Deborah Cadman Obituary
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John Connolly
March 3, 2020
Deb,
Three times already this year I have used your old books as my teaching guides for my classes. It is a joy to read your notes in your handwriting and still feel that you are just one room away. I know you are at peace and I wish you eternal grace.
September 19, 2018
Thinking of your family.
April 12, 2017
April 12, 2017
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Back in the Day-- together always!
Bruce Cadman
April 9, 2017
April 8, 2017
Bruce
I was so sorry to read on Facebook about Deb's illness and death. I have many fond memories of her from our school days. She was a sweet and fun kid, and a great student. Please accept my deep condolences for your loss. Michelle Edwards
Mark Miller
April 8, 2017
Bruce, thanks for the conversation, you are a great man
Time in Saratoga Springs, NY
Bruce Cadman
April 6, 2017
Glenn, Dana, Les, Deb and Bruce--Hanging Out
Bruce Cadman
April 6, 2017
Bro comes to our house!
April 6, 2017
Lee Ann Napolitano
April 5, 2017
Tribute to Deb Cadman
By Lee Ann Napolitano
March 12, 2017
I am confident that Deb's spirit has been smiling this week about the many poems that have been discussed as we keep Deb and her loved ones in our hearts and minds. I can hear her voice as part of the those conversations, exploring the connections between nature, life and even death and ideas about immortality.
I chose to share the following Dickinson poem about hope because it speaks to Deb's remarkable, generous, strong spirit.
Hope is the thing with feathers (254) By Emily Dickinson
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.
When I visualize this poem, I imagine Deb's clean checkmarks next to especially important words, her underlining - focusing on central ideas - and a few brief, insightful annotations penciled into the margins - making connections between the natural elements in the poem and its strong message about hope. I can hear Deb's enthusiastic voice and laughter while discussing those connections. Deb's keen ability to develop enduring connections is a key part of her spirit.
Throughout the joyful times and the challenges along her journey, Deb kept making those hopeful connections, moving forward, teaching us about keeping our hearts and minds focused on what is most important in life. The connections we have with Deborah Ann Cadman - as our instructor, friend, colleague, neighbor, sister, mother - or wife and soulmate - are enduring, and her strong spirit is a hopeful beacon for us all.
Deb's Wedding -- August 9, 1975
Bruce Cadman
April 5, 2017
Gorgeous and Gorgeous
April 5, 2017
Maine 2010: Hanna and Deb
Homecoming Court-- Troy High School
Bruce Cadman
April 3, 2017
Bruce Cadman
April 3, 2017
Sherri, Bill, & Ben Fisher
Dear Bruce and Hanna, We are just learning of this today, so sorry to have missed the ceremony. We are deeply saddened by the passing of Deb. She was an intelligent, kind and gentle person and a friend to all. Her obituary was very touching, so expressive and captures her perfectly. Your family has experienced such hardship and tragedy in the past several years, your strength and positive outlook are truly amazing. May Deb Rest In Peace as she joins Aaron in heaven. Thinking of you and your family with tremendous sadness but also deep admiration. Love Sherri, Bill, & Ben Fisher
Bonnie Symansky posted a condolence
Saturday, March 11, 2017
I am so very sorry. Bruce and Debbie were a very special loving couple. For the Last Time Robin Fox How do you know when it's the last time? The last time to ask How are you? How was your day? The last time to say I love you. Good night...sweet dreams. You don't. And so you must reach out with love and compassion at every opportunity to show those who love you that you care you love and need to be needed .. in a world where you suddenly find yourself alone once again in an achingly painful way because someone you love has left you behind to seek your own paths and truths in an uncertain place. The only thing certain is that you're not truly alone because of those who do love you and for that be thankful and grateful and feel blessed that you were able to say Good night . I love you one last time.
Ilene Stein posted a condolence
Friday, March 10, 2017
Dearest Bruce, My heart aches for you and your family.You and Deb were a true love story...may the love she gave to you always envelop your life.Deb was so sweet and gentle. You have had many heartaches in recent years but have managed to stay positive and grateful for the blessings in your life...you are an amazing person and have always been this way....finding strength as well as laughter to guide you in life....stay strong....just as Deb would have wanted. Ilene Dembo Stein
Madeline Kennedy posted a condolence
Friday, March 10, 2017
Bruce, I am so sorry to learn of Deb's passing. Her obituary is beautiful and filled with love. Though these last years have been painful and tragic, you have never ceased to look and live on the positive side. She was blessed to have you, as you were blessed to have her. I am saddened by the overwhelming losses you have suffered. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. With love, Madeline
John Kercher posted a condolence
Friday, March 10, 2017
Bruce, Please accept our sincere condolences for the loss of Deb. All of us at Novusolutions mourn your loss. I pray God keeps His hand firmly on your lives as you and your family pass through this difficult time.
