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Elizabeth Kilian Obituary
Our dear Elizabeth Scott Kilian of Vista, California, died unexpectedly on November 4, 2007. Elizabeth, known as "Scottie" by family and friends, was born to James and Elizabeth Hendry on September 17, 1946 in Shreveport, Louisiana. She graduated from Carlsbad High School in 1964 and then achieved her Bachelors at Chico State. Scottie received her Masters in Social Work from Louisiana State University in 1971. Scottie worked for both Child Protective Services and Adoptions at the Department of Social Services for the County of San Diego until she retired in May of 2004. Scottie was married to the love of her life on August 20, 1971. She and her husband Richard were then blessed with two children, Caroline in 1980 and Alexis in 1984. It is entirely too difficult to describe the loss of this beautiful wife and mother. She will be dearly missed, especially by Richard, Caroline, and Alexis. Scottie was known for her vibrant nature, her absolute love of life, her kindness, her unwavering devotion to her family and children, and her generosity with her friends. Scottie adored animals and was passionate about animal rescue, especially helping dogs find homes. Her devotion to saving animals encompassed her time ever since retirement. Scottie volunteered daily at the Oceanside and Rancho Coastal Humane Society, Oceanside Animal Control, Tucson Humane Society and the Pima Animal Control Center. Scottie was also dedicated to her volunteering with children at Casa de los Ninos in Tucson, Arizona. Scottie is survived by her husband of 36 years, Dr. Richard J. Kilian, their daughters, Caroline Ashley Kilian-Schuh and Alexis Brittany Kilian, her son-in-law, Tom Schuh; her mother Elizabeth "Lib" Stevens, her brother, James Hendry and other relatives. Scottie is also survived by her poodles, Mo and Ty. Scottie was predeceased by her father James Hendry in 1993 and her sisters, Robin Cowen in 1985 and Dixie Dee Hawks in 2007. Scottie's life will be celebrated December 1, 2007 at 10:00 a.m. at North Coast Church, 1132 N. Melrose Dr., Vista, California. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to The Oceanside or Rancho Coastal Humane Society. Please sign the guest book at obituaries.uniontrib.com
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Memories and Condolences
for Elizabeth Kilian
Sponsored by Caroline Kilian & Tom Schuh.
Carlene Mackay
November 5, 2009
Dear Scotty, I am thinking about you so profoundly, at this time again. My dear brother Gary, only sibling, passed away one year ago, on November 4, 2008. Just about the same time, 2 years ago, that you left us. In the end he had serious edema, just as you did. This never took away your beauty, or his handsomeness, as you were both so beautiful inside. I keep both of you in my constant thoughts and fond memories. There are only a few, who make a strong impact on our lives, and that is a wonderful "gift".
Caroline Kilian
November 4, 2009
Dear Mom,
How has it been two years without you? I miss you so very much. Everything reminds me of you...sometimes it is hard to believe you just aren't really here anymore. I hate that! You are the best and I am just so very thankful to have had you as my Mom and my friend. I love you with all of my heart...
Jan Houts
September 18, 2009
Dear Caroline and Alexis--I miss your mother most at her birthday because we used to celebrate together. Mine is two days before hers. Just yesterday, I happened to be in North County where we shopped and ate lunch together and then I realized why I missed her so much--it would have been her birthday. She is still in my heart, as she is in John's. Love, Jan Houts
Caroline Kilian
September 17, 2009
Happy Birthday to the world's most wonderful and beautiful Mom! This day will be celebrated in your honor! The world (and your family most especially) lost you far far too early! I miss you so very much. I love you with all of my heart and am so thankful to have had you as my Mom and my friend.
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Carlene Mackay
August 31, 2009
Scotty, I still keep you in my thoughts and my heart. I am forever grateful to you, for sharing your beautiful friendship with me, and although it was so brief, it did become one of the most relevant. Thank you for being one of my "angels".
Caroline Kilian
May 10, 2009
Dearest Mom,
Happy Mother's Day to the greatest Mom ever....I miss you so very much. I wish you were here more than anything! I am sending a big bear hug to you up in Heaven. Thanks for everything Mom! I love you so much, Care
Carlene Mackay
March 12, 2009
Dear Lexi and Caroline, You were both so very fortunate to have a mother like Scotty. I only got to know her for a short time, and i am amazed at how often she comes into my thoughts. Scotty was so open and wise, and I feel that I got to know her (in that short time) much better then her sister Dixie, who was one of my best friends. She openly shared her thoughts and observations, so candid and aware. Scotty was a beautiful, gracious and extrodinary human being. I feel so fortunate to have known her for the minimum time that I did. She was a "gift" and an inspiration. Cherish your "gift".
Alexis Kilian
March 11, 2009
My dearest Momma....
