Shirley Agnes Grade

1925 - 2021

Shirley Agnes Grade

Shirley Agnes Grade (nee Bothwick) passed away peacefully on January 13, 2021 surrounded by her daughters Jean, Margaret, Mary, and Johanna in Olema, California, where she had lived for the last year. Born in Rochester, New York on October 3, 1925, Shirley spent most of her life in Elm Grove, Wisconsin.

She was proceeded in death by her husband, Dr. John O. Grade, and three of her sons, Michael, Thomas, and Sam. She is survived by sons Matthew, Benjamin (Sandy), Andrew (Patricia), and Charles (Barbara) and daughters Johanna (Jack), Margaret (Daniel), Mary (Peter), and Jean.

Shirley was graced with 22 grandchildren: John, Ben, Ko, Michael, Megan, Michael, Allison, Ben, Sarah, Liz, Liam, Madeline, Travis, Elly, Neenah, Cece, Finola, Tavish, Dylan, Brighin, Coco, and Django. She has eight great grandchildren: Micaela, Charlie, Natalia, Sam, Stephen, Emily, Jack, and her newest angel, Twila Lee. She delighted in her grandchildren and they showered her with love. Other loving family members include Cat and Kenneth Grade, Emily Grade, Marian Kane, and the late Floyd Miller.

Shirley lived her 95 years to the fullest, moving to Milwaukee in 1943 on a leap of faith to attend Marquette University, where she met an aspiring medical student, John Oscar Grade from Menasha. She studied Journalism and was proud to receive her MRS degree later, after the couple married in 1947 and started their family with Sam while living on 32nd St in Milwaukee. She went on have 12 children, 10 of them surviving into adulthood. They relished their many years in Elm Grove, living in 4 different houses (the primary family home was a beautiful white farmhouse at 14800 Walters Ct) with her husband Jack serving as the village's doctor for 40 years.

Shirley lived in Elm Grove during its Golden Age, when having a family of ten was par for the course; she was well known for her social graces and ability to provide hospitality and humor. She had a way with words and a sharp wit. She was not conventional. She was way ahead of her time in so many ways; recycling, composting, organic gardening in the 1960's as just one example. She was eclectic before the word was invented. She started a business in 1970 called The Yarn House, which was originally within the Walters Ct home before moving to the corner of Watertown Plank and Elm Grove Rd. The business was wildly successful, both as a place to find rare wools and other unusual goods, as well as a place to tackle her customers latest projects and discuss the village news ("cluck cluck"). Shirley loved her loyal and talented employees and customers for over 40 years.

Shirley delighted in meeting interesting and unique people, and developed deep, lifelong relationships with families such as the MacRae's, the Denny's, the Rice's, the Rauh's, the Rohrsen-Rose's, the Deardorf's, the Albrecht's, the Sheahan's, the Varebrooks, the Phillips, the Klieger's, the Abshire's, the Heuler's, the Juech's, the Slotterback's, the Kresl's, Marissa Jablonski, the McBride's, the Hartnett's --but also many other individuals and families as well as "roomers" at her homes that became family (Elsa Rose, Folke, Inca, Frauke, Silke, Andreas, George, and tall Ken). She did many volunteer activities over the years, most recently ministering to those in juvenile detention by bringing a retired priest there each Sunday for 11 years. She loved the underdog.

She did not wither with challenges; she developed her strong, resilient faith while growing up during The Great Depression without a father, nurtured by her mother Agnes, her Uncle Bill, sisters Jean and Ellie and the nuns at Mercy High School in Rochester. Tragedy struck in 1961, when her son Michael died unexpectantly at 6 weeks old, and again in 1987 when her husband died suddenly at age 63. She continued to lead her family through these hurdles, and even after suffering a stroke in 2005 that severely affected her vision and memory, she continued to live independently on Fairfax until 2016. She was helped tremendously to stay independent by meeting Floyd Miller, an eligible 86 year old wooden needlemaker who happened to be deaf, at The Yarn House. He helped her see, she helped him hear, and together they had a seeming lifetime of adventures facilitated by family friend Chris Hartnett.

As she aged, Shirley continued to be supported by many, most notably her youngest daughter Jean, a talented veterinarian who spent 15 years as a missionary in Uganda. Over the last decade, Jean has dedicated her life to providing Shirley with love and care, as well as sparking countless spontaneous adventures that they loved so. Shirley relished the many trips she took with her 4 daughters, culminating in the move to Marin County, where her girls ministered to her flawlessly until she met The Lord gloriously on January 13.

In lieu of flowers, please say three Hail Mary's and an Our Father for the three people in your life who need it the most.

Mass and burial at St. Mary's Visitation Church in Elm Grove Wed., January 27th at 10:30am.