Winifred Hope Tailer-Chrobak

Winifred Tailer-Chrobak Obituary

Died on Friday, August 20, 2004 at her home in Hudson after an extended illness. She was 56. Born in Buffalo, NY and raised in Brunswick, GA. she was a member of the Order of Rainbow Girls in Brunswick and a Life Member of Girl Scouts of America. She was an avid bird watcher, hiker, canoeist, outdoor enthusiast and world traveler. She received a Bachelor's degree from the University of Southern Georgia and an MBA from Simmons (their first graduating MBA class) in Boston, MA. She was employed as Director of Marketing at Tatnuck Park Assisted Living Community in Worcester, MA. She was the daughter of Dr. William Harding Tailer (deceased) of Darien, GA and Louise Slocum Tailer Brown of Lakeland, FL. Winnie is survived by her husband Manuel Chrobak, daughter Raina Chrobak of Watertown, MA, her sisters: Ginnie Eberly of FL, Lindy Thompson of Brunswick, GA, Cindy Goldsmith of Lakeland, FL, and her brothers: Jim Tailer of Tallahassee, FL and Tim Tailer of Lakeland, FL. She is also survived by her Aunt Geraldine and Uncle Peter Tailer of NH, Aunt Pauline and Uncle William Slocum of SC and many nieces and nephews. A memorial service will be held at 2{M1} P{M1}.M{M1}. on Saturday, September 18, 2004 at the First Parish Church Unitarian, 40 Church Street, Northborough, MA. She is buried in the Howard Street Cemetery, Northborough, MA. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made in Winnie's name to the Brain Tumor Center Fund (for research and education about brain tumors), Mass. General Hospital, Cox 315, 100 Blossom Street, Boston, MA 02114.

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Published by Boston Globe on Aug. 29, 2004.

Memories and Condolences
for Winifred Tailer-Chrobak

15 Entries

Ellen

October 28, 2004

KNOWNING I HAD USED MANY POEMS FROM "THE GIFT OF WONDER", I FOUND THE POEM THAT EXPRESSED MY THOUGHTS.

HOPE THE POEM IS COMFORT FOR MANNY & YOUR FAMILY.

THOUGHT OF WINNIE'S SMILE.

TO ONE NO LONGER HERE

I NEVER THINK OF HER WITHOUT A SMILE---

AND THAT'S A RATHER SPLENDID THING TO SAY.

WHAT BETTER LEGACY COULD ONE BEQUEATH

THAN SMILES TO BRIGHTEN A LOVE ONE'S DAY?

I MISS HER, BUT I FIND WHEN TEARDROPS START

AND WHEN I'M FEELING LONELY AND BEREFT,

JUST THINKING OF HER STARTS ME SMILING. TOO,

AT ALL THE HAPPY MEMORIES SHE LEFT.

HELEN LOWRIE MARSHALL

LOVE, ELLEN

Anne Clancy

October 20, 2004

October 19, 2004

Anne Clancy's comments on the day of Winnie's Memorial Service

Thank you all for coming today. I know Winnie would be just overwhelmed by the fact that so many people were here today to honor her.

A few days after Winnie's passing I was walking down Beacon Street in Brookline, not far from where I live. I passed a store named Bowl and Board. Out in front of the store were two beautiful rocking chairs. From their hanging price tags I could see that they were placed there to advertise the merchandise inside the store.

What struck me even more than the lure of comfortable rocking chairs on a hot summer day was that two women were sitting in the chairs, each with a cup of coffee, engaged in some obviously important conversation, laughing and rocking. I thought to myself, that's what I will miss most about my time with Winnie.

For sure, friendship comes in all sorts of varieties that merge and blur. One could speak of many aspects that make up the complexity that is a friend. Nurturance, support in hard times, laughter. I choose to talk about acceptance when I think about my friendship with Winnie.

I met Winnie twenty years ago as roommates in an apartment on Beacon Hill. We had many times of fun and laughter. After she met Manny, I always felt welcome in their home. I felt taken into their home with the ease of family. They were simply there for me, no matter the pressure, no matter the pain.

Winnie and I would often go shopping together. I have said before to some of her family that we were like two fourteen year old girls at the mall. It was a respite from the hecticness and seriousness of the workweek. In the words of someone that I recently read, a woman friend is the the one to whom a woman turns to understand the gravity of all the trivia of her life. Indeed, I recently said to Manny, you know that idea that women can talk for hours about "nothing", and feel better about everything, really is true.

