Brandon Scott Wedel

Here it is again, February and as always Brandon is on my mind. It has been 12 years since he left us. I am trying so hard to remember all the good memories, his birthday which is also in February, my memories was flooded with all of his various birthdays we celebrated together. I cannot explain how I much I miss him, everyday, but this month makes it even harder. I love my little boy and still to this day that is how I think of Brandon. I miss all of the his antics, craziness and happiness that he brought to our family. Jay, Brittni and I will never be the same, we are missing a part of family. As the years go by, we get use to the dealing with this void, but it doesn't go away. Time doesn't heal everything. My blonde haired little boy grew up to be a handsome young man, I wish I would have been able to watch him grow into a grown man, 19 is just too young to die. I wonder what he would be doing now if he had lived. Another February is here, another year gone by, I miss my son.

I was listening to "I Feel Home" by O.A.R a few days ago and I couldn't help but smile and think of Brandon. Brandon introduced me and Amber (Hall) to this song and this band and we used to listen to it almost every day. So many great memories and so many great times; Brandon was such an amazing friend and made a huge imprint in all of our lives. You and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Beautiful Jay.....just hang in there!

Just as Brandon was a gift, Jay, your words to him are a gift as well. You remind us that we need to hold those we love just a little closer and be a little kinder to each other. As always, holding you, Lisa and Brittini in my prayers.

This brought tears to my eyes what a special letter to share with Brandon's friends and family and all the others his short but special life touched May God continue to bring you peace.
Jennifer Conder Milstred

Thanks Carrissa and Tanner,
Brandon I miss you more than ever. My Dad is right I do feel robbed that I didn't get to have the life with you I thought was promised me. I wish I could tell you happy birthday and spend time with you as an adult I think we would have really enjoyed each other as people. I know I am lucky to have so many people I love dearly in my life. I just wish you could be part of it and be here living a life with me.

Well put Uncle Jay. Thank you for having the courage to write the words many of us wish we ourselves could say. You know that you, Lisa, and Britt are always in my thoughts and prayers, particularly on the extra hard days like today. I admire all of you so much, and I know that I would not be where I am today without each of your tremendous strength and fortitude. Believe it or not, Brandon has taught all of us a lesson, and whether that lesson is worth losing the most vibrant and fun-loving young man any of us have ever know, I really cannot say. But I do know that from the tragedy of our loss, we have all gained something you could never put a price on. I love you all so much, and I know that we are going to have the biggest party Heaven has ever seen when we're all finally reunited. For now, I know we will complete the work God has set before us here on earth with Brandon in our hearts and as living testaments to the power of his memory and the mark he has forever left on us all. I love you and miss you all so much. Keep up the fight, because I know he'd never let us give up.

Jay, Lisa, and Brittni, life is so precious, any one of us could go at any time. Brandon was so lucky to have such a loving family, All of you were lucky to have him. Only God knows why please keep your faith. Jay what you wrote was so very beautiful. Your family is lucky to have a loving person in their lives as you are & you are lucky for such a sweet family too. Love to all of you & I admire you and Lisa so much for letting Brittni leave & go let her follow her dreams. You & Lisa are a wonderful couple. Love to all of you. Brandon would be so proud of all of you. I am.

Our deepest thoughts and prayers for your family. Lisa, Jay, and Brittni, may GOD hold you close and comfort you during these trying times. Forever your friend, Caprice and Roy.

Jay & Lisa, I love you both with all of my heart. If I had one wish to be gauranteed to me it would be to take away the hurt and emptiness that cannot be.
Brittni, Watching you grow into this incredible woman is so neat and I know it hurts everyday to only have the amount of time you did with him I wish there was something to say to make it beet.... there is not
Brandon, we miss you! Thank you for being so incredible in the life that you displayed and leaving such large footprints on my heart and also bonding our family together. We love you!

Jay this is absolutely beautiful! No doubt the love you all have for Brandon is still felt by him, and I know he is loving you guys right back. I think of Brandon often, and shake my head at the wonder of his presence on all or us who knew him. He was very special indeed!!

My heart is with you Jay, Lisa and Brittni. He was an awesome boy!

A very kind and touching memorial in honor of Brandon. May God bless you.

your post was very touching, went to school with brandon.. glad im able to read this and share with friends..

In honor of your son, Jay! How beautiful!! God Bless and give you peace, now and always

Think of you and miss you...always. This world will never be the same without you in it. Your smile and spirit will live on in all of us.

Brandon was the man. Every memory I can recall is a good one. I was a little kid who looked up to Brandon for his love of life and outgoing spirit. When Brandon was in the room it was charged with life. He shared his joy wherever he went. That is what I remember the most - he lit up the room. And I think we should all try to be more like him.

