William Trabakino

1956 - 2020

William W. Trabakino
William W. Trabakino, a resident of Stamford, Connecticut, died Sunday, April 12 at age 63 from complications due to COVID-19 at the Yale New Haven Health - Bridgeport Hospital.
Born on July 29, 1956, Bill grew up in The Highlands area of White Plains, New York and graduated from White Plains High School in 1974. He received a B.A. in Communications in 1978 from his beloved Marquette University, a M.Ed. in 1980 from the University of Georgia and pursued doctoral studies in Higher Education at Fordham University.
Bill worked in university student affairs at Marquette as an undergraduate R.A., and later at the University of Georgia, Radford University and Michigan State University, all as a Resident Director. Later, Bill worked for Student Assistance Services, then as a Dean of Students at John F. Kennedy Catholic High School in Westchester County and for 18 years he served as an Assistant Dean and Adjunct Professor in the Fordham Gabelli School of Business. In later years, Bill worked as a private college consultant.
Bill married the love of his life, Amy Wrobel, in 1988, and together, they have raised their son and shining light, Carter, now 23, in their Shippan neighborhood of Stamford. Bill loved their home and neighborhood, just steps from the beach on the Long Island Sound as well as their close-knit group of neighbors. He and Amy created a rich life woven of a wide circle of friends and family members (and Corgis) and of special and shared moments in time and experiences, but nothing brought him more joy than witnessing and taking part in their son Carter's life. Bill's passion as father to Carter was a constant, from very early years chasing Carter at the neighborhood beach and watching him play with family friends at Final Four lacrosse tailgates, to following Carter's own hockey and lacrosse games and seeing his son recently graduate from Syracuse and begin his professional life. Bill's pride in Carter was evident not only from his joyful words recounting his son's days, but from Bill's sparkling eyes and his bursting smile when talking about him. Bill loved knowing and being part of the lives of Carter's many friends and the families of Carter's friends and hockey teammates. Bill especially cherished his summers with Amy, Carter and brother David at Cape Cod, loving its natural wonders, lighthouses, whale sightings and visits with the Cape friends they came to know, love and reunite with every summer.
Preceded in death were Bill's parents, Sal Trabakino and Jane Kellet, brother Mark Trabakino and his in-laws, Barb and Ben Wrobel. Bill is survived by his wife Amy, son Carter, Bill's siblings Sharon Senno and her husband Richard of Fishkill, David Trabakino of Tarrytown and Brian Trabakino of Phoenix, Arizona, his niece and nephew Micaela and Daniel Senno, Aunt Nancy McTague and son Jimmy Kellet, many beloved aunts, uncles and cousins, Godchildren McClain, Jackie, Micaela and Maddie and many loving friends.
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Because these days make it impossible for Bill's friends and family to host an in-person celebration of his life (a gathering of so many of his groups of family and friends Bill would have so loved), it's important to reflect a bit more on the impact Bill had on others and perhaps on a few of his traits that might benefit many of us. Bill – or "Billy" or "Trab" – as he was known to so many, was one of those rare individuals who really did leave a clear and positive mark on others.
From his early work with fellow college students as an R.A. to his last years as a college counselor to anxious high school students, Billy was a kind and caring mentor to many, and an inspiring, creative – and fun - leader to so many of his staff and students, many of whom later became his friends. Billy really listened carefully to peoples' words and he thought deeply about their needs. He then might respond with heartfelt words of love and support as triage, but then follow with a well-considered suggestion, an interesting article or link sent (Bill was a voracious consumer of information), or sometimes with a tough and necessary truth to someone seeking his counsel. He knew how to lift people up when they needed lifting, sometimes even when they didn't know they needed it.
Many of us think Bill had more friends in his 63 years than most people have in far more years. That may be true, but perhaps Bill was just better at valuing and keeping friends, from his earliest years, in his heart, in his thoughts and by contact. Even if months - or years - passed between contact, with a new call, email, Facebook message or visit, Bill would recall seemingly insignificant details of that person's life, family members, interests and jobs. He really understood that very human need to feel special, to be appreciated and to be honored by others. And Bill practiced it, not out of a hollow motive, but because he was really sincerely interested in them and absolutely delighted to hear about their life moments. In his booming voice, he would shout "that's so great!" (can't you hear it?) equally to news of a well-earned grade, a child's birth, a winning goal, a college acceptance or simply seeing your well-painted house. Bill made you feel like you were the only person in the universe, when talking with him in person or even just on the phone.
Bill knew how to connect people and groups of friends – not professional networking, but through shared family and friends' social and family experiences. He loved sharing his friends and family with others. His later friends in life would come to know his beloved MU '78 friends and their funny nicknames; the family of a Godchild – and their extended friends – would come to know and love Bill's lacrosse family friends, and so on. Even when you hadn't met them physically, you felt like you knew the Shippan neighbor or the Fordham friend. Like a sleuth, but from his heart, he was always delighted to tie facts and life experiences of one person to another person and from one group to another. Bill lived 'six degrees of separation' before it became a popular modern-day topic. And, we all benefited from it, being enriched by his woven fabric of friends and family.
Billy never met a stranger, was the life of the party and the person everyone wanted to be around. Women, madly in love with their spouses, and men alike, had crushes on him. As one long-time male friend who came to know Bill through the friend's wife said, 'he was so easy to love.' No star power, no intellectual prowess, just the ineffable beauty of the human heart.
Finally, Billy always saw the good in so many situations and in so many people, even when people could not see it themselves or around them. He saw the world as it could be at its best, not as it actually was. When his ever-supporting wife Amy occasionally – and lovingly - chided him for this rosy vision and suggested that he 'deal with reality' (even though she secretly hoped he would never quit this view), Bill would usually retort that it was Amy who needed to view things more positively, like him! So, today – and as often as possible in the future - let's all put on our rose-colored glasses in loving tribute to Bill Trabakino.
RIP Billy Trab. You are indeed well remembered and loved.
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Bill will be laid to rest in a private ceremony. Memorial contributions may be made to the COVID-19 Support Fund at Yale New Haven Health - Bridgeport Hospital (https://foundation.bridgeporthospital.org/covid-19_inkindgifts/) or the Friends of the Cape Cod National Seashore Foundation (https://www.fccns.org). To offer online thoughts to the family and a celebration of Bill's life, please visit http://www.cognetta.com.