes,
Mike Kelley
Claire Goldblum
July 28, 2019
When I was told that Marc had stopped speaking, I was incredulous . How could this brilliant man, who always had something to say be silenced. We met Marc when our daughter, Nancy Geller, had the good sense to marry into this wonderful family, and we fell in love with all of them, instantly.
All of you know what an incredible husband he was, and how his loving and adoring wife, Steph, matched him perfectly, we all know what an amazing brother he was to his loving sisters, and how his amazing parenting skills, segued into amazing grand parenting skills.
Brilliant lawyer, philanthropist, renaissance man, world traveler, all of this pales in what he was to me: my cancer mentor. Oh, my dear friend, gone too soon! Your absence will always be present in my life.
Sandy Campbell
July 20, 2019
"How is your daughter?" - a question that always preceded his reason for calling our office. I was grateful to have been part of Marc's healthcare team for the last 7 years, and when he learned of my child's cancer diagnosis, he immediately set to work to find out how he could help. That's just a small part of who Marc was - a compassionate champion for children fighting a similar battle. I feel blessed to have known him and to have witnessed his strength and grace through his many challenges. I will never forget his kindness and the example he set for all who knew him. Rest in peace.
Amy Contreras
July 15, 2019
GRANDCHILDREN'S GRAVESIDE BURIAL POEMS FOR MARC
Agapanthus
By Elena Montes (17 yrs)
Standing over a body
Gripping and ungripping my fist
Running my finger over his palm
Death's finality whispers in my ear
Words knock me over the side of the head
Fading in and out of focus
Splashing out of your mouth and circling down the drain
I'm sorries bob up and down in LA sewers next to coke cans
and old beers
Tell me
what are your words worth to me?
I look for meaning and instead find ash
A gold wedding ring
A creased photograph
I look for meaning and instead find a teapot
Balanced precariously
Screaming savagely
Begging to be taken off the fire
I look for meaning and instead find smog
The moon hanging above the cityscape
Obscured by a thick layer of filth
Standing over a body
Gripping and ungripping my fist
Running my finger over his palm
I see not pale skin
But blue flowers
I smell not death
But life
Its beauty whispers in my ear
______________________________
Love
By Bianca Hayutin (11 yrs)
Love is strong, love is powerful. Love is the thing that either makes or breaks us. Love can be many things, like a heart beating steadily, pounding in someone's chest, or a key, a key to unlock something more powerful than anything you could ever imagine. Know the love, feel it. Everyone wants to be loved. Be aware and you shall see, the things love can bring. But to love you must hope, hope that you can survive another day, push through sadness and anger. You have to be a warrior, the warrior who fights, the one who has to earn what is placed before oneself, the one that flies higher than anyone else, because they seek something greater, something much more deep. You have to be the warrior that seeks love.
True love comes from within. You just have to see it to believe it.
I always knew Grandpa as the kindest, loving, most knowing person of all time. He was always a fighter, but you can't fight forever. That was something he knew. I loved him more than I could ever express through words, and thinking of him reminded me, Doctor Seuss once said: Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
_____________________________
Can You See Me?
By Chloe Contreras (11 yrs)
Dear Grandpa,
How's heaven? I am really sorry that you had to pass when Trump was still our president. I love you so much.
Can you see me?
This just seems unreal, you know? When we watched John Wick together, I thought your journey could only go uphill. I guess I was wrong.
Grandpa, can you see me?
When you were sick, you showed me this big red book. And to be honest, I thought it was kind of boring. But now, I would give anything for you to show me that book again. I would give anything, for you to tell me a random piece of knowledge and go on and on about it again. I would give anything, for you to push me on your little yellow swing one last time.
Hey Grandpa, can you see me?
I would give anything, to watch you laugh silently, but shrug your shoulders and slap the table again. Oh Grandpa, I would give anything to hear you say, lubba lubba, once last time. And Grandpa, I would give the whole world, to hold your hand again.
Can you see me?
Lubba lubba,
Your granddaughter, Chloe
________________________________
Dear Grandpa
By Luca Hayutin (8 yrs)
Dear Grandpa,
I am so sorry this happened. I love you so much. We have made so many memories during the past years. This made me realize that you were not feeling good and I hope you are now feeling better in Heaven. I remember when we went to Snores and Roars and the lions woke us up. We got to watch the elephants. On the way there, I had so much fun playing with you and grandma. You will always be in my heart and I will never forget you. You are one of the best grandpas out there.
Love,
Luca
Amy Contreras
July 15, 2019
EULOGIES FROM MARC'S 7-14-19 MEMORIAL SERVICE
Howard Rubinroit:
Among the most rewarding, fulfilling, and inspiring aspects of my career and life over the last 50 years was my close association--both professional and personal-- with Marc. He was perhaps the most complete and balanced person I have ever known--a dedicated and devoted husband, father, grandfather, brother, and friend about which you be will hearing more from friends and family members who will be speaking today; a tireless and
highly effective contributor to political and social justice and good; a remarkably talented, efficient, and, in my estimation, unparalleled lawyer and counselor; a true partner in all its aspects; a dedicated and faithful mentor to the lawyers with whom he worked many of them here in this room; and a thoroughly honorable and principled man a total mensch in all his dealings.
Marc earned and held the respect of all those with whom he interacted, including many sophisticated, renowned and powerful people in their fields, who, often over many decades, sought his help, advice, and counsel. Again, many of you , in a testament to Marc, have come long distances to be here today to remember and honor him. And, the praise he consistently received in the profession, from his firms, colleagues, clients, and even those on the other side of his deals, never went to his head; changed or altered his persona; or caused him to ignore, slight, or fail to recognize and share the credit with those who provided him support.
Given his varied talents and the soundness and wisdom of his counsel, Marc was consistently recognized and honored by the profession and his peers he was listed as a leading US Real Estate Lawyer by Chambers USA and the Legal 500 Best Lawyers, was the leader in founding, growing, and achieving remarkable success and recognition for the new firm we founded, Hayutin, Rubinroit, Praw, and Kupietzky, as well as in driving a merger of our firm with one of the countrys great law firms, Sidley Austin, where Marc then served as head of the Los Angeles Real Estate Department, as well as coleader of Sidleys Global Real Estate Practice.
As significantly, Marc somehow found time to participate in many legal and social causes starting with contributing in the early 70s to an influential amicus brief in Roe v. Wade while at Mitchell Silverberg & Knupp. For a number of years, he served on the Board of the Los Angeles Chamber Orchestra and on the Board, including as Chairman for several years, of Skid Row Housing Trust. Most recently, he was a forceful advocate for the Right to Try law, which gives terminally ill patients, like Marc, the ability to obtain drug and other treatments not yet approved by the FDA.
Perfectly illustrating Marcs extraordinary persona is the message he asked to be circulated to professional colleagues shortly before he passed, and I quote: I want to take this opportunity to express my appreciation for each of you for the positive ripple effects you have had on my career and growth as a human being. This doesnt mean only the advice of a senior partner or mentor, or the loyalty of a long-term secretary, but includes the smile of the receptionist or garage cashier, a hello from the librarian, a passing smile from a staff member.