Words can't describe how much I miss you. Everyday I miss you, but mostly recently. I have a regular customer that looks just like you. I love you so much and miss you more and more as the days pass and I have to go on without a daily hug and kiss from you. You are my angel and I feel you everywhere I go, I hope I make you proud. Love your baby Lex
Victor Bonilla
March 11, 2009
Scottie was one of my best friends when I went to high school at Army and Navy Academy in Carlsbad and though my life as a diplomat took me far away these many years when I lost contact with her, I always hoped to see her again some day and relive fondest memories. So as I was preparing for a future HS class reunion, I looked up her name and was completely overcome with pain and sadness after coming across this column in the Union.
Scottie, your pictures show you as a mature woman, ever more beautiful and radiant and blessed with loving and handsome children. The testimonies only confrim what I already knew, that my life was indeed made better and more trusting after knowing you those many years ago. My prayers for your soul and the deepest sympathies go to your family, for I have but an inkling of the loss it means. You live on in my mind and prayers, always.
Caroline Kilian
January 22, 2009
Hi Mom,
I can't tell you how hard these past couple of months have been for me without you. I suppose because I am traveling around interviewing for residency. Wish you were here to accompany me and to tell me your opinion. I miss you so much. I absolutely hate it that you are really gone. I still feel like it can't be true. I would give anything to have you back. I love you so so much.
Alexis Kilian
September 18, 2008
Momma,
Words can't describe how much I miss you. Yesterday I had a candle lit in your honor because it was your birthday. I wish I could have spent it with you like we have so many of your birthdays. My heart is forever broken with out you. I can't believe its been 10 and a half months since you were taken from us. Sometimes the pain is unbearable to actually think about my life forever without you. I get jealous of girls who have there moms and are best friends with them like it should still be for us. I love you with all of my heart and I hope I am making you proud up in Heaven. Forever your baby Lex
Caroline Kilian
September 16, 2008
Dear Mom,
Tomorrow is your birthday. I can't really believe you aren't here, yet the pain I feel realizing that you are gone is unbearable. I miss you so very much. I long to talk with you ... about anything and everything. I hate it that you were taken so suddenly and that I didn't get the chance to say goodbye. I try so hard to be strong every day and to make you proud of me, but all I really want is to have you back. I love you so much. I wish you a happy birthday up there in Heaven.
Caroline Kilian
July 4, 2008
Hi Mom,
Today is the 4th of July and also 8 months since God took you from this world. I think I will always have trouble understanding that you are really up in Heaven and not here on Earth with us anymore. I can see you in so many places I go & I wish so desperately that you were here with me right now. I love you so much. You would really enjoy the monsoon season we're having already...it has been really beautiful. And all the puppies are doing well. We all miss you though!! Anyway Momma, I am doing okay...I can feel you with me. I am so thankful for that! Happy 4th! See you in my dreams I hope. Love always, your firstborn.
Caroline Kilian
May 11, 2008
Happy Mother's Day to the best Mom in the whole wide world! I would give anything to have you back...I love you so much. Yours always.
Caroline Kilian
May 4, 2008
Dearest Mom,
It has been six months today that you left this world. I still don't want to believe that you are gone. I think of how different life would have been this year with you here. Telling you my stories of delivering babies and us rescuing stray dogs together. I miss you so very much and I wish you were here. I still don't understand it and I don't think it is fair at all. I want you back...I want to see your beautiful face in person and throw my arms around you again. I want life as it once was... But the Lord had another plan for you and I have to accept that...somehow. I just want you to know how much I LOVE YOU.
Your little girl. Caroline
Lexi Kilian
May 4, 2008
My dear beautiful Mommy,
Today it has been 6 months since the Lord took you from us, also today is Gramma's 86th birthday. I miss you with every beat in my heart, my heart aches without you. Thankyou Mom for 23 yrs of your beauty, for being the best MOM I could ever ask for. I love you with all of my heart. I miss you so much. My heart is forever broken without you.
Carlene Mackay
March 24, 2008
Dear Scottie, I have you in my thoughts on practically, a daily basis. Our short but meaningful friendship touched me so very deeply. You were such an inspiration to me. I always only wish that we had the time to continue our friendship. I do love you, and I keep you in my heart.
Caroline Kilian
March 23, 2008
Good morning Mommy, happy Easter! We are having a glorious day here today...just getting ready to serve the pork roast Tom prepared. I only wish you could be here...I miss you so. No beautifully decorated and filled with chocolate Easter baskets this year....you were amazing Mom. I miss everything about you and I love you so very much. Take care up there. Your Caroline
Caroline Kilian
February 14, 2008
Hi Mommy,
Happy Valentine's day! I miss you so very much. I am almost finished with the surgery rotation and I have my shelf exam tomorrow...I know you will be with me when I take it! I feel you with me always, but I just wish you were really here. I still have a hard time believing that you are gone... Anyway, just wanted to say hi and wish you a happy day. I love you...you are the greatest.
