Ben Kozak

Ben Kozak

Ben Kozak Obituary

Published by Legacy Remembers from Mar. 21 to Mar. 22, 2005.
KOZAK, Ben William May 31, 1962 March 19, 2005 Suddenly and tragically, Ben and his dog, Theo, were killed on Carling Avenue on Friday evening. Dearly loved son of William and Irma Kozak of Niagara Falls, Ont. Cherished brother of Arden Kozak of St. Catherines, Ont. Born and raised in Niagara Falls, Ben received his B.B.A. degree from Wilfred Laurier University, Waterloo in 1985 and his B.Sc. degree in Marine Biology from Dalhousie University in 1993. Ben lived and worked in Halifax for ten years. He moved to Ottawa in 2001 where he currently worked for the Canadian Aids Society as Director of Finance and Administration. He will be sorely missed by his many friends and co-workers. In keeping with Ben's wishes, cremation has taken place. A Celebration of Bens life will be held at a later date at the Patterson Funeral Home 6062 Main Street, Niagara Falls. If desired donations to the Companion Animal Trust Atlantic Veterinary College, University of P.E.I. may be made in Ben's memory or to the charity of your choice.

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May 31, 2024

Arden Kozak posted to the memorial.

May 31, 2024

Chris Aucoin posted to the memorial.

May 31, 2024

Steve Oberman posted to the memorial.

166 Entries

Arden Kozak

May 31, 2024

Happy Birthday Ben,
Today marks your 62nd birthday. A sunny day with a perfect blue sky!
At the lake this morning, there was a beautiful bunch of bright yellow buttercups growing out of the sand. This reminded me of our childhood in Port Robinson. How we used to hold them under each others chins-to see if we liked butter. I remember how much it tickled, and made us laugh. And yellow is your favourite colour. I was so blessed to have you as my big brother,
As I sang "happy birthday" 3 times, the distant clouds, looked like 2 dogs happily chasing each other over the lake. A wonderful sign that you liked my offering of incense and chocolate.
You are remembered with love, and a smile, each and every day.
You are immeasurably missed.
May your spirit be happy, and at peace.
Love, Love, Love;
Arden (and Ron too!)

Chris Aucoin

May 31, 2024

Your birthday again... and the anniversary of when we met in 1991 (though I wouldn't find out it was your birthday till days later).

You always made a big deal about birthdays: mine, yours ... the dogs´. Birthdays are not the same since you left us all... and since your passing, birthdays have been hard for me to celebrate in the usual sense. I usually mark them quietly and with simple ritual. A key aspect to your and my birthdays is missing you yet again.

Love as always.
Your BB

Steve Oberman

May 31, 2024

May 31, 2024

Happy Birthday Ben! Thinking of you on this beautiful day! You are always missed and thought of very often!

Steve

Arden Kozak

December 21, 2023

My beloved brother,
The wheel of the year has turned once again...it is Winter Solstice.
I find this season bittersweet. As people gather with family and friends, I keenly feel your absence. It has a razor-sharpness to it this year. You are remembered every day, and happy memories of you give me strength.
May your spirit be free, happy, and at peace.
Love, love, love,
Arden, and Ron
xoxo

Arden Kozak

May 31, 2023

Today would have been your 61st Birthday.
The sunrise was a glorious gold. Blue skies and warm sunshine for your special, but bittersweet, day.
I went to the lake with dog treats for Rex and Theo. Dark chocolate for you. I found a piece of tree bark to set these offerings on, lit a stick of Lemongrass incense, and sang Happy Birthday 3 times. A south breeze began to ripple the water.
In awe, I watched 5 fish swim from the east toward me. Then a very large pike came racing after them.
The bark carrying the offerings floated toward the east, like a little ship with incense smoke scenting its way.
Thank you for these signs, that let me know you are near. They are a great comfort to me.

Ben, you are missed, and lovingly remembered every day. May your spirit be at peace, and surrounded by love. Kiss Rex and Theo for me.
Love you, and miss you, so very much,
Arden, and Ron xoxo

Bruce Beal

March 19, 2023

can't believe it's been 18 years Ben, I do think of you often and what an amazing friend you were. I miss you.

Chris Aucoin

March 18, 2023

Eighteen years ago today... my world change irreparably.

