Nancy Jean Sarkesian

1936 - 2019

Nancy Jean Sarkesian With profound sorrow we announce the passing of Nancy Jean (Whelan) Sarkesian, of Topeka on the 12th of December 2019 at the age of 83. She died peacefully, and on her terms, stoically and silently. Her last years were unkind health wise. Her internal guidance to never show being the aggrieved or victim, played out in her strength and her determination to "suffer in silence" remained till the end.

Nancy is survived by her 4 children, 7 grandchildren and 2 great granddaughters. Her husband, Mike passed last May, two weeks shy of their 65 years of marriage.

Nancy was born, Nancy Jean Whelan to parents Robert & Helene Whelan of Saco, Maine on August 17, 1936. Following her husband's career to the Midwest, not a day went by that she did not long for the beach that she grew up by, across from the dunes. In those Maine years of the 30s & 40s, being far from town, it was cold, damp and far from fashionable. Her father, whom she adored, was a Post-Master. Her working mother a Newspaper typesetter, unusual for the day.

Nancy's family settled York county Maine in the late 1600's. Her relatives fought in every war from the French Indian War through the World Wars and beyond. Letters from the trenches, records of service, even her relative Freedom Warren's civil war musket remains with the family today. Her father's brother was a first marine on Guadalcanal. A cousin died on the Arizona at Pearl harbour. She was fond of dragging her first son in his youth to Maine cemeteries visiting historic head stones.

Nancy was the true embodiment of the calm, strong, wise and understated quintessential New England Yankee. Being a life-long New Englander, culturally, made her a pillar of propriety, steadfastness, and duty that carried her through an era of limitations yet with full devotion to and aspirations for those around her. Always the giver, Nancy never put herself first. Asked in her latter years what would she do differently, without hesitation she would rifle, "be an Archaeologist". She always challenged the why nots of what was possible yet was unquestioningly duty bound at home.

Nancy possessed great intellectual curiosity. Free time meant books, endless books, and a voyage through them into worlds of antiquity, questions of science, the human spirit, and any good "who done it" The awe and privilege of having a mom that was waiting at home discussing the subtlety of a good cookie or the science of a black hole or the destruction of the Republic of Rome cannot be underestimated. Nancy was a true closet historian, using history to understand why, or the questioning of Graham Hancock, disallowing the belief we know all. She knew we did not.

The grace with which she engaged others is sadly from a lost time. The noise and utter contempt our modern society has toward civility was a world she could only assess as advanced dying flames of another to be lost civilization. "I'm glad I will not live to see it". Nancy was always welcoming, colour & status blind, spiritually open. Irrespective of the noise, she never swayed from her way.

Nancy detested the one-sided carnival barkers. Nancy had no time for the shrill, the hypocrites, or the closed minded. Nancy was neither narrow minded nor demanding. For her there was no settled science. Declarations by the all-knowing was where ignorance lived. Her politics was a combination of demand for self-discipline yet with every person's right to choose their own poison. A true Yankee. Disappointment was waved off with a chuckle and sarcastic "you never stop paying for the good deeds you do". She believed in all things in moderation and the Chinese golden rule. She never delivered an unkind word to anyone. Ever.

Nancy possessed a keen wit both questioning and knowing. As a 16-year-old growing up in small town Maine where teens passed time attending one another's church for social activity, she was stopped by an old woman who demanded, "Nancy, I didn't see you in church on Sunday". Nancy answered, "is that why you went?"

Nancy's home was safe harbour for all. Those included her children's friends, their teammates, her husbands' ball player's and colleagues. There was always a meal, always a chat, always a cookie, always a place for a time out to regain a sense of balance. Friends, well known and lesser known, were always an extension of her family. Her balance, calmness, inclusiveness was loved and respected by all.

Nancy had many joys. She enjoyed a tremendous best friendship with her daughter in law Gayla for 40 years. She doated on Haig & Gayla's two sons' born, raised, and living in Topeka. She was immensely proud and pleased with the constant assistance her son Haig gave her, particularly in her declining years. Her last days he was always there. She couldn't tell him. But he knows what it meant.

She enjoyed for decades visiting with her son Michael, his four children, where in Europe her lust of history and ability to see some of the world that she could only read about, came to life. She was enraptured with a present for her 65th birthday attending an outdoor Operatic performance of Rigoletto, a favourite, in the Verona, Italy Colosseum. Fabulous music and antiquity in one stop. In a visit to London, she talked her way through the city and historic sites as if she was her own tour guide, thrilled. "Oh, there's Anne Boleyn!"

A reflection by both of her boys, Michael & Haig, is simple and without question. Nancy was as wonderful, complete, understanding, and influential a mother as any two boys could dream to have.

She was the embodiment of the perfect mom. She would willfully lose at Yahtzee and dutifully reheat dinner on arrival from a late sports practice. Her counsel, if asked, was always brief. Her opinions she kept to herself, expecting her children to know the right way and how to arrive there on their own. Magically, it only took a "look" from her to know you were headed in the wrong direction.

Although passing, we never say goodbye to mom. We are consoled that it was physically overdue and that we know how extraordinary she truly was. The thought of her listening to the old Firestone and Goodyear Christmas classic albums she loved this time of year or arriving home tired on a dark cold evening to the smell of fresh baked rolls and beef stew are eternal manifestations of a mom that lives forever.

Mom, we love you and are relieved you are at last at peace.