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Brenda Whitley Obituary
She was born in Norway on March 13, 1971, a daughter of James and Gertrude (Guay) Benedix.
Brenda graduated from Gardiner Regional High School in 1989 and University of Maine in 1993 with a degree in clinical psychology. She was dedicated to helping others and worked as a social worker her entire career, most recently as a family caregiver specialist at Spectrum Generations in Augusta.
She met her husband Paul in 1991 through a friend and they married Nov. 27, 1993. They settled back in the Gardiner area and had three sons, Bryant, Jake and Connor. Her boys were everything to her and she to them. Watching the boys play hockey with Paul, sunny days at Tacoma Lake with family, and playing with her dogs were a few of her favorite things. She was and is greatly loved by all who had the privilege to know her, especially her loving husband, her boys, her father and her five brothers and sisters. She will be truly missed by family and friends.
She was predeceased by her mother, Gertrude "Trudy" Guay Benedix.
She is survived by her husband of 16 years, Paul A. Whitley Jr. of Gardiner and their children, Bryant, 15, Jake, 12, and Connor, 6; her siblings, Catherine McDevitt and her husband, Randy Sr., of West Gardiner, David Benedix and his wife, Shannon, of Kennebunk, Debra Grover and her husband, Steven, of Monmouth, James Benedix Jr. and his wife, Beth, of Greencastle, Ind., Kevin Benedix and his wife, Colleen, of Andover, Mass.; several nieces and nephews and great-nieces and nephews as well as many aunts, uncles and cousins.
Visiting hours will be from 4 to 7 p.m. Sunday, Feb. 14, at Staples Funeral Home, 53 Brunswick Ave., Gardiner. A Mass of Christian burial will be celebrated at 11 a.m. Monday, Feb. 15, at St. Joseph Catholic Church, Gardiner.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in her memory to the Whitley Boy's Trust at Gardiner Savings Bank of Maine c/o David Benedix, 4 Spiller Drive, Kennebunk, ME 04043 or the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for Brenda Whitley
Vickie Bussey
March 3, 2010
The loss of a spouse/parent is very familiar to my son and me. Paul, this is the Vickie who used to come to the shed in West Gardiner to fix the computer. I think you will remember me. My late husband, Donnie, also worked for MaineDOT and the Lord saw fit to bring him back home a year ago. I will keep you and your children in my thoughts and prayers. When I learned of your wife's passing just today, I realized upon reading the obituary that I graduated with her brother David and sister Deb -- what a small world! You will no doubt be going through some difficult times but I am confident your sons will give you strength you never knew you had just as Alex does for me. Again, please take care and know I was thinking of you.
Stephanie Simmons
February 27, 2010
I am so sorry to hear of your families loss. I met Brenda at DHS and we worked together. I can still remember her big laugh and her funny stories. She was so proud of her boys, she was a wonderful person and mother.
Pat Pendleton
February 26, 2010
I read of Brenda's death on line quite by accident one night and it's been on my mind constantly since then. My heart is heavy with sorrow for Brenda's husband and children. I worked with her some time ago at Human Services in Rockland. I did not know that she was sick so this was a complete shock. I shall remember her pretty eyes and hair and nice smile. She spoke all the time of her family. My sincerest condolences to her entire family.
Janet Hatch
February 19, 2010
So sorry for your loss of Brenda..
She was a beautiful person, such a
dear girl....
Rob Keithley
February 16, 2010
Paul, Byrant, Jake & Connor,
Our family was deeply sadden to hear the passing of Brenda. She was a wonderful person and had such a huge heart. We know that you and the boys were her world as she was yours. Remember to always keep the memories close in your heart. We are here if you ever need anything at all.
Rob, Michelle, Breann & Zachary
Jen & Heather Lagasse / Winslow
February 16, 2010
Dear Paul,
I'll remember our good times. I am so sorry to hear of Brenda's passing. We had a lot of laughs! Heather kept me informed of how things were going and my prayers never ceased. Heather was very disappointed to find out she missed the funeral service. We both planned on attending. Please know, you and your children are in our prayers and thoughts.
Love, Jen Lagasse and Heather Winslow
Nancy and Darrell Sawyer (Morrissey)
February 15, 2010
Jim and family, we were saddened to read of your sister's passing. Hold onto your memories. Our thoughts and prayers are with you always.
