Hi Scott, Happy your Dad is with you again. Im sure your having a great time. . Please do me a big favor and ask your dad to keep sending me Birds ascending beautiful ones now.
Sending you both big big hugs miss and love you both so much.

Hi, Scott! Well, it's been 14 years today (California time) since you left us, but this year your Dad has joined you! What a glorious day that must have been for both of you! I know Dad was looking forward to seeing you, and I am genuinely happy for you both. Mass today was offered for you, and Father Masseo included Dad in his intentions. It was such a nice gesture! And then he asked for prayer for me; I was humbled by Father's recognition. Your keiki are amazing and all are doing so well! I am so excited to see what their next adventures might be. Dad & I rescued a Senior Black Lab just before Dad had his heart attack. Maximus became Dad's companion before he got sick and now he is my new best buddy; we do a lot together and I take him with me whenever I can! You'd love him! Oh, if that was you "pranking" me today with the bread, good job...you made me chuckle with a big smile! Now if I could just find the keys to the Armada, I'd be settled in. Seriously though, miss you so much and love you more, but feel blessed that Dad is with you and you're keeping each other company. I'm very much at peace with Dad's passing; I thank God daily for His mercies and for my Faith! Don't worry about me, Maxi-Boy keeps me sane, and our Blessed Mother intercedes on my behalf for my safety. All is well. Keep the light on for me! Love, Mom

Merry Christmas, my precious son! It sure is different this year! Dad had a heart attack and stroke on November 19, and multiple strokes on the 21st. He went unresponsive and they bagged and vented him, and I got a call at 4:10 in the morning saying I should come if I felt comfortable driving that time of night. Both of your boys were here, but I didn't want to scare them, so I went by myself. About 55 hours later, they took him off the ventilator, and he's been off it since doing fairly well. Now he's in a skilled nursing facility in San Luis. It's sad but hopeful! He started crying this morning and said how much he misses you! I'm sure he is worried about me being all alone. The other big difference is I didn't go to Midnight Mass tonight! First time I believe I've missed in the 14 Christmases you've been gone. It's raining AND we rescued a senior dog back in August and he's been alone ALL day, so I didn't want to leave him again tonight. I'll go tomorrow, then plan on picking up Dad and bringing him down here for s couple of hours after I go to regular Christmas Mass in the morning! I've been praying for dad and asking our Blessed Mother and all of the Saints who have been meaningful in our lives to intercede for me. I want Dad to see you again, but not quite yet! It's tough without you during this time, but I know God is by my side and I'll get through it! But a little Intercession from you is most welcome! Thank you!
Your kids are great. By age, all adults now. BRINA graduated college in May, Summa Cum Laude...doesn't get better than that! Saber is working as a tour guide ziplining, kayaking, and hiking...everyone loves him! Dutchie has put in his application to the County for lifeguarding. They're all on their way, honey. You'd be so very proud! We are!
Love you so much. Always miss you, but during this time with Dad, I miss you so much more...if that's even possible!
Please take care..tell your grandpas and grandma's hi, and please never ever forget how much you are loved by so many left behind here on Earth, but no one loves you more than me! Keep the light on...all is as well as it can be, all things considered! Love you, Scott! Love and tight hugs , Mom

Hi, again, honey! Your birthday message didn't make it from me either, but glad you got one from your dear friend! Hope you had a great celebration; it was an interesting day here at the house, but I'm sure you saw it all! I've been praying that you are "allowed" to intercede,especially with Saber! I know you'll be good for him! Tambrina is in her final year in college..she's doing so good..straight A's & just like last year, she got that news the day before your b/day. She's talking about taking a year off to work, then go back for her Masters! You'd be in awe of her; we are! Anyway, I wonder what it'd be like today if you were still here. I worry about Dad; he's starting to have some issues like Grandma had. I know you'd be upset seeing his decline! It's sad and scary, but I know you're close by to help get us through. Thanks! All-in-all, everything is good, and I am so blessed to be your mom!! I thank God everyday! Love and Miss you. Keep the light on for me. And happy belated 51st!

Happy Heavenly Birthday Scotty! Love and miss you❤ Until we meet again

Hi, Scott! Please don't think I didn't send you my annual Christmas Eve manuscript.. I did...for whatever reason, it didn't get published, and I didn't get a rejection notice, so not sure what happened. Anyway, I hope you had a great Christmas with the family. Cousin, Joseph "jojo" was new to your family table this year. Bet Terry was glad to see him, but sad that he died so young...younger than you were.
Love and Miss you so very much. Birthday in a couple of days. I'll write then and hopefully this and that one will make publication.
All's well. Keep the light on for me. Mom

Hi Scotty,
Like to wish you a late Happy 50th Birthday. Ricky will be the big 50 in 3 years and 10 mo. and in 3 years uncle Rick and I will have our 50th wedding Annv. Give Grandma Fairbanks and Grandpa Fairbanks hugs for us thanks. You know Scotty we are so very proud of your kids doing so well. Hugs Aunt B.B. and Uncle Rick

Hi again, Honey! I've attempted to post twice to this page to wish you a Happy 50th Birthday, but neither post has shown up yet! I hope you had a great day eating birthday cake made by Grandma Sousa and laughing over a pot of coffee with Grandma Fairbanks! I wonder what you would look like at 50? Would you have grey hair like I did, or just a little around the temples like Dad? One thing I know for sure, your smile would still light up the room and your laugh would still be as infectious as ever! I went to Morning Mass on your birthday; the Mass intentions were for you, Uncle Al, and Terry! All is good; Dad & I will be picking up your baby girl in a couple of weeks as she begins her 2nd semester of her junior year in college! She was so excited with her grades for first semester: Straight A's along with an A+. I told her that was the best birthday gift she could ever have given you!
Let's see if this post makes it. I have no idea why the other 2 did not!
I Love You, Scotty Eugene Aloysius Fairbanks! My greatest accomplishment and the joy of my universe! All is well. Leave the light on for me! Mom

So I was laughing and smiling...hugging the air ALOT..and shedding a few tears today as I was preparing dinner for dad and me.
The toaster stopped working...after dad had used it this morning, but it refused to work when I wanted some toast. Dad threw it out. I preheated the oven; it kept beeping and displaying messages. I'd turn them completely off, go to the other side of the kitchen, and I'd get more displays and beeping noises. Go turn them off, only to have them come back on. Ended up turning off the oven completely, but the messages and beeping continued!! Then I got some carrots out of the fridge to munch on, and when I went back into the kitchen a few minutes later, there were 3 baby carrots on the floor like they were making a trail.
Dad came downstairs; I told him you were here and you had had me hugging the air all afternoon. He didn't saying and went back upstairs. Last I heard from you. That's when I cried. But thank you for at least letting me think you were here pranking me like you always used to do. Didn't mean to cry. Just in case you were still here, we Set a place for you at the table with the picture we have of you hanging in our room. A favorite, for sure.
Well son, I've made it through 12 Christmases! Never thought I'd make it through a single day. Love and miss you. Love, Mom
PS. Should I go
Get the toaster out of the trash???

Hi honey! Here it is. Christmas Eve, almost Christmas Day. I'm home from Mass at the Old Mission in San Luis. They still call it midnight mass although it was at 10 o'clock but the Midnight Mass here at home was at 8 o'clock and that just doesn't seem right; especially after all the years that you served Midnight Mass at midnight! Yup, I am still a stickler on tradition.
It'll be a quiet Christmas this year just dad and I, but that's OK; we had a nice dinner last week at Ron's house. I'm going to fix prime rib tomorrow and hope it's as good as Ron's was. Hope everything is going good there!! sorry I didn't spend longer at the cemetery with you today; it was cold and wet but I sat in the car by your grave and listened to a beautiful Christmas song and it made it easier. 12 Christmases. Wow. how did that happen ? Sometimes it seems like yesterday and other times it doesn't seem like you've been gone at all .
Your kids are doing great! Tambrina will be starting her second semester as a junior in college her grades are really good she's talking about maybe coming here and staying with Dad and me to complete her masters and get her credential at Cal Poly! Wouldn't that be super? Saber has moved back home. I think he and his mom are getting along better and he and Dutch have gotten really close. Since Dutchie fell off the roof and hurt his sternum he hasn't done as well in swim and he had to really slow down in cross country; hopefully next year will be better for him. Dad's having some health issues but I'm doing my best to help keep them under control. The docs are too, of course.
I'm rambling. Wish we could just sit and talk like we used to. Christmas and Thanksgiving Eves were some of my favorite times. You'd sit up with me in the kitchen and we'd talk for hours while I was preparing for the big day! Even after you married, if you weren't here, you'd call me and we would run up a pretty hefty phone bill!! Oh, how I remember those times!! Thank you! I miss them ...and YOU!
All your cousins and their families are doing good. Ricky and Kristin just bought a new house. Still in Riverside. Randy gave us quite a scare last month. If you or grandpa or uncle Al had anything to do with the intercession, thank you! He's home and seems to be doing good. Jeff and Lori are adopting Terrys youngest Granddsughter. Tell him in case he doesn't know. I know he will want to help out from there! And Jessie is a few weeks pregnant. Tambrina is having a little bit of a hard time with that; her cousin just a year younger than her is going to be having a baby. But she's ok. Jordan is getting married in June in Arkansas and Mandi is getting married in October. Who's next? When the times come, I hope you'll be making one of your special appearances. Ha! I treasure those times.
I still hug the air like Saber said we should do! He's such a sweetheart! And I'm still rambling! Sorry
Ok I'll sign off. Please know how much you are forever loved and missed. Dad's still having those great dreams I told you about. Thanks! I wish I had more of them, but I guess it might be because my sleep pattern is crazy and I don't seem to have many dreams at all.
Ok done! Miss you...love you more! Keep the light on for me. All is well. MERRY CHRISTMAS, precious son of mine! Tell everyone hi. Love. Mom

Good Morning, Son! Just checking in to say "Hi!" Hope you have your wings in good shape..your little girl started her Junior Year of college this week; your "bestest buddy ever" graduated high school and is living on his own (pretty much), and your little guy got his driver's permit yesterday! Hard to believe, but it's true!
Hope all is good for you. Take care, love and miss you more every day!! Keep the light on for me! All is well! HUGS...Mom

Happy birthday Scott on Jan.5 like to thank you for the rain.
We miss you so much. Give grandma and papa Fairbanks hugs for us.love you

Happy Birthday, Scotty! 49! Wow! That makes me (almost) old! So many memories of this day 49 years ago! You are the best thing that ever happened to me; I thank God daily for His Blessing by choosing me as your mom! I miss you. I miss hearing you call me "Mom!" I miss your laugh...that vibrant laugh that filled the room! So many things I miss. But so many things to be thankful for; the 38 1/2 years I had you, everything we learned about being a mom and a son, all the "character" we were forced to build (you certainly remember all of those times), your depth and your ability to love unconditionally, your passions, your never being a stranger to anyone; I could go on for volumes, but you know! You've always known my heart! I know you miss your kids but I know you're with them all of the time; they know it too! Keep up the great work with them, continue to guide them. With that, happiest of birthdays, Scotty Eugene Aloyusius Fairbanks! Tell everyone hi..you get to celebrate with Uncle Al this year (we miss him, too),keep the light on for me. Rest Well. You are deeply loved, and mostly by me!

