Sareve Dukat
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Living Life Joyously
When Sareve Dukat, at age 20, resolved to marry her high school sweetheart, Joel Shapiro, there was no talking her out of it ‹ not even by her mother, who thought she was too young. The other day, Mr. Shapiro recalled his wife's response to her mother this way: "She said, 'You have a choice: Either I will hide his socks when you come to visit, or we will get married.' "

Ms. Dukat, 53, was an opinionated woman. She knew what she liked and she went for it. She worshiped Mickey Mantle. (Her husband's preference for Sandy Koufax did not change her mind.) Early mornings, at least twice a week, she walked her "aerobics walk" along Riverside Park. On weekends, she walked along the beach at the family's summer home on Long Beach, on Long Island, solving "the problems of the world," her husband said. She loved to travel. She went to every sports event she could.

And not a week went by that she did not go to the theater, usually with a colleague, Jon Schlissel. They worked for the New York State Department of Taxation and Finance, on the 87th floor of 2 World Trade Center.

As Mr. Shapiro put it, "She was committed to living her life joyously."

She was also committed to him: they stayed married for 33 years. "She was and is my emotional core," Mr. Shapiro said. "Now there's this void that someone described as a toothache of the heart. It isn't always a sharp pain. But it never goes away."

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Published in New York Times on Oct. 22, 2001.
Memories & Condolences
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22 entries
September 11, 2017
Sareve's husband, Joel, gave me a tour when I visited the 911 memorial and museum. He spoke of her fondly and proudly. I think of them often and especially on Sept. 11.
Drue Allison
April 30, 2017
Rest in peace
Rosalie Harman
October 8, 2011
I attended a gathering in Danville, Il. on Sept. 10th. Candles were given out with names imprinted on those candles of all who gave thier lives that day in those towers. My candle said Sareve Dukat.You are remembered. My condolence to your family.
September 11, 2011
Gap Teeth

The harbor gapes in unnatural haze, its two front teeth knocked out--

it cannot chew the ash that shades a mourning moonscape.

Triggered by lack of light, eclipsed streetlights so faint

we cannot see spirits who haunt the zero ground--

where terrorists jettisoned their souls.

We put our hardheads into hardhats--

searching for shadows lost and found--

smudged eyes damp not only from acrid soot.

Missing firefighters and cops still search--

their winking headlights in the rubble--

they will seek the peace forever.

We seek the light--

to understand the sight that's jumbled through the smoke--

Love leavened justice will hug hate till it ooze away.

The blood shall mulch the soil--

out of mass murder, peaceful accord--

the peace will heal us, every living thing.

The peace You bring will grow again.
Margaret Fruth
September 11, 2011
I recieved Sareve's name today at church. On this day of remembrance known that I am praying for you as you remember your Mom, duaghter, sister and friend.
June 22, 2009
Take comfort in knowing that now you have a special guardian angel to watch over you.
Doug Abraham
October 24, 2006
As I cross-stitched your name on the memorial that I am doing for all of the victims, I prayed for you and your family. Please know that your death was not in vain. We will always remember. God Bless.
September 29, 2006
In remembrance....
P Tabbernor
September 11, 2006
Dear Lauren and Athena - On this day I grieve with you. It is with heavy heart that I think of your Mother. How proud she was of you both and how proud you should be of her and the extraordinary attributes she passed on to you. Sareve touched so many; she will never be forgotten. My love and thoughts go out to you and your Dad on this 5th memorial anniversary. With love, Lyne Weiss Glaser
Lyne Weiss Glaser
April 6, 2004
I would like to say something about Mrs. Dukat. I did not know her personally. But I had the *pleasure* ( yes pleasure) to straighten out my audit with her advice and her even-handedness some 6 months before 9/11. My "accountant" ( who shall remain unnamed here) pretty much screwed up my audit and I asked permission from Sareve if I can represent myself in the future. She said it was acceptable and I was then able to be vindicated. I will never forget this woman who in a difficult time for me , seemed like a breath of fresh air. I don't know what led me to type in her name at the search this evening but I just did, maybe because I felt I needed to mention her good character to someone. I believe God had a hand in this. Strangely enough , when the names of the deceased people of 9/11 disaster were read off one at a time, it was Sareve Dukat's name that I heard *last* as I turned off the radio from 1010 WINS in my car while I just finished parking. It was not a coincidence I believe.

