Thomas Richardson Cox

1954 - 2022

Thomas Richardson Cox, 68, of Bloomfield, Connecticut passed away on December 20, 2022 surrounded by his family after a brief illness. Tom was born on October 13, 1954 to the late Harry E. H. Cox Jr. and Phebe Tucker Everson in New York, New York. He is survived by his loving wife, Mary Kate Sullivan Cox, his beloved children Katie Cox Pelletier (Mitchell) of Bow, New Hampshire, Tom Cox Jr. of West Hartford, and Ben Cox (Gabrielle) of West Hartford. In addition he leaves his three grandchildren Aaron, Lila and Ian Pelletier, his brother, Edwin T. Cox (Jacquelyne Gardner) and sister, Phebe S. Condon (Robert). Tom was predeceased by his father Harry, his mother Phebe, and his brother, Harry T. Cox. He is survived also by many brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, nieces, nephews, cousins, and truly great friends.

Tom grew up in the Pine Orchard section of Branford and in Darien. After four years at Suffield Academy he went on to graduate with honors from both Georgetown University and the University of Connecticut School of Law. Tom made many important, lifelong friendships in college and law school that endure to this day. While attending UConn Law, Tom met Mary Kate, the love of his life and wife of forty years. Tom and Mary Kate married on February 20, 1982 and were blessed with three children over the next five years. Tom passed on his various passions to his family, teaching his three kids to ski and sail during many memorable adventures (and more than a few misadventures). He was also a lifelong golfer and shot the best round of his life at Carnoustie in Scotland.

Tom epitomized a man who truly lived for his family, determined to be the best husband and father that he could be. Nothing in life gave him greater joy. He was enormously proud of his children. Tom was a beloved grandfather, known to his grandkids as "Grampy" and took an active role in their lives, frequently driving up to New Hampshire for lively visits. He will always be remembered for his big heart, keen mind and unfailing dedication to his family.

Tom had a long and fulfilling career as an attorney. He worked for the United Technologies Corporation after graduating from law school. He then dedicated his career to public service, working for both the City of Hartford and the State of Connecticut. Tom took great pride in his work and was known for his sound judgment, uncompromising integrity and diligent work ethic, which he passed on to his three children. He truly had a calling to serve the people of Connecticut and took his ethical responsibilities as an attorney very seriously. He was the very definition of "zealous advocate."

Tom and Mary Kate lived in the same home in West Hartford for almost 35 years. He tended it inside and out with what some might call an obsession, but he found the work therapeutic. The spacious addition that he designed accommodated all of his kids' friends and nothing gave him greater pleasure than a house full of teenagers or young adults. He was a surrogate father to many.

By 2016, Tom and Mary Kate were both retired and left West Hartford for Old Saybrook. There Tom made new friends through the First Congregational Church of Old Lyme, the Old Lyme Country Club and in his role as Chair of the Old Saybrook Planning Commission. He and Mary Kate enjoyed 5 years there and most importantly, they enjoyed each other's company and found a deeper love and partnership.

In 2021 they returned to the Hartford area, happily settling in the Gillette Ridge community in Bloomfield to be closer to family. He faced his terminal diagnosis last Spring with strength and hope, sharing the details of it with only a few. He thought he had a few years but in fact he had only a few months remaining. He bought a 32' sailboat in August, renaming it Evening Star, and spent the next 2 months rigging it for "geezer sailing." He and Mary Kate spent 21 nights aboard, only abandoning the effort in mid October when the temperature below dropped to the mid 40's.

Husband, father, sailor, public servant, honest citizen, good man - he excelled at all of these roles and would find this recitation acutely embarrassing. He was born completely incapable of self promotion. He will be missed.

Calling hours will take place on Thursday, December 29, 2022 from 4-7 p.m. at the Molloy Funeral Home in West Hartford, followed by a funeral service at Asylum Hill Congregational Church in Hartford on Friday, December 30, 2022 at 11am. A private burial service will take place at Dellwood cemetery in Manchester, VT in 2023. Online expressions of sympathy may be made at www.molloyfuneralhome.com