Search by Name

Add a Memory

Send Flowers

Make a Donation

Share Obituary

Jerome R. Halperin

Jerome Halperin Obituary

1933 - 2007
Jerry was larger than life. He was brilliant and very successful (my grandmother and great aunt always referred to him that way). He was an eagle scout. He worked hard. He went to the ivy league college. He went to the ivy league law school. He made lots of money. He supported lots of people. He had a huge heart. He was generous. Money to him was manure, it was meant to be spread around. He was a role model. I wanted to be like him.
When we were growing up, he worked 6 days a week. On the seventh day we went food shopping. He loved to work. It was his passion. It was his hobby. In many ways it was his life. For him, practicing law was being Joe DiMaggio in center field, catching fly balls and making it look easy. And he did. He was brilliant. He was admired. He was a great lawyer. He was passionate about his work. He was proud of what he did and how he did it. His clients loved him. He gave them support, confidence, strength, wisdom and guidance. One of the biggest compliments a lawyer can have is to be a lawyer's lawyer – to be the one that a lawyer goes to when they need a lawyer. He was outgoing, gregarious, the life of the party. And boy did he tell those jokes, with the voices and the jestures, over and over through the years. His words, his jokes, his sayings that we now call, jerryisms, they are imprinted in our memories forever.
He was strong. His mother was strong. His grandmother was strong. And his kids are strong. He passed along to us his gift of strength and confidence. He, along with our mother, sent us into the world with the tools and values to succeed and be comfortable with who we are. He made us independent thinkers. He made us question and challenge authority. In 1969 and 1970, I was 13. I was Bar Mitzvahed. The Mets won the world series. The Jets won the Superbowl and the Knicks won the Championship. It was one hell of a year to be a kid in NY. But you know what sticks in my mind, besides those catches in right and center field by Ron Swoboda, it was that Spence, Guy and I were at the World Series, games 3 and 5. We were on the field tearing up the grass, taking home dirt from the baseline when the Mets won their first world series. But my dad, who loved the Mets wasn't there. He could get only 3 seats and sent his three sons to both games. The Jerry Halperin I grew up with is the wonderful person who I have always carried in my heart and mind and will continue to have with me until the day I die. - Preston
(PHOTO: BLAKE, JUDY AND DAD)

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by New York Times from Apr. 10 to Apr. 11, 2007.

Memories and Condolences
for Jerome Halperin

Sponsored by His Loving Wife, Judy, and Son, Blake.

30 Entries

Steven and Rona Zwerling

April 18, 2007

For many years we were close friends of Jerry and Judy and then for some unknown or unremembered reason,we drifted apart. This sad news of Jerry's passing, twenty years since we last saw him, has triggered a slew of wonderful, happy memories of times (mostly dinner times) the four of us shared.

What Jerry's family and friends have written here and the photos bring him back into our lives, reminding us how remarkable, generous, loving, funny, brilliant, and yes larger-than-life he was. And how fortunate we were to have known him.

Our heartfelt condolences and love to Judy, Blake, and Jerry's first magnificent litter.

Steven and Rona Zwerling

Gerald Wagner

April 16, 2007

Eulogy of Jerome R. Halperin by Gerald Wagner

Now it’s my turn. Between marketing contracts with the City of New York, I came to work for Jerry Halperin for one day as a word processing temp and stayed 17 years in a variety of subsidiary roles, document production, editing, maintaining the computers, managing the office, going to court as a paralegal, serving papers, and acting as personal assistant and sounding board. I became a card carrying Halperin.

And here’s my view from the soft underbelly of the beast. I was able to stay with Jerome Halperin for 17 years because of one overriding trait: He was authentic. One meets a half a dozen people in a lifetime who truly are who they are. Jerry Halperin truly was who he was!

He was authentic in his profession, he was authentic in his craft, he was authentic in his relationships, he was authentic with his money, he was authentic in his viewpoints and he was authentic in his generous spirit.