Caroline Kilian
January 19, 2008
Hi Mom. I miss you so much. I still have an incredibly hard time believing that you are no longer with us. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that you should walk in the door or that you will be calling me. I don't think I will ever understand why you were taken from us when we all need you so very much. I am trying to be strong so that I can help Daddy, but this just isn't fair. I want you back! Mommy, I love you with all my heart...you are my inspiration and my strength.
Katrina Kilian
December 25, 2007
MERRY CHRISTMAS SCOTTIE-POO!
You are missed terribly this favorite season of yours. You must be hovering close as so many times on a daily basis your name and thoughts come to our minds and hearts. Please instill in Rich and your two young incredible daughters your healthy spirit and let them know you are watching over them (and Ty as he misses you terribly)as they endeavor to move forward as you would want them to. Your sudden and tragic death so poingnantly reminds us just how misguided are the "best laid plans of mice and men". Your death was truly a statement of just how little time there is to live. So Angel Scottie be with us all this very night and as we move into 2008. We do believe that somehow you are able to read these messages as so much was left unsaid. Love, Katrina
Me with my beautiful Mom
Caroline Kilian
December 23, 2007
Hi Mom,
I am the luckiest daughter in the world to have had you as my Mom and best friend. Not a day goes by when I marvel at how wonderful you were in so many ways. There is really just no comparison. I miss you so very much. I feel you with me everyday and that gives me the strength to go on & to attempt to enjoy this holiday season (YOUR season). I know you wouldn't want me to mope around and that is what I am doing. Mom you ARE the sun that lights up my life. I love you so very much.
Jan Brick
December 16, 2007
Scottie, how lucky were we to have shared some part of your life with you!! You gave more than you took and loved more than you expected anyone to give back. Just came so natural for you, what a blessing you are to all of us who have known you and loved you. You will always be alive in our hearts and we will always talk to you and still ask for your advise and listen to you! Even though our hearts are so broken now, you will always be here to mend us and keep us on track. We in turn will always love you for who you are and hold you in our hearts to call on whenever we need you. Thanks Scottie and your wonderful family for just being part of you. Love, your bud, Jan
Jennifer Barrera
December 16, 2007
I met Mrs. Kilian only once at the World's Swim Meet at Stanford last year. It was so clear to me how much Caroline (as well as Alexis) meant to her. It was very important for her to met Caroline's friends. Our interaction was brief but her genuine love for people was evident. She held Wesley, my son whom at the time was 5 months-- he was so comfortable in her arms & she, of course was a natural.
Caroline, Alexis & Richard --my heart goes out to you. What an amazing women,mother, wife & pilar in the community.
Beverly Greenhow
December 16, 2007
Scottie, I never knew how much I loved you until I knew you'd no longer be able to be with me. Whenever I'm at the Pound you are so much in my thoughts/heart, and whenever I see the Clinic there, I'm reminded of the wonders you worked there each week. And, my remaining dog is a constant reminder of how much you gave her (and the other dog, Gypsy, who sadly had to be euthanized). The toys, water bowls, bed-blanket, are all from you. The happy memories of your involvement here are so touching. Scottie, I will repeat what one of your other friends so accurately said, "heaven is a better place for having you there." Love, Beverly
Marci Kilian
December 15, 2007
Your darling daughters, Caroline & Alexis, and wonderful husband Richard have lost a precious light that was brilliant, loving and inclusive. Because we thought of you so often, just in passing ~ as part of the conversation ~ because you were such a substantial part of this huge family, nearly on a daily basis, it hurts to know you can't speak back with earthly tones. We feel your spirit and your love eminates through those you left behind ~ two beautiful women who do you proud daily ~ they sparkle and shine, partly as a reflection of your care of them. And your darlin' Rich, our brother & friend, the days will become easier ~ but, never never the same ~ hug him and love them and help them move forward in life as you did when your sisters moved into heaven before you. Life isn't easy & it is so fleeting ~ never before did I realize quite how fleeting it was, until you were gone. We love you and miss your laughter & smiles & especially your stories & your words ~ you were never at a loss for words! You are here in spirit & we are with you in kind. Thank you for all you gave ~ we'll see you soon in the next life. Until then, may God wrap his loving arms around your children and Rich and give them the strength to smile & laugh & move forward, one step at a time.
Laura Hernandez
December 15, 2007
Mrs. Kilian was a wonderful person. I was lucky enough to meet her through her wonderful daughter Caroline. I was blessed to meet her and her friend Barry/Rocco, who her and Caroline saved at the Tucson Humane Society. My friend and I took Barry in. Mrs. Kilian, will be deeply missed, I wish I had known her longer. Her work helping animals is very close to my heart, as I love animals as well. She was a wonderful woman and will be deeply missed by all.
