David Walter LeFebvre

David Walter LeFebvre grew up with California dreams. As a teen in Iowa in the 1950s, he started making plans to get there-but then destiny intervened. For David, fate came in the form of a friend with two important assets: a car and an aunt who'd let them stay in her apartment in New York City.

And so began the story of Dave, the husband, father, grandfather, ad man, business owner, photographer, gardener, stained glass artist, Giants fan and singer who died December 30 of complications from Alzheimer's disease.

Any lingering thoughts of the Golden State faded away when Dave met Paula, a nice Italian girl from Yonkers, at Fordham University. Dave said Paula turned his black-and-white world to color, and often joked that over the years he became "about 20 pounds Italian." Their love spanned 57 years, 5 children, 10 grandchildren, and a slew of devoted (though sometimes wild) pets.

As a father, Dave coached baseball, sat rapt through guitar performances and ballet recitals, and cheered on a lot - but seriously, a lot - of rowing. He took his kids on frequent trips to the Met and chased them down icy ski slopes in Vermont, and taught them the power of a funny quip in diffusing an argument.

Dave made a name for himself in advertising, finding success in contradictions: He was a farm boy who sold luxury European skincare products, a war protester in charge of making kids love GI Joes, and a hopeless cook who wanted everyone to try Shake 'n Bake. Eventually he switched to market research, and when Paula wanted to go back to school, he moved his business to their basement so he could help with their youngest.

Like so many, Dave struggled with mental illness and addiction. At times these diseases, and also the shame and stigma of these diseases, came close to tearing his life apart. Dave never gave up fighting his demons, and was able to find a sort of peace.

Dave and Paula spent a significant amount of their time leading Engaged Encounter and Marriage Encounter weekends, retreat programs through the Catholic church. They counseled hundreds of couples, and led by example for their own children, on how to maintain a strong relationship: believe in each other, forgive easily, don't shy away from putting in the work and communicate with love.

In the end, Dave forgot most of what's described above. But through it all, he still knew that the little things were really the big things: There is wonder in everyday life. Home is wherever your family is. And a good meal - no matter how it comes together - can make anything better.

David is survived by his wife of 57 years, Paula LeFebvre (LaSala); their children David LeFebvre (Jeanne), Thomas LeFebvre (Lisa), Mari Haddock (Eric), and Catherine Ugland (Eric); and his sister Ruth Ann LeFebvre. He is also survived by his grandchildren Flynn and Owen LeFebvre; Thomas, Kristen, and Joseph LeFebvre; William and Maya Haddock; and Harrison and Blake Ugland. David is preceded in death by his brothers Rodger and Bruce LeFebvre, his sister-in-law Mary Lou Verni (LaSala), his daughter Danyea Kngen LeFebvre, and grandson Andrew Haddock.

A private family ceremony will be held in January, followed by a larger celebration of life later this year. Further details will follow.

In lieu of flowers, the family asks that remembrances be made in the form of donations to the Alzheimer's Association or the American Cancer Society.