I still miss you so much. Chin scratches to Rex and Theo... and to Miss E. if you see her.

Love as always,
Your BB

Steve

December 21, 2022

Merry Christmas Ben! I am so sorry I missed your milestone birthday. My father was very ill at that time. Hopefully, you guys have conncected since he left. Olivia too, remember when I bought her first album on one of our bikes rides to Sam's? Both my parents are with you now and as you know, they cared very much for you. Those were great years and I have so many memories that time will never erase. So as always, I miss you loads and think of you often. I know I will see you again one day!
Love, Steve

Arden Kozak

December 20, 2022

Ben,
Another Solstice has arrived. And part of me still fidgets, with feelings, that tell me I have forgotten to do something. That there's a gift to gather, and a phone call I have to make.
I realize, again, that I have picked up the phone to call you. I have longed to put a few of your favourite things together, wrap them, and call them a "gift". I have been longing to talk to you, and have you answer me.
At this time when families gather, I become even more aware of the gaping void in my own family.
You and I would celebrate the return of longer, sunnier days. I know they are on the way.
I carry you in my heart, and miss you so very much.
You are remembered every day.
May the love and peace, of the many people who love and remember you, surround your spirit, always.
Love you,
Arden, and Ron too
xoxoxoxo

Arden Kozak

May 31, 2022

Happy 60th Birthday Ben,

What a beautiful, sunny, warm day for your birthday today.
I was guided to the beach by a large yellow and black butterfly ( your favourite colour...yellow). Amazing yellow flowers peppered the sand where I walked to the water's edge. I lit some incense, sent chocolate out to the lake, and sang happy birthday 6 times. A flock of geese, guiding their young, bobbed upon tiny waves. They were murmuring softly amongst themselves. I found their voices comforting.
So many reminders of you, and our bond.
Remembering, and sending you love every day.
Be at peace.
Kiss Rex and Theo for me.
Love always,
Arden (and Ron too!) xoxo

Chris Aucoin

May 31, 2022

Today you would have been 60.

You always made a big deal about birthdays: mine, yours the dogs’. You always made sure that even the dogs got a cake on theirs! I first met you on your birthday in 1991 though not learning that fact till a few weeks later. Even after you left for Ottawa, you came back so we could celebrate your 40th together.

Since your passing, birthdays have been hard for me to celebrate in the usual sense. I usually mark them quietly and with simple ritual. Today I’ll do that again – but, because it’s your 60th, maybe with something extra... something a little special. I’ll have to figure out what that means, so feel free to send some inspiration.

A key aspect to your and my birthdays is missing you yet again.

Happy Birthday Tiger.
Love, as always,
BB

Arden Kozak

December 21, 2021

Hi Ben,
Its another winter Solstice without you here.
This sunny, hushed, and brief day, has been full of memories of our shared history of holiday seasons.
So, its been a day of mixed emotions. And feeling like half of me is missing. This is a feeling I have learned to ignore, but today, I just can't.
The moon-rises have been so beautiful this weekend, and tonight was no exception.
You are remembered, and always loved.
Be at Peace. Kiss Theo and Rex for me.
Love always,
Arden (and Ron too) xoxo

Bruce Beal

June 1, 2021

Happy Birthday Ben my dear friend. Missing you always

Arden Kozak

May 31, 2021

Ben,
Today would have been your 59th birthday.
What a beautiful spring day it is. Lots of sunshine, blue skies, warm with a cool breeze scented with Lilac and Lilly of the Valley. Mom said the weather was exactly like this on the day you were born.
I am feeling really sad and weepy today, I miss the way that you could make me laugh, and lighten my heart like nobody else could.
Ron and I walked to the lake with our offerings of dog treats, chocolate, and incense. We sang "happy birthday" three times. I cried through the whole ritual. I still felt heavy-hearted on the way back home. Later in the day, i was driving on the highway and saw a vintage "hippy" Volkswagen van, in my favourite colour...orange! My heart warmed, and I was smiling. There's always a sign from you. I am so grateful.
You are remembered every day, sorely missed, and deeply loved.
Peace, love, and more love,
Arden (and Ron too!)
xoxo

Steve Oberman

May 31, 2021

Happy 59th Birthday Ben! Thinking of you today and missing you as well.