Jay, Lisa, and Brittni- You are the strongest people I know. Everyday I spent with you I admired the fact that you never quit fighting. And even though everyday is a struggle, you battle through and try to enjoy the little things as they come and smile as often as you can. And it's inspiring. Because I know that if you can bear this pain each day and get out of bed the next, I can bear the struggles in my life as well. Thank you for strength and courage and love. If anyone has learned from you it is me. Lessons I will carry with me the rest of my life.

Lisa, I don't think you have to worry about Brandon being remembered by all that were fortunate enough to be a part of his life. I know how hard this day is for you every year, as is every day. The memories are always there to keep them close to us. One day we will also get to give them another hug and kiss. I've got you all in my prayers for strenght to continue getting stronger. May you find comfort in knowing he is in Jesus' arms.

Hey guys... Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you today and keeping you in my prayers! Love you all.

Forever in our hearts and always on our minds. We loved him too. We also love this picture of him. It's hard to believe he would soon be 29. He will be forever young. God, please Bless Lisa, Jay and Britt with your loving grace. Peace...Billy and Debbie

Jay, Lisa & Brittni,

I just wanted to write you to tell you I still think about, and miss, Brandon everyday. Not a day goes by that something doesn't remind me of him. A scent, a song, a joke, even the most mundane things. He was one of the most amazing people I have ever met, & had one of the deepest impacts on my life in the brief time he was here. I will love that boy until the day I die. I know it doesn't ever get any easier-we just learn to function again. I think about you 3 all the time, and wish you the best-since that's what Brandon would've wanted for all of us.

Thinking of you and your son. Memory, all of our kids playing together in the park at our second class reunion.

Thinking of you

Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

I too do not know you or your family, but read the beautiful tribute to your son. Ten yrs ago my family lost our little brother in a tragic untimely death. He was such a young man with so much life to live. I didn't know how we would go on. We still suffer this loss everyday but mostly Mom. We always talk about him, the house filled with his pictures, stories of years past. May you find some peace in knowing he is safe and you will be reunited again one day. You loved him so much, it is painfully clear in the beautiful words you wrote to him. We all should be so blessed to have a mother that loves us this much. Again,I am sorry for your loss and just wanted you to know that even though I don't know you or ever met your Brandon, my love and prayers go out to you and your family.

We love you Lisa, Jay and Brit, God Bless you guys

In the short time we knew each other, I felt we bonded like brothers. You were as loyal as one could be. Sure wish you were here, you will always be missed and loved.

Brandon I'm so sorry you had such a short time here on earth with your family that loved you so much, and still miss you every minute of the day. I'm so sorry I did not ever get to meet you in person because everyone that met you while you were here in Okla, visiting with your Mom and Grandpa's family just couldn't say enough good things about you and that they hoped one day you would come to Okla. to live. That you were such a handsome, smart and a very sweet young man. All the relatives that you met here on that visit say that with such a smile on their faces. We never understand why God picks some of us so soon but I'm sure he is taking very good care of you now. I'm sure you are looking down and wanting some peace of mind for your sweet family and to understand that no one here on earth can understand why it happened to you and your family but I'm sure we will all understand when we get up there to meet you in Gods arms.
I am praying that your family can get some peace of mind some day and I know that the time you were here with them will live in their hearts forever. God Bless You and Your Family.
With love,
Betty O'Banion (Broken Arrow, Ok)

i miss you wedel...i love you.

I went home a couple of weeks ago to clean out my room, as my parents will soon be moving. I opened up a box with dozens of pictures, and many of them had my dear friend Brandon Scott Wedel in them. Several of the pictures were taken around my house, and I couldn't help but get sad thinking of all the times Brandon and I had shared in the house I grew up in. Then, I looked at a picture of me and my good friend Lisa, smiling brightly at the table we always ate lunch at when we were at Garces together. Upon a closer look, there was Brandon in the background, about to do something mischievous, no doubt. A moment in time when my dear friend was still alive. A moment in time that was captured in one snapshot. Although the image of him was small and blurred, it was real- just like Brandon himself. And at that moment, I felt incredibly blessed that I had known such an authentic and beautiful human.

Brandon, I still think of you all the time. You were, and still are, the most honest person I have ever met. While you are not here, my memories of you will live forever. I miss you everyday.

Love Aneesha

God bless you and your family.just remember you shall see your loved one some day.again God bless you.

Lisa, I have not seen you for years but think of you often. Just yesterday I was driving on Wible over McKee and thought of you and then I saw the wonderful tribute to your son today in the paper. I just had to write to you. I think of you and your parents everytime I'm on my way to Jolly Cone going over South H. I go past where you turned into their house. My heart aches for you Lisa. I know there is nothing I can say to take away the pain so i won't even try. But I hope knowing that people like me are thinking of you and your family often, and keeping you in our thoughts and prayers gives you comfort somehow. I was very sick this last summer and almost didn't make it. My family really went through some rough times. Your learn to be thankful for EVERYDAY AND NOT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF! Your son sounds like a very special person. Wish I could have met him. Take care, stay strong and God Bless You! Love, Tami

Forever in my heart and always on my mind. Love and miss you so much Brandon.
Aunt Karen
(Orange County, CA)

I love you Brandon!!! There are so many times in my life that I wish I could share with. There are also the fond memories of the Great times we did have on this earth together. To Lisa, Jay and Brittani, I love you all and my thoughts and prayers are with you always. Love Lisa

Brandon was a great kid and I miss him too. But remember mom you are great too. Now he has his Grandpa Cleo with him they can get into all kinds of trouble as only they could.