Matthew Hawks
December 15, 2007
Scottie you were a wonderful person to all. You took such wonderful care of your family, and have raised to great children that I am very lucky to have as cousins. Thank-you for taking such great care of my mom in her time in need. I am forever grateful for your unconditional generosity. You will be missed dearly. Love always Matt Hawks
Carl and Georgina Schulze
December 10, 2007
Georgina and I were shocked and saddened to hear about Scottie's unexpected passing. While there are no words which could properly express our condolences, I cherish the memories of all the good times we had together and am lucky to have known her.
Alexis Kilian
December 6, 2007
Mommy!!!!!
I got an A in lab and lecture this report card!! I screamed it to you in the car today but just incase you didn't hear me I wanted to tell you again. I know how excited you would be with me if you were here. Damnit, I miss you so much. I want to hug you and share all my excitement with you! I love you so much. I feel like you have been gone an eternity already, I really don't know how to go on without you, but I feel your strength everyday. You were such a strong woman, I plan on taking after you, and so far, I think I am!! Thankyou Mom for so much guidance and love that you have given me!
Your Alexis
Caroline Kilian
December 5, 2007
Hi Mom,
It has been just over one month since you passed away. I just can't stand it! I miss you so very much. I want you to know that I get through each day because of all the wonderful memories and because of your strength. I love you.
Caroline
Gina Malik-Kennery
December 2, 2007
Hi Scottie and Family,
There was so much I wanted to say yesterday when I went up front to talk. I couldn't really muster up the right words and sometimes it is easier to write it out on paper. I have nothing but fond memories of you Scottie. I have known you and your family since 1993. I feel blessed each day to have had you be a part of my life. Your love for your children, your husband, swimming, family, the Lord, and of course the animals. I can still see you standing in the old kitchen with the sleeveless cream velor top on (matching pants of course) and the pretty red lipstick. There were so many folks who talked about "coffee" and it made me smile inside and laugh out loud. I can remember the Saturday trips to pick up Caroline from Blue Fins swimming and stopping at Nostrums on the way home to get a cup of coffee. You were always offering Caroline and I a cup of coffee while we were studying at the kitchen table. We had so much fun and always laughed a lot. People talked about how you always smiled and it's true. Your warmth and love really brightened other people. I know my mom loved your talks at swim meets and she still talks about that FANTASTIC Chinese restaurant we went to in Palo Alto with you guys. She remembers how you and her laughed so hard. I had such a blast when you drove me to visit Caroline in AZ sophomore year. I was so thankful that you would invite me to ride along with you. Caroline loved your visits! I think fondly of our wonderful talks or emails we would have back and forth. I think of all the emails that you would send on animal rescue or petitions we needed to sign to make sure animal cruelty was stopped. I think of how you would invite me over to hang out even when Caroline wasn't around. My family was blessed that I could have such a wonderful friend with such fabulous parents. My folks always felt safe when I was with you guys. I treasured all the fun times we did spend time together and I am thankful for my best friend. She is just like you. Kind, loving, beautiful, a true lady, smart, has a love for the animals and just a beautiful person with a big heart. I loved the photo of you up there that was taken at Tim and my wedding this year. I appreciate all your advice and help with the planning. It was much appreciated and made it even more of a special day. You are beyond well missed and much loved! I love you.
Virginia & Philip Paul
December 1, 2007
To Richard, Caroline and Alexis: Our deepest sympathy for the loss of Scottie. We didn't see her often over the last 20+ years as both families matured, but I do remember having dinner at La Paloma during this past year and both Richard and Scottie were there and we said hello. Scottie was spending time in Tucson while Richard oversaw remodelling issues here. Our daughter Melissa (Missy) fondly remembers the occasional babysitting of Caroline and also extends her sympathy from Villanova, PA where she now resides.
Caroline Welch-Hansen
December 1, 2007
My thoughts and prayers have been about Scottie and all of you as her Family. I wish to send my sympathy and love. May the God of all comfort, comfort you as you endure the death of Scottie. (2Corinthians 1:3,4) I enjoyed knowing Scottie from 7th grade on through graduating from Carlsbad High School. She was always so happy. It just rubbed off on everyone. I can still see her happy smiling face. With love in my heart ,and sincere condolences, Caroline Welch-Hansen
Leah Kahn
November 30, 2007
Scottie,
You embodied everything that was good and right in the world. No matter what obstacles you encountered, you persevered and succeeded. No matter how busy you were at work, you never complained, always did more than asked, and went about the business of conducting heart wrenching child abuse investigations with optimism and conviction. You went into terrible neighborhoods at night without any regard for your personal safety [which worried me tremendously by the way if you are reading this]; fortified only by the fantastic mega meals Richard would pack in your little insulated lunch box. You carried yourself with a sense of grace and your love and concern for Richard, Caroline, and Alexis was legendary.
I remember when we were initially introduced; I came to your unit as a new supervisor, unsure and lacking in confidence. When I learned that you were Dixie’s sister I had a sense that everything would be ok because I knew Dixie. I wasn’t wrong. Even though I was your supervisor, you actually taught me lessons that will last me a lifetime. I am forever grateful.