I have never met a person more powerfully and lovingly dedicated to his profession than Jerry Halperin. His dream was to practice law, went to school to practice law, he loved to “make law” and despite numerous opportunities to make more money by getting sidelined, he tenaciously stuck to the pure practice of law. A major bank sought Jerry to head up its entire legal staff. Jerry’s response: I went to school to be a lawyer, not an administrator. After a adversarial encounter in court with the head of one of NYC’s top 5 families, the senior partner of that family’s white shoe law firm approached Jerry and announced, “The Client wishes to speak with you.” The eldest son of the Client had been admitted to the exclusive private psychiatric center at Presbyterian Hospital. He was in his late 20’s out of control, a druggie, listless, no interest in life, depressed and surly. The Client said to Jerry, I like what I see in you. I want you to go and talk to my son. Puzzled, but curious, Jerry assented. He was escorted into the plush hospital setting, took one look at this young man and talked to him like a Dutch uncle. Up front and ugly, Jerome expressed his dismay and disgust to this young man’s deliberate screwing up his life … got him to look at what he was doing to his life … , and left. The next day the Client called Jerome to his home and said, Halperin, I don’t know what you said to the boy, but he listened to you and seems to be ready to get his life together. I want to retain you as a mentor to my son. Name your price. Jerome replied, I’m sorry, sir, but I went to school to become a lawyer, not a nurse maid.

Jerome warded off numerous offers of partnerships with attorneys who coveted his skills, because, as he said, I want to practice law the way I want to practice law. If you have a partner, you have to be nice to their clients.

Jerome was authentic in his relationship to money. In a conversation years ago with Guy about whether there would be enough money for Jerry to maintain his generous largess to all of the grandchildren, I made some comment about, well, whatever, there will be plenty of love to go around. Guy said, “You don’t understand. For Dad, money IS love.” And I got it. Money for Jerry was the authentic organic connection between the fruits of his labor and his loving sharing of those fruits with others. Nothing made him happier than to reach into his pocket and share himself through his money. And not only to his family. The first day I spent as a temp at the firm, Jerome took me and his partner Alice Slater to his “McDonald’s” the Quilted Giraffe for dinner. $250 later we went back to a night’s work at the office.

In 1968 Jerome walked into the first meeting of the Long Island organizing committee for Presidential candidate Eugene McCarthy with his checkbook open and personally funded the country’s first anti-war political effort. He held what he called the “manure theory of money” If you pile it up, it smells. If you spread it around, it makes things grow. And Jerry did spread it around and did make things grow. A very early version of Jerome’s Last Will and Testament was a terse one-liner: “Being of sound and disposing mind, I disposed of it all.”

Jerry was authentic in his craft. He worked long and hard on his legal briefs as a labor of love. In two decades of reading and editing legal briefs, including the last two years at the 3rd largest law firm in the world, I have never seen anyone with the unique ability of Jerome to sharply communicate the major point of his case on every page and, often, in every paragraph. He said, you have to talk baby talk to judges.

One night, as Jerry was leaving the office, he said to me, “What are you doing here?” I answered with a story a friend had told me that day. “A young black man wearing a sharp new suit, new shoes and a jaunty hat walked down the streets of New Orleans. His friend saw him and said. ‘Hey man, where did you get those new threads?’ The man answered ‘Oh, easy come, easy go. I got it choppin’ cotton’. That’s what I am doing here, Jerry. Just choppin’ cotton.” The next morning, Jerry came into the office and said, “Wagner, you kept me up half the night thinking about your story. I realized that that’s all any of us are doing here…choppin’ cotton.”

And that’s my picture of Jerome. Night after night, long weekends,
happily choppin’ cotton. Strategizing, crafting briefs, making law and
spreading the fruits of his labor to those he loved.

Marshall R Kopelman

April 16, 2007

This is how Jerry touched my life:

Your strength has given me strength.
Your guidance has given me hope.
Your help has made me a better person.
You always made me laugh.
You reduced uncomfortable situations into bearable nuisances.
You were my greatest communicator.
Your smile was angelic.
Your knowledge of life and people was exceptional.
You always had the right answer to whatever situation arose.
You made difficult situations seem easy.
You always solved problems of others.
You were a success in everything you did.
You were like a second father to me.
I will always cherish our special relationship.
You will live in my heart forever.