I thank you Winnie for all those hours of friendship. You will always hold a special place in my heart. I choose to think of you dancing and laughing up there in the stars.

Goodbye, my dear friend.

Carol Hunt

October 10, 2004

Winnie and I became friends through adversity --she with her illness and I with the suicide of my husband.

She was so perceptive, so very warm, and so funny. I think she was the only woman (other than my mother) to whom I said "I love you."

I wish I could have helped her heal the way she helped me, but there were other plans for Winnie. Now she is in my heart and in my mind, still helping me, still calming my fears, giving me advice, and laughing with me.

I feel her presence often and thank God that she was, even for so short a time, a part of my life.

Berean Bible Fellowship Class First Baptist Church

September 25, 2004

In Memory of Your Loved One,

Winifred Hope Tailer-Chrobak,

a book has been placed as a living memorial in The Church Library of First Baptist Church of Brunswick by The Berean Bible-Fellowship Sunday School Class.

An appropriate inscription has been made in the front of the book.

Manuel Chrobak

September 23, 2004

Manny's Comments for Winnie's Memorial Service

First Parish Church Unitarian Universalist, Northborough, MA

September 18, 2004

Thank you all for coming today to help us celebrate Winnie's life. In addition to being my wife, Winnie was my soul mate and my best friend. Her life was devoted to caring for other people. She loved people. Winnie was the single sweetest person I have ever known.

Winnie almost always put others first. For me the most heart-wrenching example of this was the day after we first learned of her diagnosis of brain cancer. As hard as it was, that Saturday we reviewed her will and decided on a few changes. We changed her bank accounts to joint ownership. She also told me that after she died she wanted me to find someone else so I could be happy and not lonely. I told her we weren't anywhere near that point with the illness, but she insisted. She wanted me to be clear on that point. There was absolutely no jealousy in our relationship.

And if I ever had an issue with Winnie, which was rare, I always felt I could approach her about it. Her reception was always positive. She'd say, "I appreciate that feedback, can you say more about that?" Or, "what can I do to help with this?" And when it was my turn to listen to feedback I always felt that Winnie was being helpful, never hurtful. So I could hear it and accept it as good advice. Not at first - I got a few speeding tickets before I realized that Winnie was always right about my driving too fast.

I always admired Winnie for her people skills. Early in our marriage I was looking for that "special secret nickname" for Winnie. One day as I was hugging her she moved her head and her hair tickled my nose. So the name "Fluffy" was born. She didn't like that name very much, but I persisted. So she said, "If I have to be "Fluffy," then you'll be "Spike." Those were short-lived nicknames, and I won't say more about them.

We loved each other completely, warts and all. From my perspective, Winnie was a pack rat - she saved everything. If it was less than 12 months old she called it "current." If it was older than 12 months, she called it "semi-current." This bothered my sense of neatness and organization, so we talked about it and she agreed to try to keep it under control. From Winnie's perspective, I was sometimes emotionally unavailable to her - I'd come home from work and bring work home with me to do on my home computer. It was hard for Winnie to understand that solitude helped me charge my batteries. But we talked about it, especially in the face of Winnie's illness. And we grew closer than I would have believed two people could possibly get. We knew our time together was limited, so we spent as much of our free time as we could really being together. We were a team.

From a career standpoint Winnie was a true professional. She worked at Tatnuck Park Assisted Living Community in Worcester. She was Director of Marketing and her job was to find and sell assisted living residences to elders. However, she never viewed it as strictly a "sales" job. She was always concerned that it be a "good fit" for her clients. She was as concerned about their future as their own families were. I can't think of a better career for someone as caring as Winnie was.

Winnie loved animals - especially birds. We were very happy in our home in Hudson, watching the Goldfinches fight over the seed we put out every week. And Winnie would always want to stop the car to watch animals in the wild when we'd come upon them while we were out driving. Every summer we would invariably go on a long "moose hunt" while we were on vacation in Maine. She loved nature and the outdoors. About the only animal she didn't like was spiders. One night she thought she saw a spider on the ceiling of our bedroom. "Kill it!" she said. I said, "Now honey, spiders are good, they kill mosquitoes…" Winnie said in a tone tolerating no disagreement, "Don't fight me on this - I want that spider dead, now!" That was the only time I ever saw her what to hurt a living thing - she was so gentle and kind.