I did not know Brandon. After reading your memorial, I wish I had. He sounds like a wonderful young man. Until you see him again in Heaven. May God Bless You and Yours.

Another Christmas has gone by without you here. I miss you always, but even more during the holidays. I remember all the Christmas mornings we had, you as a little boy so excited about opening up your gifts, I still have every ornament your grandmother gave you. You are missing from our family and it is not only hard on me, but your dad and sister miss you so much too. Always an emptiness for us at Christmas. Parents are not suppose to out live their children and it is something that those of us who have can only understand fully. The years that we had we cherish, but we also wish for the years that we can never have, a wish that cannot be granted. I just want you here that is really all I can say....I love you.

Love
Mom

Brandon, grandpa is now with you and it give me some peace to know you are together. Now I have two gaping holes in my broken heart, my two favorite men are gone. Be sure to tell God that I could use some extra help down here on earth, so send me some signs that everything is okay, you are good at sending those my way, I will make sure I pay attention to them. Have fun with grandpa, show him all the glorious things there in heaven, I know when he saw you it made everything okay for him. Now we have two special angels watching over us, but I cannot help but wish you two were here.
Love
Mom

Brandon,
I went to your grandfather's funeral today. I'm sure he is by your side in heaven. He always had a special place in his heart for you. I can't believe it's been eight years that you've been gone. My heart still breaks when I think of you and can only imagine what your mom, dad and sister go through everyday. As I stood there today, I was thinking if you were still here with us what would your life be like now? Would you be married or have kids? I do know you and Tyler probably would have got in some trouble together. I feel so bad because you were just beginning the next stage in your life. Bittni has grown into a remarkable young woman and you would be very proud of her. We miss you very much and you are always in our thoughts. Have fun fishing with your grandpa. Don't forget Eileen, she loves to fish too.
Love
Tracy

Brandon.
I went to Lindsays wedding and it weddings always remind me that you wont be at mine. it kills me that you are gone and the only thing i want i cant have. i would give it all up to have you here. I love you so much it hurts. not having you here hurts. I do a good job at living a life tho. i love my school and my friends. Im almost 21. Its insane. i wish you were here to be apart of it. I only go so much time with you. i feel like i was robbed of time. I love you and im doing okay here. i miss you . everyone who knew you was amazed with you.

Jay, Lisa and Brittni - I am so glad to see that you have made it this far. I know how difficult it is and every day is a struggle but knowing that your son is safe and without worries is a blessing as I well know. You will never forget, as no one will, as your son lives on in everyones memories everyday. They are brought to us for a reason and we never quite know why or for how long but we have to cherish every moment we had and keep it all so very close to our hearts. Take care of yourselves and see every moment of life as a blessing. Love you and will see you in April.

I want nothing more than to be able to go back to the days where Brandon, Taylor, Blake, and I would be bored on the farm. In our desperate attempts to find something to do, we'd always look to Brandon. He always had the wildest ideas.

Let's make a fort. So we did. Brandon was captain. I wasn't allowed because I was too young. Then it was Blake's turn to be captain. Still too young. Then Brandon turned to Taylor, "Wanna be captain?" Taylor was so excited. "Yeah! Alright I'm captain now. Tanner you still can't be in it."

"Yeah well if you're captain then we quit." And Brandon and Blake walked out. Hahahahaha. It cracks me up to this day.

Those are the times that seemed so simple at the moment, so insignificant. Now they are the fleeting memories that I hold on to with all that I have. I sometimes think, what if I knew? What would I do differently? What would I change? I don't know if I'd really change a thing at all. I think I'd just watch more. Pay attention to all the little things I took for granted at the time, but now miss more than anything.

I was looking through old photographs and I found one of Taylor and I and these two kids. I could not figure out who for the life of me. But then I recognized the setting, the farm house. And then I recognized the blond hair. And the squinty eyes. And that smile. That's Brandon's smile! And that other guy must be Blake. I was only 3 so I don't blame myself for not remembering, but I found myself imagining what that day must have been like, inventing in my head what we did and how fun it must have been. How much I looked up to them all.

I'm rambling I know... The point is, we can't change the past. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. And as much I struggle to have a positive attitude and be grateful for the time I did have with him, I cannot help but selfishly want more.