I consider it a great honor, treasure, and am very appreciative that Marc chose to share with me his professional life, path, and responsibilities for some 50 years, as I know is true of all the many colleagues he mentored, encouraged, and helped develop over the years. I marvel at his life, not the least because of his and Stephanies strength, determination, and grace in together
fighting through, and being able to enjoy and maximize their joy of life, during Marcs last six years. Terry and I will forever cherish his and Stephanie's friendship, and hold
Marc high in our memory.
Rest in Peace Marc--you have thoroughly have earned it!
____________________________________________________________________________________
Ron DeFelice:
Marc and I knew each other for all of our adult lives. We met in 1962, ages 18 and 19, at a get-together for the students who would be attending Stanford-in-France the following autumn. There, we managed to get into a vigorous argument about, of all things, the Crusades. And we were not yet sophomores. About a year ago, in reminiscing about our first meeting, we both remembered my words at one point:
Marc, how can I take seriously anything you ever say if you are still so concerned about the Crusades?
In fact, things turned out to be the exact opposite. I found Marc intelligent, engaged, informed, interesting. I looked forward to getting to know him better in the fall and having more arguments. Marc could talk more and faster than anyone I had ever met.
In France, Marc was an avid hitchhiker. He often invited one of the women students to accompany him because he thought that would enhance the chances of getting a ride. From the reports of those women, Marc chattered away to the drivers in mangled French all during the road trips. Similarly, cab drivers throughout the world can attest to having had lengthy discussions with him about matters both trivial and serious, although as far as I know the Crusades never came up.
After college, Marc and I enrolled in Harvard Law School. The previous summer, he had married Stephanie, his high-school sweetheart. Vicky and I met Stephanie for the first time in Harvard Square. I clearly remember her sitting in Marcs fathers cast-off Oldsmobile. The car was a bit shabby and had a cracked window. I think I remember the car because I was struck by the contrast between it and Marc and Stephanies relationship. Marc was obviously devoted to Stephanie and there were no dents, cracks or flaws in that devotion.
The law school years are intense, and it was during those years that I really got to know Marc. He and I were in the same study group and were brief partners in the moot court competition. Marc buoyed my spirits with his enthusiasm for the law, his calm demeanor and his moral support. He was a steadfast, discreet and reliable friend and remained so for more than fifty years.
Marc loved to travel and the more exotic the destination the better. Vicky and I made many trips with him and Stephanie. It was on a trip to Africa in 1997 that an incident so typical of Marc occurred. At one of the camps, we were lodged in individual huts spread out about the area. Each night after dinner, we were escorted to our individual hut by an impressive young Masai warrior. He was dressed in traditional garb and carried a spear to fend off wild animals. Marc decided that there was no reason that someone so elegant, so reliable and so brave should not have the benefit of a college education. He talked excitedly about plans to bring the young man to live with him and Stephanie and attend Santa Monica College. Stephanie, barely able to conceal her alarm but with the utmost tact, talked Marc out of this noble, but wildly impractical, idea.
In other spheres of life, Marcs impulse to help others found more effective expression. He described himself as, and was, a bleeding heart. Perhaps the most notable example is his work for the Los Angeles Skid Row Housing Trust, for which he served as Chair for years. Marc and Stephanie also supported with time and donations other causes and charities too numerous to mention.
In September of 2013, Vicky and I joined Marc and Stephanie on a trip to Berlin. We noticed that he had a persistent cough. None of us thought too much about it because he had a history of asthma and allergies. A few weeks after we returned, he sought medical attention. A chest X-ray revealed extensive tumors in the lungs. It was devastating news.
Marc reacted with a determination to prolong his life as long as possible. In an act of quiet defiance, he purchased two new suits from his tailor. A course of chemotherapy proved to be unsuccessful, however, and the outlook dimmed. Many of you may remember Marcs 70th birthday party, which was a veiled farewell.
Then, with the help of some devoted clients, brilliant consultants and imaginative doctors, a treatment designed for a totally different kind of cancer was provided to Marc. It was successful beyond all expectations and prolonged his life for five years. They were in large part good years, which he devoted to his passions: practicing law, helping others, traveling and enjoying his family. Importantly, there were five years more for his grandchildren to get to know him.
The miraculous treatment began to lose its effectiveness over time. Marc approached his illness then and throughout with courage and determination. But several more treatments proved futile.
Shortly after Marcs original diagnosis, he mentioned to us a story that the tailor of the two new suits had told him about Arthur Ashe. The story was very important to Marc and he referred to it a number of times during the five years that followed. It expressed his own sentiments about his affliction.
At age forty-nine, Ashe died of AIDS contracted from a blood transfusion. When he was first diagnosed, he said:
At least 50 million children take tennis worldwide. Fifty thousand play Circuit A. Some five thousand compete for Grand Slams and barely fifty make it to Wimbledon. Of those, there is only one winner.
When I held up the trophy at Wimbledon, I didnt ask, Why me? And I do not ask it now.
And so Marc left this world with the grace that characterized his life.
_________________________________________________________________________
George Petrow:
A very wise lawyer Marc Hayutin
Was often disposed to say a ton
But with his counsel so sound
By the dollar or pound
His clients were happy to pay a ton
And when everythings all said and done
Marc inhabited a class of one
A unique combination
For one of his station
Much accomplished, beloved and fun
______________________________________________________________________________
Top 20 Fun Facts You May Not Know About Marc Hayutin:
Matthew Hayutin and Amy Hayutin Contreras
1.He often fell into trouble as a hyperactive and irreverent child with his teacherstoday he mightve been diagnosed with ADHD and medicated. Luckily his mother adored him enough to foster his healthy ego anyway.
2.He was a frequent schoolyard brawler, both bullied and defender of others.
3.He was one of two Jews at Littleton High School.
4.Marc knew he wanted to be a lawyer from the age of three.
5.He grew up with horses in the Denver countryside and had a huge Palomino named Shooting Star.
6.He was a heroic klutz and profoundly accident prone, whether it was breaking his thumb while playing a game of chicken in the backyard with Hannibal, our great dane, or tumbling head over tail down an entire Mammoth ski run until he slid to a stop at the bottom with his snow pants around his ankles, right under the ski lift where we all cheered when he stood up and pumped his gloved fists.
7.He had a temper. Countless epithets were uttered, tables pounded, and tennis rackets hurled. He swore with increasing frequency at malfunctioning computers and TV programs featuring hapless newscasters and uninformed politicians.
8.Marc had a photographic memory that unfortunately none of us inherited, which is why well no longer remember the dates when anything happened or will ever happen again.
9.Activities at which he failed miserably: dancing with any rhythm, French and Spanish accents, and drawing anything beyond a kindergarten stick figure.
10.Marc didnt play sports as a youth because he was asthmatic and blind as a bat.
11.The unequivocal king of segues and tangents, he was the giver of the most heartfelt and longest toasts of all time.
12.He co-founded the Santa Monica Synagogue in 1981, a splinter group of Beth Shalom refugees that eventually bloomed into a community of 250 families.
13.He was a self-proclaimed atheist, despite a deep connection to Judaism.
14.Marc loved reading and action movies, debating history and politics, classical music, opera and the Denver Broncos.
