Adrian Despres

Adrian Despres
February 10, 1941 - September 19, 2022
Raleigh, North Carolina - Dad's legacy runs deep, survived in passing by five of his children. Margie, Tom, Adrian Jr, Kris and Greg with their families continue that legacy surviving dearly departed wife Gloria and oldest son Joe. There are entirely too many family names to include here, but it is worth mentioning the saints (or perhaps masochists?) that have chosen to marry into this family. Kudos to you, Chuck, Maryann, Cindy, Lisa, Bob and Allison for joining in on this lifetime of venture enriching that legacy. I know that we would all say that we married-up in each of our cases and Dad would often say that our family is enriched because of all of you. While we may have all chosen different paths to carry-on what he started, we never strayed far from the important lessons he taught us. His legacy continues through eighteen amazing grandchildren and five great-grandchildren.
Adrian's (AKA Ace) legacy also runs deep in Charleston, West Virginia, where in high school he met Gloria (AKA Peaches – I still don't know what that means nor will I ever want to know). She helped straighten him out and with a purpose beyond the streets and sports, the family was off and running. Soon arrived lots of children in short a period-of-time possibly before they even knew why it was happening. ?
Ace was a tough dude. He took on this new family challenge in ways that few could, redirecting his focus from sports where he continues to hold the record for free-throw shooting in Kanawha Valley while at Charleston Catholic High School. His experiences growing up on the courts and the football field with Joe Donahoe kept him on his toes. He and Mom remained friends for life with both Joe and Bev.
He was a friend to many and a mentor to the lucky ones, imparting his wisdom often while finding a way to pat those around him on the back so when the upper-cut came it didn't feel bad at all. He was balanced in the way he challenged his family and those around him to excel. He's a hard act to follow.
Dad was ahead of the curve and looked to excel at everything he did. When most people from his generation were getting used to new technologies, Dad was designing the website for the class of '59. When Lean Procurement was only a concept, he used those concepts to design and implement methodologies to become more competitive. In time, he became known as the "Father of Lean Procurement" for the immeasurable value he added in multiple successful companies and ventures. When most people retiring would settle for taking it easy, Dad was busy tearing down tobacco barns, using the wood to make barn-wood furniture. When most NC State WolfPack fans would settle for the News and Observer sports updates, Dad would keep up with Rivals.com to follow the latest news on football recruits. Ok, perhaps that last one was a bit excessive. But that was Dad. Passion and excellence. Measure twice and cut once. Just ask his best friend, Bob Masini. He'll tell you all about it. He still wasn't able to move Dad away from the Duke side in hoops, though, but at least he was a Wolfpack fan in a more manly sport like football. And here we all thought that was just a phase. ?
Dad was the best coach I have ever played for. He focused on the process and never on the outcome. I never once heard him say "we need to win this game". He would say "let's do the best we possibly can, leave it all out there and accept the outcome". He was able to speak to the heart of his players, bring them to levels that they would not have achieved otherwise.
He had a life-changing moment when he went to hear one of his sons preach at a big event at Carowinds amusement park. He sat in the front row, and after hearing the message, he responded to the Gospel invitation and surrendered his life to Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior with a heartfelt prayer. Adrian's newfound love for the Lord greatly impacted the last third of his life and led to many changes, including seeking out a faith community that he eventually found in the Holy Hackers. They were an important group of mentors, upstanding citizens and much better-than-average golfers. They accepted him as one of their own and helped him grow spiritually while feeding his passion for competition. In 2021, he won their yearly tournament, shooting 3-strokes better than his age. To Bob, Jim, Jack, Don and the rest of that special group you all brought a pleasure and comfort to him and we all thank you for being there for him these last several years.
Dad took the most pleasure in spending time with his family. Yearly Thanksgiving reunions were a staple in the way we got together. He and Mom would also travel from home-to-home, something he continued to do after Mom passed a few years back. All who knew him, family and friends, are very grateful and uniquely blessed to have had him with us for 81+ years, a life well-lived and deserving of the rest his is now enjoying.