Mary Ann Serian posted a condolence
Friday, March 10, 2017
Deb was a beautiful person inside and out. I still remember her unending enthusiasm and intelligence in high school. My condolences to you Bruce. How fortunate you were to have her in your life for so many years.
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Julia M Baldwin purchased flowers
Friday, March 10, 2017
Nicolene Lombard Abbott posted a condolence
Friday, March 10, 2017
Dear Bruce, I am sad to read about Deb's passing. I am sorry to think about yet another heartbreak you must endure. And I am again so very impressed with your optimistic and loving grateful attitude you express in everything ! I must give credit to your wonderful wife, Deb, for maturing the silly young "high-spirited" very popular young classmate I met in 7-8th grades in School #18 ! I remember being amused and pleased (in the 70's) to hear about you and "Debbie Michon" -that cute blonde in the class below us at THS- being a couple ! Like my husband and me, it's fun to have been kids together too ! (As we've been since 2nd Grade - School #17....) My mom still clips articles she knows I'd be interested to read and saves them for my Trips to Troy - as I sadly remember yet another heartache I can so sadly also relate to - that you lost a dear brother, as I did 7 yrs ago - many years ago. I remember his obit as being one of the warmest I had ever read - it being in a time when they were not obviously, as now, written by a newspaper employee and not by a loved one - his was the first I'd read that contained warm personal affectionate details and complimentary facts about (was it "Doug" ? Over ten yrs ago?) his life - so nicely detailed that we had quite the interesting discussion about its content. I never knew my one year younger classmate, Debbie Michon, very well. But my brother Jimmy did and admired her. I've enjoyed recently reading on fb as different occasions were remembered what a successful much-loved and admired by family, friends as well as grateful students, woman she was. It was a pleasure to read what a success she was as A Woman ! I am sorry to have to yet again find myself in the position to console you; as I, at the same time as before, when you lost your son, very much admire your strength in the middle of your utter sadness and heartbreak. You remain yet again an example for us to remember and try to emulate as we age and find ourselves in similar sad situations. I very much doubt many of us could handle it all as calmly optimistic and philosophical as you have. God Bless you as you remember and celebrate Deb's Life - a Life So Well Lived ! Nicki Lombard Abbott
Mary Joseph posted a condolence
Friday, March 10, 2017
Bruce and Hannah, Words cannot express how truly sorry Dave, Kenny, Marty and I are to hear of Deb's passing. She was so very kind. We enjoyed our many chats at the rink! Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Andrew & Jeanne Gunther posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Jeanne and I are saddened by the news of Deb's passing Bruce. You have been through so much in the past few years and you are a tower of strength. I had the pleasure of knowing Deb when you two came to the office and her spirit shone brightly despite the cruel disease that affected her so profoundly. Please know that,tonight,our thoughts and prayers are focused on both of you. She had that special light that will always shine. God bless you.
Lou and Janet Schiavone posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Deb was a multi-talented, caring human being; a true Renaissance person. We often had conversations about every topic that could be imagined. She will be missed.
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Donna Akerley posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Thinking of you and your family at this time. Sending you love and friendship. Always, Donna Akerley Fallsburg, NY
Janice Purington posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Bruce, I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Janice
Pam Patch posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Bruce, Hanna and extended family, I am so sorry to hear of Deb's passing. I fondly remember our times in High School. I remember her as a gentle, sweet person. Your obituary for her was wonderfully written. You could see the love in your family. I always felt like we had a connection with you, Bruce, and Deb because we we were both High School Sweethearts at the same time and at the same school. Also, we have our love for coastal Maine in common. Please know that our thoughts are with you through this difficult time. Fondly, Pam Patch
Elizabeth Greendale posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Bruce, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. Peace, Liz - Holliston, MA
Terri Bunce posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Bruce, I am deeply saddened by your loss. My condolences to you and your family. Dennis Town Clerk, Terri Bunce
Shirley E. Schult posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
My prayers are with you at this difficult time. May you memories of happy times sustain you .
Jack & Barbara Devine posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Bruce and Hanna, we are so sorry to hear of your beautiful wife's and mom's passing. She truly was a beautiful person, inside and out; so gentle and kind to everyone. The tribute we just read describes an intelligent and active woman who lived a very full life with the emphasis on all the things that are truly important, and your love for her shines through in every word. We will always remember Deb with very fond and happy thoughts and we wish we could be there to support you through this difficult time. God bless you.