Lovely to read your letters to Scott ... Tim

Merry Christmas, Son! Just back from Midnight Mass and ready for my annual letter to you! This year is a bit different. I'm home instead of back at the office writing this; I went to Mass in Arroyo Grande for the first time since our first Christmas without you ; always before I've gone into San Luis. That's always been my "home parish" and where I seem to find more comfort. But this year, I just wanted to be back where you and I always went...where you served Midnight Mass and where we went for all the years whenever you came home and where I brought you for your funeral Mass. It was nice. I felt at peace. Emotional, especially in the beginning, but still peaceful. You'd think not having you here for 11 Christmases now, I'd be better. For whatever reason, this Christmas has been tough for me without you. I don't remember the previous ones being like this. But tonight seemed to bring solace and I'm sure tomorrow I will be back to normal. Whatever that is!
So, what's up with you? Dad has sure been having some great dreams about you and it's always nice that he shares them with me. Tambrina is doing great. Hard to believe she's in her 2nd year of college. Just as hard is to think Saber will be graduating high school in just a few short months! He's having some real issues with his mom and school. Reminds me a little of your teenage years LOL. I don't like to make excuses, but I really feel he never had the opportunity to grieve for you and Leo was thrown at him right away, so he couldn't. That, along with just being his Dad's son. I'm going to try to talk to him. It doesn't sound like he has the grades to get into a 4-year college, and that's ok. Please try to run some interference for him; he truly is a great kid! Dutchie is quite the runner. Made cross country All Star 1st place!! His swimming ain't bad either. Ha!
Well, I guess I'll be getting along. You know you are ALWAYS in my heart and on my mind. 11 Christmases without you. That IS unbelievable! I remember the last one. Soooo much fun! Sooo many gifts. Such a huge "extra luggage" charge. Ah, those were the days! Love you forever. Keep the light on for me! And keep giving such nice dreams to Dad. You are a sweetheart and are so missed! Love n hugs. Merry Christmas! Love, mom

Hi..Figured out what happened. I posted with a message and pictures of your 2 oldest kids, then found the one of Dutchie, and submitted it a few minutes later with the notation "didn't want to leave him out". Sure it made no sense because the first one was never posted. So going to try again! I think that's the same thing that happened on Christmas; submitted 2 messages back-to-back, but only the one with the picture posted even tho both were approved.
We laid Uncle Al to rest this past weekend; close to you, with his twin. Know you must have been watching us! Full Military Services. Very nice!
Love you, Sweetheart! Leave the light on for me! All is well...and we are picking up Tambrina tomorrow morning as she begins her Sophomore year in college!!!!!!

Didn't want to leave Dutch out. He missed an event, and momma isn't happy!! lol.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Scotty! 48 years ago I gave birth to the most amazing son a mother could ever ask for! I thank God daily for allowing me 38 of those years with you. God Speed, my son! All is well! Love and Miss you. Love, Mom

Hi, Just wanted to let you know I sent you my annual Midnight Mass update, along with the picture of your family; the picture got posted, but not the message! Hopefully, Legacy will find it and add it to your Guest Book! They said it had been approved, but it hasn't shown up yet! Boo!
Hope all is good. Love and Miss you so much!
Keep the light on for me. (((hugs))) Mom

Last message wasn't supposed to end in "???" They were supposed to be "!!!" All IS well!!!! And since I'm here, Dutch took FIRST PLACE in his cross country race. Quite a runner, that Freshman son of yours. Would love to have seen the look on your face when he crossed the finish line! Love you and miss you so much! RIP. All is well!!!!!!

Hi honey. Can't sleep, so thought I'd say Hi to my precious son! Hope all is good and that you're behaving yourself. Hahaha. Always a mom, huh!? I loved being your mom and I'm sure I will always miss hearing your voice calling me mom! Sad news. Uncle Al was diagnosed with metastasized skeletal cancer. We will know more next week after he sees the oncologist. Happier news: Tambrina loves college; Saber is thriving with his new swim coach and is doing really well as a Jr in high school. Dutch's Freshman year is a little difficult, but he is excelling in Cross Country and has another meet tomorrow. Both boys are going to the Bill Smith swim meet next month; Dad's going over to dog sit. He's looking forward to it. You know him and dogs!! I swear he's a dog-whisperer! Ha! Ok. Still not sleepy, but will close. Love and miss you, always and forever! Keep the light on for me. RIP Scott. All is well, ????

Scotty, It was great to see Tambrina, Saber and Dutch over Christmas time. They all look great and they all look like you. Happy late birthday Scotty. Love you and miss you very much.

I had no Idea he passed. He is and was a awesome dude. Very nice and wonderful guy to know. R.I.P. Scott.

Hi, Honey! It's Mom with her annual "After Midnight Mass" letter to you. Church was packed tonight. A lady half way down the aisle saw me come in and stand at the door; she came and got me to offer a seat next to her! Go grateful. I know my back would never have made it standing the entire time. So, how's everything with you? I think God answered my prayer and allowed you to have a slight participation with Tambrina's State competition this past weekend. She had wings and bettered almost all of her times; some by nearly 30 seconds! Her final Short-Course State Competition since she graduates high school and heads for college. Hard to believe; you probably saw Dad choke up over Thanksgiving when we went by the cemetery to say "hi" and he told you your little girl was going to be going to college. You've got 3 great kids!! And tomorrow, Christmas Day, Dad and I will be driving to San Jose to pick them up at the airport. They're flying in with Brandi,and they'll all be staying at the house for a week. Then we'll take them back on New Year's Eve for them to fly out New Year's. Brandi has to be back to work because she has 2 new SPED kids coming in and she has to prepare for them, and Brina and Saber have a swim meet that they can't miss or Brina may lose her position as Team Captain. Dutch broke his hand Saturday, their dog bit him. Man, that must've hurt like crazy. He's fine tho, got a cast the same purple color as the Lakers. Ooops, your rival. Well, you liked them until you were introduced to the Kings.
Better get going. Don't want to make this yet another manuscript, but just couldn't break my annual Christmas Eve letter to you. By the time I get home (I'm at the office since Mass was here in town), it'll be Christmas. Ooopss, just looked at the time, it is Christmas. Merry Christmas, Son! We miss you every day even after all these years. This is 9 Christmases without you. Miss your voice and your laughter, and especially miss seeing the thrill and excitment on your face as your kids opened their gifts. Oh, you probably know by know John-John's sister died last week. Hope you were able to be there to welcome her into her new home. Tell Terry HI, he has his first granddaughter! Of course, tell both sets of Grandpas and Grandmas hello. Hopefully, you can spend Christmas with them, Aunt Genevieve and Uncle Gordy and Terry.
Love you! Talk to you soon!
Be good. Rest in Peace. All is well!
Mom

Hi, Scotty! Hope all is good for you. Guess you know by now, Father Peter died last week; I'll be attending his Funeral Mass tomorrow night. He did such an amazing job officiating at your Funeral Mass and Burial, but just as amazing is that the month after you died, I started attending the First-Saturday-of-the-month Mass at the cemetery, and Father Peter was the officiating priest. For eight full years now I have been attending that Mass every First Saturday, almost without fail, and it has been uncanny..and amazing..that Father has always been able to touch on the very issue I was worrying about or questioning. He never knew it; I was always going to write him and tell him, so now I've written it here and in his own Guest Book. His Homily would often bring me to tears; not because they made me sad, but because they allowed me to accept your death better and they strengthened my faith in knowing I'll see you again someday. When you see Father Peter, please thank him for me.
The next huge thing, and on a very exciting note, is all 3 of your kids will be in California in less than 36 hours to compete in the Jr. Lifeguard National Championships! Their team, Team Kauai, is representing the entire island in the Nationals. Please put in a special petition to keep them safe in their flights and in their competition. Dad and I will be there to watch and hang out until they return to the island.
Miss you like crazy, and love you even more! Until we meet, keep the light on for me. Tell Terry and Grandpas and Grandmas HI from me, too. Hope you're behaving yourself...smile... Love n Hugs, Mom

Happy Father's Day Scott!

Hi, Honey! Another Christmas Eve, another Midnight Mass, and now another note to catch up. I just read my message to you from this time last year, and I just feel like I could repeat, verbatim, what I said then. Tonight was the same as I sat and listened and prayed. Remembering all of Christmas Midnight Masses when you served. Tonight the priest had a very meaningful Homily, and I smiled through most of it, thinking of you and wondering if you celebrate Christ's Birth. Do you have a birthday party?
Your kids are doing great..I was so happy for Brina and Saber today - they're both on the High School Swim Team and had practice today. Afterwards, the team went Christmas caroling at a convelesant home. They both LOVED how happy all of the patients seemed to be, how they joined in and sang and clapped. Brina said how good it made her feel to help make someone she didn't even know, happy! You've got some special kids there..they take after their Daddy, for sure.
I think I'm rambling. Just seems this night writing to you has become my new Christmas Tradition...Midnight Mass then write a tribute and hello to you. Oh, one more thing not the same as last year. I hope you've seen "Aunt" Karen. She always loved you so much. She was my very best girlfriend; she's out of her pain and suffering now. What a horrible last few years she had. I hope she's okay. Tell her HI, please.