I will miss you; when I saw you at Dixie’s funeral I never dreamed that I would never see you again in this world. I regret we didn’t converse more, but I wanted to be respectful and thought we’d have other opportunities. Scottie, I believe heaven is a better place for having you there. I am a better person for having known you; we all are better people for having had you in our lives. My thoughts and prayers to Richard, Caroline, and Alexis.
Leah
Leah Kahn
November 30, 2007
Scottie,
You embodied everything that was good and right in the world. No matter what obstacles you encountered, you persevered and succeeded. No matter how busy you were at work, you never complained, always did more than asked, and went about the business of conducting heart wrenching child abuse investigations with optimism and conviction. You went into terrible neighborhoods at night without any regard for your personal safety, [which worried me tremendously by the way if you are reading this]; fortified only by the fantastic mega meals Richard would pack in your little insulated lunch box. You carried yourself with a sense of grace and your love and concern for Richard and Alexis and Caroline was legendary.
I remember when we were initially introduced, I came to your unit as a new supervisor, unsure and lacking in confidence. When I learned that you were Dixie’s sister I had a sense that everything would be ok because I knew Dixie. I wasn’t wrong. Even though I was your supervisor, you actually taught me lessons that will last me a lifetime. I am forever grateful.
I will miss you; when I saw you at Dixie’s funeral I never dreamed that I would never see you again in this world. I regret I didn’t say more, but I wanted to be respectful and thought we’d have other opportunities. Scottie, I believe heaven is a better place for having you there. I am a better person for having known you; we all are better people for having had you in our lives.
Leah
Monique (Julie's mom) Manitt
November 29, 2007
Dear Caroline and family,
So sorry about the lost of your dear mother. I meet her at swim meets and she always struck me as a beautiful and gracious women and she was so proud of you. Please know that your mother,you and your family are in my thoughts an prayers.
Carlene Mackay
November 29, 2007
Dear Scottie, Ever since I first met you, until the day I watched you pass, you have constantly entered into my everyday thoughts. I also think about you before I sleep and as I awaken each morning. I only knew you for three months, as we watched your sister (and my good friend, Dixie) dying. I observed the endless giving of yourself; the kind, caring and abundant love that you so unselfishly bestowed on others, and on me, while you managed Dixie’s affairs and put together her beautiful memorial. You were so filled with integrity, while you were always so open and forth right, that you just amazed me. You quickly became an integral part of my being, as our souls bonded. Scottie, I have never met anyone throughout all my years, who made such a phenomenal impact on my life in such a short period of time. You have changed my life and I shall always cherish the “gift” of your friendship. I will miss you forever as I keep you in my heart...rest in peace dear friend, I love you.
My heart and sympathy go out to Libby, Richard, Alexis, Carolyn, Jim, Ryan, and remaining family and friends. The loss of such a beautiful soul leaves an unmeasurable void in the hearts of us, all.
Patty Steger
November 27, 2007
It was a blessing to be in contact with Scottie once again after so many years have passed since we were neighbors while in highschool. It was wonderful getting to know her while she worked so hard at taking care of her sister Dixie in her last days. Dixie being a closer friend of mine than Scottie, I now realize how precious they both were and how blessed I am getting to know Scottie again before the Lord took her. She was incredible and I will miss the conversations we had and her thoughtfulness for everyone. I feel like I know her two daughters because she spoke so highly and so much about them. I have known Richard for years but have not been in touch since before Dixie and Scottie died, and it is obvious that Richard and Scottie have been wonderful parents and family members. I will miss Scottie a great deal, as I do Dixie, and my heart goes out to Richard, Caroline, Alexis and Libbey and Jim, Scottie's mom and brother.
ALexis Kilian
November 27, 2007
Hi Mommy!!
I know somewhere in heaven there is a computer for you to read all these notes our family and your friends are writing to you. You were indeed, the best woman to ever live on this Earth in my eyes. I want to hear your voice so badly, I want to tell you Im getting an A in lab and lecture in school!! I can hear your voice and I know how proud you are of me. I feel you every second in my heart, every breathe I take and everything I do...I know you are there with me. I love you with all my heart and all my soul. Words will never be able to describe this pain I feel without you in my life. You were the one and only...the best mom we could ever have imagined.I love you so very much mommmy
Your Lecki
Darlyne Nemeth
November 24, 2007
Dear Scottie:
I miss you so very much. When I received the call from Alexis informing me of your death, I could hardly believe it. Just a few weeks ago we had one of our wonderfully long phone conversations during which we planned to meet for dinner in Scottsdale after my NAN presentation...and now this!
For over 35 years, you have been my very best friend. When we met in our graduate training, you in Social Work and me in Psychology, there was an instant bond. I knew that it was one that would last a lifetime, and, in spite of the physical distance between us, we were each only a heartbeat away emotionally. You were the kindest, most loving, and most gracious woman I have ever known. Your family was indeed so blest to have had you. My only regret is that you were unable to stay with us a little longer.