Your family is always on my heart and in my prayers this time of year.

Dear Jay & Family

You made Brandon a part of our family every year. Hope you doing well and invest a lot of your energy helping other kids and giving love as your heart is full of it. We are praying with you.

Tony Touma

Brandon will always be missed, but never forgotten. Brandon and I had some great times together and he holds a very special spot in my heart. I love you Brandon. My prayers go out to you Jay, Lisa and Brittani. I love you all.

Love,
Lisa Sanchez

No one has ever had a personality or a heart as big and genuine as yours. I know that I am blessed to have had the time that I did with you, but will always wish that there could have been more. I know we all feel that way. You will be forever missed, forever loved.

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."

It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man.

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,
remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.

Ruth Ann Mahaffey (author)
©Copyright 1998-2010

Brandon will always be in my fondest memories, Oh those very fun and interesting FL cheer comps :) ...He was quite the individual and he lived every day to the fullest. He is missed and loved and I will never forget him! He definitely left his mark on the world and lives on through his amazing family and friends.

Love you Lisa, Brit and Jay

Thinking of your guys always, especially during this time of the month. I love you all with all my heart. -Ash

This is difficult day for all of us, your friends and family, you had such a large and positive impact on all of our lives. We think about you often and miss you every day. Brandon always had so much energy and thirst for life with such a contagious smile. I miss hanging out at our friends house and Brandon always thought it was necessary to come in through the window and scare us. We miss you so much, but we know your still sharing all the important moments with us. Until we meet again.
Michelle Hall (Smart)

whay a sweet little boy.I couldn'it resist writing in his book

I would like to write a quote from a song long ago.

It was sung at my brothers funeral,, long ageo. by my sister wrote it after his death.he was a young man ,father of 2 children,died at a search and rescue,that he was part of with the Kern County Sheriff s depy ,trying to reteve the body of a loved one for a distraught family
.
"the tips of my fingers are hurting,
from the memory of your loving touch
and my heart hurts that you left us
the ones who love you so much'
I hurt all over,its a feeling that never will end
I hurt all over, over,and over again."

my you learn to live , knowing Brandon is playing at the feet of Jesus,happy and waiting for you.
god bless you and all the family.
in his Grace.
Janice Pelham

Brandon will always live in our memories. We talk about "little Brandon" often. May you find some peace in knowing he touched so many lives. Our thoughts are with you guys today.
Deanna, Nathan, Ray, and Crystal Nessmith

You are on my mind everyday, but this month is so hard for all of us. We miss you and hate February 19th, but love February 28th. Both make me sad, Brittni just asked me today why did this have to happen to us, I wish I knew that answer. She also lost a friend, another young free spirit, who was taken way too soon, God must need strong angels. Strange things happening again here in the house, I know it is you telling us you are okay. Family is so important and it is a shame that some don't realize it when they should. It is weird to me that some get so wrapped up in their own beliefs and perceptions that they lose all perspective of what really matters, it isn't what you have, but what you do with it.

Love
Mom

Miss you.... Went to see u... and decorated a bit... Left u some great music....

Love

Dad

Christmas is two days away and we all miss you. I wish I could get past the pain and into the joy of the season, something I have not been able to achieve since you left us. I didn't get to your grave to decorate it for xmas, I feel guilty that i didn't do that. But I just couldn't go this year. I would give anything to just have you with us, I hate that it is impossible. Our family isn't complete, you have left a void that will not go away. All of our heart are broken, but we talk and think of you everyday. You will always be part of us.

Just felt the need to write in your Guest Book today, I guess it is a way for me to express myself and how I feel. I have to use every tool, I cannot seem to stop thinking of you today, maybe your spirit is near me, I really feel you are near your grandparents, this probably sounds crazy but I can feel your presence when I am there. I cannot help myself some days, shouldn't feel sorry for myself, but I do, I still don't understand God took you from us, stay by me and help me stay strong, I need you.

Love
Mom

Brandon, another Mother's Day is tomorrow, I wish you were here. I think about the days when you were just a little boy, your beautiful blonde hair and all the mischief you could get in. Brandon, you were a handful, but my handful, you had a special way about you, which is reflected in how you are remembered by so many. Your spirit is and always will be remembered everyday, but especially on days like today for me. I will take tomorrow to remember what a special gift my children are, you will be in my thoughts as you always are and I will be with your sister, you helps me through all of this, she is my saving grace.

Love Mom

I just wish I could spend these days with you. We could take family trips and you could teach me to snowboard. I wish you could be with us for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, lighting up the table and making everyone laugh. I just miss your presence. Your incredible gift to lift up those around you, whether it was through a simple smile or funny story. I miss it all.

Brittni, I love you so much. I've never seen so much strength in one person. The simple fact that you can live each day with your head held high is impressive. Through everything, you've managed to live a life as normal as it could be. I don't think I would ever have that strength.

I love you all.