I;ll write again in a few days. Your birthday is on a Saturday this year, so the gang is coming over to celebrate yours and Terry's. Like I said last year, you're going to be sharing every year with him now.

Your buddy,Greg is doing great! He and I were talking the other day about how so many of your friends have contacted me thru Facebook; they share lots of wonderful memories with you and with me. I am so very blessed that you were so special to everyone you met that they keep looking me up to share their special times! Thank you!
We all miss you. Have a beautiful Christmas. Tell everyone "hi".
Love and miss you more!
Love and Hugs, Mom

Hi Scott... Just been thinking about you sending big hugs your way. We all miss you very much. Wow I can't get over your little girl has her Driver's License. Oh yes we have moved again but to Nipomo, Ca. We love our new big home.
Hugs Aunt B.B. Uncle Rick

Well honey another milestone for your little girl! She got her Driver's License today! Please do double duty as her Guardian Angel and don't be afraid to ask for help from our family who is there with you! Love and prayers to you all. I miss you so very much but you know that! Hope you got to see more of the Olympics than I did! Talk to you again soon. Love n hugs, mom

? Just thinking about you my dear friend~
AGHS 1987

Hi, Scott...Just wanted to let you know all 3 of your keiki are in a swim meet tomorrow, The Kauai Classic. They're all trying to better their "best times" and make some new time standards for State. Your daughter is in her first-ever 1,000 Free, and she's pretty anxious. She got bumped up to Seniors a few weeks ago; Sabe's in Juniors, and Dutchie is right behind him. They all do great. If you have any pull up there, maybe you could make their arms spin like wheels, and their legs kick hard and strong...Above all, help to keep them safe. Love and miss you, honey. Know you are so proud of all 3 of your kids...you left Dad and I a wonderful legacy. Love n Hugs, Mom

Wow Scott 45 where has the time gone Happy Birthday. We miss you so very much
I see next week it is your cousin's Birthday so celebrate. I can see the two of you now.

Sending you big hugs tell grandma grandpa Fairbanks we said hi.

Happy 45th Birthday, Scott! I remember like it was yesterday when you were born and I cherished every moment I had you. I remember like it was yesterday when I received the call every Mother dreads, and now I just have memories to cherish. But they are beautiful memories, filled with a few not-so great teenage years' memories, (smile), but that's what makes the beautiful ones so much more wonderful, because they made you the man you turned out to be, and you in turn made me a better person, and I thank you!
Next week is your cousin's 50th, and his first one not on this earth. Help him celebrate up there the way he would have wanted to down here (well, maybe not exactly, but you know what I mean)... Mass for both of you on Friday, then the birthday party on Saturday! Looks like you'll be sharing them from here on just like you used to do as kids when the weekends fell like they're doing this year..right between each one.
Gotta go...not going to cry, well maybe not...love and miss you so very much, but I know you're OK and that's what counts most! That you are OK!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SON! Love, Mom

Hi, Honey! Mom again on Christmas Eve, right after Midnight Mass. They don't hold it at midnight any more, like they did when you were growing up and we'd go, but it still "counts" hahaha.. While I sat in Mass tonight I couldn't help but remember all of those Midnight Masses when you were the Alter Boy. I teared up a little tonight as I watched the Alter Boys doing what you used to do and remembering how much you loved serving Midnight Mass! That's what memories do. Sometimes they make me cry, most mostly it is through smiles, and the smiles usually always come up on top.

Thanks for all you do, Scott. You are still the greatest inspiration in my life; I still try to live like you are here so that you'd always be proud to say "That's my mom!" Not a day goes (hardly a minute sometimes) that I don't think about you. Like I said, I still cry at some of the memories, but most of the time it's more for what I think you are missing out on, like being with your kids and really seeing them grow - than it is for me. I hold onto the thought that maybe you're able to see them better now, and getting lots of joy and gratification. They are becoming their own person; learning to row their own canoe.

I know I've said it before, but I do pray that you are at peace, Sweetheart, that you really can be the guardian angel to your precious children and their mom, and that you are alive vicariously through those around them!

This year you have your cousin with you; it's so sad here on earth, but I'm happy you have someone who you were so close to with you. Timmy's little brother is there too this year, and I know Timmy asked you to be on the lookout for him. Hope you, Brian and Jeff (and now Terry and Patrick) are behaving yourselves.)

I think what I miss the most is our phone calls, your voice, your laugh, hearing you say "I love you, Mom."
But I know I was blessed with 38 1/2 years having you with me even when you lived 3,000 miles away. You live further now, and like that song says "If heaven weren't so far away, I'd pack up my things and go for the day"..

Have a beautiful Christmas with Jesus this year. Tell your Grandpas and Grandmas hello; I bet they were happy to see Terry, but sad for us left behind.

None, not one, of the Christmas boxes made it to Hawaii, Brina even went over to the post office like you did that time in Kona. She wasn't so lucky; they claimed none were there. Remember, you got about 13 boxes that Christmas Eve Night. They'll be having their Christmas late; I'm not happy about it, but they're being good sports. Christmas is extended this way, they tell me.

OK, going home now....

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY 2012.
Join me in all my ventures and travels. I love to have you along!
Miss those $$ games, show Terry how it's done for his mom or dad, too.

Love and Hugs, Rest in Peace, Precious Son!

Mom

It's Thanksgiving week...you told me more than once this was your very favorite holiday, and, except for the excitement of gifts at Christmas, was the best time because we always had a house full of family, and you loved that. After you moved, you would call me on the night before Thanksgiving, 'cuz you knew I'd be working in the kitchen; we'd compare notes about roasting the turkey - me the traditional way and you wrapping yours in tea leaves, as we toasted each other over the phone as if we were in the same room, and talked about the memories we each had when you were growing up! I cherish those memories, Scott, and many more, and I do Thank God every day for giving you to me for 38 1/2 cherished years; I would not trade them for a moment. This year your "bro-cousin" Terry is there joining you, along with the brother of one of your dear friends. All of you have a fantastic Thanksgiving; be sure you and Terry get a game of pool in with Grandpa Sousa; say HI to everyone else for me. Thanks for the wonderful memories! Love and miss you, bunches! Mom

Hi Scotty,
I told your Dad that I saw you at the Motel uncle Rick and I were at. I know I saw you you come in the room and uncle Rick was in the bathroom and I said Scotty what are you doing it is great to see you you need to go see your Mom and Dad then you drop your red drink on the bed.
when I got up I looked to see if there was red on the bed and it was gone so you were in my dreams it was so very realy that you were in the room.
any who, I am having a hard time with my birthday this year the big 60 but I am calling it the new 40's that will work for me. we miss you so much sending big hugs your way. Say hi to grandma & grandpa.
Love Aunt B.B. and Uncle Rick

This has been the saddest week of my life finding out that you have passed. Your such a awesome man even when you were a teenager you were so sweet and kind which is not always easy to do as a teenager I wish we would have stayed in touch more anyone that met you fell in love with you I know I did I will always be so grateful for the memories!!! Love Always Debby

I just wanted to say you were the hightlight of our senior trip back in 1984 Hard to believe it was that long ago and hard to believe your gone! You were always so sweet and kind and a great friend!! I hope to see you again some day my friend and Thanks for all the kindness and great memories love always Debby

Remembering what a nice person you were, even as a teenager when I knew you!

We miss you daddy and I can't believe it's been six years! I know you are watching me and guiding me through my life and I will always love you and remember you ? I love you Daddy

Happy Father's Day, Scott!
Your daughter was awesome this weekend in her first-ever Senior Champs, and today, on Father's Day, she texted me this message, verbatim: "Just got my 6th place medal for the 200 breast stroke longcourse first time I ever got to stand on the place block things….like the colorful little blocks with the 1 and the 2 and the 3 all the way to 8.." I hope you were watching her and cheering her on! I was so excited for her, I cried!
I can't believe it will be 6 years next week since I last talked to you. I'm so grateful that last day you and I spent so much time talking...the memories of those conversations and the many before then have sustained me, and have allowed me to smile again.
I think all of your Sousa Cousins will be coming over for our annual Celebration of your Life,and this year, Timmy will plan on being there, too! Your kids were supposed to be, but they're coming in 2 days later because they all have a swim meet...then they'll be in a meet here while visiting. We're all excited, and I think Timmy will stay a couple of days so he can see them. He has remembered your promise to each other, and has told the kids about it. Good job, son!
I had a call from Pat Lack the other day..out of the blue..says he knows you are in heavan and at peace. He has been dreaming about you and said you just have an aura about you - and still that great smile that we all love and miss! It was a very meaningful call, and I truly appreciate your part in making sure he called me, cuz I was having some very unsettling dreams about you myself..he said he knew it and that's why he had called.
Better go...don't need another manuscript. Make yourself known during our Celebration..aunts/uncles and in-laws will be there too.
Love and Miss you, but you know that. Smile down on us when you can, and keep watching over your kids...they are AWESOME...
Later...Love Mom

Hi daddy I just wanted to say hi and let you know I miss you sooooo much that sometimes it's unbearable and I can't belive your not coming back.I love you daddy and wanted to say hi and let yo uknow that grammie is coming next week! Love You!!!!! :)

Happy Valentine's Day, Scotty! It was so special being your First Valentine - thank you! You would always remind me of that, even after Brandi became your "real Valentine" and won your heart. Then came Tambrina, Sabe and Dutchie who quickly fell in line for your love; you were their Everyday Valentine, and they were yours. I know you love them soooo much, and are still watching over them.
Hope you enjoyed the Super Bowl Balloons I left for you last week; I added Valentine Flowers today and noticed "your team's" balloon stayed inflated, but the other one drooped. I got the message and threw it away. Your team is still there, along with the beautiful gladiolas from last week. You must have had a hand in caring for them when I told you they were Grandma's favorite. Thanks.
I listened to your Birthday Message from 6 years ago on my birthday last week; it brought me a big smile and not many tears. Thank you!
Better go. Please know You will ALWAYS be a part of me and close in my heart; I think about you and miss you every day, without fail. I'd love to hear "I love you Mom" and feel your tight hugs, but I have them wrapped in my mind with 38 1/2 years of memories, and for now, I know that will have to do.
Have a beautiful Valentine's Day, Son, I Love You!