Marlene B. Chused posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Bruce and Family. My sincere condolences to you and your family. Marlene Chused, Sharon, Massachusetts Town Clerk
Jim and Laurie Green posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Words cannot express how sorry we are for your loss. You're in our thoughts and prayers.
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Karen Knuepfer purchased flowers
Thursday, March 9, 2017
The Knuepfer Family donated to MARJORIE DOYLE ROCKWELL CENTER INC
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Ken Kearns posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Bruce- my sincerest thoughts and prayers to you and the family-
Brenda Merritt-L'Italien posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Bruce I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this most difficult time.
Mike Kruse posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Bruce, My thoughts and prayers.
Mary Ellen Reilly-Scott posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Bruce and Hanna, Words cannot express enough, my deepest sympathy to you both. Mary Ellen
Kathy Newkirk posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Bruce, My sincere sympathy to you and your family. May you all find peace.
Dawn Smith Pliner posted a condolence
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Bruce & Hanna You are in my thoughts. Your eloquently written obituary so poignantly captured Deb's life. She will continue to live in the hearts of so many. Healing love your way, Dawn
Joe and Maureen Gavin posted a condolence
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
bruce and hanna i`ve never met deb but i could see how much in love you four had for each other just by the pictures you posted and the thimgs you wrote about deb on facebook. they were always so touching. i really don`t have the words to say how saddened we are to hear of debs passing. god bless hanna and bruce joe and maureen gavin
Kent Michels lit a candle
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Bruce - thinking of you and your family.
Willie Rackley posted a condolence
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Bruce and family, It is good to celebrate such a wonderfully blessed life. Peace be onto you as you continue to honor God's gift. Stay strong and close to your family, friends and loved ones ,my friend. Deb is in a joyous and blessed place! Peace and my Condolences, WmL
Sandra Pinsonault posted a condolence
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Bruce and family- my deepest sympathies for the passing of your beloved Deb. Hold those memories close to your heart and she will always be with you! Big hugs Bruce!
Jeffrey Singer posted a condolence
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Dear Bruce and family, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences at this most difficult time. My experience of Deb was that she was an angel in life; Ever smiling, always having a gentle word, and caring deeply for those near to her. Her loss will reverberate across an extremely wide circle.
Bruce Cadman
April 3, 2017
New Lives: Deb Cadman
Hanna is born
The morning of October 15, 1992 was full of light and color. The maple trees reflected the vivid orange of a ripe cantaloupe cut open. The sky arched into an intense bluealmost as if it were midsummer. Even the temperature was warm.
I anticipated my lecture at Skidmore College that morning with joy. The audience of adults in the Liberal Arts Program could not have been more responsive. My nervousness before the first lecture of the week gave way to an enthusiastic talk about the poetry of Emily Dickinson that could be understood more fully from a knowledge of her skill in gardening. Although less successful than the first, my second lecture still went well. This
last one might be the best of the week: Images of Eden: Emily Dickinson as Poet and Gardner.
I arrived at Palamountain Hall early, greeted some of the adults assembling outside Gannet Auditorium, and walked upstairs to my office. I had plenty of time to check my mail and talk briefly with Sue Stein before I stationed myself at the door of the auditorium with my xeroxed copies of the poems I would discuss.
I was not surprised to see Sue on the phone, but I never received such a greeting. Her eyes opened wide when she saw me. She waved her arms to signal me to stay and to go at the same time. Then she hung up the phone, took a pink slip of paper from my desk, and grabbed my arm very firmly. She looked very serious as she ushered me out the door and back toward my office. In fact, she looked at me as if my life had just changed. Dawn called, she said. You'd better call her back right away. I have time to do that, I thought, but maybe I should wait until my lecture is over. What did Dawn say? I asked. Just that her call was urgent.
By the time we reached my office I felt strange, not frightened exactly but full of a sense of a tremendous moment in my life. Sue asked me if I wanted her to stay with me while I made the call. Of course I wanted her to be there to share the news that seemed more and more urgent to me.
Dawn answered the phone at Friends in Adoption. Hi, Dawn, I said trying to sound as casual as I could. Hello, Deborah, she responded. A healthy baby girl was just born at a hospital near Rochester, New York. Her birthmother picked you and Bruce to be her parents. I started taking notes, sure that I would remember no more than those words. Dawn told me as much as she knew about baby and birthmother. Then she asked if Bruce and I wanted to go to the hospital today and bring home our daughter.
I knew what Bruce would say, but, I just could not answer for him. Bruce is in Bangor, Maine at a convention. I can't imagine that he would say no, but I can't reach him easily. Dawn had already left messages for him at his office, at the convention center, and at home. I told Dawn we did want to go to our daughter, but that I had to speak with Bruce first.
