Jerry Ann Hader was a loving wife of Dr. Richard Hader, mother of Kurt and Margot. In many way, all of the Haders play an important role in displaying something rarely seen today-the nuclear family. Margot Hader tutored me in high school, as our friendship developed, I was introduced to her parents. Jerry was 57 and I was 18 when we first met in 1989, I know this because we share the same birthday, September 25. She was 39 years my senior, and the mother of my friend, I never thought she'd become one of the most important people in my life. Over time, I realized she always smiled, she was brutally honest, she loved her family, church and friends, appreciated a good bottle of wine and delicious food, staying active in a female walking group, caring for others, golf, receiving and sending cards, reading the paper, using fancy words and had this infectious laugh that I will miss the most. When I was 20, I went to the Hader's home for Thanksgiving, Jerry was in the kitchen cooking for 12 people, she never complained and truly brought out the best in anyone in her presence. For the following 30 years, we equally looked out for one other. Jerry was no stranger to loss and change-through every transition Jerry always maintained a positive attitude, dignity and decorum. She remain strong and resilience though any situation-the passing of Dr. Hader, August 31, 2000. She maintained her independence and found solace with the changes in her life. Many events branched from her husbands death, she continued to allow herself to experience the grief and celebrate the life they shared. Jerry was 70, still a visiting nurse to young children. What a blessing for these young children to have Jerry caring for them, while moving forward with her daily activities. During this time, Margot was the only family who remained in Salinas, as others moved away, In order to make sure Jerry continued her journey, it was Margot along with her two friends, Franny and myself, who watched over Jerry. It became somewhat a surprise on how her large, heavy safe could be removed from Jerry's home, it only reinforce Jerry needing people who loved her to keep her safe. I started dating my boyfriend, Jimmy, in 2002, and he and Jerry instantly became friends-she began to visit him at Beck's Shoe Store, he continued to call and visit Jerry in Fallen, NV. I moved to Palm Springs, and Jerry visited a few times to celebrate our birthdays. In 2014, when Jerry turned 84, and I became 45 we ate at a place called Le Vallauris Restaurant, got to sit adjacent to Carol Channing. The next day, we spent the day at Universal Studios, Jerry had a great. This would be the last time I would see Jerry. When we spoke for our Birthdays in 2019, she had difficulty remembering me, still still remember Jimmy. This year, when I spoke to Jerry for our birthdays, she was excited to hear from me, the entire conversation was lucid. This would be last time I spoke to Jerry. I sincerely regret writing the adult humor statement in her Christmas Card, I hope nobody read it. Jerry has been an angle to me, I have to believe she remembered those she loved during the end. Margot and John (son-in-law), brought Jerry to be closer to them, I know Jerry felt extremely pleased that they married, after all, we did experience all those who came before. I love you, Jerry. I miss you dearly. Thank you for everything you did me.
Neil LoMeli
Friend