Love 'n Hugs from Your First Valentine, Mom.

Hi Scotty! Another Birthday has come and gone. 44. I wish I could give you a big hug too. We cooked a Turducken when you turned 30. You carefully taught me how to prepare tea leaves we picked out in your front yard. Then you wrapped that thing up and put it in the oven. It was so damn good! I think you ate most of it all by yourself. That is a great memory. I have a picture of us in the kitchen. You always were good at cooking. And never a fussy eater. I look at them now and again. We had so much fun. I love you Scotty. See ya later!

Scotty,
Just want to send you a big hug I miss you so much I see your Birthday is coming up wow 44 time is flying by.
Your Daughter is a Laker fan oh boy uncle Rick is going to love that sorry Scotty.
We love and miss you so much.
Love

Scotty,
A day don't go by with out thinking about you.
We were just down with Rickys family for Halloween was great to see them all. Ricky and I talk about you all the time and your beautiful children.
oh Scotty your daughter Wow you keep your eyes on her so cute and I am sure you know that.
Well give grandmas and grandpa's hugs for us.
We love you so much and miss you.
love Aunt B.B. and Uncle Rick

Hey Scotty, Your Mom and your daughter added me as there friends on facebook this weekend. It seem all is well with them. I can't get over how beautiful your children are. I could see you in there faces. Made my day! Your daughter is amazingly beautiful but you already knew that. I sent her a note telling her about the promise we made to each other at my Son's baptism. I told her that if she ever needed anything, to call and I would always be there for her. When your boy's are older I will tell them the same. as for now, They seem to be very happy. I did not want to be the one to tell you but, I think she is a Laker fan. That's a good thing. Love you Scotty! See ya later!

Hey Scott! You must be watching over me. You were always such a good friend to me. I really miss you bro. See ya later!

Scotty, I can't get over it has been 5 years now and your Mom and Dad and family we celebrate a life well lived. We will cherish the memories forever. You will always be in our hearts and prayers. your kids all look great and it was great to see them all.
Uncle Rick and I were a little late on your Celebrate day because of are water heater went out so we did make it over about 4:15p. We did get to talk to Jeff and his wife they are so nice and they to have a Jack Russell.
I am sure you remember about Buddy well we got a new Jack and your kids love him and think he is nuts and they are right.
Well Scotty you know your welcome any time you take care and hugs to all tell Grandma's hi and Papa's hi
Wel love you and miss you so very much.
Love Aunt B.B. and Uncle Rick

Scotty, I am so honored to have known you and had you as one of my dearest friends when I lived in Hawaii. You are truly missed and loved by so many.

Happy Birthday Guy we miss so much and you are always in our hearts.
I can remember the day you were born what a great day that was.

We saw your kids over Thaksgiving time and there all looking great. Boy Saber sure looks alot like you scott.
Your uncle Rick still loves his cars. We went down to Rickys for christimas time and his son is getting so big he is 10mo. old the girls are 6 years and 3 years and I am sure you can see them all. We talked about are last christimas with you at your mom's and Dad's 2004 I will never forget that christmas with you and your family and that big Santa your mom and dad had out that would talk to you and your kids just loved it.
We love you so much and tell Grandma's and Grandpa's hi and give them hugs for us.
Love Aunt Barbara Uncle Rick

Merry Christmas, Son! Just got out of Midnight Mass a few minutes ago and wanted to write a "short" note to you before I head for home..we both know how my "short notes" usually become close to manuscripts, but...

It's been 4 1/2 years since I last talked to you, and 5 years right now since we last saw each other..when you and your beautiful family were home for Christmas and your birthday!! What fun that ALWAYS was! Although FUN, you said many times that Thanksgiving was your FAVORITE holiday, because, except for the excitement of all the presents, it was when the family was most often together and you really enjoyed that most of all. Well, this Thanksgiving your kids were here!! We shared them with their other grandparents, and we were all at our house for Thanksgiving. They all helped the night before preparing food and it reminded me of the times when you were older and would come in from being out and you and I would sit up and talk and listen to music while I cooked and you checked out the food "to make sure it wasn't poisened or something." I told the kids the story about when you were about Saber's age and I was cleaning the turkey and pulled the neck out of its cavity...they sure got a kick out of that! Remember? The weekend after Thanksgiving, we all - both sets of grandparents and your kids - drove over to Bakersfield where we had a b/day party for Dutchie who would be turning 9 the following Wednesday. All of the boys were there and almost all of their families..we started with bowling then went to the pizza place where Brandi had gone with us before for 1 of the cousin's parties. The next day, Dad and I took them to LAX where they flew back home by themselves! First plane ride alone!!! They did great. I had to stay with them until they boarded, then stay in the terminal until the flight left; I sure felt they were well taken care of. It was a wonderful time, and so appropriate because of your love for the holiday!
They were here for a funeral; it was the 1st Catholic funeral they'd been to since yours, and Brandi said it was very emotional for Brina and Saber, especially for Saber. The good news is they now want to take their First Holy Communion, so it looks like your biggest wish and what you were attempting to do for the year before you died might be happening: they're going to Mass every week, went to Midnight Mass tonight, and will be baptised and receive the Sacraments! Are you up there pushing???? Good Daddy!!
Well, my short note is not short, but we both knew it wouldn't be.
Ron came by the hotel and took the kids to breakfast before we took them to LAX - he said it was fun to watch them and see their antics, and how much they really do resemble you!

We'll be having your b/day party on the 9th this year. As far as I know, all the boys and their families, Kim and hers, and Dutch and Corinne plan on being there. Oh, and Justin has re-surfaced! It's so GREAT to have him back in the family! He's at almost every event; he came down and met your kids; he has a little girl who will be 7 on the 9th when we celebrate your day! He plans to be here, but not sure if he will be bringing his daughter, Nicole, as she might be with her mommy. Justin has a really nice girlfriend who has a great relationship with Nicole, tho, and she met your kids, too.
We'll be spending New Years with Uncle Al and Aunt Nancy, but it'll just be Dad and me at home for Christmas; we may visit you later today at the cemetary to say "hi". Remember the 1st Thanksgiving? We packed a turkey dinner and had a picnic with you at your gravesite. People thought we were crazy, but you do what you have to do to get through the pain.

Thanks for all you do, Scott. You are still the greatest inspiration in my life; I still try to live like you are here so that you'd always be proud to say "That's my mom!" Not a day goes (hardly a minute sometimes) that I don't think about you. I still cry - like right now - but it's more for what I think you are missing out on, like being with your kids and really seeing them grow - than it is for me; but like I was told the other day, "maybe he sees them better now, maybe he's getting more joy than you can realize." I'll hold that thought.

I pray that you are at peace, Scott, that you really can be the guardian angel to your precious children and their mom, and that you are alive vicariously through those around them!
(Leo told Brandi a while back when he was cheering for Saber on the basketball court, that he didn't know he could scream that loud, and she said "that's just what Scotty used to do at the swim meets, it almost sounded like him" - I said "It was! He was making Leo scream like that.") MAYBE??? LOL

Merry Christmas, Sweetheart. I was pretty used to not seeing you often, but I really miss not hearing your voice and your unforgettable laugh, or your interpretation of a song or your phone call just to say "I love you, Mom." But God blessed me with 38 1/2 years with you, and you continued that blessing by leaving me with lots of wonderful memories, and 3 beautiful legacies.

Have a beautiful Christmas with Jesus this year. Tell your Grandpas and Grandmas hello, your uncles and aunts, too. Tell Brian and Jeff HI, too. Hope the 3 of you are staying out of trouble...LOL ...I heard Jeff's girls are doing okay as well, this is their 1st Christmas without him; their family is all close by though, which will be helpful!

OK, going home now....

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY 2010.
Join me in all my ventures and travels. I love to have you along!
Thanks for the dollar games, too.

Love and Hugs, Rest in Peace, Precious Son!

Mom

Scotty: A few words your mom sent me brought me here ... I passed your way some time ago, and saw the little toys your kids left for you ... and the balloons too ... you haven't been forgotten ... Tim

http://irishocity.wordpress.com/2008/05/14/smell-the-coffee/

HERE'S TO THE BEE THAT STUNG THE BULL THAT STARTED THE BULL A BUCKIN'.....
I love you Scotty. You have NO idea how much you were loved and how much you are missed!!
LITTLE KING

Hello My Sweet Scotty... I just got sent a link to this...so weird because I had a dream about you last night..was it a dream??? or were you there because it felt really real! Your amazing smile and kind loving words :) It's amazing how your heart never forgets. You have the most amazing parents and your kids are so lucky to have them as grandparents!!! When i got the call about Jeff, you were the first person that popped into my mind...I was standing almost in the same spot in my salon when I received the call about you and hoping and praying it wasn't true about you, I knew that moment it was true about Jeff and on his daughters birthday :( I'm so happy to know you guys are together...OMG...what a thought :) Stay out of trouble and pleasse know how much you are loved and missed~ Until we meet again My sweet sweet friend...xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox Lisa

Dear Scott-

Whew! What another shocker we had earlier this week with the passing of another of your good friends, Jeff Sills! Brandi called me on Sunday to tell me she'd heard the rumor; Lance confirmed it on Monday. Guess God must have a really special project that he's called 2 great Dads with lots of construction experience home! By the sound of the entries in Jeff's Guest Book, he had been in some prayer groups; he told Lance at your funeral that he had recently found The Lord - was he one of your prayer buddies when you died? That'd have been nice, hope so. Michelle and his girls will be comforted knowing he's in God's hands. It's still so sad, just like with you. Anyway, take care, sweetheart! Guess you'll help show Jeff the ropes before you guys get started on "the project". Stay safe, and stay out of trouble! The 2 of you...OMG!! (just kidding)

Today is Ron's b/day The Big 50! Tomorrow Jeff will be 45, and Sunday Kim 39. Ron had a 50 party today, but Dad had a Dr. appt and I had to work, so we couldn't go, altho I really wanted to. Maybe you made a showing???

