Today marks one year since my older brother's unexpected passing. I still struggle every day to start the grieving process. When a death is unexpected and you are not given the chance to physically say goodbye to your loved one it is hard to accept and fully absorb the fact that they are now only a memory you hold close to your heart. It is easy to get preoccupied with life's daily rituals that occupy your mind and time. At first it was utter shock that kept me from feeling the reality of the situation but now I am finally finding myself open to remembering Ken's laughter and voice. Sometimes I catch myself thinking "Oh, I'll phone Ken and ask his advice on this or that," only to be snapped back into reality. Recently, I was sitting alone listening to "The Best of the Ed Sullivan show" - 60's and 70's music on KCTS9 TV when the song, "The House of the Rising Sun" came on. I was not aware that this song had meaning to Ken so when it was played at Ken's memorial I fell apart as this song is one of my favourites. Now when I hear this song I am still flooded with emotion but now I can embrace the song's connection to Ken. Ken and I both got married and had children and were busy with everyday life. When Ken moved to Grand Forks, BC our relationship was not as connected as when we both lived in Vancouver but I was looking forward to sharing experiences especially regarding our children's teenage/early adult years. I never expected that we wouldn't get that opportunity. It is easy to get swept away by life and watch years go by in almost a blink of an eye. The miles apart did not make it easy to stay connected but now I am left with regrets of opportunities lost. Ken was the fun factor in our childhood but also my protector. It was unspoken but he was always there for me. We spent all of our high school years with separated parents (who eventually divorced) but we learned to support and rely on each other even through the normal sibling rivalry. Ken was a great brother to me and I couldn't have had a more genuine and loving friend. I will miss him dearly and he will never be far from my mind and heart. My heart goes out to his son, Dylan. I hope to get to know him better and be there for him in the future.
Ken's earlier high school years were in New Westminster. He finished grade 11 in 1971. In 1973, he graduated grade 13 from Ernestown high school in Odessa, Ontario. If anyone reading this now connects to who Ken was please share your feelings and thoughts about Ken as this on-line Guest Book comes to an end on August 24, 2014.
Love your sister, Debra.