15.He played mahjong, bridge, poker, and scrabble; his turns ran so epically long and his wins grew so inevitable that we finally had to institute a timer.
16.Things Dad hated: Donald Trump, being late, musicals, liars and cheats, the pogroms and anyone who ever wronged the Jewish people.
17.He loved Halloween and hyper-decorated the entire front yard every year.
18.His favorite song to play on the piano was Fur Elise by Claude Debussy.
19.Dad frequently pointed out interesting rock formations to his snoring children in the back seat, and would outlast his entire family, not to mention the guards and docents, in major museums throughout the world.
20.Our parents began dating in their junior year of high school. That first summer proved exhausting for Dad, as for every date he had with our mother, he had to schedule another with a nice Jewish girl. But true love won, the Hayutin family welcomed Mom with open arms (even before she converted), and they were happily married for 54 years.
__________________________________________________________________________
Matthew Hayutin:
As many children do, I idolized my father. But what was once just a boy lionizing his dad grew into a lifelong love and appreciation for a man who was far more powerful in the times he was most vulnerable. When he removed his jacket, if not his tie, and talked about what he really thought and felt. Especially when he admitted hed made a mistake at work, or hurt someones feelings, or lost his temper.
By the time many folks reach their sixties, if not far sooner, they tend to stop evolving. Opinions calcify like cartilage, values harden like arteries. The clarion call to Know Thyself becomes a quiet thing.
Not with my father.
I remember when were lying awake in our beds in the dark, jet-lagged in Paris on a father-son bonding trip most people never have the means to take. It was in our dark hotel room when he suddenly confessed his definition of academic and professional success had been far too narrow, the product of a dangerous myth that can swallow so many of us whole. And by admitting to himself and to me that hed been an intellectual snob for far too many years, he shed his own skin. Which helped me do the same. It was beautiful to witness that kind of hard work, to see him change and inspire that effort in me and others around him.
Because its never too late to change.
When he became sick, his emotions bubbled to the surface, unbridled. I saw him cry more in the last year than Id witnessed in our entire lives together. With increasing frequency, his fist came down in rage or his head fell back as he laughed even harder. I wouldnt change any of that.
Like all of us, my father wanted more time. Unlike most of us, he fought and won so much more of it. Miracle time. And I got to watch him spend those days that stretched into years with so many of us here today.
My favorite writing teacher was a novelist and friend named Les Plesko. I scribbled down a line from one of his novels and carried it in my wallet until the paper fell apart:
To see a thing clearly is to create beauty.
Its something my father always labored to do. Envisioning an elegant solution to a seemingly impossible negotiation that no one else conceived. Listening carefully to others until they discovered their own best decision. Planning so far ahead to provide for his wife, children, grandchildren and so many others he loved.
And just as he never stopped fighting for his own life, he battled for many of you who stopped everything else to be here, right now, in this beautiful temple. My father was a passionate warrior. And while he always fought fair, there was no mercy for anyone in power who dared take advantage of someone. The people at Skid Row Housing Trust and his clients witnessed this. The women at Sidley felt it. His sisters and children experienced it whenever any of us called him for help.
Perhaps in this area of his life, no evolution was required. He was just born that way.
In the years he was sick, we spent a lot of time together in hospitals. And while those werent the memories anyone wants to carry, something truly good came from all those hours. In some small way, I could finally be there for him, just as he was always there for me. It couldnt be easy for him to require that, let alone accept it. But even then, when his body betrayed itself, there was grace and dignity in what we were doing.
The night before we were to bury my father, the family was gathered at a local restaurant to celebrate my daughter Biancas graduation from sixth grade. The meal was winding down and I told some of his grandchildren what was going to happen the next morning.
We talked about the casket and the hole in the ground. The reluctant shovels and all that dirt.
Im not doing that, my son Luca announced. Im not saying goodbye to grandpa.
Of course Luca was absolutely right. It was true that evening just as remains true right now, and always. We refuse to say goodbye. Instead, we choose to remember.
Because hes still with us, Luca reminded us.
And like all of us who loved my father, Im still learning what grief is and what it does. Its a tricky thing that arrives especially when I dont hear it coming. When Im driving alone and a song comes on that we both loved. Or when Im visiting my mom and I step into their closet to smell his shirts or touch all those beautiful ties with the back of my hand. One time I even found myself talking to him. Just for a moment, before I heard myself and remembered.
Theres no map for where grief takes us. But I hope that in being here together we can find some comfort that were not alone, just as my father wasnt remotely adrift when he passed away.
I want to close with a poem I wrote for this occasion.
The cathedral burned but we went anyway.
My father insisted. Sat up in his bed and informed my wife we had to go.
It was Paris, I was turning 50, he was still very much alive.
We ignored the harbingers of missed flights and lost luggage.
An unforgettable dinner by the glittering tower in our wrinkled airplane clothes,
And then the missed messages waiting from my mother
Come home. Come now.
My father cried when I arrived at his hospital bed.
His body had other plans,
The worst itinerary of all.
But Paris never mattered, I reminded him. The city wasnt going anywhere.
And for a few more weeks, that was true for him, too.
This is how it ends:
The women cut down all those fresh stalks of agapanthus
Waving from the driveway he couldnt quite see from his bed, finally back at home
For the last time.
My mother rested them on his pillow, my wife and sister laid them at his sides,
the same blooms my niece wrote about,
The ones my mother brought with us in vases to Ojai, when it still wasnt over.
Even after the new widow finally scattered the stems there on the hill,
A few, defiant petals followed her back into the house
And stowed away in our bags where we found them again, still in bloom.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Amy Hayutin Contreras:
As youve heard, Dad LOVED being a lawyer. His passion for his work, combined with his incredible drive and work ethic, made Dad a workaholic. Our mom can certainly attest to and bemoan his many absences during dinners and driving duties, fevers, appointments, and meltdowns. But long before we all knew the term mindfulness, or talked about the idea of being an engaged parent, our dad was exactly that. Because of how present, interactive and reflective he was, in everything he did, whether it was a family dinner, a single conversation, or an activity, we felt his strong and earnest presence. He didnt seem busy or rushed when he was with us in the moment. When I look back, I dont remember him being gone all the time at work or feeling disappointed and missing him. Instead, I remember Dad being very present; coming to every performance and soccer game, running up and down the sidelines shouting for me go get em and fight harder. I remember our hilarious and irreverent family dinners, that our house was the place to be because the conversations were so fun, lively, and yes, sometimes not entirely appropriate. I remember Dad tucking me into bed, all the way into high school, and having short, but very real and thoughtful chats about the day. He got me to slow down and think, to think about why I did certain things, what my goals and dreams were, what I wanted to do differently. I was a teen who was in a hurry to grow up and Dad always encouraged me to slow down, not to take life so seriously, to stop and smell the roses.