Take care, again. Gotta run. just wanted to say "HI" really.... love and miss you. Your kids are great.
Brina has a video online..song and fashion. She does a good job and each video is showing more confidence than the previous one. Saber is more and more like you every day; Dutchie has a stigmatism in his eye just like dad. He looks cute in glasses.

OK...now I'll go....love and miss you, still/again!!! LOL...

Forever and ever, Mom

Missing you Scotty, so many great memories of you to look back on in High School :)D Wished I could have reconnected with you before you left us too soon. You will always be in my heart Scotty Fairbanks :) xoxoxo Shannon Ratliff- Evans :)D RIP

Happy Father's Day, Scott! Everyone's going over to Jeff's today - know you will be on everyone's mind and in all of our hearts!!
I'm certain Tambrina, Saber and Dutchie will wish you a Happy Father's Day and call it up to heaven!

Next week is the big one! The true 4th anniversary of your death..the day we all found out! I'll try to make it a celebration of your new life,too, like Father Peter suggested we do when we celebrate a person's life. It's hard, because I'm your mom and I'm supposed to know anout your new life and I don't (except for what I've been taught and believe in because of my faith in God, of course), and I don't like that one bit. But I promise I'll try since that is something I should really do.
Anyway, I think most everyone will be here next week..I'll keep you posted. Gotta run..get to Bakersfield ourselves.

Sure miss you, sweetheart, you know I do...your cousins are the BEST!!! They sure take good care of your dad and me! Actually, Brandi does a good job of it, too.

Love, Mom

Happy Father's Day Scotty!
love Aunt B.B. and Uncle Rick

Happy Father's Day my cuz.

We'll miss you today as always.

I'll have a rainbow roll and pour

you a kirin.

love, ron

Hi Scotty
Thinking of you it just breaks my heart that your not with us but youll always be in our hearts love you happy father day your great dad aunt rosemary

thinking about you and missing you today... and everyday.
Love You,
Gina King

Scott,
I am sure you will not forget to Surprise your mom and drop on in for Mother's Day.
We miss you and love you so very much.
Give Grandma and Grandpa Fairbanks big hugs.
love Aunt B.B. and Uncle Ric, Arroyo Grande,Ca.

Hi Scott,
I am sure you know this but like to tell you any way. Ricky and Krisitn had there Baby and we have are frist grandson.
His name is LUKE and he was born Feb. 16 at 8:44a and he come in at 9 lbs. 4 oz. Big Boy. We are all so very happy that we have a Boy and now he can have the Bacon name go on.
I am sure Grandma and Grandpa will be happy to hear the great news please tell them thanks scott.
Sending big hugs. Don't forget to drop in from time to time I miss that. love aunt Barbara and Uncle Rick, Arroyo Grande,Ca.

Happy Birthday Scott we miss you so very much. Sending out Hugs and kisses to you and Grandma and Grandpa Fairbanks.

Hello Scott
Wow i cant belive its been3 years amost 4 this summers sent you left and that your going be 42 wow i sure do miss you will tell mom and dad we love them too take care and watch over your mom and dad well i talk to you soonlove aunt rose

Hi Scott,
Well give Grandma Fairbanks hug for us she has been gone 5 years now.
I see your going to have a Birthday Celebration 42 wow. Don't forget to drop on by and see some of the family tonight.
I talk to your dad the other dad after they got back from see your kids. They had a Wonderful time with them.
Brandi send us a picture of your kids and on boy they all look like you but Saber looks just like you scott wow. Its a picture of them at the pool. Tembrina is tall and your dad ask if I could see that Dutchie had no teeth I said no can't tell.
Well not long now and we will be having our 3rd Grandbaby and if it is a Boy they will name him Luke. So 5 to 6 more weeks to go.
Well scott Happy New Year and Happy Bithday. We love you and miss you so much think of you all the time.

Hi, it's Mom again - surprise, surprise!

Dad & I just returned this morning on the red-eye from Lihue. We had a wonderful time with your kids! Santa and Squeaky the Elf showed up quite unexpectedly on Christmas morning before we got there to give all of them their gifts from Santa! Just walked right up the street to their house; boy, the neighbor kids were in awe! Brandi thought Santa was Grampie; the boys tried to pull on his beard to see, but it didn't work. Tambrina was pretty skeptical, but not sure enough to deny it either. Brandi and Leo brought them over to the motel that night and we kept them through yesterday. Took the boys to their basketball practice on Saturday, and yes, Saber is becoming quite the STAR! Dutchie has a way to go, but he's only 8 and by far, the youngest on the team. He holds his own really well during the first hour - it's the 2nd hour that he loses the attention. Tambrina is just beautiful and becoming quite the young lady! It's a real pleasure to be around her; she still loves her dolls, but is into the virtual babies on her DS. The boys are great on their DS's too.

We went to the movies on Friday nite - Marley and Me - Brina and I had both read the book. It was a little long for the boys, but they were very good. Dutch talked about you a little bit. On Saturday, we took them to see Bedtime Stories. It was soooo funny! They laughed so much and had a really good time. On Sunday, we went for a ride to the north end of the island, had hamburgers and later, ice cream. Saber talked about you buying them a Sno-Cone maker, and how much fun it was when they'd come in from playing and Brandi would make them one. Then he told me about how funny you'd get when they'd come in and ask you to make one for them - how you'd go through all of your regular exaggerated jestures to make them feel like "special customers in a store" as Sabe said. He was so cute telling me about it. All the hand movements to explain and the expression on his face. God, Scott, he looks just like you! Even his build at 10 1/2 is the same as yours was. I joked with him and told him and Brina and Dutch (who are slender and built like weeds) "you just wait. In about 4 or 5 years, you'll be just like your Daddy and shoot up and have all the girls swarming around you! You'll be a real heart-breaker!" Did they all get a kick out of that!! Brina plays the sax in the school band; they all still swim! Saber denies having a girl friend, but he sure got bashful when I asked him. Brina said Dutchie has one, but he said he didn't. Brina says she doesn't have a boyfriend, either. She's very stylish with her clothes, but knows what her Mom allows and doesn't allow, so was careful in what she bought. I was very proud of her and know you would be, too!

They asked a lot of questions about you this time, and I tried to answer them all, best I could remember. They were all good questions. It was nice. They want to remember you, honey!

Well, kiddo, just wanted to give you the latest update on them and on your upcoming birthday celebration. It'll be this Saturday - come on by. Roadhouse Saturday night - Jordan's home from college - YIPPEE - and will be here, think all of the boys and their families, but not certain. Will know more tomorrow and Wednesday. Uncle Al & Nancy along with your father-in-law and Corinne, are also planning on Roadhouse, as far as I know.
(Uncle Al & Nancy will be here for New Year's Eve as tradition, but guess we're not going to Melodrama this year; Dad doesn't want to. We'll figure out something, tho!)

Sunday will be the Sousa-Fairbanks gift exchange with all the kids, and a brunch very much the same as last year. Gosh, you'd be 42!
Happy Birthday, Son!

Thanks for 'hangin out' with me during my surgery. I'm doing great. Guess you figured that one out since Hawaii was 2 weeks after, huh? Like to think you had a hand in my success and recovery by putting in a good word for me! Thanks! Not ready for me yet, huh? LOL!! I promised Brandi I'd be around to help her with the kids, so I need (and want) to keep that promise, even tho it means not seeing you for awhile.

Love and Miss you, Scott, but then you know that. Catch you at the cemetery this Saturday with lots of balloons and flowers after Mass. Don't be a stranger, okay?!! OKAY!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Love, Mom

Hi, Honey -
Bet you and Brandi's "Pops" had a glorious reunion with your mother-in-law when she joined the two of you earlier this week, huh? I hope it was a nice "homecoming" for her. Brandi wrote a lovely Obituary; the memorial service is this Saturday, but neither Dad nor I will be going. Flowers were sent, though; your kids are in Sac right now visiting their cousins and having a good time!
Help show Sandy the ropes, Son. She thought a lot of you. Toshua called to tell me she had passed away and said "Mom really cared so much for Scott and I know she kept in touch with you and Doug, so I wanted to be sure you knew." I thought that was soooo very nice of him!
We'll be going to see your kids for Christmas, just for a couple of days. Would LOVE to have you join us!!! Saber is becoming quite the Basketball player, I'm hearing. Following in his Daddy's footsteps. Dutchie's catching on pretty good, too! He just turned 8 this week, it's hard to believe! We can't wait to see them.
I miss you so much, Scott, but at least now one of your "2 other moms" are there with you. Have fun soaring with her!
Keep the Light ON for me. Rest in Peace, Son. All is well. I LOVE YOU!
Love and Hugs, Mom

P.S. We're planning your birthday celebration as usual!!!