So, instead of meeting for dinner in Scottsdale on November 15th, Don and I drove down to Tucson the next day to console Richard. Of course, he was inconsolable for you were indeed the love of his life. Although a very private person, we urged Richard to stay connected. Just as we shared so many special moments and kept each others "secrets," I pledged to be there emotionally for Richard, Caroline, and Alexis...as we were for one another. Scottie, I must say goodbye to you, my bff, for now. Until we meet again, Love, Darlyne
Janet and John Houts
November 24, 2007
Dearest Scottie will be missed by both of us. It was such a shock to us, so I can only imagine the loss felt by her family. Never was there a dearer or more generous friend. She was such a lady, and always was thinking of others first. Even though she was John's friend first in seventh grade, she became my dear friend as well. I will miss my birthday pal, my e-mail buddy, and my lunch and shopping companion. Her presence will be felt always in our hearts. Much love to the family, Jan and John Houts
Darlyne Nemeth
November 23, 2007
My dear friend, Scottie, I will miss you very much. When we met during our graduate training, you in Social Work and me in Psychology, there was an instant bond. I knew then that we would be friends forever. Even in spite of the miles that would eventually separate us physically, we were always just a heartbeat away emotionally. It was so much fun living together while planning your wedding. It was also amazing sharing our various life adventures with one another. We shared such wonderful little "secrets." that we told one another, but no one else. Now they are mine alone to keep and to treasure forever. What wonderful memories of a life well lived...filled with grace, generosity, and goodness. Scottie, you were amazing...always helping others, whether they had two feet or four feet...you gave of yourself.
On Thursday, November 15,2007, you and Richard and Don and I were supposed to have met for dinner the evening after my NAN presentation in Scottsdale. Instead, Don and I ended up driving down to Tucson to console Richard. I do not know how much help we were to him at that time, but I do pledge to you that I will be there emotionally for Richard, Caroline, and Alexis as you and I were for one another. I know that this is what you would want me to do.
Scottie, you were the purest and kindest person I have ever had the privilege of knowing. It was an honor to have you as my very best friend for all these year. In fact, in over 35 years, I can not even remember one cross word or one arguement. We each, however, did do our best to gently guide one another in positive ways. My only regret is that we had so many visits planned that will now never be. But the times that we did spend together, including our long phone conversations, are memories that I will treasure forever. I love you and I will miss you very, very much. Your bff,
Darlyne
Alexis Kilian
November 22, 2007
Hi Mom,
Happy Thanksgiving! I miss you so unbelievably much. I wish you were here to make the most amazing Turkey Dinner only you could make. You are my constant thought every second of my life. I love you with all my heart and soul.
Your Alexis
Caroline Kilian
November 18, 2007
Good morning Mommy! It has been the longest two weeks without your physical presence in my life. I miss not being able to call you and tell you about my day. The trivial things that don't matter to anyone else... Gosh, I miss you so much. I don't really know how to go on without you, but I am trying because I know that that is what you would want me to do. I talk with you everyday and in my heart I know you hear me and are with me. Mom, I am so very grateful for these last few years of you living off and on in Tucson. I am fortunate enough to say not only that I had the best Mom ever, but that you were (are) my best friend as well. Noone can compare to you... not now or ever. Lexi and I were blessed to be born to you and to Daddy. The memories I have will last forever and I am so very very thankful for them. Not many mom/daughter combos could compare to us!!! I love you Mom! You are forever with me...
Your firstborn :) Caroline
Michael Berning
November 18, 2007
Dear Richard, Caroline, and Alexis, I'm at Mark's place in the city and he shared with me this tribute page (you know I could never sign on to this on my own!)Yesterday, we had fun being part of the pre-holiday crowd which included Bergdorf Goodman's dept. store. Mark said something that I had been thinking the whole time, "Scottie would really enjoy this store." --it was elegant and festive, just like she was...it also brought back memories of the wonderful week we spent together in Manhattan a year ago. She may have lived most of her life in California, but, her energy and spunk 'outshown' any diehard New Yorker!--in fact she wanted to be in the 'NBC Today's Show' gathering a few hours after we had just gotten in from the night before!!--it's sad that we can no longer spend such wonderful times together, but I'll be forever grateful for the times we did, and also the imprint she left on my life...thank you Scottie for enriching our lives. My love to Richard, Caroline and Alexis. Your nephew and cousin, Michael Berning/New York.
Lynn Yahr
November 16, 2007
Richard, Caroline and Alexis,
All of those swimming days, trying to get homework done in cars, fitting in two schedules at different pools and eating on the run. Sylvia, Scottie and I talking in parking lots and at meets across the country, trying to make sense out of our crazy worlds.
It was the best of times. Family always came first and she loved you all so much. Hold on to your memories. What a wonderful life she gave us all for knowing her.