With love to your wonderful family,
Marshall

Phyllis Hartman

April 13, 2007

Hi to all of you,
Although I have not seen you as adults, I am so proud of all of you. You have become successful and certainly follow in the steps of your father. The letters and the pictures are most memorable and will be cherished by all who loved him. I was so saddened and shocked to hear the news of Dad. I have not been in contact with him for several years and therefore had no idea of how ill he had been until Judy told me on Saturday. (I was in Scottsdale, AZ., with my children and grandchildren for Passover.)Jerry brings back so many wonderful memories of when we were children. I spent many weekends at their house in Richmond, and "hung out" with both Warren and Dad a lot. They used to take me in the back of the bus with all of their friends. I guess I was a tomboy, and loved being with them like older brothers. They were both so kind and patient and great to look up to.
I felt as though Aunt Bert and Uncle Al were like another set of parents, even when they lived in Florida, as I do now. I used to visit often.Eve and Herman, my parents, loved being with all of you.
I guess one of the favorite times of year was at the Passover table. We sat very, very long wanting to eat, but always had a great time anyways. Jerry reminded me so of my grandfather. In both looks and strength. I wonder if you still have your children guess the amount of coins in a jar like Grandpa used to do for us? I also remember when Dad started Columbia. Ask your Mom about the times that she and I used spend on the campus. At that time it was for men only. And there we were! Yes, we had had many fun times. I cannot relay my condolences to the depth it deserves. You all are so lucky to have had him as your Dad. And needless to say that he has been a very super husband since all of you were born. I can just imagine him with all of the grandchildren. (Probably the best!)
My love to the whole family,
Cousin Phyllis

Jerry, Judy and Blake

April 12, 2007

Jerry and Blake a few years ago

April 12, 2007

Late 70's early 80's

April 11, 2007

Jerry, Preston, Martine and Kyle

April 11, 2007

Jerry, Alana and Martine in late 70's

April 11, 2007

Bert and Al's 50th Anniversary

April 11, 2007

In Florida in the late 70's

April 11, 2007

Spence Halperin

April 11, 2007

Jackie was a wonderful friend and aide to Dad. She made his last difficult year much easier. Thank-you, Jackie, from all his children.

And they keep on comin' - The Grandkids

April 11, 2007

Jerry's Second Litter

April 11, 2007

Jerry's First Litter

April 11, 2007

Jerry, Spence, Blake and Guy

April 11, 2007

Jerry and Judy

April 11, 2007

Jackie McFarlane

April 11, 2007

I began working with Mr. Halperin in early January 2006 for just a couple of hours per week - I never knew how hospitable he could be - we would go to lunch before coming to the office and i would love it - i would try to go to the cheaper places but Mr. Halperin insisted that we go to the "best" places to eat - He said to me, "Jackie, don't eat crappy food, ALWAYS eat good food" so thereafter, i would always eat whatever it was he was eating. In March of last year he was admitted to the hospital for surgery and then i was asked to work with him full-time - i accepted that offer immediately. We bonded immediately in a relationship that grew so close - there were times when the nurses could not tolerate his toughness - but when i came around all of that toughness turned into jello -- i have many fond memories of Mr. Halperin - but I could always say that Mr. Halperin was ALWAYS there for me - on his sick bed, at home, in the nursing home, wherever, Mr. Halperin always made sure that I was there for him, and he was there for me. I will miss him dearly.

Alana Cohen

April 11, 2007

Alana's para phrased extemporaneous eulogy

To represent the feminine side of Jerry's children:
To quote Jerry,"Absolutely, unequivically wihtout fear of contradiction" Jerome Roger Halperin our dad was a strong and loving person. A dynamic and colorful personality. I am sure that anyone who knows him could share stories of how he impacted their lives. There are many levels that Dad touched. He was a passionate and brilliant individual who we coined early in our family as"predictably unpredictable". Just when you thought you could anticipate his reaction he would surprise you. One trait that we all share from our Dad is we are always right except when we are wrong.His strength of conviction is something we all inherited.
These past months of Dad's life have been difficult. All his kids rallied and visited. He spoke of the awe and pride of the great job we are doing as parents.
Dad was a powerful figure who spoke his mind. A man where actions spoke louder than words. What more can a child ask for from a parent whose committment and involvement was unfailing?- No matter when you called him at his office he would always interrupt his meetings with clients to take your call.
I moved in with Dad at 15 to pursue dance and had to adjust from a full household to being an only child with a working parent. We worked at our relationship and successfully became friends and confidants. Our home was always filled with roommates, open to my cousins and friends going to school.Even strangers floated in and out needing a place to live. Dad wanted you to find something in your work that you loved as much as he loved being an attorney..
He wanted his daughters to be financially self sufficient and hence I became a Social Worker. But I found my talent in garden design and am blessed to enjoy it and earn income.
Dad shared his love of art, music, dance and theatre, showering us with these events on a regular basis. New York he'd say is the greatest city in the world to live in and he soaked up the pulse with a true joie de vivre.
Whether it was sushi or chicken tandoori his greatest pleasure was to gather as many of his kids as possible to break bread, cracking jokes, voicing strong opinions or philosophy about life.
Dad lived life to the fullest. Working and playing as long as life permitted. He never missed a step and whistled with a skip and song that still resonates in my life.