Dad really made me believe I could accomplish anything I set out to do. He taught me to take risks, to embrace adventure, not to shy away from adversity. He taught me to care about others less fortunate than I and to socialize with all kinds of people. He ignited my love of foreign languages and cultures. He showed me the importance of working hard, taught me to take pride in my work and to have self-confidence. When things got difficult, one of his favorite sayings was, This too shall pass. Dad showed me that mistakes are part of life and necessary for growth, that I could be vulnerable and still be strong, that I could change my mind, that I could say Im sorry. Our parents marriage, their love and devotion, has been an incredible guiding force and inspiration. Of course Dad wasnt perfect, but he set the bar pretty darned high. Dad is a huge part of who I am today, as a parent, a spouse, a friend, a community volunteer, and a businesswoman.
If he werent a lawyer, Dad surely should have been a professor, as he most definitely loved to teach and would share his knowledge of history and politics, science and art with everyone and anyone who would listen. His ability to tie ideas together and grasp the big picture, get to the underlying questions, conflicts, and the crux of an issue, was special. Its what enabled him to help me study for history tests in high school; when I struggled to memorize dates and facts, he told me the stories behind the facts with compassion, neutrality, perspective and of course wild gesticulations. This ability was also what made him so successful at conflict resolution with family members, friends and with both sides in major business deals. Dads generosity with his time, his resources, and his talents was truly something to behold. He helped so many family members, friends and even acquaintances with legal issues and business matters.
Dad loved to meet people and hear their stories. He struck up conversations with strangers in elevators and taxicabs, parking lots, airplanes and while waiting in line. He was truly curious and interested in learning about foreign cultures, exchanging ideas, analyzing and debating with people who disagreed with his point of view. He was extremely inclusive of people from different ethnicities, cultures and socio-economic backgrounds. Dad truly cared. His engaged, mindful interactions with everyone around him is what made for such meaningful attachments to such a wide circle of people in all walks of his life.
Dad often told us that the house, the money, even the beloved trips didnt really matter; that what mattered was working hard and what was on the inside.that he would have been just as happy as a grocery store owner. Im not sure I quite believe that last part, but the sentiment was inspiring, and opened the door for us to carve our own paths, even unconventional ones, and we knew we would have his blessing as long as we were happy and healthy. Our parents not only provided Matthew and me with amazing educations and opportunities at great personal sacrifice, they supported our talents and dreams. They believed in us and have seen us through some very challenging times.
Once I became a busy working parent of two, I realized just how incredible Dad and Mom were. I finally understood the deep love and pride they felt for us. Parenting is amazing, deeply satisfying and humbling. But its also absolutely exhausting and relentless, and I think back now in awe about the energy, passion, and joy Dad brought to his busy life and to ours, day after day. He made pancakes after every sleepover, he planned family trips with highly orchestrated itineraries, he went to board meetings and took us to synagogue, he played games with us, helped us rehearse lines and study for tests... all on top of such a demanding work schedule. Its no wonder he fell asleep at the drop of a hat on any couch, train, bus or plane.
The most positive things about Dad as a father, he brought in spades to his role as a grandfather! When I was a single mom during Elenas earliest years, my parents stepped in to be significant caregivers for her, enabling me to work more, play more, and be alone a whole lot less. Dad and Mom were not the type of grandparents who just babysat occasionally. No, they came to every special event for each grandchild and have seen more soccer games, dance performances, and plays than I can count. The kids all had regular sleepovers with Grams and Gramps, and traveled to San Francisco, San Diego, New York and even Japan for special trips without their parents. Dad drove Elena to school in Koreatown on his way to Sidley three days a week for four years. He had such a special relationship with each of his four grandchildren and appreciated them for their unique talents, struggles, insights, and personalities. We apologize now for the years of shameless bragging you had to listen to!
Elena, Bianca, Chloe, Luca... Grandpa absolutely adored you and was so very proud of you. Even though we cant see him or touch him anymore, I hope that you will always remember the fun times you had with him and feel the love he had for you.
Dad loved life and lived his to its fullest. He had a great life; he knew it and was so grateful for everything he had. I can honestly say that I dont think he had any regrets. Its hard to believe that we wont hear his voice, hug him, laugh with him or get to ask him any more questions. I know we will all miss him terribly and that his death leaves a big hole in our hearts and in our daily lives. But I feel SO blessed and honored to have had him as a father.
Thank you, Dad, for all that you have given to me and to us all. You will continue to be an inspiration to us as long as we live. We will never forget you and we will never, ever, stop loving you.
Richard Havel
July 15, 2019
This is a story of one simple act of kindness. It is not my story, but I get to be the middle man. We have a good friend, Linda Rosen, who lives in Cheviot Hills. About 8 years ago Linda was shopping at Costco, and at that time the store had limits on what credit cards it would accept. As she got to the check out stand, she realized that she had forgotten to bring her check book. What to do? As she expressed concern the man behind her offered to pay. She was flabbergasted. A perfect stranger reaches out. They talk for a bit as she thanks him profusely (Linda's gift for gab may have matched Marc's) She learns he is with Sidley Austin, and thus shares the story with me when we next meet. He never asked for recognition or reward. It was a generous act that was based on empathy and decency. Marc's example for all of us.
Edward Prokop
July 13, 2019
Stephanie, Matt and Amy:
You have my deepest sympathies on Marcs passing.
Marc was a mentor and friend to me for well over 20 years. He was certainly brilliant, knowledgeable, and wise. But his kindness, strength and hopefulness are what stand out to me the most as I remember him.
Marcs guidance on matters professional and personal greatly improved my life and the lives of so many others. I hope he knew how important he was to his friends and colleagues.
Marc always taught and led by example, never more so than after his diagnosis. I marveled at his optimism and was inspired by his courage. He fought with everything he had. He continued to help others. He remained focused on trying to enjoy every moment he had left. I believe these were Marcs greatest lessons to me. I will never forget them.
Sincerely,
Ed
July 11, 2019
Steph, Amy, and Matt,
You have been in my thoughts daily since I learned of Marc's passing, and I hope that you can take the time you need both to grieve, as well as to celebrate the incredible husband, father, and grandfather whom you loved, and who loved you.
It is a testament to Marc's generous, brilliant, loving, and compassionate spirit that so many have shared messages describing the many ways that he touched their lives.
Marc impacted my life profoundly. Along with Steph, Marc frequently served as my de-facto life advisor, always willing to listen, to help guide me through challenges, and to so generously share his wisdom, time, and expertise. From reviewing drafts of my personal statement for graduate school, to advising me about property tax law and caregiving, and on and on, Marc was always there to offer his support, his honest feedback, and his insightful advice.
Marc was a true mensch, and I hope he knew how indelibly he impacted me, and all of those he took under his wing.
It is difficult to imagine a world without Marc in it, and while I miss him beyond words, it is comforting to know that his spirit will live on through his equally-incredible wife Steph, kids Amy & Matt, grandkids and extended family, and through the deep and lasting impact he has had on those of us who were fortunate enough to be part of his life.
Sending big hugs and all my love to you!
RS
Jacquie Bogg
July 2, 2019
Marc, I cannot begin to express my gratitude for all that you have done for me over the past 32 years (yes, that long). You have been a great legal teacher, life mentor and friend. I especially thank you for giving me the opportunity to come back to Sidley at this point in my life. I count working at Sidley as one of my greatest blessings, and its because of you. ❤ Jacquie
Karen Martin
July 2, 2019
I am sending prayers- Marc helped me many years ago and may not even remember the impact his advice had on my life. I am eternally grateful. Someone gave me an analogy this weekend that each life is like a book, and that together we make a library. Sometimes we rush through to get to the end of the book and sometimes we savor it for months. Marc is book that continues to give, because of the mentorship and advice he gave, more stories are being written. Thank you! Prayers and candles lit.