Since Sue had handed me the paper and the pen (and had heard my words to Dawn) , she knew that I had just become a mother. We held each other for a few seconds. I have to give a lecture, I said. Can you do it? she asked. Yes, I think I can. We arranged to meet after Sue's lunch hour which she planned to take to drive home, find the absolute essentials for travelling several hours with a newborn daughter, and return to Skidmore. I took copies of my Dickinson's poems and walked downstairs.
Urgent messages awaited me at Gannett too. Everyone in Special Programs wanted to know if everything was all right. Oh, yes, I said. My adopted daughter was born in a hospital outside of Rochester. I just became a mother.
My energy first went into that lecture. Then it went into my drive to the hospital. I knew I would never be the same woman again. I would be different, larger, a self I would become.
Lesley Cadman
April 3, 2017
3-12-17 For Debbie From Lesley
I've known Debbie since we were both young teenagers- and yet I didn't know her as well as you would think. My family lived elsewhere and we saw each other only a few times a year, on special occasions. But more than that, Deb was quiet, modest, happy to share the light with others especially her buoyant husband and her adored children.
She and Bruce were married long before I'd ever considered such an immensely important act and led the way ever since-
Showing what a true, loving partnership is
and how it grows over decades,
What a warm, welcoming home is,
What family means,
How essential laughter is,
And how challenges make love stronger.
She was a teacher at her core and Bruce has confessed that he was her first student. She taught him (or tried to) how to teach and how to write (he didn't need help with talking!). She was very successful witness his beautiful written and spoken tributes to her and to Aaron and to our brother and parents before. I could hear her voice in the stories he's been sharing throughout the last few agonizing years strong, colorful, passionate, human.
As you all know, literature was her great joy - and it was a bond between us. We shared books and authors especially women writers - and our frustration that other members of our families weren't as committed to the written word as we
Deb went the distance, though: her doctorate, her constant striving for excellence and for continuous learning. She took on the hard stuff: EMILY DICKINSON? I was in awe.
I mean who else would name their dog SAPPHO???
My poet hero at one time was William Butler Yeats. Though he was not as fortunate in love as Deb and Bruce, he had a way of describing what he longed for and what she and Bruce had:
When You Are Old"
WHEN you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
W.B. Yeats
Novelist Anne Tyler said I read so I can live more than one life in more than one place. Bruce, Hanna, Friends: I'm sure she is somewhere lovely.
Tom Michon
April 3, 2017
Deb's Eulogy
.My sister..was AWESOME!!!!
I'm not sure I needed to tell any of you that, but if there are some here who did not know her well.or maybe even did not know her at all.you really missed someone special.because she..was AWESOME!!!!
She had a presence about her that was both unique and unforgettable..even if you only spoke to heror met her once.
I was talking on the phone to my college roommate (Cliff) the day before Deb passed away. Cliff grew up in a very conservative religious family so early on in college he was basically naïve when it came to certain things. Frank discussions with your parents on sensitive subjects just was not done in his house. He recalled how in one of his first encounters with Deb, he witnessed her and my mom engaged in a lively conversation on the controversial topic of birth control. It was not an argument, but a zealous exchange of viewpoints with both sides also listening and trying to understand each other's views. Cliff was so impressed with this beautiful, articulate young woman speaking with passion and conviction.in such an open and honest manner with her mother. that it became a memory which has stayed with him now for over 40 years. That was typical Deb maybe a bit audacious at timesbut definitely unforgettable.
Yes Debbie was beautiful, highly intelligent and articulate.she was direct, bold and outspoken she was compassionate, patient and kind.she was humble, giving and comicaland much, much more. She was a devoted wife and loving mother. She was an ardent educator who constantly strived for excellence in her students at both the high school and college level where her legacy is sure to live on in the lives of these former students.
First Corinthians 13 is a scripture chapter normally associated with marriage ceremonies. I can't recall a time I witnessed it being quoted at a funeral service, but going against conventional thinking. occasionally. is not something foreign to me, and likely something I learned from Deb. As you may know, this is a Chapter on the excellence of love, and I believe, especially, verses 4 through 7 fit Debbie so wellLove is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects.. always trusts..always hopes..and always perseveres. I believe you could replace the word love with the name of Debbie in that passage and it would describe her perfectly. The Bible's description of love was also the way Deb loved others. The last verse in particular to mereflects the approach Deb took in loving others always protecting .always trusting.always hoping.always persevering.