Philip Winters

April 11, 2007

Dear Cheryl,

Thanks for e-mailing the shiva information and other particulars. I knew Jerry Halperin for over twenty years, starting in the early '80s. We were adversaries. But, through several hard-fought litigations, I could never escape the sense that he was my friend, too. Coming to the office to serve or get papers was an occasion for extended discussions, on life, on men, women, lawyers, judges, the city, the world, whatever. While Jerry was always figuring out ways to quash my legal position (and he was most successful at that), he did so in a courteous, respectful, and, if I may say, playful manner. I would run into him down by the courthouses. "Let's have lunch," he would say, and it would be off to a delightful hour of talk (not about our case) and food. I'd sometimes have to pinch myself and ask: is this my adversary?

To my mind, Jerry Halperin was one of the best lawyers I've ever encountered, and I regard most of the legal profession with palpable suspicion. I truly admired his approach, the way he tackled a case, especially a difficult case, and his work-product, his papers. They were extremely well written and elegant, without one wasted word. I remember once serving him with a 40-page complaint, to which he responded with an answer that ran to one and a half pages, because that was all that was needed to be said. "Here's your answer," he said, with that smile of his. Jerry Halperin was a great person, who also happened to be a great lawyer. I will treasure his memory.

Phil Winters

Dad and Spence

April 11, 2007

Dad and Riley

April 11, 2007

Blake, Dad and Judy

April 11, 2007

Cheryl Spearman-Mersier

April 10, 2007

To all of Mr. Halperin's Children. No bond is as great as that between a parent and child. My deepest condolences are with you during your time of bereavement. I feel as though I was one of Mr. Halperin's adopted children as well as my sons Jarod and Brandon -I will never forget the first time I spoke with Mr. Halperin - I answered an ad in the New York Law Journal he placed looking for a legal secretary. He and I spoke, I faxed him my resume, he called me back that same morning and asked how soon could I come in for an interview. He asked me for some professional references of which I gave him three and before I knew it his office was calling me to come in and see him that next morning. On the phone Mr. Halperin had no idea if I was black or white ('cause surely you couldn't tell from my last name, Spearman-Mersier) - and when we met it mattered none - he was a gentleman with lots of jokes and made me feel very comfortable - right away I knew there was a bond - we worked many years together and one day he asked me "why do you call me Mr. Halperin and never Jerome?" -- I responded to him and said that I respect you so much and when I begin to call you Jerome, I will have less respect for you. To this day, my children and I can collectively count on one hand the times we called him Jerome. And just to add to this list of all-time employer/employee memories - I will never, ever forget, almost 12 years ago this past March, I had to have breast surgery. I was out of the office for 4 weeks - it was supposed to be 6 weeks but Mr. Halperin was begging for me to hurry up, recuperate and get my butt back in the office (butt was not the word he used, but is the word I will use :) any hoo, the weather had begun to change nicely that April and he had called me over the weekend to see how my last doctor visit had gone. I explained to him that my stitches were healing and that the doctor said in a week or two I could possibly return to work - Mr. Halperin asked me how i felt and I told him I felt good and that i was tired of being housebound and that i remembered how much i hated daytime television - so he suggested I come into the office - I told him that I would have to take a taxi because I would hate to get bumped on my breast as it was still in the healing process. Of course he made some jokes about that and we laughed and I said okay, I'll come in on Monday and he said I'll pay for the taxi to and fro. Well I got to the office early that Monday morning in order to beat the crowd and to see Mr. Halperin before the rest of the office staff arrived. He greeted me with lots of smiles, hugs and kisses as soon as I entered the office. But all of this would be short-lived as I was bleeding profusely -- Some of the stitches from my surgery had come loose! Mr. Halperin and I both looked at each other and my breast and he said,
"I think we better get that boob to the hospital" I was laughing, crying and scared all at the same time, mostly at the sight of the blood seeping through on my new yellow blouse... I immediately called my doctor and told him what had happened (of which I really didnt know what had happened at the time), so he told me to immediately come to his office - i told him that i was in new york at the office and then he yelled and asked me WHY?? I told him i would explain once i got back to new jersey --- by this time, Mr. Halperin had run to the men's room and gotten me all of these paper towels (i mean a lot of paper towels) and then i proceeded to open my blouse and let him place the paper towels under my breast to help with the bleeding. He was very gentle and then said to me "I guess the doctor was right, you shouldn't come back to work until you are healed!" He and I laughed again as we were both holding on to my bleeding breast!! :) -- we then proceeded to the elevator and down to the lobby - once reaching the lobby Mr. Halperin rushed out onto Madison Avenue and hailed me a taxi and told the driver - "Straight to the Port Authority, this woman is bleeding" - i was so embarrassed and just jumped in the taxi; and as we pulled away i heard him say, please call me later -- later that evening my husband called Mr. Halperin and told him what had happened and thanked him for his help. My now ex-husband still makes jokes about Mr. Halperin seeing my breast. As Mr. Halperin used to say to me, "any sexual harrassment by me in this office Cheryl, is an office perk!" :) In closing, me and my family loved you Mr. Halperin, but God loved you best.
Sincerely, Cheryl Spearman, Jarod and Brandon Mersier.