Chris Aucoin

May 31, 2021

Happy Birthday Tiger.
Thirty years tonight that we first met ...
Will raise a glass to you this evening.
Love Your BB

Arden Mary Kozak

December 31, 2020

Ben,
The wheel of the year continues to gently turn; it's another New Year's eve.
Lately, when I have been out driving, I have noticed many signs from you. A sportscar in a shade of bright yellow, your favourite colour, pulled ahead of me. The license plate number had the letters BKWM included in it...in that order.
Since then, and even today, many cars are appearing with BENK, BWK, BKZ, etc.
I feel that you are sending messages of your love and guidance.
Thank you, so much for these signs.
May your spirit feel the love and peace that I send to you.

Love, Love, and Peace to you, my sweet Brother,
Arden ( and Ron too!) xoxo

Chris Aucoin

June 10, 2020

Happy Anniversary Tiger
I remember the hot sun, that oceanside hike, fussing over your dog... our chance meeting. The beginning of something so unexpected.
Love today and always,
BB

Arden Kozak

June 8, 2020

Ben, May 31st would have been your 58th Birthday.
Ron and I went to the lake. The sky was a perfect clear blue, with fluffy white clouds.
We lit some incense, offered dark chocolate to the waves, and sang "Happy Birthday" 3 times.
We walked up the beach for a few minutes and found 3 small painted rocks in the sand.
One was painted in your favourite colour (yellow) and it had the word "Believe" painted in red on it. The next rock was painted purple and it read "smile" in yellow letters. The next rock was red with the word "sing" in yellow letters!
Music is a big part of your soul, and you loved to sing. I believe that your spirit is always close to me, and that knowing/feeling makes me smile...in spite of the pain of missing you.
I miss you and remember you, every day,
May the love from my heart, and from the hearts of all who remember you, surround you and give you peace.
Love, Love, Love,
Arden (and Ron too!) xoxoxo

Bruce Beal

June 3, 2020

Hey Ben, a belated Happy Birthday, I so miss talking to you, but every now and then I see you in my dreams and you're always in my memories.

Steve

June 2, 2020

Happy 58th Birthday Ben! It was 50 years ago that I missed your birthday party because I had the measles. You brought cake over to my house afterwards. Time sure moves quickly.....

Chris Aucoin

May 31, 2020

Happy Birthday Tiger
Twenty nine years ago tonight we first met. A week later we started a relationship that changed my life forever.
I made it out to the ocean today and left a message for you written in the sand. Please give chin scratches to Rex and Theo for me - and Enna who shared my home after you were gone if you see her.
Love as always,
BB

Bruce Beal

March 21, 2020

The time has passed so quickly, I think of you often, I miss your friendship. Always in my memories

Tony Burnett

March 20, 2020

WOW! It is fifteen years and feels just like yesterday. How I miss hearing your voice and reading your notes. On Wednesday past, you were on my mind all day. I went into my email to read once again the last note you sent, just two weeks before that fateful day. It was filled with so much joy, hope and happiness. Thank you for the memories. Love you.

March 20, 2020

It's hard to believe that fifteen years have passed since you left us. Thinking of you today.

Charles Richard Patenaude

March 19, 2020

It's difficult to comprehend that you have been gone this long, my friend. May your soul be at rest and your spirit be free.

Arden Kozak

January 1, 2020

Ben,
Its amazing that the wheel of the year has turned once again. It's 2020.There is a part of my heart that still expects to hear your voice, at midnight, on new year's eve. That phone call was so important. It was a way of sharing the excitement of welcoming a brand new year, no matter how many provinces/kilometers separated us. You are so, so sorely missed.
You are remembered with love and gratitude, every day. xo
Love and peace,
Arden (and Ron too)

Steve O

August 23, 2019

I'm far away in the Seychelles and a song from our childhood was played and made me think of you, as I so often do. I miss you!

Steve from Niagara Falls

Tony Burnett

June 7, 2019

Hey Ben, I may have missed your birthday but you are never far from my thoughts. You have come to mind a lot lately. Love you and miss you.

Bruce Beal

June 1, 2019

Hey Ben, thinking of you om your birthday (just missed it).