Best
Karen Blankezee Martin (friend of John Hutt)
Robert Cohen
July 2, 2019
I want Marc to know that I am very thankful for all that he has done for me in the past, whether it was referring a matter, listening to my problems, advising me on how to deal with joint clients, or just talking about the events of the day.
Marc is a sweet man...one of the nicest I have ever met; and in terms of the territory that he has staked out for himself --- international senior partner in big law, at one of the most prestigious firms in the world --- I have never met a kinder, warmer, gracious or more intelligent big firm lawyer.
My prayers go out to Marc's family and know that he has left an indelible mark (no pun intended) on me.
Sincerely,
Bob Cohen
Ross MacDonald
July 2, 2019
I met Marc in connection with the financing (and refinancing) of the Athletes Village for the 2010 Winter Olympic and Paralympic Games in Vancouver. I, along with my former colleague (and friend) Michael Allen, represented the City of Vancouver. Marc represented Fortress Capital, which was providing the financing to the developer, Millennium Development Corporation, through its subsidiary, MSFCP. For several years, this project required dynamic advisory and strategic care. It was not an easy, straight-forward mandate for any of us, with many different players with distinct and, at times, adversarial objectives. Mike and I commented then (and we continue to do so) that Marcs leadership and obvious mastery of his practice, his kind, yet very effective manner and perhaps most importantly, his genuine respect for others all of that established a lofty standard in professional dealings with others that we all strive to achieve to this day. We continue to be very grateful to have worked with Marc and to have maintained a connection over the many ensuing years since the conclusion of that mandate.
I am very sorry. From all his friends and fans in Vancouver, Canada, I convey to Marc's family our good wishes and an assurance that they are in our thoughts and prayers.
Sincerely,
Ross
Hedi & Peter Dunne
July 2, 2019
He (and you) fought so hard and for so long! I guess he had nothing left! I am very sorry.
He left with his family around him! I am happy it was so peaceful!
I will miss him very much.....it was always such a comfort to me to know he was there!
Hedi and I were planning on moving back to Santa Monica next year and I was looking forward to spending more time with Marc.
Love,
Hedi & Peter
Dear Marc,
You have meant so much to me for so many years. It was always such a comfort to know you were there if I needed help. You fought so hard for so long! I was looking forward to your 55th Anniversary celebration. I had hoped to tell the story that when I once called you on some matter, you took the call on the back of an elephant......you never stopped working!
Love,
Hedi & Peter
Susan Stupin
July 2, 2019
My colleague Ted Gamble forwarded your lovely e-mail and the beautiful comments from Marc. I knew him as well as he was very involved on a deal that we did. His wisdom and decency were an important part of getting the deal closed. Even though we were on the other side of the transaction, we knew he was a fair and thoughtful force in the deal. It was a significant deal for us and we are grateful to have met Marc along the way. We still remember the nice time we had with him over drinks at the University Club when we first met. And we also remember his keen intellect and wide interests that went far beyond the law.
Please know that we (Susan Stupin and Ted Gamble) will surely have him and his family in our thoughts and prayers.
Best,
Susan
Linda Boley
July 2, 2019
My deepest sympathy goes out to you and the family for this great loss.
I remember Marc from high school well I remember you both and admired you both.
Marc was one of our smart guys and I hope he was able to use his intelligence and make a difference in the world.
I was sorry to hear that it was cancer that took him. Very nasty stuff.
My best to you. Be good to yourself.
Linda Boley
Hank Fisher
July 2, 2019
Since I learned of Marcs critical situation from Nancy and then of his passing from Laurie last week, Ive revisited memory after memory of my childhood experiences on Orchard Road with Marc, and of course, you, Randi, Adele, and your fantastic parents. There has been so much going through my mind about the Hayutin-Fisher-Sigman family of the 1950s and 1960s that I would not know where to begin other than to say how much love and friendship we all experienced together.
My condolences to you and your sisters. I sincerely hope that the transition without your big brother around goes as smoothly as possible and that Stephanie, Matt, Amy, and Marcs grandchildren are able to move on peacefully while embracing the memories of an amazingly good man.
With love,
Hank
Sandy Clair
July 2, 2019
There are no words to tell you how sorry I am for your loss for everybody's loss. I cannot tell you how lucky I was for 2 and a 1/2 years to spend 45 minutes a day with him. I will treasure that time for as long as I live. I would not miss the opportunity to say goodbye to one of my heroes.
Love, Sandy
Dr. Ernie Prudente
July 2, 2019
As I told your Mom today, condolences to you and your family. Your Dad was such a special guy and I will never forget him. The way he fought for the last 6 years while maintaining his wonderful qualities (and travel) amazed me. I dont think I have ever had a patient handle such a tough diagnosis so well. Of course, your family is equally amazing and can only hope my children will treat me or my wife the way you treated/cared for your parents.
Best, Ernie
Mike Trapani
July 2, 2019
This will be so heart breaking for so many people. One of the great fathers and grandfathers I have ever met passes on Fathers Day weekend - so fitting and no coincidence. All our love to your wonderful family.
God Bless,
Mike & John
Rich Peters
July 2, 2019
I am so so sorry to read this. My heart goes out to you, Stephanie and your whole family. I have nothing but good memories. What a great guy and such a fine lawyer. With respect and fondness.
Rich Peters
Grace Latt
July 2, 2019
Dear family,
My heart goes out to you.
Having known you for some forty years or more it's like losing a family member.
My love and prayers are with you.
Grace Latt
Albert Praw
July 2, 2019
I am so sorry about your loss. His passing is a loss to all who knew him. It hit me pretty hard when Heidi and I were at the house. He had such a big impact on my professional career; I will always feel indebted to him.
As will be the case for me, I hope your memories of your Dad will provide you comfort in days, weeks and months to come.
Albert Praw
Glo Salick
July 2, 2019
I received your message that Marc passed away. I am so sad -- he was so funny and irreverent and great. He will be missed by many, many people. I'm sorry for your loss -- he leaves a terrible void. Love to you at this very hard time. Glo
Dr. Abe Delpassand
July 2, 2019
I am so saddened and sorry to hear this awful news. Azar and I offer our deepest sympathy and condolences to you, Steph, Mathew and the entire close relatives and friends of Marc.
You are in our prayers. I would love to attend to celebrate Marcs life.
With Sympathy,
Abe Delpassand
Trent Browne
July 2, 2019
AwwAmy, I am so sorry. He was such a good guy. Our thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family during this time. Love to all.
Love, Trent and Lynne
Rabbi Jeff Marx
July 2, 2019
I was so sad to hear the news of your fathers death. He was truly a unique guy. While he and I rarely agreed on anything :) during the time he served as president of the synagogue, I could always, always count on his honesty, his ability never to beat around the bush but to state things clearly, and I marveled at his passion. The world is truly not as bright without him in it.