Hi, Scott - It's Mom, AGAIN!
Well, everyone has left after a great weekend of celebrating and remembering you and your life with each of us.
Since Dad & I started this guest book with the idea that it would stay on for years to come so your children could learn to know you better, who you were, and how much you were thought of by both family and friends, I wanted to recap some of the fun & memorable events of the weekend:
At the cemetery while we waited for everyone to arrive, I had tied 3 bouquets of balloons to the front of Dad's jeep so when the appropriate time came, we could each take on, write on it, and send it up to you. All of a sudden, someone yelled "Oh no" & when I looked up, 1 of the bouquets was floating away. I started to get really upset when Sylvia said "Darn you, Scotty, you just couldn't wait, could you!" and we all started laughing. So I went over to the jeep to make sure the other 2 groups were tied on really, really tight! But Dutch & Corinne hadn't shown up yet, and we knew they were coming, so we waited, & while we waited, another bouquet went up, up & away. Kim said "Ok, Scotty, don't you have enough reading material up there, you have to take the balloons now" and I said, "Kim, we haven't written on them yet, he must not have the time to read all of them!" You did save the last bouquet and let us sign them and send them up 1 by 1. Thanks alot! I told them all about the story on your b/day how Saber's balloon got caught in the tree and I just knew it was going to pop, but somehow, it went thru the tiniest of openings between two branches, and how Sabe started jumping up and down saying "Daddy did catch it, Daddy did catch it!" That was 1 of the tender moments. THen after everyone had left to come back to the house, the Armada wouldn't start. Dad & Dutch & Corinne all tried to figure it out; it didn't appear to be the battery (Dad tried to jump start it for me); nothing worked. Dutch said "Well, he didn't want to wait until all the balloons were signed to get them, now he doesn't want you to leave." That was neat! Then when we decided I needed to call AAA to be towed, bingo...my car started! Thanx, again! AT the house, the BBQ was great! Dad cooked the steaks; Dutch the ribs on the new wood-burning grill & I used the burners for the 1st time for the beans and sauce for the ribs.
Terry offered up a toast to you and how much "we miss you, bro". Ricky & Kristin were there & announced they're expecting # 3. Sydney (age 5) demonstrated to me on the counter how she had jumped off the high dive! (she jumped into the sink to show me..but got permission first). Boy, her Daddy is sure proud of her! Daniel brought his fiance, Sarah, and introduced her and announced his engagement to those who didn't already know.
As night wore on, we were all around the new firepit & all of the boys, their wives & Kim kind of turned to me and addressed the weekend to make sure this wasn't too much for Dad & me & that we were ok with it, that they were kind of concerned we were doing it just for them. I said no, that we loved doing it, loved having the Celebration, altho not the reason for it, of course, but likewise, I never wanted them to feel they needed to do it for dad & me or continue doing it because they'd feel guilty if they didn't. Remember, this whole thing started because they insisted on Dad & me not being alone for your 1st b/day after you had died, (just Ron, Randy & Daniel came over that time), and then especially for the 1st anniversary of your death, they ALL wanted to be with us, and that's how it's been ever since!! Looks like we're all on the same page....already planning for your birthday and next June when the 27th is on a Saturday...
Everyone came over for breakfast buffet this morning, and left awhile ago. Before they left, I thanked them for bringing up the subject of continuing the Celebrations, and they are all so very glad we are going to continue!!!!
It was a great time had by all, with many more to come!
If nothing else happened, or if the Celebration were to never happen again, I know one thing for sure, without a doubt:
Not a day passes that our hearts aren't saddened knowing you are no longer with us, that your life was interrupted before your dreams and goals could be realized and that your children will grow up without your love and guidance, and that your cousin's kids won't get to hear all your ghost stories (that the older ones heard), or your laugh, or your thunderous step that always let everyone know you were entering a room. We all miss you tremendously. We still don't understand why this happened, but we know there was a reason. Our lives have not been the same since.
Rest in peace my dear son and know that you did make a difference in this World.
Until later, take care.
Thanks for the memories!
Love, Mom

Hi, Again -
It's just me, but I wanted to tell you - you have some of THE NEATEST friends and extended family!
Yesterday, I had an email and 2 phone messages from Lesli, your girlfriend in 1988, just wanting to let Dad and me know she was thinking of us on this anniversary and she told me about this website called Memory Bears where I can send in your clothing and they'll make clothes for bears that I can give to your kids (or keep for myself)! Pretty cool!
Then this morning your 2nd cousin, Daniel, called from Canada. He's there visiting with his fiance and meeting her family for the 1st time. He just wanted us to know he was thinking of us on this day. He's leaving tomorrow and will be here Saturday; we get to meet Sarah, his fiance for the 1st time!! Yippee!!
Then Dad called me at work a while ago & said there were flowers from Tim! Your buddy from Hawaii (you were his son's Godfather). WOW is about all I can say. It is so very heartwarming to know what an influence you had on so many people!!!
Everyone will be coming over this weekend, starting tonight, for our Annual Celebration of Your Life.
Keep a watch out for everyone...
Drop in for a visit (hope, hope).
I'll be reading the poem I have read at every one of the Celebrations so far that your cousin Alison sent me from England about "How you are just around the corner for an interval" and that "All is Well".
It's a true comfort!
Love and Miss you!!!!!!!! Forever and ever, then even longer!

See you this weekend!!!
Rest in Peace. All is well!
Love, Mom

Hi, Scott -
Gosh, I can't believe it's been nearly 3 years since I got that tragic call from Brandi; it's something a mother never forgets, for sure! But just as sure, it has been. I wanted to bring you up to speed (like you don't know), of what's been going on, and soon to come. Your Dad has been in Hawaii for 2 weeks visiting with some of your old friends and "just hangin'", I guess. Actually, Aunt Rose met him over there, along with Lisa & Chris, and they stayed for the first week. He checked out Dutch & Corinne's new place, had lunch on their deck and watered for them a couple of times; he tried to visit your old neighbors, Joyce and Sammy, but when he drove into your drive and started up, he had to turn back. He said that beautiful deck you built was just too overwhelming; but it's good to know it's still there & probably being enjoyed by the new owners, huh?
Your cousin, Jeff and his great family came over & stayed with me for a few nights this past week. We sure had a great time; well, I did, and I hope they did. It was fun hearing Jeff reminisce about some of the things you and the boys, especially he and Terry used to do at the house..like the bicycle ramp on a brick in our front yard..Jeff hit it and flipped landing on his face, and you and Terry could only double up laughing! And before Lori & Jeff were married, how she heard from Diane about how cute YOU were. Or how all of you used to jump off their roof into their pool! They're still doing that since Terry & Sylvia have now bought that house! Pretty nifty!! There was more stuff, too. I know you're so proud of Jeff, heck all of them; they're all really great guys and wonderful Dads! It's so great to see all fo them with their families! Speaking of which, on the 'other side of the family', Ricky and Kristin just found out they're expecting #3, another February baby. Are you going to have a hand in that one like you did when Avery was born on my first b/day after you died, remember? Kim's doing good too, in Ventura with Eric's new job, which is great for her!
Let's see, what else of recent: oh yea, Jordan graduated from High School and is going to Arkansas State with an ultimate goal to be an editor. She got a scholarship from the French Club, so will be working on some French classes, too. And of course, you know about Randy getting married! That was such a great time - one of the boys, or I guess it was Aunt Rosemary who said the only one missing was you - but we knew you were there in spirit.
On a closer front, your little girl graduated from 6th grade..can you BELIEVE it??? Going into Middle School next year; Saber'll be going into 5th & Dutchie into 3rd. Boy, they are getting big! We sure miss them, but enjoyed having them and Brandi here so much at Christmas. They're so resilient, like most kids, and I know that's how you'd want them to be!
So, we're starting to plan the annual Celebration of your Life for 2 weeks from today. It'll be the 3rd Anniversary of your death; I know officially you died on the 26th, but that was Hawaiian time. California time it was early morning on the 27th, and that's the morning I got the call. Father Peter talked about the Celebration of Life during the Mass at the Cemetery this month. He reminded us to not only celebrate your life on earth, but to also celebrate your New Life. I often think about your New Life when I'm thinking; sometimes it brings a smile, sometimes a tear.
Speaking of which, I guess you know one of the men you most liked to watch and listen to on TV, Tim Russert, passed away yesterday. In a tribute to him today, one of the commentators said he was probably already up there lining up interviews, and I thought, "Hey, maybe Scott will be able to sit in the audience, then get to say hi to him afterwards". That'd be cool for you!

I'm picking dad up at the airport tonight at midnight, then off to Father's Day tomorrow at Ron's; where the outdoor BBQ idea got started 3 years ago when you told Dad we should build one in our yard so we could have celebrations! So, here we go again. Full circle. Be sure to show up!!!! I think Jerilynn and Brian will be there this year, as well as Ricky & Kristin, along with all the "regulars". That means at least 4 more balloons, so be ready to catch them and fly away with them so the new ones can see how you work!!! Maybe you can have some help from your grandparents - or maybe they'll just direct you. Remember to listen, too!
Well, I'll go now.
Love and miss you, and like I tell your kids in my emails to them, "bunches and bunches, then even more, forever and ever."

Tell your Grandmas and Grandpas, Aunts and Uncles "hi" from us, when you're not too busy.

Catch you later, Sweetheart. Stay safe. Rest in peace, all's well!
Remember to keep the light on for me.
Love, Mom

Scotty,
Your uncle rick is at it again getting a new car.
He got me a new 2008 335i BMW I was so surprise that he want to get a new car for me.
Say hi to Grandma Fairbanks Grandpa Fairbanks Thanks...
So drop in any time scotty and take a look.
Sending lots of big Hug's and kisses.

Hello Scotty,

I just now got the information about the guest book today so I am writing to you I really miss you alot and think of you often, I wish we would have been closer as adults but glad I lived close at grandma fairbanks house when I did we did have some fun once in awhile I hope you feel comfortable enough to come visit me because I know that grandma visits my house often and you are always welcome I love you and will always miss you. Love always your cousin Lisa Pegueros, James Pegueros Chris Casem

Hi scotty
Well its been awhile but there not day that go by that i dont think of you and your kids well i just down to san luis obispo stay with mom & dad wow there looking great there both loss a lot of weight and house looking great wow your dads back yard and new barq he like kid with new toy and his new jeep is big and pretty will in may i going back to kona i taking chris and lisa and your dad coming will he s going day before us miss ya so much it just not right god call you home far to soon . Aunt Rose

HI SCOTTY,
I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF YOU ALL DAY TODAY. WE MISS YOU SO MUCH.
I AM SURE YOU HAVE SEEN YOUR DAD'S NEW JEEP. HE IS HAVING LOTS OF FUN WITH IT.
YOUR DAD HAS DONE ALOT TO THE YARDS LOOKS GREAT AND THE NEW KITCHEN IN THE BACK. I AM TELLING YOU SCOTTY YOU NEED TO DORP IN SOMETIME AND TAKE A LOOK AT ALL THEY HAVE DONE.
YOU KNOW RICKY HAS TWO LITTLE GIRLS SYDNEY AND AVERY. I LOVE THEM TO THE MOON AND BACK.
THEY CALL YOUR UNCLE RICK PAPA CHOO-CHOO.
RICKY AND I WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE GOOD OLD DAYS WHEN YOU COME OVER TO ONE OF HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY'S AND ALL OF HIS FRIENDS LOOKED UP TO YOU AND THOUGHT YOU WERE GREAT.
GIVE GRANDPA AND GRANDMA FAIRBANKS BUT HUGS FOR US. THANKS
LOVE YOU SCOTTY.