Blake Halperin

April 10, 2007

These past three years have been the hardest of my life. When I found out that my father’s kidneys were failing at first I couldn’t believe it. He had been so strong for so long. When I was 10 he had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. There was only a 2% survival rate. We thought he was going to die then but he couldn’t. He had a young child and a young wife and we needed him. I would have been a very different man today if it weren’t for these past 9 years and for that I will forever be grateful.
During those 9 years I got a chance to really get to know my father and boy was he brilliant. He was just so smart and so loved. My mother always said he was larger than life and he was. He always had something brilliant or something funny or something profound to say when called upon. He was my guru and my mentor. A lot of my friends call me for advice, for those of you who may have wondered...I always knew what to say because I had him. Whenever I was in trouble or just didn’t know what to do, he had the answers. I’ll miss that.
Whenever I had a paper to write he always wanted to read it. He was such an academic. He had graduated from Columbia College with a full scholarship. He always said that college lifted a veil from over his eyes and introduced him to the world. He loved to travel. He saw the world and he took me and my mom with him. He opened our eyes to so many things...classical music, dance, the theater. His favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon was to go to the Met or some other gallery. He wanted to visit all of the museums in New York and he wanted to take us with him. He loved learning and so he always wanted to share what he loved.
My father had two great passions in his life, his family and the law. He always said that Law was his mistress, his hobby, his golf and his tennis. He worked 6-7 days a week and took one vacation a year. He continued his law practice almost to the end. It was really the summer of 2005 that his body broke down and his heart gave in to the physical and mental excruciations of dialysis.
When everybody gave up on him my mother fought for him. If the family couldn’t come up with a kidney she was going to find one on her own, and she did. She tried so hard to save his life. In December the transplant came but it was too late. His circulation was too weak and he was wrought with terrible sores which in the end overcame him. She loved him so much and took care of him for all these years. His last words to her were “thank you for taking care of me”. My father was my hero. My mother was his.
When I was born my mother was the 8th child and my father took care of us. After the pancreatic cancer they were partners. In the end, she took care of him. Thank you.
And now I’d like to thank my father. Pops you really made your time count. I can’t begin to list everything you did for me. So much of me comes from you. So many of my jokes and sayings are yours. You left me young, but you waited to make sure I’d be whole. You were my best friend. I love you. Thank you for waiting. Rest in peace.