Mike

June 1, 2019

Happy Birthday, Ben.
Always, Mike

Chris Aucoin

May 31, 2019

Happy Birthday Tiger...
28 years ago tonight - also a Friday night - we met for the first time.
Miss you as always.
Love BB

Arden Kozak

May 31, 2019

Ben,
This sunny, fragrant, and perfect spring day, marks what would have been your 57th birthday.
I went to the beach with dog treats, chocolate and incense. Beautiful Terns were fishing in the waves and enjoying the breeze.
I stood in the cold waves singing happy birthday and sent the treats floating. As I left the water, I looked down to find a heart-shaped rock at my big toe! Thank you for letting me know you are with me! I have been so blessed to have such a protective, loving, brother.
You are remembered with love and gratitude every day.
Happy Birthday Ben.
Love, love, love-
Arden (and Ron too!)

Mike

March 22, 2019

I have no new words to write...I've given them to you and too many others who have gone over the years.
Just know that I love and miss you. Always.
-M

Bruce Beal

March 21, 2019

Hey Ben, you will always be a big part of my life and will always be remembered. Miss you

March 19, 2019

May your spirit always shine. Missed.

Arden

February 1, 2019

Ben;
The bright morning light is sparkling on the snow. Long shadows are cast by the strengthening Imbolc sunshine. Clear and blue is the sky in this deep cold.
I send the gratitude, joy, and peace of this moment to your bright spirit.

Sending you love everyday.
Missing you everyday.
From my heart,
Arden xo (and Ron too)

ASHe

January 23, 2019

It has been quite sometime when we looked into each others heart and knew we should be close friends. I regret not having the time to say how much you touched my soul. Miss you and I know you are never far away... big hugs and love ASHe

January 9, 2019

I heard this song today....and it reminder me of you.......rest my friend.

Ben and Rex: summer 1995

Chris Aucoin

June 9, 2018

Twenty seven years ago today I went for a hike past Crystal Crescent Beach... past Deep Cove... and spotted an handsome dog which I stopped to play with ... and fell in love with his owner.

Recently re-discovered this pic of you and Rex in your parents back garden (I think) the summer of 1995 before you came back to Nova Scotia the third time

Happy Anniversary Tiger.
Miss you still.
Love B.B.

June 4, 2018

I'll never forget you and will always miss you.

Your Connecticut Bud.

Bruce Beal

June 3, 2018

A belated Happy Birthday Ben, sorry, I was out of town. Miss you lots. Was in Hawaii earlier this year and thought of you there knowing how much you enjoyed your time there. Always in my memories.

Arden Kozak

May 31, 2018

Happy Birthday Ben.
This day, May 31st,would have been the celebration of your 56th year.

As I walked to the lake this morning(while getting sprinkled with light rain) I was thinking of how lucky we were to be siblings.
Until you were gone,I had no idea how much we influenced each other, how we were such important threads in the fabric of each others lives. The old cliché is true about hindsight being 20/20.
With deep gratitude for your life, I sang "happy birthday" to you on the shores of lake Erie. I offered the waves some dark chocolate, dog treats, and incense...and the sun slid out from dark rain clouds! The sky began to clear in the west, to a bright blue!
I shouted a big "thank-you Ben!" And as I turned to leave the beach, 16 Canada Geese flew over me...Wow.
It dawned on me that, for as long as I live, you will remain in the fabric of my life.
I miss you, and love you.
I remember you every day.
Be free and at peace.

Love, love, love,
Arden (and Ron too!)

luc Dallaire

March 30, 2018

I still think at you love you Luc

Arden Kozak

December 21, 2017

Ben,
Another winter solstice arrived on this cold, sunny morning. The sky was an incredible blue, the sunrise was amazing. Long rolling waves played in the lake.
I am remembering you, and of course, missing you. I am so grateful for all of the memories of our time together. They help me get through times like this.
I hope your spirit is happy, free, and at peace.
You are in my heart always, my thoughts daily, and I hope you feel my love.
Love, Love, Love,
Arden (and Ron too!) xoxoxoxoxoxo