Hi, Scott,
Guess it's about time I sat down to write a few lines instead of just talking to you, huh?

It was sure great having Brandi and your precious children here for Christmas and your birthday! Sitting in the living room with that almost "larger-than-life" picture of you above the fireplace made it seem like you were really here just watching us. Maybe you were! Your birthday was so much fun, too, with all your Sousa cousins and their families here, along with Brandi's Dad & Corinne and Uncle Al & Nancy!

We all know how important it was that your kids got to know their cousins. I am so very thankful that you and the boys, Kim too, were so close - brother like. (the bad - and sad - part about it is that they were all so crushed when you died and I know they still think of you and miss you tremendously). I am so blessed that they seem to feel the same way that you always did, wanting to have their families and yours get together whenever possible and just have a great, fun, laughing, joking, reminiscing, time! It's heartwarming that they all insist on coming over to celebrate your life, and it's so fun to see their kids and yours together. I know you approve, and then some!

Well, Scott, it's late and I should go, but before I do, I really want to tell you what I did earlier today, February 4, 2008! I took a deep breath and gave myself a birthday present for my 60th! I got up the courage this afternoon to listen to your message on my voicemail. Remember, you left it for me 3 years ago today when you & the kids called to wish me a Happy Birthday and leave wonderful messages, but I hadn't gotten to the office yet. I had only listened to it one time since you died, but I always remembered it was there - it was kindof my little secret that I knew I could just listen to whenever - but I couldn't bring myself to do it! But today I did! It was my birthday gift to myself - to hear my son wish me a Happy Birthday and tell me to "go have a nice lunch with a glass of wine". I didn't do either, not today anyway, but next time I do, I will raise my glass and give a toast to you and thank you for giving me such wonderful memories!

Well, I guess I'll go for now. Take care, Sweetheart! You must know how much I miss you - how much we all miss you! Keep watching over your kids, and keep helping Grandpa and Grandma Sousa stay up-to-date with all their great-grandchildren. They have 17; Grandma only knew 3 and found out about the 4th one being on its way the night before she died. Grandpa didn't know any of them; he must be in awe! For that matter, Grandpa and Grandpa Fairbanks have 5, so I guess you better help them keep them straight, too. Of course Grandma knew all of yours and Ricky's firstborn, but Grandpa didn't know any of them. Poor Grandpas didn't get to go to any of their grandchildren's weddings - well not physically, anyway. We know they were there watching, even though they couldn't be seen.

Jeff says thinking about you and Grandpa "keeping the pool table warm" is what helps him get through some of the tough times. Pretty cool, huh?

Hey, how 'bout Dad's new jeep? And the outdoor kitchen? Then my silly red washer and dryer that your wife convinced me I needed! Bet you saw that one coming, huh? Silly boy!! Huh? Guess it should be "Silly me!"

OK, Scott. I'm going to go this time. Bakersfield tomorrow, you know!

We love and miss you more than you will ever know; it never gets better, it's supposed to get easier, but I'm not so sure. I know it's the way it is, though, so I go on, but please, please know you're always with me in spirit and in heart! OK? OK!

Love you bunches and bunches, then even more - Take care!

Love 'n Hugs Forever,(and I've sure been hugging the air alot lately, have you noticed?)

Mom

I SEND YOU A NOTE BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT WENT, I WILL TRY AGAIN.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCOTTY! YOU DO KNOW WHEN TO STOP THE RAIN BECAUSE ALL YOUR SOUSA COUSINS WILL BE COMING OVER TO PUT ON YOUR CELEBRATION FOR YOU.
UNCLE RICK AND I WENT OVER TO SEE YOUR KIDS. THERE ALL SO GOOD LOOKING THEY TAKE AFTER THERE DADDY. THEY ALL HAVE GREAT SMILES.
I DO HOPE YOU DROP IN AT YOUR MOM AND DADS HOUSE TODAY. YOUR MOM WOULD LOVE THAT SCOTTY.
GIVE GRANDMA GRANDPA FAIRBANKS HUGS FOR US.

HI SCOTTY,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCOTTY! YOU KNOW WHEN THERE IS A CELEBRATION GOING ON FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU MAKE THE RAIN STOP.
YES,YOUR SOUSA COUSINS OUR HAVING A BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION FOR YOU THIS WEEK-END AND I'M SURE YOU WILL DROP IN. THE FAMILY WOULD LOVE THAT.
UNCLE RICK AND I WENT OVER TO YOUR MOM AND DAD'S TO SEE YOUR KIDS AND THEY ALL LOOK GREAT.
WE MISS YOU AND YOUR SMILE SO MUCH TELL GRANDMA FAIRBANKS AND GRANDPA FAIRBANKS WE SAID HI.

Hi Scott
Well you're about to have another birthday celebration. I want you to know that I will be thinking of you,and I will always hold a special place in my heart for you.I think of you often and miss your phone calls and your beautiful smile. Love Always Dy

Hey Scotty,
I am sure you have seen your uncle Ricks new car the new Shelby GT and with your beautiful Smile saying WOW you love your cars.
I know Uncle Rick miss talking with you about his cars.
You should come give us a Visit. Uncle Rick and I think you droped in the other night for a visit you where in the Kitchen with us turning on our kitchen fan. I would turn it down and then it would go back up.
So I said to your uncle rick scotty is with us.
Like I said B-4 I will see you soon. I mean I will not see you, you will give us a visit and don't forget the rest of the family.
Thanks scotty it means alot to us.
Love Aunt B.B. and Uncle Rick

Hey Scotty,
I'v been thinking alot about you , I really miss you like all of us do.
I went over to your mom and dad's lastnight and boy it was cold out only 42. Anywho I drop off some Christmas gifts for your kids.
Sorry I can't tell you what all the gifts our but I am sure you know what they are.
I could not belive my eyes when I saw your MOM and DAd all the Wt. they have lost!
They look so good Scotty and you need to take a Visit and see.
You always are welcome you will make your Mom and Dad Smile just knowing your there that gives them a great feeling.
I always feel your visits. I know I will feel your visit when Uncle Rick and I our going down to Rickys and we will be staying at the Mission Inn in Riverside,Ca. Yes thats where you and your family mom and dad stayed so I will be thinking of you why we are there.
People might think your aunt is nuts writing all this but if they have never had a visit from you they are missing out on a Good thing.
We love you Scotty give give Grandma Grandpa Fairbanks big Hugs for us.
Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! See ya soon love Aunt B.B. and Uncle Rick said high five!

Hey Scotty,

It's me, your cousin Kim. Sorry I have not written in your book yet, but I just recently got a computer. It is hard to believe it has been over two years since you've been gone. Your are in our thoughts all the time and there are times when I am driving in the car and I here a song on the radio that reminds me of you. In my mind I know that is your way of saying hello, so I say "hi" back. It makes me happy to know that so many people have written nice things about you that I already knew. Your kids will be very proud when they are old enough to understand the impact you had on so many people. I feel that I am one of the lucky ones because you are my cousin. I am sure you know that Eric and I had a son. I found it comforting to name him Bryce Jacob-Scott Perkins in memory of you. Keep watching over us and Ill see you soon.

Love Always

Kim, Eric, John, and Bryce

I had a dream last night and Scott was there. It was here, in Cayucos, on the beach. He was laying out in the sun, tanned and smiling. He looked up at me as I approached him and he said "Hey" and just broke into his full Scotty laugh, we all know the one- where it sort of tapers at the end- and I just laughed with him. It was so good to see you again Scott, and to laugh with you, and to feel your spirit, so perfect and true. I miss you.

Hey Scotty,
Just thinking about you a lot today. I really, really miss you, Scotty. Sometimes it just hurts so much..I want you here and I'm angry that your not. I love you. gina

Hey Scotty,
I was just thinking about you today, (as I do everyday) yet for some reason your really on my mind heavy today. I cry a lot when looking back at all the good times we shared....for so many years! You helped me through so many hard times (Lord knows I've had my share! lol) It's so hard now without having you to talk to. I always try and wonder what your advice would be and I listen to the inner voice in my head, yet it's just not the same as having your voice say encouraging words of advice. I miss you so much. When I'm at your parents house cleaning, I sometimes just go in the living room and stare at your picture above the fireplace. I like being there. I could'nt go over there for a long time, but once I did, it is just so comforting. I can feel your warmth in the house. Being around your parents is wonderful. We joke about you a lot. Your dad found a boat that he wants and says, "hey Gina, you wanna see what Scott wants me to have?" I responded with, "you know what Scotty told ME he wants", they said "what"? and I said, "he told me that he wants you guys to take care of me for the rest of my life"! We all had a big laugh with that one. I really just want to become closer to the both of them, as it makes me feel closer to you. I never really knew what amazing people they are. I wish it was'nt under these circumstances that Im getting a chance to know them. I know it makes you happy that we are becoming close. We keep your memory alive, together. You are just so missed. I just want to hear your voice and laugh again. I want you here. I sit here writing this with tears rolling down my face, the pain of loosing you is sometimes unbearable to me. You were the best friend I ever had and it's just not the same without you. I think about the summer you were here helping with your parents remodel. I was so lucky to have all that time with you. We were together everyday and those are memories I will forever cherish. You never got to be my made of honor like we had planned....but you are a man I will honor, FOREVER.
I love you, Scotty. Forever in my heart. Gina

Hi uncle Scott,
well had lots of fun with you and the kids well we all miss you alot.wish you where here so i could see the kids!when ever i think about you i cry!when you where here we would always have fun at the beach and at the park playing with sam..camping at kiholo was the best time me and the kids had.well we all miss you soo much
me ke aloha pumehana
your friends
and family
the cawthon
Ohana
we love you
lily cawthon