Spence and Dad

April 10, 2007

Guy Halperin

April 10, 2007

Eulogy for Dad By Guy S. Halperin

Before I talk about Dad and what a truly amazing person he was, on
behalf of me and my entire family I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for coming today to pay your final respects to him and for all of the love and support you have shown us at this difficult hour in our lives and over the recent past as Dad’s health declined. As I glance across the room and look at your faces, I see so much of my father’s history and spirit staring right back at me. So many of you were affected by my father as he was by you. Looking at everyone here today reminds me in a very comforting way that although he is physically gone, he will always be with us. Let’s take a moment to think about Jerry Halperin, the man who now
lies before us who we are here to honor and remember. I don’t mean to put anyone on the spot, but think. What words come to your mind when you think of Jerry Halperin? Anybody? Well, here are some of mine: Dynamic, commanding, confident, charming, funny, great sense of humor, excellent
joke and storyteller, scintillating, no shrinking violet, gregarious, brilliant, straight to-the-point, pragmatic, a fighter, a defender, an advocate, a protector, hard-working, double hard-working, tough on the outside but actually soft on the inside, extremely generous and giving, a gourmand, a
classical music lover and a Mets fan.
Now, no discussion about Dad’s life would be complete without talking
about his philosophy about money. In a last will and testament he made about twenty years ago, he made the following provision:
Having been of sound and disposing mind during my lifetime, I
basically spent all of my money and then some. You see, Dad had a unique way of thinking about money. He would often say, “Money is like manure. You spread it around and watch things grow.” In his case, his investments were not the traditional types, like stocks,
bonds, mutual funds or real estate. No, his primary investments were his children.
Despite Dad’s incredible intelligence and abilities, he never aspired to great wealth. It really wasn’t that important to him. Certainly, he made a good
living. But his real fortune was two fold - his love for his children and having been blessed in having chosen a profession that he absolutely loved.
Dad never considered the practice of law as work. To him, it was pure
fun. He loved the intellectual challenge, the legal research, learning new things all the time, writing briefs and affidavits, strategizing, counseling his
clients, and sparring with his adversaries. Success, for him, was never measured in dollars. His real reward was the personal satisfaction he got simply by practicing law. The joy Dad exuded throughout his life for the legal profession was infectious to many in my family, myself included. Growing up, my brothers and
sisters and cousins did not just see in my father a man who was able to comfortably provide for his family, but a man who loved what he did and who showed it. His enthusiasm for law inspired a family of lawyers. His only
complaint was that we also needed a family of clients. Practicing law all these years with my father was often like having a front row seat to a great show for which I am extremely fortunate. I watched
him craft intelligent arguments which he articulated with precision. He could sift through better than anyone I ever met a complicated set of facts and
reduce them to their simplest form. However, he may have gone a little
overboard when he told a judge that his adversary’s argument was “cockiedooty.”
Dad cross-examined witnesses like a sly fox. He could disarm his
adversaries with his charm and sense of humor. With his powerful and commanding voice, and his imposing stature, he was quite a presence. In the practice of law, and in his personal life, he was bold. He was brash. He was tough. He was focused. He was confident. He was tenacious. He rarely backed down. He did not mince words. You always knew where he stood, whether you liked it or not.
And, finally, for Dad, his greatest accomplishment in life was his family. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So, I decided to bring with me today a picture that Dad prominently displayed in his office. It is a picture of the entire family taken at Blake’s Bar Mitzvah. Although it’s hard to see from where you are, take a look at it later if you can. See how proud my father is. Surrounded by his entire family, including, his seven children and their spouses, his 13 grandchildren and his wife. He is positively beaming.
Yesterday, I received an e-mail from one of Dad’s friends who,
unfortunately, is out of town and could not be here today. But, she and her husband wrote me the following e-mail which encapsulates Dad’s life and which I would like to share with you now. The friend wrote:
Dear Kyle, Guy and Family,
We are so very sad to hear the news about Jerry's passing. No matter what you know is coming you are never really prepared to lose your beloved parent. I only hope you and the family will find comfort in the many wonderful family memories you all created together. Jerry's greatest pleasure was the love and comfort he experienced with his family. Everyone who knew him knew that that was his greatest treasure. He spoke about all of you all of the time.
We will miss his great smile and sense of humor, his wise counsel, his help and friendship. His great passion for his work was only surpassed by his greater love for all of you and his grandchildren. With all of these treasures at his side all the time his was a rich life well spent.
He will be truly missed.