What did Winnie mean to me? In 1996 I wrote the following poem for her. I believe this would truly sum up every day of Winnie's life. I called the poem

"THE LIGHT OF THE DAY"

Streamers herald the new coming day,

and fondle the hillocks with shadows in sway,

cleansing the valley's fine mist away,

bringing to all the light of the day.

Westward and onward she lightens the way,

caressing the wavelets and curves in the bay.

In silent homage she moves on her way

bringing to all the light of the day.

Even through showers which mount in her way

she moves stately past while others but stay.

She bends in her bounty and casts down her rays,

bringing to all the light of the day.

Winnie's courage and determination during the past 2 years were truly inspiring. She never complained, kept her poise and always, always had a smile on her face for you. She lit the way for all of us in so many ways. I loved Winnie very much. And I always will.

Lindy Thompson

September 23, 2004

Winnie

She was a sister, an aunt, a niece, a cousin, a daughter, a wife and step-Mom.

She was a co-worker, a supervisor, a manager and a mentor to many.

Was she your neighbor?

She was best friend to Anne Clancy and she was best friend to Manny.

She loved watching others succeed and was great at offering encouragement.

We will never really know how many people she touched.

Her tender, ways are effecting many generations already.

Our son, Jimmy, used to FONDLY say “If you ask Aunt Winnie what time it is, she will tell you how to build a clock.”

She loved sharing information and was a good teacher.

She loved helping others.

She was a great listener and thoughtful.

Think of how few of her sentences started with I.

I am thankful for her influence in my life.

She liked to shop.

Remember how she would tighten those lips and raise those eyebrows when she was thinking something over…….looking for flaws?

She might be deciding if the item would have a place in her life.

I remember shopping with her and when she would consider a purchase she might study the item for an hour and then still not decide to make the purchase.

She would just say No Thanks.

She was always such a lady.

Again, remember how she would tighten those lips and raise those eyebrows when she was thinking something over?

Did she do that when she met Manny – looking for flaws?

She decided he fit very nicely in her life.

We are glad she did.

One more time, remember how she would raise those eyebrows when thinking over something we were doing.

Sometimes she did not quite understand or agree with what we were doing because it was foreign to her.

I suspect she did not understand when I married Lamar- 31 years ago with because he had 4 children and I became a step MOM at a young age.

It did not make sense until she met Raina.

I am thankful Winnie had Raina.

Growing up – there were 6 of us.

I will share one funny story.

When we were little, Mom would bathe us or help us bathe.

I had just had my bath and she was drying me off and I said “Mom, who was the best today?’

Mom said, “You were Dear.”

Well, I went right out to where Ginnie and Winnie were and said “Mom said I was the best today.”

Winnie said – but she told me I was the best today.

And Ginnie said – but she told me I was the best today.

So we three marched down the hall and confronted Mom with the conflict and she said…….

“You are all the best today.” Good Answer.

Mom wanted us all exposed to music lessons, dance lessons, Scouting, sports and other activities.

She always said she wanted us to turn out well rounded.

Winnie was well rounded. She was educated, caring and fit in at a camp ground… or… the Ritz Carlton.

As kids ……..we played a lot of board games in between our activities. These days’ kids have computer games and do not interact as much with each other. What a shame.

Last year Lamar and I visited Winnie and Manny in Hudson and she decided we should play Trivial Pursuit – because she was very good at it.

She was winning but then needed to go rest.

It was her turn to WIN.

When she was in high school, she was going to refinish a dressing table.

Her favorite color was RED but she decided to put yellow, white and purple. She taught me purple and yellow look good together.

I am thankful for all the lessons taught and the good example she set and the influence for good that will linger on and on.

Over the years we join ssociations, which seem to have a purpose in our lives.

Sometimes our needs change and we lose interest in associations.

Winnie was a Life Girl Scout.

I have known that for years.

I was thinking of Winnie’s strong character and the words of the Girl Scout pledge kept coming to my mind. It is Winnie.