Bruce Beal

May 31, 2017

Ben, thinking of you on this day and always will

Arden Kozak

May 30, 2017

Ben,
The clouds just parted(its been a rainy grey morning) and the sun is shining upon my face as I write this Birthday memorial. The sun feels like the warmth of your smile, and the comfort of our siblinghood. Tomorrow(31st) we would have been celebrating your 55th Birthday. Of course, there are tears...the sharp sting of your absence never dulls. I choose to celebrate the loving, protective, fun, and at times annoying brother I was blessed to have. I am so grateful for your birth, our years together, and our unbreakable bond.
Meet me at the lake, I will sing to you there, with dog treats and dark chocolate.
May you be happy and at peace.
You are in my heart always, my thoughts daily, and I hope you feel my love.
Love, Love, Love,
Arden ( and Ron too!)xoxxooxx

Bruce Beal

March 19, 2017

WOW 12 years, you had a lasting impact on all who new you. Miss you my friend

C. Richard Patenaude, Jr.

March 19, 2017

Missing you always....

Chris Aucoin

March 18, 2017

12 years ago today. And my heart is broken over your passing once more. Miss you.

Love as always.
B.B.

Bruce Beal

December 23, 2016

Ben my dear friend, haven't forgotten nor will I. Miss you

C. Richard Patenaude

December 22, 2016

Ben...have been thinking of you more then usual lately. Guess it's the time of year..not sure. Still miss you dearly and wonder what life now would have been like had you not moved on....may your spirit be at rest...love ya.

Arden Kozak

December 21, 2016

Ben, another Winter Solstice is here. Ron and I watched the sun rise through the clouds. The days will slowly begin to lengthen with the return of the light. Memories of our Solstices and Christmas' bring tears and smiles to me. I have so many good memories... Thank you for them. My heart still aches- I miss you everyday.
May your free and wild spirit be at peace, and feel the love, that I and so many others send.
Loving you always,
Arden and Ron xoxo

Ben and Theo + 40th Birthday cheescake

Chris Aucoin

May 31, 2016

Happy Birthday Tiger.

Twenty five years ago today we met for the first time. Seems like a century ago in some ways now and like yesterday in others. I first spotted you at that charity movie screening at the old Wormwoods Cinema, and made sure I got to meet you at the reception after. You had only moved to Halifax the week before, and I didn't know then that that night was your birthday, but we'd spend more than the next decade of your birthdays together (even a few after we split up).

You always made a big deal about birthdays: yours, mine, Rex's, then later Theo's Mostly they were private, at home, affairs: home-made cakes (sometime home-made cheesecakes) and just you, me and the dog except for your birthday the year Rex died. That year I planned that big surprise party for you hoping it would keep your mind off of Rex's absence In the ten years we were together, it was the only time we had a crowd of people in our home.

Anyway, miss you much, now and ever.
Love, B.B.

Arden Kozak

May 28, 2016

Happy Early Birthday Ben,
I will be up north, for a girls getaway, on the 31st this year.
We will be singing "Happy Birthday" to you on the shores beautiful of Coon lake. Out in nature (with dark chocolate) I know we will feel your presence.
Its hard to believe that this would have been your 54th birthday. Eleven birthdays without you.
I treasure the memories of the 40 birthdays that we shared. How the sweet smells of lilacs, and home-made frosting for your cake would waft through the house. Later in our lives; the gifts sent by mail and the phone calls with singing.
Words will never describe how much I miss you. I am so deeply grateful to have been born with you as my brother.
Remembering you with love, every day xoxoxo
Arden (and Ron too)

March 22, 2016

OMG I cant believe it's been 11 years now. You're never far from my thoughts my dear friend. We all miss you so much

Bruce Beal

Jim Turner

March 19, 2016

Miss you, Man

Richard Patenaude

March 19, 2016

Miss you, my good friend....

Chris Aucoin

March 18, 2016

Dear Ben.

Eleven years ago tonight you left us for good seems like an eternity has passed since then, though sometimes it's just like it was yesterday. You've been on my mind a lot the past few months - more than for some time. You've even started appearing in my dreams again. I'm not sure what to make of that yet.

Eleven years ago tonight (also a Friday evening) I was inspired out of nowhere to sort through more than a decade's worth of cards and letters from you... At that point you and I had been parted for four years and I had convinced myself I had moved on. I sorted through the big pile (we exchanged a LOT of greeting cards), keeping a couple of special cards and letters, and putting the rest into my recycling.

The next day I got the phone call. The very hour I decided to sort through all those cards - those memories - was the hour you and Theo didn't make it across that street in Ottawa. After I got the news I went back and retrieved all those cards and letters from my recycling. I have them still, though I've not looked at them in a very long time. I would discover when sorting through your Ottawa home that you had kept all of my cards and letters too...

