Christopher "Buff" Tubbs Sr.

Happy 40th B-Day my love. I would have thrown you a special b-day today. Instead, I brought you balloons and left you your candles. So many of us miss you today and every day.

I wish we could grow old together like we planned. It hurts that we can't. I want to. I really want to.

Hope ur looking down on me and know that I still love you.

It's not very Merry without you here with me... I am surrounded by my loved ones, but your absence is very largely felt... I hope Christmas in heaven is better than Disneyland!!! Come to me in my dreams tonight. Hold me... Dance with me... Let me smell you in my dreams...

Merry Christmas Chris!!

Babe, u always wrapped our presents... So, tonight is the last night the kids and I will all be together... So, we had "Unwrapped Christmas in bed night" as Alicia & Ray S. grabbed target bags out my closet, placed them all around me on our bed. I went through bags and tossed the kids their gifts. We smiled and laughed enjoying our Christmas "present" while remembering our Christmas past... Bitter/sweet... But, we cherish the "sweet"... One day we will thrive again and all the tradition you...

My Loving Husband,
Life without you has me comparing everything to you. I finally watched a football game and enjoyed myself until I realized I was enjoying myself without you... It comes and goes... The guilt of being alive without you. I tell myself and others that I will be strong. That I CAN do this without you. I'm trying to make new plans than the ones we had together. I'm trying to THANK GOD for all the blessings around me... It's just so difficult without you.

I have a...

My loving husband,
This morning was another difficult rise without you. Sometimes I think I can't get out of bed because of the huge pain in my stomache and in my chest. The tears flow so frequently that it leaves me breathless.
Buff, there has been so much change in my life since you went away. Losing you is by far the hardest change, but I also lost my favorite Facilities job. My money is so much less since you can't work overtime anymore. The bills are so much higher now that you...

Your grand-daughter was born on May 15th. Her name is Audriana Raylene Florez. She is so tiny and pink... You would have immediately fallen in love with her. The first thing I asked her was if she met you in heaven before she came down to earth. For some reason I feel she said "yes".

I really wanted you there with me as I still want you now. I felt so alone as I was leaving the hospital. It was very hard to even walk through the doors of Kaiser... All I could remember was how we...

I spent Easter without you babe. It hurt so much. People were doing there very best to keep me busy and entertained. I did keep busy and spent a good weekend with Rosemary, Rich's mom, and his family. Then, I also spent time with Joe and his family.

Buff, I remember when we would be so busy around any holiday trying to make it special for our children. Then, when we were all done and everyone was happy we would happily go into our bedroom and relax. I remember how you would let...