May his memory be a blessing to you and your family in the days ahead.
Rabbi Jeff Marx
Erin Natter
July 2, 2019
It breaks my heart to hear of Marcs passing, and I cant imagine how hard it is for all of you. I know that Marc touched the hearts and lives of so many people. He certainly changed mine in so many ways. Theres no question I wouldnt have the career I have or be the person I am today if I hadnt met your dad and had the joy of his influence and wisdom in my life.
On an even more personal note, my daughter Sophia goes to school with Chloe and loves her dearly and admires her so much. I cant stop thinking and hurting for you and your entire family. Please know you are all in my thoughts and prayers (including your mom, of course), and Im sending lots of love to all of you. Your dad was truly one of a kind, and hes left quite a big hole having passed on.
If theres anything at all I can do during this time, which seems silly in some ways to offer given Marcs reach and influence, but because I truly dont know what else I can do, if theres anything at all, please dont hesitate to ask.
With much love,
Erin F. Natter
Dave Dahman
July 2, 2019
We are so-so sorry for your loss. The last we heard he had fully recovered so we had no idea his life was even at risk.
With all the years your parents lived out there in California we had little opportunity to really know your dad and with the long history your parents had together all through their high school years, I really did not know your dad even then, after all he a Stevie were much, much, older (2 years).
In any case I always admired and greatly respected your dad, not just for his business success, but more for how much he loved your mom, you and your brother. He clearly put a priority on love.
Even though his passing feels premature, its really not because of all the love he had in his heart as he moves from this state of being, on to the next. For as we all know, life in this world is but the blink of an eye in our eternal being.
All of you must really be grieving and that grief is the worst part of his passing. Please keep us in the loop as you move through this most difficult time in your life.
God bless
David Dahman
Dan Clivner
July 2, 2019
I am writing to add my condolences to you and your family on your dads passing. He was a great man. He inspired the fiercest loyalty from his many colleagues and mentees at Sidley through his great intellect, work ethic, decency and generosity of spirit, a courage he showed as well in his battle with cancer. He was loved and rightly so. I was right where you are now in early April, after my Husband passed. There are no words of comfort, but I wanted you to know we are with you as best as we can be at this time. Let me know if you need anything from the firm or me.
Sincerely,
Dan Clivner
Tim Browne
July 2, 2019
I woke up this morning thinking about you all and Julie and I send lots of love. Your Dad has meant so much to us and well miss him terribly.
I loved his sense of humor and his brilliant mind. Always so generous with his time and advice.
I especially remember when we came to visitI must have been about 10 or so. Your folks took us to the set of the show your Dad was consulting on! I thought then, as I do now, that he was a real star!!
Love you guys lots and hold you in our prayers.
Tim
Leslie Keil
July 2, 2019
I am devastated. Your father has been such a huge part of my life... I wouldn't have made it to 40 years here without him. And even after he's been retired, his advice and cheerfulness and just the fact that he's there for me, has gone on. I can't imagine what you are all going through, and honestly, don't know what we are all going to do without him.
Thank you for the update on the memorial. I will start taking notes on all my memories... I have 24 years of being by his side in the office, along with the constant conversations about you all. He sure loved your mom, you and Matt and all the grandchildren so much. He beamed with such pride when he spoke of any one of you.
Please give your mom a big hug for me, and know you are all in my heart and prayers. I truly love you all!!!
XOXO
Leslie
Kris Kirkpatrick
July 2, 2019
Im so saddened to hear the news that Marc lost his battle with cancer. What a brave warrior! He fought the good fight.
Marc was a very special person - funny, brilliant, devoted to family and Im sure a wonderful friend to have. My heart aches for all of you and your children.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love and hugs,
Cousin Kris
Rachel Alena
July 2, 2019
I'm so sorry.
Your dad was a wonderful man. I remember him telling me how much he treasured his time with you guys and your kids. I once asked him if he minded all of the time spent in the car driving the kiddos. His reply was that it was all good because it gave him more time to be with the people he loved. You, your mom, your brother and the grandkids got lucky with having him as your dad! I've always felt that way about both of your parents. They are just really good people.
We are sending you prayers for peace and for the light of the angels to surround during this time. Blessings and love to you all....along with a lot of hugs.
Love,
Rachel
Danny Heyman
July 2, 2019
I am very sorry to hear of your father's passing. You may know of my family as we have long prepared your parent's tax returns, however, we have likely never spoken. As you may know, my father passed away suddenly about 7 years ago. Almost immediately afterwards, your father gave me a chance to take over the relationship and trusted that I would do a good job. He gave me many words of wisdom and a pep talk when I needed it. I enjoyed speaking with him throughout the years. His kindness was apparent, and I particularly valued the advice he gave me. He will always hold a special place in my mind. If there is anything I can do for you and the family, please don't hesitate to let me know.
Best regards,
Danny Heyman
Dr. Tannaz Armaghany
July 2, 2019
I am deeply saddened that Marc is no longer among us. Condolences to you, Stephanie and the rest of the family. He was a wonderful person. His memory will always remain with us.
Yours
Tannaz
Dr. Moshe Rogosnitzky
July 2, 2019
I was very sorry to hear the unfortunate news of Marc's passing.
I was privileged to observe his infallible fighting spirit which enabled him to spend so much precious time with the family he so loved and dearly cherished.
May all the happy memories you have of your time together serve as a source of endless strength and inspiration.
Sally Yeatman
July 2, 2019
We were so sad to hear about Marc's passing on June 11. We remember some great cruises with your parents, as well as some not so great bridge games. Marc was a wonderful guy with his sharp wit as well as folksy manner. I'll always remember him carrying around Steph's oxygen through the pyramids, on the Nile, and by the obelisks on our Egypt trip. Marc gave a good fight to that insidious disease. Your family was a tremendous support to him.
Sally and Larry Yeatman
Annie (Alexander) Casady
July 2, 2019
My heart is filled with the best memories of Marc cheering on his grandchildren at the pool. So much love and adoration he had for Stephanie, his children, their spouses, and of course his grandchildren.
Im so sorry to hear of his passing. His spirit was so full of energy, love, and compassion for others. My heart hurts to know I will miss his service, but Im comforted in knowing hed be thrilled that Brian and I are on an epic camping trip for 8 weeks.
Please give everyone a huge Annie Laurie hug, especially your mom. We hold you all close to our hearts always.
With love always,
Annie Laurie and Brian
Lee Ragas, Skid Row Housing Trust
June 30, 2019
We are saddened to hear of this significant loss. It's comforting to know he was surrounded by those he loved most and loved him most back.
His importance and dedication to Skid Row Housing Trust is beyond words. His passion, commitment and integrity supported and helped the bumpy times of the organization. His advocacy and resilience supported and celebrated through the good times. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for your family during this time.
The leadership team and many employees here will miss Marc, his mentoring and his "open door" availability to us. He was an amazing leader and extraordinary person.
Condolences to you and the Hayutin extended family.
With Respect,
Lee, Monique & Sierra
Ran Goshen
June 30, 2019
Dear Beloved Hayutins,
I am writing again since very sadly, I will be unable to come to LA on July 11th as I am committed to a meeting in London, UK.