I still have many of your plants around me even though I've moved twice from what had been our home. The "holiday cactus" I bought you in December 1991 is still here and likes the small west-facing window overlooking my bed. The once half-dead elephant's foot palm you salvaged from the curb one spring (as nearby students were moving out at the end of term) is a focal point of my living room - as it has been since you first brought it home, and brought it back to life.

The cycles of life seem more apparent in some ways now more than ever. Part of that is that, as I get older, I've been saying goodbye to more and more people. However, people I had lost touch with have come back into my life too; sometimes in surprising ways. And people a generation my junior have become important to me in other surprising ways; reminding me of things I'd had forgotten I knew

With this anniversary approaching I've been thinking a lot about this past eleven years, and how much my life has changed. One thing that hasn't is that I still love you. However, in the past decade I've also grown to love two other men. While neither relationship worked out as I might have wanted it to, I haven't given up hope that some day I'll find someone who will love me back as much as I love him. If you know who he is, let me know. :-)

Anyway, tonight I salute you and I in a toast: both looking back and remembering - and also looking forward: to loved ones lost, and for loves yet to be found.

Good night Tiger.
Love, BB

Arden Kozak

December 31, 2015

Ben,
Another year is passing, and a new one beginning. The wheel of the year gently turns once again.
Time has not dulled the pain of missing you. Iam continuing to learn to live, in this world, without your humour, gentle guidance, and understanding.
I thank you for the many times, this year, that I felt your love and that your spirit was close to me.
I remember running barefoot out into the snow at the stroke of midnight, screaming" happy new year!". I'm sure the neighbours were impressed! What a happy memory!
You are always remembered, missed, and loved.
Peace and love,
Arden xoxo

C. Richard Patenaude

June 1, 2015

Ben, sorry I forgot your birthday. I'm sure your spirit celebrated it to the best. My mother passed recently and we sent her spirit on it's flight on May 28th, one day prior to her 92nd birthday...just before yours. (Yes, she too was a Gemini.) If you get a chance, please look for her spirit and show her around. She always enjoyed meeting my friends. And if it's not too much to as you, give her a warm hug for me. Thanks.

Arden Kozak

May 31, 2015

Today marks, what would have been, your 53rd Birthday.
Today is cold, with rain, and grey skies. But when I sang happy birthday 3 times, the sun peeked out, just for a moment, then went into hiding again. Thank you for the brief sun-shower.
My heart is heavy with missing you.
May you be at peace, in a beautiful place where the sun always shines.
Loving you, missing you, and always remembering your well-lived life,
Arden and Ron xoxo

Chris Aucoin

May 31, 2015

Happy Birthday Tiger. Twenty four years today since we first met.

I just got back from a sunny Sunday walk down to the Northwest Arm to look out over the water and think about you. While there's rain forecast for later today it's beautiful right now. Wish you were here to enjoy it with me.
Love as always, BB

Bruce Beal

March 20, 2015

You are still and always will be in my thoughts and memories

Charles Richard Patenaude

March 19, 2015

Ben....thinking of you on this anniversary and believe you were with me today. While on my way to Rhode Island, I had a very close call with a driver driving the wrong way on the interstate. I can't believe how close I came to being history. Like you, in a moment it can be all taken away by an irresponsible act.
I think of you often, my friend..bud...and perhaps my guardian angel. Miss you more than words can express. Love you always.

Ben Takes Rex For A Wlak - by Dell Brown

Chris Aucoin

March 18, 2015

Ten years ago today (a Friday evening) I was inspired out of nowhere to sort through more than a decade's worth of cards and letters from Ben. At that point we had been parted for four years and I had convinced myself I had moved on. I sorted through the big pile (we exchanged a LOT of greeting cards for all kinds of reasons), keeping a couple of special cards and letters, and putting the rest into my recycling.