No bond is as great as that between a parent and child. Our deepest condolences are with you as you grieve. What a tribute to a so loved son. After the death of a child, even though we can't see them-they are so apart of us. If you would like free newsletters from our local Compassionate Friends chapter, please call our message phone 589-3512. We are parents helping parents after the loss of a child.

Brandon,

Where do I begin? You were a living legend during our time together, and you remain a legend as the years go by.

You introduced me to some amazing music. System of a down, OAR, every time we hung out you seemed to have the inside line on some great new music. I have the best memories of just rolling with you in your honda, blasting tunes and singing along at the top of our lungs.

These days, you are a constant source of strenth for me. I am pursuing a career in music, and when the days get dark and I feel like my backs against the wall, I think of you and how if you were still alive, you would probably be my biggest fan. Whenever things get tough and my path seems impossible, I remember your unbelievable passion for good music, and I feel restored.

I miss you every day bro, but I just feel so fortunate to have met you. Thank you so much for being a constant inspiration. I love you Brandon.

Dear Jay and Lisa
We think of Brandon too. Our boys were so funny together. I think of the sleep overs at our house. I'll share your thoughts with Andrew. Bles you and your family.

Sara Jett

Brandon,
Happy Birthday! I miss you so much. You never cease to amaze me with your beautiful, strong spirit. What happened last night at our favorite pizza spot is just another confirmation of that! (I told your dad the story) Always in my heart and in my mind...
Love, Aunt Karen

Woke up this morning, your birthday was the first thing on my mind, I sang Happy Birthday to you. Shortly after I received a call from my cousin. She was calling to tell me her grandson Styles Kannon Sanchez was born today, a special day now shared with yours. My hope for him would be to live his life with the "free spirit "you lived your life with. You did it all, snow skiing, snow boarding, motorcycle riding, riding the jet bikes, traveling to places only few dream of and you with your shiny blonde hair giving it all you had!! You will live on in our hearts forever and ever...Love Uncle Debbie :)

Jay,
I just wanted to let you know that you are in our thoughts today.
We think of Brandon often and every time it is with smiles on our faces. Nathan and I was talking about him the other day. I saw a little boy at the ice rink and he reminded me of Brandon, with that blond hair and huge smile, laughing and enjoying falling more than skating. When we think of living on Charterten, our thoughts go to “little Brandon” and we share stories of him. My daughter Crystal feels like she knew him well because she has heard the stories of him so much, and in reality she was too small to remember for herself. Today we will get out the old VCR tape and watch Brandon trying to skateboard, and laugh and remember what fun little Brandon brought to our lives.

Lisa & family, I think about you often and continue to pray for us parents that has lost a child. I understand how the aching heart feels. It's horrible! People can't even begin to comprehend such pain unless they have gone through it. I think about my Brandon every single day. I'd give anything to see what he'd look like today. I still hold onto faith that I will see him again! I will continue you to keep you in my prayers. Take care!

Brandon,
I miss you! I have been thinking about you and yesterday is always a day that is remembered. I was listening to the Grateful Dead last night and reminiscing memories from highschool, us cruising around in your ol'car. Such good times we had. Always Loved and Never Forgotten. Love you Brandon.

Love Always,
Lisa

Brandino, one of my favorite people of all time...You will always be in my heart and I will never forget the times I spent with you and how you made me laugh, not very many people can do that!! When you were about 8 years old you snuck my beer and drank about 1/4 of it, when you were done you looked at me, smiled, crushed the can and said Beer. You were too much. Your Mom talked about you liking all kinds of music, I remember when you and I sang a Merle Haggard song, and the verse, like a snow ball headed for Hell you let it all hang out just like you were on stage. There will be a time when we will sing together again. 'Til then. Love Uncle Billy

We will never forget Brandon. Just this morning as Lauren was getting ready for a ski trip, we were laughing about how Brandon and Eric taught me how to snow board. We think about the trips to the lake and how much fun we all had together and how life can change with a blink of an eye. Jay, Lisa and Brittany, you are always in our thoughts and prayers, as Brandon will always be in our hearts.

Brandon:

I miss you and here are my thoughts on this day, I am sharing this in your guestbook because it is something I want to be able to go back and look at throughout the years. Being your mother was such a gift, you taught me much about life while you were here and continue to teach me after your death.

Pain – There is no way around it, you have to walk right through it. Endure what it dishes out to you and do your best to survive. There are many different types of pain, physical pain and emotional pain. I believe that physical pain is easier to deal with because you can try medicines or overtime it lessens. Emotional pain is very complicated, a broken heart from a love that has been lost such as a divorce, breakup, loss of job or material things. There is emotional pain that you bring on yourself because of something you have done and wish you hadn’t. Your mind can just be all screwed up and you just cannot seem to fix it. Death brings on emotional pain + physical pain, not your own death, but the death of someone you love. My pain comes from the death of my son, Brandon; I cannot escape it no matter what I do. Today is the anniversary of his death and even though it has been seven years it still hurts more than I can describe. It might not be quite the raw pain that I felt at first, which seemed as much physical as emotional, but my mind and heart still feels the pain. The tears come and ago less often, but the reality of living every minute of my life with this pain remains the same.