Lynn, Jim, Jayme & Cameron Yahr
Alexis Kilian
November 16, 2007
Hi Mommy!
I just miss you so much and wish I could call you right now. My heart aches without you. I can't tell you how much I love you and what you mean to me. My life feels so empty without your loving presence and beautiful upbeat voice. Not a second goes by without thinking of you. I couldnt have ever asked God for a better MOM. You are the love of my life mommy, now and forever. Love your baby Lexi
Ryan Hawks
November 15, 2007
Aunt Scottie, I have grown so close to you these past couple of months as my roommate and friend while taking care of my mother (Dixie) with cancer. I learned so much about your life and your children through this very difficult time. You were there for my mother in ways I could not, and I will never forget you and how you were there for me. With love your nephew.
Geoff & Jeff Glaser-Commings
November 14, 2007
Dear Caroline and Family: All of us are deeply saddened by the sudden loss of your mother. Jeff and I want to personally extend our most sincere condolences. Please know we are here for you and for your family.
Patrice Smerdu
November 13, 2007
Dearest, Scottie...our class reunions will not be the same without your smiling face. To Scottie's family, there are so many of us who share your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Molly and Adam Chavers
November 13, 2007
We are so sorry for your loss. We feel blessed to have met Scottie at Caroline and Tom's wedding not so very long ago. She raised two beautiful and caring girls who will certainly continue to shine her light in this world. While there are no words to take away this enormous amount of pain, but hope that wonderful memories and togetherness will help you through this difficult time. Our love, Molly and Adam Chavers
Shirley Macey
November 13, 2007
I am sure that everyone that ever was allowed to have Scottie in their lives is saddened by such a great loss not only to the Human Race but to the Animal World as well, she was the most caring person I was ever blessed to have volunteered with, her kind and caring ways will be missed so much by all who ever knew her, my love to you all Volunteer Shirley HSSA
Anita Schulze
November 13, 2007
Beauty in her whole being, grace, kindness - these are just some of Scottie's wonderful qualities & she truly epitomized the word "lady" in everything she did. I am still in shock at her passing & can't understand why she was taken from her family at such an early age. I have known Scottie since we were teenagers & we met through my brother, Dr. Richard Stang. Later, our children attended Old Mission Montessori School together & our friendship grew into one of the strongest I have ever experienced with anyone. I will miss her terribly but nothing compared to the pain Rich, Caroline & Alexis are experiencing. My heart & prayers go out to them.
Karin Militello
November 13, 2007
Scottie always put others before herself. She was truly an amazing, beautiful soul whose loving, compassionate, and fun nature profoundly impacted thousands and thousands of lives who were lucky enough to come across her path. I was one of those lucky lives. May God bless Scottie and be with all her family during this very, very sad time. Scottie truly is and always has been a true angel.
Scott Shake
November 12, 2007
Although I did not spend a lot of time with Scottie, I feel that I got to know her very well through her daughter Caroline. When I first met her, our conversation was focussed solely on her two daughters. It was easy to see how very proud of them she was.
Scottie was devoted to her family, passionate about animal care, and concerned for children. Truly, she was an angel on earth.
She was the "miracle mom" for Caroline and Alexis. These young women embody their mom's positive qualities and will keep Scottie's spirit alive for all of our benefit.
My heart aches for Caroline, Alexis and Richard. Thank you for sharing your angel with all of us.
Carole Taylor
November 12, 2007
Dear Richard, Caroline and Alexis, Steve and I are so sorry for your loss. I always enjoyed talking to Scottie when she had the dogs out for a walk in Fox Hideaway. In fact, I will never forget her compassion when one of our Poodles unexpectedly died and the laughter we shared when we found another new Poodle baby; Scottie and her daughter, Caroline, and her son-in-law, Tom, came up to our house with gifts for our new "baby". That is just the type of person she was...always concerned, giving and thoughtful. We will miss her beauty, her smile and her devotion to causes that she held dear.
Steve and Carole Taylor
Gay Garland Reed
November 12, 2007
I was profoundly saddened to hear of your passing, dear, dear, Scottie. When I visited for the 35th Carlsbad High class reunion, you were the one who insisted that I check out of the hotel and stay with you in your lovely home. It was a wonderful way to reconnect after so many years and another demonstration of your warmth and generosity. You are sorely missed, my friend.
Arne Larsen
November 12, 2007
So many years have passed since our high school friendship, yet I can still remember the sweet spirit that dwelled within Scottie. I wish to express my condolences to all her family and friends. From reading her obtituary it is clear that her 'sweetness' simply matured and touched many other people who had the priviledge to call her 'friend.' I am grateful that our paths crossed, even though for such a short time. May God's peace cover her family.