Society has taught me that brothers are supposed to take care of.and protect.their sisters. But in my case, very often, the roles were reversed. Debbie took care ofand protected me. She was a problem solver . and was always there to help me effectively break down one of my problems into simpler terms and she would always come up with a solution. And here I thought I was pretty logical as an engineer, but it was Debbie who was truly the logical one.
There are many, many stories I could tell you about my relationship with Deb over the years, but today I want to tell just one. I believe that most people would agree that the last months, weeks or days of a loved one dying from a cruel and unforgiving disease that has no cure are the most difficult for the one afflicted and for family and close friends. And while in part it was so very painful for me to witness, it was a time that I will hold in my heart and cherish for the rest of my days. I haven't spent that quantity of time with her during the five months she was at the Eddy Village Green facility since we were kids growing up together on the 2nd Floor of 5 Frear Avenue. Until she began her more severe decline shortly before she passed, she always greeted my visits with a huge smile and her signature..Hey!! It was a close, intimate period with her where I could just hold her hand, kiss her face, look into her eyes and tell her how much I loved her. Occasionally, she would reach out with her hand and stroke my face. Over the last couple of months, she didn't say a lot that was intelligible to me, except for the occasional curse word when I did something stupid with her wheelchair or accidentally stabbed her cheek with a fork. My reply to her cursing would be .C'mon Deb, you have PhD in English. You can come up with a more sophisticated word than that!! It was an enjoyable and fulfilling time for me.. as we reconnected with each other on a whole different level and much of that time with little or no verbal communication. Once again, she was taking care ofand protecting me. She took what most people would consider a sad, hopeless situation and turned it into what would be the most memorable time I ever spent with her.
As many of you already know..or know now, Deb's favorite poet was Emily Dickenson and many considered Deb to be an authority on her, so I would be remiss if I closed without an Emily Dickenson quote:
Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality! You will never die in my heart, my dear, beautiful sisterbecause.YOU WERE AWESOM
Jan Tunison
April 2, 2017
Tribute to Deb Cadman
By Jan Tunison
March 8, 2017
Describing a unique, incredible human spirit in words challenges writers, even those who are adept at their craft. Add to that challenge the honor of writing and speaking about a master wordsmith and literary aficionado and the challenge becomes a formidable project, similar to an artist painting a picture of another renowned artist. Many of Deb's qualities are beyond words. Truly, these words are gifts from my heart to Deb and her family.
Throughout Deb's life and journey, I met many of the important people in her life who are here today to honor and celebrate her life and legacy. A natural question that often arose when meeting an acquaintance was How do you know Deb? Perhaps, you are a beloved member of Deb's family, a caring neighbor, a collegial work friend, a trusted caregiver, a mentor who was fortunate to teach Deb as a student, a former student who was fortunate to call Deb Dr. Cadman, a cherished childhood friend from days gone by, or a recent acquaintance who met Deb toward the end of her journey. I fall into the category of work friend meaning that Deb and I met as colleagues when she taught English at Scotia-Glenville High School. We quickly became fast friends as we discovered that we were also kindred spirits who love to play with words, read, discuss, and contemplate. We also like to walk and talk about all things family as the Cadman and Tunison families formed through a similar process. Using a literary device to describe our friendship, we were like two peas in a pod or like two birds of a feather that stuck together.
Deb and I did not know each other when I arrived at the high school as a new member of the staff. Prior to the start of the school year, I met Deb and another of our esteemed colleagues, John, in the summer to begin planning curriculum projects. What I know about Deb now that I did not know then was that Deb plausibly volunteered to meet with me ~ the new staff member, the new librarian, the new kid on the block. You see, Deb was a behind the scenes worker who always volunteered for new projects at school and in this case, I was the new project. Now I hope that you see where this is going. When one becomes friends with a person who always volunteers, one naturally becomes part of the volunteer effort. The I becomes a WE. Throughout her tenure at the high school, the collective WE volunteered for many tasks together. Deb masterfully integrated me into school life and school culture through volunteering. She welcomed me with open arms and checked in with me every morning to offer a smile, a good morning, and check on the schedule in the library. This morning ritual was part of her ritual, my ritual, and our treasured ritual for all of the years that we worked together.