Hi Sweetie,
Just wanted to let you know your Hawaii girls got together yesterday too (Jessi, Joey & myself) and raised a few for you at Jessi's new "pub". I reprinted the infamous "Hoe Down Night" picture when you guys were all up here at our house rocking out to the blasting stereo playing your air-guitar broom handles, mop & vacuum cleaner handle. Priceless!! You know which picture, I sent it to your Mom too - it's my favorite of you because you looked so playful, peaceful (slightly drunk) and in the company of your Hawaii "boys"...and Cheryl and me too! Anyway, I keep your Mom updated on things going on with Matt & I. (I borrow her as my Mom from time to time). I know you don't mind because you used to always say how her and I were alike in so many ways - except that she is so very incredibly strong. I used to think I was strong after losing my Mom - but no - Pat wins hands down! Hey, on a lighter note, Matt got a Mohawk yesterday. It looks great. Since he is part Blackfoot Indian, he's got the thick black hair for it. He says he still talks to you (and you laugh back at him) while he's stuck in the Kona traffic. You do keep busy, gotta give you that. I've had a couple of great dreams over the last few months and you're always laughing & goofing around. We all appreciate your visits more than you'll ever know. I look at your picture every day (it's right here on the computer monitor) and your Christmas ornamant that your Mom sent hangs from my rear-view mirror. I know you're around when it just starts swinging back & forth or just spins & spins. Anyway, as usual I'm just rambling - I'll let you go, I know you're busy. Infamous Scotty..."Gotta go, gotta go" - even when you had just got there!!! Well babe, love you so much, miss you even more ---see you in my dreams - Love Laura

Scott,
That was so great what you did for your mom in Santa Barbara. Your Dad told me all about it. Our friend called and ask me what happen to pat in santa Barbara so I told her to. She said that is so great to get a gift like that.
Keep up the great work scott.
This week-End your Cousins are going to have your 2nd Annual Celebration of your life at your mom and dad's house with a big B.B.Q. Hope you stop in.
We did'nt get to go to the 1st. Celebration of your life. We were in Riverside at your other Cousins house (Ricky's)
Ricky wish he could come up but can't do it this year.
His family is doing great. He has two little girls now Sydney and Avery and Avery was born on your moms Birthday how great is that.
Scott give Grandpa and Grandma Fairbanks lots of Hugs for us.
Now dont forget to stop in on Sat. we love you and miss you so much.
Oh your uncle got his new car and I'm sure you can see it scott. Its a Shelby G.T. Uncle rick will take you for a ride just hop in.

Hi, Scott -
Thanks for the playful visit today in Santa Barbara! You sure had me going for a few minutes, you Stinker! It made me smile knowing you were there, but then it made me cry, knowing your were there! Hope you had FUN! I like knowing you're around! It's a WONDERFUL feeling! Keep up the good work! Thanks, again, hope to "see" you again soon! Lots of Hugs, Mom
P.S. "I hope you dance!"

Hi, Scott - It's been awhile since I've written to you in here, but I've sent you lots of other messages, huh? I know you know!

Yesterday was Father's Day. Dad & I spent it in Bakersfield, actually Saturday evening & yesterday. I went to Madison's Baptism yesterday morning; it was very special, she's 8 now. Megan and Jordan were there as Sponsors with her Dad and Mom. I sat with Uncle Al & Aunt Nancy. Then later yesterday we went over to Ron & Teresa's for Father's Day. Remember 2 years ago? We were there and we called you to wish you a Happy Father's Day! You got to talk to Ron, Randy, Gina, Mandi and Jordan, Uncle Al, and of course, Dad. The next Sunday, late that night, you died. Of course Dad & I had talked to you since Father's Day, but yesterday we remembered how for the rest of them, it was the last time they had spoken to you! It was a bittersweet memory. The food was good, tho. Teresa makes a MEAN BBQ!!!

You'd be SO proud of that God-Daughter of yours! She's on her way to BC! She plans to stay there for 2 years, enrolled in Gen. Ed, then transfer to a 4 year course in Cal State to become a nurse. Right now, Pediatric Nurse, but that part's subject to change. Not the nurse part, tho. She's paying for it all herself so she'll "appreciate it more". Sounds like she's got her head on straight, huh? And then there's Jordan. She'll be a Senior in high school next year, but she's leaving this coming weekend for a 3-week writing camp in Pennsylvania. Going all by herself. She wants to get into journalism and hopes that the camp will help her make some decisions on what direction she wants to go. Know you're having a good time watching over them, and keeping Grandpa and Grandma Sousa straight with the Who's Who of their Grandchildren! Keep up the good work!

Boy, this 2nd anniversary is coming up fast, and it's tough! I find I still cry alot, mostly when no one is around, but sometimes I have to just get up and leave the room, 'cuz I start to tear-up without even knowing I'm going to. Sorry. The car is a good place tho. No one is there. Know you know that, too. You get some of my messages from there, too, huh? Dad's been good. If I'm gone longer than usual, he doesn't say anything. Guess he knows. He probably sees it in my eyes. Maybe. Somethings are better left unsaid, I guess.

One of my sorority sister's daughter passed away a couple of months ago. I called her & we talked for awhile. Later, several girls told me she had told them my call was the best thing that happened. It made me feel good. I sent her a message in her daughter's Guest Book (like this one), and then decided to sponsor the Book for her for a year so she would have it. Her daughter left 3 children, too. Two teenage daughters, and an 8 year old son. It's not supposed to happen this way. Parents aren't supposed to lose their children, and young children aren't supposed to lose their mommys and their daddys. I guess you have the priviledge of knowing more about God's Master Plan now than I do, and I know I have to have faith that that is what this is all about, but sometimes it is very difficult. But I do have faith, and I know it will be alright. It's not easy, and it will NEVER be better, but it will be OK. I promise, OK? So don't worry.

So, the Sousa boys wanted to be sure we were going to have the 2nd annual Celebration of your life again this year, so it'll be on the 30th of this month. Much like last year. Most everyone from Bakersfield is planning to be here (Ron, Jordan & Madison were here last weekend, cuz Jordan will be in PA), but I think everyone else will be. I haven't heard from Aunt Rose or Kim, but everyone else. Uncle Al & Aunt Nancy will be here a few days early, Dutch and Corinne, Aunt Barb & Uncle Rick, Mike & Sally, maybe a few more. Not sure about everything yet. Probably like last year when most everything was impromptu, but for sure we'll do the balloons again, so be sure you have LOTS of energy, 'cuz there'll be more balloons than last year for you to catch. And, like last year, you may have to let 1 or 2 of the kids know that you are giving theirs that Extra Special Attention! So I'm just giving you a "Head's Up", be ready for us! After that, which will take place at your gravesite, we'll head back to our house for a BBQ and more memories. Which brings me back to the beginning. Remember 2 years ago Father's Day when we called you from Ron's and told you about his new Outdoor Kitchen and how COOL it was? Remember you told Dad that we should get one for our backyard? Remember, you said, "Then when we all come home, we can have big Bar-B-Q's and have all the Sousa's over, and Dutch & Corinne, and all the other relatives. It'd be so much fun, Dad." Well, Guess What? We did! Rather, we Are! It's not finished, but the 1st phase is supposed to be done by the 30th, so on that day, we're going to "christen" that part of it in your memory. It's the refer & the "preparation island." The 2nd phase is the actual B-B-Q Grill and Burner. The entire project is in your Memory, but it's mainly because of Aunt Adele, and partially because of Uncle Gordy and Aunt Genevieve that we're able to do it, so we're doing to dedicate the B-B-Q side with a plaque or something on the countertop in their memories when the whole thing is finished. We thought that would be nice. Sure you approve.

Well, honey, as in your life, whenever I'd "Drop you a quick note" this "quick note" has become a manuscript, but I wanted to remind you about Father's Day 2 years ago, tell you about what's happening because of it, bring you up-do-date with your God-Daughter and next-in-line cousin, and generally, just say "hi".

Brandi and your kids are doing good, and I know you're watching over them. They know it too. They all miss you so much, just like me. I was thinking the other day driving into San Luis about how I used to call you for no reason except just to hear your voice and you'd say, "What's wrong, Mom, are you OK? and I'd say, Yea, I'm fine, I just wanted to say "HI", and now that I've heard your voice and said "HI", I'll let you get back to work, call me when you can, love you, give everyone hugs, bye", and I'd hang up hearing you laughing in the background; you used to call me when you were having a tough day, or were a little blue, and after we'd talk for a couple of minutes you'd say that you'd called me because I "could always put a smile on your face and make you laugh and make you feel like you could conquer the world." I miss those calls Scott. A lot. I miss hearing your voice. Thank God I kept the "Happy Birthday" message you left me on my voice mail at work. I listen to it every once in awhile. See, just like that, one more reason I don't believe in coincidences any more. There's a reason I saved that message from the first part of February and you died in late June. So I'd always have a part of you when I needed to hear your voice. I miss your laugh. That big, strong, fill-the-room infectious, laugh! I miss your poems, your silly jokes, your crazy rhymes! The games you played with the kids.
I miss hearing you say "I Love You, Mom". I miss not being a Mom. But I love being Grammie! Thank you for that! 3 times Grammie!

OK, so this time I AM going to go.
Take care. Remember to say your prayers and to keep watch over those 3 precious keiki of yours and help God and Grandpa and Grandma Sousa keep them and all the Sousa cousins from harms way.
Have fun. Be sure to get Grandma and Grandpa together on the 30th to enjoy the celebration, 'cuz we'll all be at their grave site too, with flowers and balloons.
Please know I love you, now and forever, and above all else, son,
REST IN PEACE.

Love, Mom

Hi Scotty,
I can't believe it's been almost two years you have been gone. But I am sure you have brighten heaven with your beautiful Smiles and big hugs.
Thanks for droping in from time to time. Your welcome anytime scotty.
Give grandma Fairbanks big hugs. Happy Father's Day!

Hi Scott
Seven years ago Randy,Gina,Mandi,Daniel and I flew to Hawaii to spend a week with you and your family. It was a vacation we will never forget.I remember how impressed I was with your parenting skills, you were so
positive and loving toward your children. Dutch wasn't born yet, but I remember thinking how lucky your children are to have a dad
like you. Happy Fathers Day Scott