I not only have the pain from losing my eldest child, but also I have the pain to have to watch my youngest suffer through this loss also, with no power to do anything about it. As a mother you always want to spare your children from pain. But I cannot spare Brittni from the reality that her brother left her when she was only 13 years old and she was forced at that point to look at life much differently than most of her peers. She is much more aware of mortality. I wish I could take her pain away and let her be free from that burden, but it is impossible.

I have had other pain in my life that I thought was bad, but nothing compares to the emptiness and searing pain that seems to last after the death of my child. I have lost my son, part of myself as well. I have learned lessons from this pain that I wish I hadn’t had to learn but I have to face them. Lesson of life I will call them. I cannot say that these lessons didn’t come with a price, because the price was way too high for anything I could have benefited from. But I do know now that certain things are not important, what people say or think is their opinions only and one should not take too much stock in what is said. You have to listen to what your spirit tells you about yourself and try to adjust to whatever comes your way. Do what you feel is right, stay away from things that bother or upset you no matter who approves or not. I am a survivor of a trauma that has left many emotional scars, I know I am broken, but it has also left me with strength that I might not have obtained if not for this. I have learned that I need strength to carry on and do what I can for the people who matter to me and not worry about the rest. It is okay to be selfish about how I feel, don’t worry if it doesn’t seem right to someone else, they are my feelings and all are validated. Trauma causes me to remember that life comes with sadness, it is inevitable, and life is hard but worth living all the same. I hope that I can find my way through my pain, I am sure I will, I am just not there yet.

I cant express how much i loved Brandon! He always brought smiles to peoples faces no matter what was goin on....

To Brandon's Family my prayers go out to you all. i pray that our sweet jesus heals your pain.seek the Lord for he loves us all.

Here I go again, missing you and wondering why this happened. I just read an article about another mother who lost her son, she describes it was a wound that never heals. What a perfect way to describe my pain. There are times that you think the wound is forming a scab and getting better, then something triggers the emotion and the scab is torn away, again revealing an wound that is raw and painful. I don't know how to heal. There are moments that I feel I am getting better, but then there are times like right now that I feel all the same familiar pain resurfacing all over. Brandon I will miss you for the rest of my life, I will try to thank God for the days I had with you, not curse him for the days that I missed with you. I really am not sure how I am to get through all of this, I guess it is just one day at a time, still after all of these years. I love you and from that love I will find the strength to keep forging ahead hoping for a little peace.

Love
Mom

Another holiday season is upon us. Again, I feel the emptiness of you not being here with us. I still cannot believe that you are gone from our lives. The holiday are especially hard, I just want you with us so much and I know that it is impossible, but I have to think you are with us in spirit. I try to remember the holidays we spend together, but that makes me miss you even more. I know tears helps cleanse the soul, so I need to just let them flow and find a way to cope. It is just hard, we all think of you everyday and it is the not fair that you are not here.

I love you and you are always on my mind and in my heart.

Love
Mom

Brandon,
Thinking of you. I think of your family often as well! I can only imagine the pain. We will get to see you and I'm sure Thats going to be the GREATEST DAY! Give Jesus a kiss for me.

Love From,
Margie and Kelsey

We all miss you so much. Love you man.

brandon;
this is my first time writing to you, i think about you all the time, but for some reason today i couldnt stop thinking about you. i find myself looking at the picture of me, you danielle and duffey when ew were just tiny tots,and you had ice cream all over your face. i get a kick out of that picture. it gives me something to remember you by. you are so greatly missed by your friends and family. to lisa ,jay and brittni your family is always in my heart, ilove you guys so much.
love always fizzie provience

Brandon:

I turn 50 tomorrow, you should be here with us, I am sure you would love to give me grief about being so old. As always, anything that has to do with family holidays I ache for you to be here. It is so hard for me to find happiness with you gone, the emptiness I feel never really goes away. I had to stop writing this for a moment to let myself cry for you, you are in my thoughts everyday. We all miss you, I know you are watching over all of us. Take care of your sister please, she is my saving grace and what gets me through this pain. I love you my son, I am saying a little prayer maybe you can give me a sign from heaven on my birthday.

Love
Mom

Brandon,
Was thinking of you and your family today. we we see you soon!

Brandon:

I am feeling the emptiness of not having you with us any more. I miss you and want you back. Life goes on, but nothing is the same for me. Everything change the night we lost you and it will never be the same. You were a part of me and I just feel so damaged with you gone. The pain is not just emotional, but at time I feel it physically, my heart hurts deep inside. Another holiday is coming tomorrow, how you love the 4th of July. You always liked fireworks, even though I was always frightened that you would burn yourself, because you always took chances with them. I think of you every day, I carry you in my heart every second, I wish my pain would go away, but I think it is here to stay. I try but I am just a mess. I love you.