The next day I got the phone call. The very hour I decided to sort through all those cards - those memories - was the hour Ben was run down by a drunk driver in an Ottawa crosswalk with our dog Theo (we were taking turns having custody). After I got the news I went back and retrieved all those cards and letters from my recycling. I have them still. (I would discover when sorting through Ben's Ottawa home that he had kept all of my cards and letters to him also)

With this anniversary approaching I've been thinking a lot about this past ten years. How much my life has changed. One things that hasn't is that I still love Ben. But in the ten years' since I've also grown to love two other men. While neither relationship worked out as I might have wanted it to, I haven't given up hope that some day I'll find another man who will love me back as much as I love him who will mean as much to me as Ben did. I know he'd want that for me.

So, I'll make a toast this evening to loved ones lost, and loves yet to be found.

Miss you Tiger. Hugs to the Rex and Theo (and Enna too - five years this week since saying goodbye to her as well).
Namaste

Bruce Beal

December 22, 2014

Hey Ben thinking of you at this time of year.....missing you

Arden Kozak

December 20, 2014

I am remembering the years of Christmas and New Years celebrations we had enjoyed as children. It was a fun time with family. We could be so goofy! Those memories never fail to make me smile. Thank you for them.

Another Winter Solstice is upon us...the wheel of the year gently turns.
We, as adults, celebrated Solstice; when the longest night gives way to a slow, hope-filled return of the sun.

Ben, you are in my thoughts every day. Your memory lives in my heart.
Until we meet again, may you feel my love, and be at peace.
Arden ( and Ron too)xoxoxoxo

Arden Kozak

June 1, 2014

Happy Birthday Ben,
52 years ago you were born. I was fortunate enough to come along 2 years and 6 days later- and be born as your sister.
In honour of your birthday, yesterday, we went canoeing.
It was a perfect spring day, sunny, warm, blues skies, and a cool breeze. Mom said the weather was exactly like the day you were born.
We offered chocolate, dog treats and incense to the lake. We sang " Happy Birthday" 3 times. A blue heron, and a green heron, flew out from amongst the reeds. A pair of swans appeared, and a beaver slapped it's tail.
Nature speaks the language of sprit- thank you for your messages.
The pain of missing you remains.
I remember you each and every day.
Now Loki has joined you, Theo and Rexy...I hope he behaves. He was always a bit of a handful.
Until we meet again, may you feel my love, and be at peace,
Arden ( and Ron too) xoxoxoxo

Mike

May 9, 2014

Packing up my home of 6 years, about to enter a new stage of my life...I came across the Proud Lives clip in an issue of Xtra, announcing your passing. Hard to believe it's been 9 years! Now Patrick is gone too (almost 4 years). You were both such influences on my life, truly good people. I wonder if I would have made better decisions if the two of you were there to offer advice. Probably not; I've always been too bull-headed for my own good. In any case, I'll resist the temptation to ramble on. Ben, I love you and miss you.

Bruce

March 18, 2014

Hey Ben you are never far from my thoughts my friend, miss you

March 18, 2014

Hey Tiger. Been thinking about you a lot lately. Can't find the words to explain why. Love as always, BB.

C. Richard Patenaude

March 17, 2014

Difficult to believe that it's been nearly nine years....miss you my friend.

Arden Kozak

December 21, 2013

With love and remembrance,
Arden and Ron

Arden Kozak

December 21, 2013

Ben,
I am remembering our Winter Solstices, and Christmases together.
Remembering you, and missing you, as the wheel of the year gently turns.
Peace to your beautiful spirit.
With all my love and gratitude,
Arden xoxo

Tony Burnett

June 3, 2013

I am reminded of you often. My life changed forever because of you. To have known you and be able to call you 'friend' is to say I am blessed.

June 1, 2013

Missing you, my friend. Happy birthday.

Arden Kozak

May 31, 2013

I am heading down to the beach to sing Happy Birthday to you, out in nature, in this glorious sunshine.
I will float an offering, of dog treats and dark chocolate, onto the lake. Today we would have been celebrating your 51st birthday.
I remember, as kids, how the smell of a birthday cake baking filled the air and had us bursting with the excitement of your birthday.
I miss you, think of you, and send love to you every day.
Love,and peace...until we meet again,
Arden xoxo

December 21, 2012

Today is Winter Solstice...I miss you. I remember how I enjoyed finding little treasures, throughout the year, to send to you for Solstice. I put your favorite chocolate out under a tree, tonight, in honour of that memory.
I am so grateful that you left beautiful memories for me to hold onto.
Missing you, thinking of you, and loving you every day. xoxoxo
Love, Arden

September 10, 2012

I was in a restaurant the other day an I saw someone who looked so much like you it was shocking. I was caught off guard and I sat there in silence just remembering so much

Steve

September 9, 2012

Now that I am 50 as of last week, I have been thinking of you a great deal. I wish that you were here, there is always so much I want to tell you and can't. I am sure that you are somewhere wonderful and looking over everyone.