God rest your soul Sareve.

Peter Achilles Platis
Peter Platis
December 9, 2002
I met Sareve Dukat when she mediated a tax situation of mine. I was struck by her interlect and sense of fairness. I hope time has found some relief for her family.
stuart lesser
September 12, 2002
Dear Joel, Athena, Lauren, Ann and Paul,

This poem was written the other week. I hope that you do not mind my sharing it with you. I wanted you to know that my hopes and prayers go out to you. I think about Sareve every day. And especially today (I could not get this in on 9/11 due to the traffic). For her sake, remember the good and happy times. Live your lives as joyously as she would have. You and I know that she would have wanted it this way.

All my love,

He is there for you

Tho I walk through a valley of sorrow,
Holding my head high for tomorrow.

I have much strength and will,
For I know he is with me still.

He looks over me in my hour of need,
With words of love for all to heed.

His hand is open for you to grasp,
Ready to hold firm in a heavenly clasp.

The challenge is greatest when end is near,
When about to loose those so dear.

But know his word and his promise will be true,
And eternal peace will be there for you.
Stephen Kessler
September 11, 2002
I knew Sareve through the marriage of Joel's sister Shelly to my cousin Steve. I had the luck of being seated with her at Daniel's Bar Mitzvah back in Nov of 2000 in Vermont and enjoyed her many amusing stories. She was full of life and although I have only been in her company a handful of times over the years, her joy of life will always be something that I remember. She was so proud of her family and I always admired their closeness. God Bless you all and know that Sareve is in ther heart of everyone she touched.
Tari Shapiro
August 23, 2002
I knew Sareve back in the 70's when she joined New York Women Against Rape. Flora and I spent many evenings with Sareve at our New York Women Against Rape Headquarters and Sareve was a wonderful friend to us all. She was so bright, so organized and so dependable. She took charge of our accounting, our finances and kept us calm with her wise counsel. When she got pregnant she left NYWAR to be a mom and we missed her so. No one could take her place. I am heartbroken to learn that she was taken from her family and this world. What a special person she was! Dodie Glasse
dodie glasse
August 21, 2002
I knew Sareve many years ago when she was a volunteer for NYWAR. She was a wonderful role model and had a great laugh. My prayers are with you, Flora Colao
Flora Colao
June 7, 2002
Athena, I didn't ever meet your mother, but I know you from Brith Sholom. I'm so sorry for your family's loss- Stephanie
Stephanie Katz
April 29, 2002
I just learned at a Leonia High School class reunion that Sareve was among the World Trade Center victims. Although I don't think I've seen Sareve since high school, the news brought tears to my eyes. I had started in Leonia in my sophomore year, and Sareve was the classmate who kindly took me under her wing. We went our separate ways (she was anything but the cheerleader type!!), but I always respected Sareve for her enormous intelligence, hard work and determination.
May she rest in peace.
Patricia Holden
April 25, 2002
May God Bless you and the family and friends that you left behind on 9/11/01. Rest in peace..........
Angie Campbell
April 1, 2002
Sareve was a childhood friend of mine growing up in Leonia NJ. She was a wonderfully strong willed person, and although I lost contact with her years ago, feel a distinct loss, and miss her. May God Bless her Soul and family.
Arthur Zayat
January 12, 2002
January 4, 2002
May the sorrow in your hearts be lightened by the precious memories of times shared with Sareve. We are deeply sorry for your loss. May Sareve's life and love live on in you. Our hearts cry with you.
America Cries
We see your sorrow-
and our hearts cry....
We can not erase your pain
but you do not have to face the anguish alone-for we-
-the American people-
are beside you.
We so desperately want to have the touch that brings you comfort,
the strength that gives you courage,
and the words to lighten your spirits.
And when we are left speechless
may the silence of our nation weave love into your hearts
to ease your sorrow.
May you find healing through our nation's strength as we-
-the American people-
face this difficult time together. Our hearts are with you. Teresa Jahn
Dixon, IL
Teresa Jahn
November 15, 2001
Sareve will be missed dearly as she was an intelligent friend with compassion and tolerance. She certainly was an extraordinary woman of substance with capabilities and potential yet untapped . She was one of few people you could have an intelligent,stimulating conversation
with never being bored. She was one of few people in my life who was able to touch me , make a difference. Knowing Sareve brought joy to me and to all those she loved and cared about.
Marcia Sorin
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