Mom

Brandon:

It is Mother's Day Weekend, how I wish you were here. I cannot explain the emptiness that I feel, you were a part of me that only lives in my heart now. I often think of how I could of been a better mother to you, and I am sorry for my mistakes. I do know that you knew that I love you, I still cannot grasp that you are gone. I try and try to go on, but my pain holds me back. Maybe I am just too weak. I am trying to do my best with your sister, but I am still making mistakes. Please help guide me, I know you are watching over her. There has been a darkness to my soul since you left us, and I cannot find the light, but I will keep trying. I love you and miss you.

Mom

Brandon:

Today I went to Mike Taffera's funeral, another person with such a big heart taken away too early. He was with us at your dad's 50th birthday. Tears came to his eyes as he watched your dads video when your picture came up. He remembered you on various fishing trips. Now Mike is with you Brandon, I know you two will greet each other with smiles and I know he will tell you how much we miss you. I still question why does God has to taken from us the one we need so much here on earth, just as Mike's boys and mother needed him, but maybe God knows that you both can help us more from heaven than here on earth and he wants angels with big hearts to help him with his works.

Love
Mom

I've been wanting to write here again for a while. I remember your parents and sister's loss. They will see you again. I think of your sister, and your Mom often. I never see them anymore, however still in my thoughts. Brandon, to say, watch over them wouldn't be right because I know God doesn't allow you to look back. In Heaven, there is no pain, no sorrow, so, I know God would not allow you to look back, but If you could simply know this, that the people who are left behind, Love you soooooo much and miss you dearly. I will keep your family in my prayers. Do your works in Heaven, until we get there. I see the articles in the paper, and it's sweet to be reminded of Brandon Wedel. Love, Margie Aguilera

Dear Brandon,
I wish I could tell you face to face the awesome impact that you had upon my life. Not a single day goes by that I do not look at the picture of you hanging on my wall and think just how much I miss you. There are still songs that I cannot listen to without a tear coming to my eye. Everyone misses you so much and we talk about you constantly, always wondering "what could of been". I even got a tattoo that reminds me of you because keeping your memory fresh in my mind and heart reminds me to live my life as you lived yours. Like each day could be the last and to make the best of it. Brandon, I love and miss you more than I am able to express in writing or words. Until we meet again, rock on bro. You will never be forgotten.
Love,
Robbie Kasberger

I miss you.

Brandon,

I Miss you man!!! I am so grateful that we were friends and I will always cherish the good times that we shared. I was looking at pictures the other day and came across some pics from prom...man, we had a fun time that night, didn't we?

To Lisa, Jay, and Brittani my heart goes out to you and I want to let you know you are all in my prayers.

forever missed. love you Brandon.

love,
Lisa Sanchez

Seeing Brandon's obituary reminded me of your sad loss so many years ago. I can not imagine the pain of losing a child, as well as, the pain that lingers in his abscence. My thoughts of condolence focus on the importance of giving this loss over to the Lord so that He can comfort you from here on. He is the only one that I know of that can truly understand the loss of a son, taken away in such an unfair fasion. My thoughts and prayers are always with you. Sincerly, Jimmy

I opened your memoriam and saw your sweet smiling little face, I am very sad and the tears won't stop. Your Mom talked about the DVD we gave them at Christmas you were about this age in it, this is how I remember you most. Today is a special day and has been since the day you were born. It will remain a special day now and forever. We think of you always and miss you terribly. A special memory of you was when you about 4 maybe 5, we were winding up a day at the lake in the parking lot drying the boat and listening to some music......Michael Jacksons Thriller came on and you broke out dancing. You couldn't snap your fingers but you made the sound as if you were snapping away. You were adorable!! Not shy at all. That was your great personality exploding right there in front of us all. Loved it. Thanks for being YOU. I could go on and on but will leave here with HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY DEAR BRANDON. We love you. Peace Love Uncle Billy and Uncle Debbie :)

To lose a child is to lose a part of yourself, you are never the same. As time passes you learn to live with it, but the heartache never leaves you, you are forever missing something, and forever changed. Family and friends were my savior, and still are. It has been 10 yrs for me, and it still seemes like yesterday that she was running up the sidewalk from the school bus, hair swinging, laughing, God I love those memories, the are what sustains me in those moments of sadness.
I know now what those days meant, and I savor every moment I have with my Grandkids, and my grown children, who also have sadness that will never leave them as well, but we move forward, she would want us to all be happy.
Please know that you are very much in my thoughts and remember he is always with you.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.