I will do my best to be

honest and fair,

friendly and helpful,

considerate and caring,

courageous and strong, and

responsible for what I say and do,

And to respect myself and others,

respect authority,

use resources wisely,

make the world a better place, and

be a sister to every Girl Scout.

Winnie did not change her commitment. She was all these things.

To Winnie, success was very important.

She did leave this earth a better place. Winnie, You are a success.

We will probably never be able to separate ourselves from some remembrances, for they will present themselves everywhere we go.

– Perhaps in a beautiful sunset…a quiet lake…a butterfly or bluebird…..Wild geese flying overhead…the gently falling snow…the reading of certain pieces of poetry…family gatherings…& holidays.

These and other things with which we may associate Dear Winnie will serve as silent reminders of the times we spent together.

I am thankful for cherished memories of Winnie.

I am thankful that Winnie will remain in my heart forever.

Geoffrey Bunting

September 22, 2004

I have just learned the sad news of our loss of dear Winnie. I send heartfelt condolences to Manny and her family.

As an overseas cousin I had not seen Winnie for many years but her charm, warmth and effervescent spirit will be with me always. Winnie and I shared a great adventure in 1970 when we travelled together on a PanAm flight from Philidelphia to London where I was starting work for Smith Barney and Winnie was visiting her grandmother, dear Cammie. I remember taking her for a birthday dinner aboard the resaurant ship Hispaniola on the Thames. I had seen a lot of Winnie earlier that summer in New York and can picture her staunchly defending the GSA as we Harding Tech trainees teased her about working there.

I am so glad we had a happy conversation when I visited Boston several years ago and only regret that it was not possible to meet.

I will remember Winnie in my prayers.

lucretia hosmer

September 17, 2004

Our thoughts and prayers will be with you all an this Memorial Service for Winnie Tailer-Chrobak. Our love and prayers will especially be for my beloved cousin Winnie.

Winnie was always a wonderful person with great spirit and joie de vivre. She gave so much of herself to the world around her, to her family and friends and to those who needed help.

I particularly remember Winnie at our family reunions at Bayonet Farm in Holmdel, New Jersey. She was bubbly and fun and at the same time very wise. She was a real listener. When she conversed, she gave you her whole attention and heart. Besides being warm hearted, she was creative in her suggestions and support. You always knew she cared. Winnie was fun to talk to because she was so bright and her mind was always challenged by ideas. She had a strong and truthful character. She would say what she believed with tact and warmth. When hard times came, she was courageous and full of faith and hope. May God bless her today and always.

Steve and our children Alicia, Stephen and Laura join in this message with me. Lucky (Lucretia) Hosmer

Linda Maguire

September 15, 2004

A light has gone out in this world. Winnie brought joy, a loving nature, sweetness, courage, a zest for life, a little bit of zaniness, and a lot of optimism to all of us who were lucky to be her friend. She was genuinely interested in those she loved and her heart knew no bounds. I am going to miss her giggle, her impishness, her sense of adventure, and her devoted spirit.

Betsy and John Akerman

September 15, 2004

Dear Manny,

We were so sorry to hear of Winnie's death. Life is so fleeting, and we were happy when Winnie came into yours. We feel privileged to have known her. It is our hope and prayer that the wonderful memories you hold of her will help you through this time. God bless, Love, John and Betsy

Maggie DeWolf

September 10, 2004

Years ago, when Winnie first came to Boston, she introduced us to yoga, little realizing that her 6'4" cousin, Nick, would get his long legs stuck in one of the positions and a phone call would be necessary to untangle him. We had a good laugh over this incident for many years to come and we will always treasure the sunshine that Winnie added to our lives.

Cindy Tailer Goldsmith

September 3, 2004

Winifred Hope Tailer-Chrobak
November 20, 1947 - August 20, 2004

Our beloved "Winnie" passed away after a two year battle with
brain cancer. She put up a courageous fight and was
victorious in living a miraculous final year traveling,
boating, bird watching and
visiting with her loved ones.

Winnie's sweet heart and nature
remained true until the end.
She did not suffer with pain and
she handled her illness with dignity.

Winnie was always filled with
a zest for life and a good joke.
She loved family, friends, nature,
and serving others.

We are thankful Winnie found and married her best friend Manny. He and his daughter Raina are precious to us and we are glad they are part of our family.

All who knew her will miss her;
especially her laughter and smile.