Deb's students were at the heart of her chosen profession. Their young minds covered the wide spectrum of cognitive abilities. On one end of the spectrum were the serious, college bound, academically oriented students who recognized and understood the depth of Deb's keen intelligence and her expertise of Shakespeare, Emily Dickinson, and other classic authors. I marveled at the way Deb probed students' thinking with thoughtful compelling questions as she guided them through a deep dive in literature or worked with them on debate strategies in developing a highly effective argument. Deb also taught students who needed serious guidance in finding just the right book at just the right time to successfully participate in English class. For these students, Deb's library of choices expanded to include many contemporary young adult authors who judiciously write books to tempt the most reluctant readers. From classics to contemporary, Deb was equally concerned about providing quality books for all of her students. Beyond research, writing, and reading, Deb focused on students and their interests in and out of school. One might overhear Deb talking to her students on a casual basis as they admired the gorgeous earrings custom created by her daughter, Hanna. The conversations often focused on weekend plans - who was doing what and with whom. Deb shared family hockey weekend stories with Aaron, Hanna, and Bruce, or discussed movies and plays that she, Bruce, and friends attended. She focused on connecting with her students through conversation and family was at the heart of those conversations.
Deb freely shared her experiences in higher education with her students and colleagues. She introduced her colleagues to quality academic writing resources for our high school program and organized a peer tutoring program for our high school students to support them with writing challenges. Whether students struggled with English essays or science lab reports, the tutors reached out to edit and support their peers. Her outreach also extended to colleagues. Within the English Department and outside of the department, many colleagues sought Deb's wise counsel and expertise. Stephani, another one of our esteemed art colleagues who worked closely with Deb on integrating art and English, enrolled in graduate coursework. Deb, Stephani, and I often met in the art room or the hallways for discussions regarding linguistics, art, research, and culture ~ an interesting blend of topics that we contemplated at a deep level with each of us bringing a unique perspective to the conversation. All three of us cherished these reflective opportunities.
Lest I lead you to believe that Deb was all work and no play, think again! Fun and creativity provided the perfect combination when 9th grade students needed to review Shakespeare in preparation for a unit exam. Deb and I transformed the library floor into a chessboard grid and staff members played human chess with the 9th grade students as chess pieces. A Shakespearean question activated the human chess pieces and a correct response allowed the human pieces to move from square to square. Through this timeless game, students accomplished their Shakespeare review and a good time was had by all complete with PG 13 food and drink from the Bard's time period. Speaking of Shakespeare, summer outings with the English Department members mixed a wonderful blend of fine Shakespeare and Company shows in the Berkshires with a fine blend of food, drink, and robust company. More treasured memories.
Back to my dilemma of honoring Deb with the spoken and written word. I'll take a cue from our Shaker community and say that simple is better. Quite simply to know Deb is to love her. Deb's friendship, collegiality, passion for education, and humor remain with me and close to my heart. They are gifts beyond measure from one kindred spirit to another.
In closing, hear these words written by Emily Dickinson from her poem entitled, To See Her Is a Picture.
To See Her Is a Picture
By Emily Elizabeth Dickinson
To see her is a Picture
To hear her is a Tune
To know her an Intemperance
As innocent as June
To know her not Affliction
To own her for a Friend
A warmth as near as if the Sun
Were shining in your Hand.
On the Ice -- Always fun
Bruce Cadman
April 2, 2017
Lake George, NY -- Vacation Time
Bruce Cadman
April 1, 2017
SGHS Birthday Gathering
Bruce Cadman
April 1, 2017
Celebrating Hanna's Graduation
Bruce Cadman
April 1, 2017
Flying Kites in Ogunquit, Maine with Aaron
Bruce Cadman
April 1, 2017
Eating Out- With Kathy (KD) Degnan
Bruce Cadman
April 1, 2017
Anna Maria Island, FL -- With Patty and Bob -- always fun
Bruce Cadman
April 1, 2017
Movies with Joanne: A Regular thing
Bruce Cadman
April 1, 2017
Troy, NY- Hanging with Bro on the Back Porch
Bruce Cadman
April 1, 2017
Boston, MA -- Working!
Bruce Cadman
April 1, 2017
Bruce Cadman
April 1, 2017
Deb and I Loved this:
"The longer I love, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church....a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes." -- Charles R. Swindoll
Bruce Cadman
April 1, 2017
Deb's Eulogy: A Gift from God: Bruce Cadman
Thank you to all so much support for so long from so many. Deb and I always said we were grateful for the gifts God gave usbut more grateful for the gifts of those we knew.
Special thanks to Joanne (Deb's best friend) and Tom--a special bond between Deb and Jo from the time they were allowed to go from Frear Avenue to Summit Avene. Through childhood (Deb at the Corina's daily), teenage years, college and throughout their adult lives Deb and Jo helped each other navigate life (and Tom and menot easy).
Throughout Deb's life and (all throughout Deb's journey with Alzheimer's) Joanne and Tom were always theremovies (Deb explaining to all of us what we just saw), plays at Cap Rep (missed the Iliad yesterday which Deb would certainly have been able to fully explain to us), concerts (James Taylor, Jackson Brown, SPAC), even the track (we all lost).