Alexis Kilian
November 12, 2007
Mom,
You are the light of my life. You are my everything. You are the 4th wheel of the Kilian team. My life is forever brokenn without you. I am so thankful Mommy, that we got to spend 3 of your last months drinking hot chocolate everynight, watching our favorite I love Lucy and Mash reruns together and cuddling with "TeeTee" every morning. I promise to make you so proud in school momma, I will not let you down. You live in my heart and I feel you every second of every day. I just wish so badly I could hug and kiss you and take this all away. I know you are with Jesus though, and we will hug and kiss again someday. You are forever my pillar of strength, love, and compassion for everything you came across. Yours forever,
your Ecki
Susan Tabbutt Forrister
November 12, 2007
Scottie, Scottie, Scottie. From our first meeting in 7th grade, through high school, and meetings throughout the years since, you have always been a wonderful person with a special place in my heart. My mind is filled with fond memories of you and the great fun we had as teenagers, and I am so proud to have called you friend for these many years. Even though our contacts in the last years have been few, I will miss you. Your legacy of love, compassion, and friendship will live on.
Joey & Jim Sourant
November 12, 2007
Dear Richard, Caroline & Alexis,
Jim & I were shocked & saddened to learn of your loss. Scottie was a wonderful, loving person & we were so blessed to have known her, even though it was for such a short time as neighbors in Tucson. She obviously touched so many lives. We send our love & prayers..Joey & Jim Sourant
John P. Donohue
November 11, 2007
I have known Scottie since we both attended and graduated Carlsbad High in the 1960's. She was an effervescent personality, always easy to laugh and loyal in the face of misfortune. She will be missed by all that knew her and that loved her.
Tom Dow
November 11, 2007
Scottie had a profound impact on everyone and everything that she touched. I'll miss the big smile that always greeted me as I walked through their doors in Vista. She will never be gone for the wonderful memories and her loving spirit remain with everyone that knew her. You are sorely missed Scottie
Scott Shake
November 11, 2007
Although I didn't get to spend a lot of time with Scottie, I feel that I got to know her very well through her daughter Caroline. Her devotion to her family, passion for animal care and concern for children demonstrate that she was truly an angel and will be sorely missed.
When I first met her, she talked freely about Caroline and Alexis and I could tell how proud and very much she loved both of them. She was the "miracle mom" for these two young women.
My heart aches for Caroline, Alexis and Richard.
My life will be forever enriched having known her.
Steve, Dianne, Brian and Dave Cowen
November 11, 2007
Our family was blessed to know Scottie for many years. What a wonderful example of Christlike character in her love for family, friends, and animals. Scottie's thoughtfulness extended to all she knew.
Katie Fischer
November 11, 2007
Scottie's vibrant nature and compassion for life is encompassed in her daughters and will live on through Caroline and Alexis. I feel honored to have known such a wonderful woman and loving family. My deepest sympathy is with you all. I love you.
Karin Unger
November 11, 2007
Scottie and I met two years ago at the Humane Society of Southern Arizona. We were volunteer dog walkers and her compassion and love for the dogs was incredible. She always wanted to find good homes for these animals.
She was such a special lady and I can't believe that I will never see and talk to her again. I will miss her greatly.
Karin
Kristina Wagner
November 11, 2007
My deepest sympathies to Richard, Caroline and Alexis. I am very sorry for your loss.
Mark Berning
November 11, 2007
Scottie passed from this world knowing that she was much loved. She will never be forgotten. The BRILLIANT LIGHT of her life will forever illuminate a place in our hearts. We all lost a kind beautiful soul much too soon.
Sharon Fabry
November 11, 2007
This is a wonderful way to give tribute to a wonderful person. I worked with Scottie during her daughter's wedding preparations, I got to know her as a lovely, vivacious person, always so polite and a 'worker bee.' She was so proud of her daughters. I am truly sorry.
Sincerely,
Sharon Fabry
Laurie Gilbert
November 11, 2007
The brief time I had to get to know Scottie was such a gift, and there seemed to be such promise of the years ahead with the best neighbor anyone could hope for. It's probably the only promise Scottie ever didn't fulfill.
Cindy & Bob Washburn
November 11, 2007
We met in college in Chico and have been good friends ever since. I am thankful to have spent some time with her just last month and to tell you how proud we are to have known her and Richard and the girls. She will be a cherished memory. Deepest regrets to the entire family. Best Regards to the Kilians and all they know and love. Bob and Cindy Washburn
Pat Schuh
November 11, 2007
Michael and I consider it an
honor to have known someone as
gracious and beautiful as Scottie.
She has left a beautiful legacy
in her two daughters Caroline and
Alexis.
Mr. and Mrs. Michael Schuh
Gina and Tim Kennery
November 11, 2007
I have so many fond memories of Scottie. She was like a second mother to me. She obviously had strong love for her family and the animals. I am so thankful that I was able to share our special wedding day with Scottie this summer. We are praying for all of you. My deepest sympathy goes to the Kilian family.
BOB WHITE
November 11, 2007
A VERY NICE LADY. WILL BE MISSED AT THE ARIZONA HUMANE SOCIETY IN TUCSON.
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