Carol, Val, Hunter & Brooklynn Belanger
February 15, 2010
Paul, Bryant, Jake, Connor and Family,
Our hearts go out to all of you at this very difficult time in your lives.
Brenda was a wonderful person. She always had a twinkle in her eyes and a big beautiful smile, especially when she talked of her husband and her boys.
We will always cherish the memory of January 30, 2010,(the last time we saw Brenda). She was at the last home game for GHS, sitting with Paul, Jake, Connor and siblings. When Bryant scored not once but twice. She rose to her feet, huge smile and gleaming eyes and began pounding on the glass with such excitement, joy and happiness. Val and I were so taken by those two moments that we couldn't help but shedd some tears of our own.
We will miss her as so many will, but feel so honored to have known her. What a wonderful, wonderful person!
Our prayers go out to all of you.
Elizabeth Hartford
February 15, 2010
Brenda's smile and positive energy will be missed in this world. I worked with her at Spurwink and know she was a positive force in many lives there. My sincere condolences to your family.
Gail Larrabee Boucher
February 15, 2010
Paul,
I know we havent seen each other since we graduated from Cony. I am soo sorry to hear about your wife. you and your boys are in my thoughts and prayers.
Gail Larrabee Boucher
Claudia Bailey
February 15, 2010
My condolences to Brenda's family. I worked with Brenda at Spurwink, and knowng her changed my life. She was my example of positive attitude, grace under pressure, and engaging life with patience and FUN. We've lost a good one; I'll never forget her.
Dotty Hinckley
February 15, 2010
To all of Brenda’s family,
She will be truly missed by all of her hockey friends. You could tell that family came first with her. Not only her family, but other families as well. She was a quiet force for our children. If love from her family and friends could have saved her, she would have lived forever. We are all sorry for your loss. Dotty, Pat, and Alex Hinckley
February 14, 2010
Paul, Bryant, Jake, and Connor,
Words cannot express how you are feeling at this most difficult time in your life. May the happiest and most fond memories of your wife and mother fill your lives with so much joy to get you through every day.
We are thinking of you and are here if there is anything you need.
Buddy, Tracy, Owen and Leah Pushard
Nick Hester
February 14, 2010
Dear Paul, Lisa and I are so sorry to read that Brenda has passed and our prayers are with you and the boys. It seemed for awhile that things were looking better. May God be with you.
Cindy Woodside
February 14, 2010
My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.
I worked with Brenda at Spurwink.I enjoyed many conversations about our children and our dogs. She always had a smile on her face and was willing to help when needed. She will be greatly missed by all.
Marc Cloutier
February 14, 2010
Dear Paul and family,
Sorry for your loss, you are in our prayers.
Marc Cloutier class of '89'
Wendy & Dennis Gagne
February 14, 2010
Paul - we are so deeply sadden by your loss. You are a wonderful person and have always been their for others. Let others help you now. You and the boys are in our thoughts and prayers now and always.
Carolyn McAuslin
February 14, 2010
Dear Paul, Bryant & Connor,
So sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers. Take care of each other.
Carolyn McAuslin (Scott's mom and Jeff's grandmother)
Darlene Perkins
February 14, 2010
Dear Paul, Bryant,Jake & Connor
So sorry to hear about Brenda passing
You are in my thoughts.
Clifford Brann
February 14, 2010
Dear Paul and family...we are truly sorry for your loss. May you surround yourselves with family and friends to help ease your loss. Cliff and Lori Brann, Jefferson
Chris & Gina Sullivan
February 14, 2010
Dear Paul,Bryant,Jake&Connor.
We met Brenda & Paul 6.5 years ago when we moved here, Your family quickly made us feel welcome.
Brenda was such a Kind,Beautiful Woman
always Had such a Big Smile you could just see it in her eyes how much she loved her family. Our Hearts are filled with such sorrow at her passing.
What A Courageous Woman
We will miss you Brenda.
Paul and Boys you are in our thoughts and prayers.
The Sullivan Family
Chris & Gina Sullivan
February 14, 2010
Dear Paul,Bryant,Jake,Connor
We met brenda and family 6.5 years ago when we moved here.
Paul, I remember You and Brenda quickly made us feel welcome. Brenda was Always so Kind, what a Beautiful Woman, Always laughing and smiling So Full of Life. She will Truly Be Missed.
Our Hearts are Filled with Great Sorrow With the Passing of Brenda.
Our family will always be here for you and the boys.