Words can't express my pain, neither the memories I will always treasure and share. The memories and time I have traveled with Marc and you as family members. I am so happy I got to see Marc in May, despite the fact he was already in a great misery.
The Journey I was so fortunate to walk with you guys is a dream to come true for any clinician that cares and loves her/his opportunity to improve patients' well being. I was truly honored to have Marc as a patient and you as his supporting members. Marc, with not too many words, embraced and jumped over any gaps of knowledge, while putting himself at the driver's seat and navigating his way in uncharted territories.
There are very few human beings with such capabilities, specifically at the most difficult times. While Marc was a man of people turning them to friends, he rose to the position of being the captain of his ship in a stormy ocean. This way, he allowed all of us, you and us at Eliaso and AdjuvanMed, to travel together to safe harbors and enjoy 5 great years.
My Marc will always remain with me and you guys will always stay my friends.
I will definitely let you know of any visit to LA in the future.
Yours,
Ran
Bill Steelman
June 30, 2019
I am really sorry to hear about your dad; I will be thinking about you and your family. When I sat down to type this email, though, it was primarily positive thoughts that came to mind. Here are a few.
You, your family, and your parents have lived within bicycling distance of one another ever since I have known you (and that is at least since Luca was born).
Your kids have spent an enormous amount of quality time with their grandparents (more than mine probably ever will with theirs, and more than I spent with mine).
Just as importantly, your dad was able to watch your kids personalities, humanity, and values develop.
Your family is a part of a broader community. I dont know of all the boards etc. that your dad was inevitably on via his professional life, but I do know that my kids (and lots of other kids) learned to swim in your parents pool.
I know that your parents house was often our meeting spot to start trick or treating. And not just my familys, but a lot of families.
On numerous occasions, I have told my kids that if anything ever happened at school that they were to go straight to the Sullivans house or your parents house, because they would be safe there.
Your kids got to witness up close what real strength and perseverance looks like.
They have learned what it means to be a fighter and a survivor.
I think most importantly, though, your dad was given the time to see the kind of father that you have become. I am sure that he could not have been prouder. And it is gifts like that, that make life worth living.
Bill
Patrick Spillane, Skid Row Housing Trust
June 30, 2019
My dear Skid Row Family, Friends & Colleagues -
It is with a heavy heart I inform you our Chair Emeritus, Marc Hayutin, Esq. passed yesterday after loosing his years-long battle with a rare and aggressive cancer. As with all things Marc accomplished, he defied the odds engaging in numerous experimental and unique treatments which allowed him to grace us for many great years of his continued and unwavering service, advice, wise counsel, and true friendship.
Marc served on the Trust Board for almost 16 years, was Chair for 6 1/2 years from 2007 until 2014, and has been an inspiration, sounding board, and our elder wise man for my tenure with the Trust and especially to me in his role as Chair Emeritus.
He is sorely missed already and a great light of his championing for the less fortunate and his can-do spirit in tackling the insurmountable has been extinguished in Los Angeles
He was surrounded by family and loved ones with the funeral happening as soon as today Im told by Nancy Geller. More details as we receive them.
The Trust is marking its 30th Anniversary this year - and we would not be the organization weve become nor housed the thousands of formally homeless neighbors without the guiding influence of Marc.
My thoughts and prayers are with Marcs amazing family in this time of profound loss and sorrow.
Sincerely -
Patrick Spillane
Jay Kupietsky
June 30, 2019
It is with great sadness that I write you this note.
I was very sorry to hear of Marcs passing.
While it has been many years since we have seen one another, I know what an important part you and Marc have played in my parents' life. Yours has been a friendship that has endured over 50 years and has left an indelible impression on our familys life in Los Angeles.
My parents will forever credit you and Marc for convincing them to move to LA, and for the ensuing professional and personal happiness and satisfaction that they have enjoyed over these many years.
I too will remember the kindness and friendship Marc extended to me when i began my career by working one summer at HRP&K many decades ago.
I recall the enjoyable times we had in Palm Springs together, the family milestones we shared, and getting to know your kids (I remember vividly preparing with Matt for his Bar Mitzvah)
Most important of all, I will remember Marc as a mentsch, an old school lawyer, someone who was sharp and sensitive, capable and compassionate, a wise professional whose personal ethics set the bar high for others to follow.
I know how much you will miss him, but I am certain that his legacy will live on in your children and grandchildren.
May you be spared future loss, and may you be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.
Best
Jay
Aimee Contreras-Camua
June 30, 2019
I know you are being inundated with messages because your dad is so beloved. I wanted to extend my condolences to you, your mom, your brother and your dads grandkids, all of whom he absolutely adored. Your dad found it a funny coincidence that we shared the same name (though different spelling). I was the Aimee Contreras from his Sidley family. I started at Sidley as a summer associate in May 1997 and joined the firm in October 1998, originally with the corporate group with Moshe Kupietzky as my group head. I made the switch a couple of months after starting as an associate bc real estate was really busy. Sarah Spyksma and Marc recruited me to switch groups and it was the best career decision I ever made because I got to work with your dad and have him as my group head.
It is only fitting that your dads obituary was published in the Los Angeles Times on Fathers Day. He was the father figure of our Sidley work family for 18 of the 20 years I was at the firm. He was a man before his time- he had flexible work schedules for working moms before Sidley had a formal policy. He spearheaded the promotion of so many of us to partnership, including 3 of us who were part-time and/or pregnant at the time of promotion, including yours truly. He created an atmosphere at a large firm that was close-knit and allowed so many of us to thrive. Your dad leaves behind a beautiful legacy- for all of us who were blessed to have been part of his life journey (and he a part of ours), we are all better people having known him, worked with him, admired him and loved him. May he Rest In Peace.
I want to thank your family for sharing your dad with us and to let you know that I am praying for you as you grieve your loss, especially on this first Fathers Day so close to his passing.
There are so many of us from Sidley who owe a debt of gratitude to your dad (and are appreciate of your familys sharing of his time). We have been sharing stories about what a positive impact your dad had on each of our lives, both professionally and personally, as we cope with his passing. He treated everyone with respect at the firm- staff and attorneys alike. He was an inspiring leader and wonderful human being. I will miss your dads beaming smile.
Courtney Rangen
June 30, 2019
My deepest sympathies to you, Matthew, Stephanie, and the grandkids.
I started my legal career in 2007 at Sidley and count myself truly blessed to have been able to do so under Marc until he retired from Sidley. I still remember being a little nervous during our first meeting because he was considering me for a contract attorney position at a firm I really wanted to join but had never imagined would give me the time of day having not summered there and certainly lacking the law school grades the firm was used to seeing. I quickly learned he wasnt like most other big law lawyersmost notably and in some ways the memory I hold most dear relates to the compassion and support he demonstrated, when, only a year after I started in the real estate group, my grandmother passed away. I moved in with my grandmother when I came back to LA after law school in 2006 and lived with her for the first year I was back while I looked for work and saved money for an apartment. That year only made the bond we already shared that much stronger, so when she passed suddenly, the heartbreak was unlike anything I had yet to experience. Her funeral was a couple days later and afterwards, two friends I had made at Sidley came up to me to ask if I had seen your dad (I hadnt). That he would take time out of his day to attend my grandmothers funeral, and that he did so without telling me, gave me insight into the kind of person he wasa compassionate and good man without ego. With that one act I suddenly felt a part of a work familya feeling that continued until he left and kept me at Sidley until 6 months ago when I left after almost 12 years and joined Pircher.