Our lives are inextricably relatedwe've shared joy and sadnesslaughter and tears. The support Tom and Joanne have provided throughout all of it helped in more ways than you can imagine. Deb and I are grateful for you being you.
Patty and Bob Talham: Unending love for us. Helped raise Hanna and Aaron. So much fun Deb and I had taking dance lessons Deb and Patty got it--- Bob and I did not. Time together in Anna Maria Island--- eating, boating, and drinkingmore than we should have.
Kathy and Joe Degnan: Support daily from two of the kindest and generous people we know. Referred to affectionately as Joe D and Kathy Dthese two friends always made sure we were doing OK. We couldn't wait to go out with KD and Joe D.
Bobby Williams: Laughter is really good medicine. Bobby provides that and more. Regular check ins. There to hug me at a moment's notice. And one whose stories make you laugh and laugh really hard even though you've heard most of them before.
Jan and Lee Ann Colleagues, friends. Teaching at Scotia Glenville was a joy for Debmade so because of her friendship with themall three, and many others there, dedicated to improving the lives of students. Even Art projects at the Nursing Home as Debbie's health declined.
The Eddy Teams: Marjorie Doyle Daybreak, Eddy Volunteers from St. Augustine's Church, and the EVG team at House 12 Hospice-- all became an integral part of our family without their guidance and support, love and compassionDeb's journey with Alzheimer's would not have been so manageable.
The Kneupfer's: Together for 24 yearsour lives, challenges and celebrations at each other's homes; Thanksgiving at our house, yearly (and often more often) in Ogunquit (walking the marginal way multiple times a day). All of us celebrating our children and cherishing our time together. Grateful our paths crossed in 1991---our lives better because of our friendship.
Shannon Raynor: Shannon made so much possible for Deb over the past few years. As Deb's ability to navigate day to day activities Shannon was Deb's companion, her eyes, her earsshe kept Debbie safe-- held her hand, hugged her, and kept her busy too drinking coffee and eating chocolate at Starbucks, going to the Daily Grind, strolling the aisles in Target, and more. Deb loved Shannon. Shannon loved Deb. I am forever grateful for Shannon's presence in our lives and for her entire family tooTim (call Tim Daddon't try fixing it yourself), Nevin and Alecwhose unselfish love for us will never be forgotten.
Our family-- TJ and Mary Sue, Les, Jim, Jessie and Sam, Dana, Glenn, Max and Lucy, Marcia and George (brought Debbie into this world and raised her lovingly), Joyce and Bailey (Bruce who?), Doug (who told me initially about this awesome looking girlDebbie Michon), Cara, Jo Ellen, Dana, Emily, Casey and Gage.
I love you all and thank you for loving Deb and me throughout not just her journey with Alzheimer's but for our lifetimes together
And our beautiful Hanna:
Your birth made a dream come true for Deb and for me finally the opportunity to be a mother and a father. Deb loved being Hanna's Mom every dayit allowed her to drive at very high speeds to get home from Skidmore to see her, sew Halloween Costumes, dress her up, go to her dance recitals, skating competitions and ensure that she was offered the best education possible.
Too it gave Deb permission to sit on the floor and bang pots and pans with her and color with her and draw pictures to put in her lunch box (bag) which she made for Hanna to take to school every day. She even took piano lessons with Sister Curtin at Doane Stewart so she could help Hanna with her lessons-- even played together at a recitalDeb was petrified.
And it even allowed her to iron her clothessomething she said she'd never do since her mother ironed everything from underwear to sheets.
Aaron: Now with Debhis Mom. His smile forever etched in our minds. His love for his Mom was profound. She enjoyed watching him play hockey and take pride in his work on his truck, his quad and all our equipment at home. He kept everything running. Proud Deb was of his commitment to help his friends, his commitment to his drug recovery.
Aaron's death last June and Deb's death earlier this week leaves a big hole in Hanna's life and in mine too but the memories we have of our time together will never be forgotten.
Deb:
Others came first in Deb's life. She made everyone feel better valued, appreciated. Here is what some have shared with me (not used with their permission and some paraphrased sorry Deb):
The world has lost a light a special light that will always shine
Multi-talented, caring human, a true Renaissance person.
I shall miss her quick wit, brilliant literary insights and wonderful sense of humor.
Deb is known as an innovator and an intellectual among her peers. As a scholar Deb is known for her work about Emily Dickinson and Toni Morrisonwhich has been called theoretically sophisticatedwhich is also a perfect description as a person and a teacher. She has set the standard for cross curricular interaction especially in using literature.