Don Braithwaite

May 31, 2012

Happy Birthday Ben.

I remember us having a conversation about being 50 and not wanting to be one of those old guys sitting at the end of the bar. 50 seemed so far away back then. Now I am that 50 year old guy, but I wish you were here so we could laugh about the fact that 50 isn't actually that old :)

don

Arden Kozak

May 31, 2012

Happy 50th Birthday Ben.

I sung happy bithday to you while watching 2 horses graze peacefully in a green pasture.
I went ot a beautiful garden filled with Roman statues depicting chubby toddlers playing and challenging each other. I smiled remembering the fun we had as kids.
Missing you, thinking of you, and loving you every day.xoxoxxo
Love always...Arden

Tony Burnett

March 16, 2012

Hi Ben, I am missing you as much today as I did 7 years ago. So must has changed in that time, all that I have thought so many times that I'd like to share. Your warm smile, kind heart and gentle spirit are what I remember. You were truly a gift sent by a power higher than ourselves.
With love and hugs,
Namaste,
Tony

Arden Kozak

January 1, 2012

Missing you, remembering you, and honouring your spirit... as the spark of this new year is lit.
At Solstice I watched( through teary eyes) as a younger sister tagged along with, and bugged, her older brother.They were clearly enjoying the bond that I sorely miss. So naive to the gift that they are to each other.
I miss you, remember you, and wish you were still here...each and every day.
Loving you forever,
Arden xoxoxo

Bruce Beal

December 21, 2011

Hi Ben, thinking of you today, you are so missed by so many.

Richard Patenaude

June 1, 2011

Where ever your spirit may fly...Happy Birthday to you...my sweet friend.

Arden Kozak

May 31, 2011

Happy Birthday Ben.

I was at the beach this morning and arranged offerings of dark chocolate with almonds, dog treats, candles, and incense on a small flat log.
The water was calm as I walked out into the lake.
As soon as I relased the log, laden with your gifts, while singing "Happy Birthday", a large wave came up and swept it all into the water!
Maybe it was my singing.
I read some poetry from your collection by "Rumi".
Thank you for being born into this world as my brother.I honour and celebrate this day of your birth.
I miss you,remember you, and wish you were still here, each and every day.
Loving you forever,xoxox
Arden

Arden Kozak

May 11, 2011

Today is so sunny, with a blue sky. The scent of hyacinths float the warming breezes...sure signs that your birthday is nearing.
Six long years have passed...
I miss you, and remember you every day.
Ron and I will be at the beach to celebrate your birthday.
Loving you forever,
Arden xoxo

cliff and wendy

May 5, 2011

thinking of yet another year gone by. may peaceful waters flow now.

C. Richard Patenaude

March 24, 2011

Ben...another year has passed and I can't find the words to express how much your missed in my life. I guess that all I can say is thank you for the memories.

Mike Milley

August 7, 2010

Hey Ben...hard to believe that it's been 5+ years since you were taken from us.

I ran into Ron recently, and realized that's it's been quite awhile since I read this guestbook. It's great to see people are still thinking of you and writing to you. You meant a great deal to a lot of people; that's one legacy (of many) for you to be proud of.

I think of you often...I think my feelings for you ran deeper than I was willing to admit at the time, and since your passing I've always remembered you with a sense of "what if".

I hope you know how much you meant to me, and how much you always will.

Much love
Mike

Ben & Theo August 2004

Chris Aucoin

July 26, 2010

Ben, Theo & Chris past Chystal Crescent Beach 2000

Chris Aucoin

July 26, 2010

Ben & Chris March 1998

Chris Aucoin

July 26, 2010

Ben, Rex & Chris - Winter Solstice 1996

Chris Aucoin

July 26, 2010

Ben & Rex relaxing 1994

Chris Aucoin

July 26, 2010

Ben & Chris Toronto Pride 1993

Chris Aucoin

July 26, 2010

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