A couple months after I started as a contract attorney at Sidley, he offered me a staff attorney position and continued to be my advocate and mentor as I was promoted to associate and then partner at the end of his last year at the firm (I joked it was his final act as group head to push me over the finish line ). For all of that and the numerous little moments in between (including sharing his shmura matzoh from Brooklyn with me during Passover!), I will forever be grateful. He truly changed my life for the better.
I have no doubt youve heard and will continue to hear from so many people who loved your dad.I can only hope it is providing you and your family with some comfort at this difficult time. He talked about his family so much and it was so clear that you, your mom, your brother and his grandkids were the center of his world. He lit up with pride and love every time he spoke of Elena and his other grandchildren. Thank you and them for sharing him with us, his Sidley real estate family, for so many years.
With love,
Courtney
Kathryn de Planque
June 30, 2019
A Tribute to Marc Hayutin
Stories, there were many shared by Marc in the years that I had the privilege to know him in a therapeutic setting, as well as in our personal friendship.
I became immediately aware, of course, of Marcs brilliant mind and incredible memory for detail, as well as his vast knowledge, especially of history, politics and finance. He was a highly successful attorney, who helped many others in his career, both in his capacity to mentor and support others, as well as work intensely to accomplish what many could not for professional clients. His incredible strength and passion for adventure and challenge drove his determination and accomplishments in all aspects of his life. His desire and willingness to help those in need was admirable.
However, Nothing mattered more to Marc than his family and friends. His level of caring and sense of responsibility to his loved ones was his primary concern. He deeply loved, was enormously generous, loyal and kind. In all of his pain and suffering, nothing brought tears but his sadness for leaving those he loved.
So, my own brief story pertains to the deep admiration I felt for Marcs sensitivity and love for children, especially those who were apparently challenged in some way.
When my professional office was located in the back guesthouse on Marc and Stephanies property, I expressed to Marc my concern for the imposing traffic of children and parents coming to and fro, invading the privacy of their home.
Marcs response epitomizes to me his greatness. Marc said, I watch some of the children coming with sad faces or having difficulty in walking when they arrive, and then watching them leaving with smiles of relief and joy, I feel gratified that in providing the space, I am helping these children as well.
Thank you, Marc.
With Love,
Kathryn de Planque
Bruce Ashton
June 30, 2019
A MEMORY OF MARC HAYUTIN
Its little things that show the character of a person.
I met Marc, Stephanie, Matt and Amy in 1978 shortly after I began dating Barbara. Marc and Steph were at our wedding, and we got together periodically after that, both as couples and as families with Barbaras (and now my) kids.
A few years after we were married, Barbara had to go to the hospital. The kids were off with their father, so I was alone. And, of course, thats when I got sick, really sick, with a very high fever.
Im not sure how Marc knew about this, but without my asking, he was there in my house, helping me, getting me into a cool bath and rubbing my back with alcohol to bring the fever down. By the time he left, my fever was much lower and within a few hours, it broke altogether.
You may wonder why I would write about such a small event from 35 years ago, one that could easily be forgotten in the tumult of our lives since then.
Theres a big reason. Its a small memory, but to me its a huge example of who Marc was. He was always there, always present, always ready to help even a new friend he hadnt know all that long to show that he cared. Theres no better word: Marc was a real mensch.
I know we will all miss him more than we can say.
Barbara Ashton
June 30, 2019
One day in the early 80s Marc called. It was quite unusual hearing from him mid-day, mid-week. Was I busy at this moment, he asked? Could I accompany him right NOW to go see a house on 10th Street? But, I must wear a babushka on my head to cover my dark hair and wear loose clothes AND pretend to be his wife, Stephanie. I love a good game. So, off we went with me fully involved in this charade . . . . . . skulking around the house and avoiding eye contact with the realtor. The reason for this subterfuge was that Steph had seen the house earlier with a realtor, but Marc wanted Vicki to represent them. It was truly hilarious and lots of fun.
But mostly, I remember Marc as being very SPECIAL . . . a bright, caring man with rare integrity and morals, and an infectious laugh. I will miss him. The world has lost an exceptional human being. Marc, may you rest in peace.
With love,
Barbara Ashton
Sandy Clair
June 21, 2019
Marc was one of the most amazing people I have ever met in my entire life. Warm, sincere, compassionate and the toughest guy I knew. To say I miss him would be an understatement. Thank you Marc for the honor of having the privilege of being able to call you my friend.
June 18, 2019
I am so saddened to hear of Marc's passing. He was not only a wonderful mentor, but a true, compassionate, thoughtful and wise friend. His sense of humor and his wonderful laugh and smile will remain in my memory forever. He taught me a lot about the law, but even more about how to be a gentleman, a friend and a father and husband. I may not have learned all the lessons Marc taught, but no one was a better teacher.
Mike Kretzmer
June 18, 2019
Psalm 90:10 says that the days of our years are 70 years, And if because of special mightiness they are 80 years.
May the memories of the wonderful times you shared together bring a smile and joy in your heart.
Barbara Kurtzman
June 17, 2019
My love and sympathy to. Stephanie
So many wonderful memories of you and Marc. You are in my heart. Barbara Kurtzman (Young)
Barbara Kurtzman
June 17, 2019
B
Marlene Seidenstock
June 17, 2019
My heart and prayers go out to Marc's entire family. I had the pleasure of working for Marc when HRP&K was formed and later at Sidley. Marc was a very special person with a very big heart. He will be missed by anyone who knew him. Celebrate a life well lived. Rest in peace.
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How to support Marc's loved ones
Honor a beloved veteran with a special tribute of ‘Taps’ at the National WWI Memorial in Washington, D.C.
The nightly ceremony in Washington, D.C. will be dedicated in honor of your loved one on the day of your choosing.
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Should I Send Sympathy Flowers?
What kind of arrangement is appropriate, where should you send it, and when should you send an alternative?
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What Should I Write in a Sympathy Card?
We'll help you find the right words to comfort your family member or loved one during this difficult time.
Read moreResources to help you cope with loss
Estate Settlement Guide
If you’re in charge of handling the affairs for a recently deceased loved one, this guide offers a helpful checklist.
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Obituaries, grief & privacy: Legacy’s news editor on NPR podcast
Legacy's Linnea Crowther discusses how families talk about causes of death in the obituaries they write.
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The Five Stages of Grief
They're not a map to follow, but simply a description of what people commonly feel.
Read moreWays to honor Marc Hayutin's life and legacy
Obituary Examples
You may find these well-written obituary examples helpful as you write about your own family.
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Obituary Templates – Customizable Examples and Samples
These free blank templates make writing an obituary faster and easier.
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How Do I Write a Eulogy?
Some basic help and starters when you have to write a tribute to someone you love.
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