The Sullivan Family
Ric & Lisa Ladd
February 13, 2010
You are all in our thoughts and prayers.
February 13, 2010
Brenda was a delightful and enthusiastic colleague. I looked forward to connecting with her, and will miss her. I'm holding you in my heart. Ann O'Sullivan, SMAA.
The Donnells
February 13, 2010
Sunshine, Our hearts were sad to hear of your mom's passing. Remember the good times and cherish the memories. Love, The Donnells
(Eddie Sr., Eddie Jr and Cindy)
Lisa Guay - Justard and family
February 13, 2010
If anyone was put on this earth to be a mom, it was Brenda. She would glow when talking about her boys and their lives. I have so many fond memories of her growing up, our holidays spent together, bumping into each other at our sons hockey games, each time saying "we really should go to lunch and catch up" We always think we have tomorrow...and then life happens and it changes all of our plans. Her legacy lives on in her 3 wonderful sons and our memories of her. I know that Aunt Trudy welcomed her into heaven with open arms and incredible love. My deepest sympathy to her husband, sons and family. Our family has lost a jewel!
Gail
February 13, 2010
Brenda and i worked at Spurwink together. The memory i carry is her endless sense of humor, kindness and her aggravating patience!
She has left us all a great gift by having known her
Kim MacDonald
February 13, 2010
Our thougts and prayers go out to Paul and boys. Brenda was a wonderful person and a great mom. Your family reached out a hand to my family in the most gracious way when we were in need. We are all here for you ,if you need ANYTHING we are here.
Kathy Plourde
February 13, 2010
Paul, Bryant, Jake and Connor;
We want to express our sincerely sympathy. We are saddened by your loss and want you to know our thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. If there is anything we can do...please don't hestitate to call.
David, Kathy, Tony and Steph
Tim, Jen, Nick & Ben Fortin
February 13, 2010
Paul, Bryant, Jake & Connor... our thoughts and prayers are with you during this very difficult time. Try to keep all your wonderful memories close to your heart for always. Brenda was an amazing woman and we all feel very priviledged to have known her. Take care of each other and know that if you need anything, we are a phone call away.
Phillip Taylor
February 13, 2010
May GOD, give you strength and healing. My Family and I are sorry to hear of Brenda passing. One day, we will all see her face again.
Brian Nelson
February 13, 2010
Paul, I'll be in prayer for you and your sons, that the Lord will help you through your grief. I never met Brenda but knew you when you came home from the Marines when I was staying with your Dad.
Cindie Hennessey
February 13, 2010
Was deeply saddened to read about your loving wife, Paul. My heart goes out to you and the family. May God get you through this..
With much love and sympathy,
Cindie Hennessey(Dick, too)
Jefferson
Julie (Boynton) Williams
February 13, 2010
My prayers and thoughts are with Brenda's family at this difficult time. I just a to take this opportunity to thank Brenda for the rides to and from field hockey when we were in high school...just another example of her generosity.
David Benedix
February 13, 2010
Brenda was totally in love with Paul and her boy's - her life fully dedicated to them. She faught her disease with all her energy until she had nothing left. But to all who knew and loved her - you know that the thing she wants from each of us more than anything is to keep and care for her boys. Please, as each of you read this, make a final wish come true - be there for Paul, Bryant, Jake and Connor. Brenda can rest peacefully knowing we all will love and watch over her Boys, today and forever - in her loving memory - I will miss you forever Poo. Love Big Brother Dave
February 13, 2010
Words, however kind,
can't mend your heartache:
but those who care and
share your loss wish you
comfort and peace of mind.
May you find strength
in the love of family
and in the warm embrace
of friends.
I am so sorry for you loss, please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.
With Deepest Sympathy,
Robin Mathews
Chris Abate
February 13, 2010
My condolences to your family.. I had worked with Brenda for several years at the Spurwink Chelsea program. She was a wonderful woman and amazing mom. Many smiles and laughs were brought to all of us with her charm, fun lightheartedness, and just overall incredible personality. I especially loved hearing stories of the boys, the dogs, and the family adventures and how her face would light up with every detail. - Chris
February 13, 2010
Paul & boys we were very sorry to hear of her passing. You all are in our thoughts and prayers today and the long road ahead. Stay strong. Mark, Lori, Mallory & Blake
Gayle Warren
February 13, 2010
The light went out on the corner when Brenda left us. How unbelievable the news of her passing was for truly she was one of the best.
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