I went to school with your Aunt Karen, I remember how excited she was when you were born. I was saddened when you passed away and I read all the postings to your guest book. I don't live in Wasco anymore so I don't get to visit with your family, but I want them to know that you are thought of. Now that I am a mother I know how precious each day is and we take so much for granted. Your grandmother took great care of us and I know she is taking care of you. Love, Joanne (Mosby) Lowe

Dearest Brit, Lisa & Jay,
My heart goes out to you, I can only imagine the heart ache you must feel. When you say that we must appreciate every moment here and love our children, I understand that. The strength that it takes to maintain your family and be there for Brit is so important. I always keep you in my prayers.I love the different photos you have posted of Brandon. What a wonderful way to keep his memory alive for us.
Take care of yourselves.

To the Wedel Family:

I wish to extend my deepest sympathy to your family. I read about Brandon and I was moved by the apparant love that everyone had for him. I hope you can draw comfort from God's word knowing that he promises that soon their will be no more sickness, pain or death. (Rev.21:1-4.

You are in our thoughts and prayers. The loss of a child is so hard to bear. If you would like to receive the Compassionate Friends local chapter newsletter please call 589-3512 (a message phone). We are a group of parents that help each other grieve, share, and love the times we had with our children.

Thanks to all!!!! It means so much....

Jay C. Wedel

Brandon,
It is so hard to think that it has been six years already. Time seems to fly by but your memory has stayed strong. It is so wierd to watch everyone start their lives, careers, family. I often wonder what would have become of your life if you were here with us. I think about you all the time and I know that you are watching over everyone I just wish we could see you. Your mom, dad, and Brit never stop wanting for you and if the years keep passing as quickly as they are I know that they will be with you again before they know it. Jay, Lisa, Brit, I love you all very much and I feel so blessed to have you in my life. I know everyday it tough especially this month but I know you guys will get through each year with the strength and love of our family and friends. You are all such beautiful people just like Brandonand he will be missed by so many people forever. I love you!

I MISS U !!!! its hard to live without you. you should be here with me and be growing with me...im always missing you and i will always miss you...i love u so much... i know u know that... this is the hardest thing for me to deal with and this year is even harder because i will be passing you up in age....it is hard for me to think that u would not always be here protecting me... i sit here crying all the time here for you ... you were so great....so loving and so fun... and you cared so much about me... i wish i could have you back. i wish i could just see and hug you one last time,... i love u ... and miss you.
everyone thank you for your support.
love brittni your sister

Jay, Lisa, and Brittni
My prayers are with you and have been with you since the day we all lost Brandon. I went to school with Brandon and had 4 of my best years and memories with him. I sometimes drive by Garces and everytime i remember the funny stories and things he did. He was always laughing or telling us some crazy story. He was always fun to hang out with and i always looked forward to hanging out with him. It makes me sad that he could not continue to grow old with all of us, but i know while he was here, he enjoyed every minute of it. I have countless memories and smile alot of times i think of him, and that is the Brandon i will forever remember. His laugh alone was unforgetable, and he will be one of those people that i myself will never forget for the rest of my days.
I miss you "Wedel".
Sincerely Gilbert Arias

Brandon,
Losing you has affected this family so much. I can't help but become angry because I had so little time with you. The time I did spend with you, though, taught me so much about the joys of life and the importance of family and friends. When I think of you, I try not to focus on your death, but on memories I have of you when you were alive. No matter how sad I am, despite the tears and the anger, when I think of the pranks you'd play or your incredible smile I can't help but smile myself.
Ironically, as the anniversary of your death was approaching, we began to study adversity in school. My teacher used the book of Job as an example of how to deal with adversity. Job's faith in God was being tested by Satan. Satan took everything that Job had ever loved, his friends and his family, he even took away his home and his animals, and gave him sores and bruises all over his body. Job became angry at God, he didn't understand why such terrible things would happen to him, why God would cause him such suffering and grief. Finally, the Lord came to Job and challenged him. He asked Job where HE was when God created the world, what knowledge did Job have that God did not, could Job possibly have a better plan than the Lord himself?
Your death confused me so much. I didn't understand how this could happen. I was in disbelief and denial. I could not possibly understand. But that day in school, I realized that God has a plan for all of us. His plan is far greater than any plan of our own, his knowledge far superior to our own. And I learned that I must trust God, and know that for whatever reason you were taken from us, I will see you in Heaven, and despite the grief we all are experiencing, can have the comfort of knowing that you are with God in an incredible place, watching over each of us.
I'm not sure how often I told you, but Brandon, I love you so incredibly much and look to the day where I can join you in Heaven.

With love,
Tanner

Aunt Lisa, Uncle Jay, Brittni-
You are all in our thoughts and prayers.
We love you.

i am forever grateful to say that i knew brandon. He was a unique soul that can never be forgotten and always loved... Jay,Lisa, and Brittni- my thoughts are with you in this time of rememberance.