May you find joy in knowing so many were helped because of you.
In the years to come I will have the benefit of her handwritten notes in some of our favorite novels, and in that way she will keep teaching the next generation.
For years she taught in the room next to me and was ever the supportive colleague, offering ideas as easy as leaves fall from the maples in October. For a year we co-taught a ninth grade English class, and to put it simply, two people should not be paid for having that much fun. She was always compassionate and sought to help her students in the most meaningful of ways.
I can still see Deb standing at her desk in front of the windows in the English Department Office at Scotia-Glenville High School with the sun radiating around and highlighting her, and I hear her laugh echo through my mind. It makes me smile. Indeed,
She truly was a beautiful person, inside and out; so gentle and kind to everyone--an intelligent and active woman who lived a very full life with the emphasis on all the things that are truly important,
I thought of Deb when I saw this from the Alzheimer's Association that was posted today - on International Women's Day - the same day as Deb's death. This day that celebrates achievements of women. It is obvious how much she achieved during her life and how she impacted the lives of everyone she met.
And finally:
I must give credit to your wonderful wife, Deb, for maturing the silly young "high-spirited" very popular young classmate I met in 7-8th grades in School #18 ! I remember being amused and pleased (in the 70's) to hear about you and "Debbie Michon" -that cute blonde in the class below us at THS- being a couple.
So how did this all get started:
At a party on the Oxford Road, the street I grew up on, there was a party for the School 18 7th graders. Since Doug told me about Debbie I thought I would see if she'd like to spend some time with me in the woodsknowing I was so cool --a freshman at Troy High. Wow. I asked Peter Marx to go and find her and ask her what she thought.
Didn't take too long for the response--- No-- a refrain I heard many times after that making her the best Sales Training Mentor I could havetelling me no often but saying ask again later!
And I did -- two years later when I was a junior and Deb was a freshman we had our first dateJanuary 5, 1970 47 years ago.
Proposal: Five years later
We were living in a shabby fourth floor apartment across from a Used Car lot and the Bowling Alley. Deb asked me to marry her and of course I said yes immediately. To let everyone know we went to the bowling alley to call and tell our parents our plans. We told them we wanted to get married in six weeks and we didright in Frear Park. As you can imagineeveryone was making the assumption that Deb was pregnant. Wrongbeautiful Hanna born 17 years later
Looking Back:
Deb and I spent a lot of time over the pasts few years sharing stories and memories of our lives togethereven when she lost the ability to follow all of it. Some of the things we did were not to smart:
Sun Burn:
Burning ourselves so badly in Ogunquit, Maine (a place we return to yearly) when were teenagers and there without permission from our parents. We fell asleep on the beach and when we awoke we were scorched. We had to get a hotel room and for the next 24 hours we cared for one another praying we did not permanently damage our bodies. It all worked outthe parentsnot that happy with us! Not smart on our part.
Cape CodHarwichport:
After a few drinks singing the Canadian National Anthem and jumping in the ocean in the dark. Not smart. Really not smart.
Pizza:
One of our staplesbut not good to try and laugh and eat at the same time. Deb almost choked to death at Tess Albers --laughing so hard at the stories we were telling. Not smart.
We talked about her jobs:
Babysitting, Carol's Hamburgers, TJ's Big Boy Restaurant in Syracuse, mowing lawns at Duke (something she decided was not her job any longer after we had our own house),
We talked about hockey:
My biggest fan: Hockeyalways at the gameseven arranging buses to bring fans to the games. RPI games religiously. Aaron's games all over the northeast and the accompanying social activities.
We talked about where she went to school and where she taught:
University of Rochester, Duke, Syracuse, U Mass, Skidmore, St. Rose, Scotia Glenville.
We talked about where we lived:
Syracuse, Durham, North Carolina, Pennellville, Altamont, Troy, Amherst Mass,
We talked about where we traveled:
So many places. Cross County in our VW Camper Van: An eight week journey that took us east to west and back againpaid with the money Deb earned waitressing at TJ's Big Boy Restaurant.
Up and down the eastern seaboard, Atlantic City with the Patregnani's (so happy when she won money playing the Wheel), Marco Island, Anna Maria Island with the Talham's, Ogunquit (often as possible) and many times with our friends Karen, Steve, Drew and Catherine Knuepfer, Newport Beach, California for our 40th Wedding Anniversary, Boston, New York
Europe too. London, Paris, Italy. Deb mapping out each journey. Making sure each of us especially the kidswould be able to see what they wanted to see. Telling us the significant facts about each place we visited.
Deb's life was centered on family and friends and her career. She was an avid reader and had a passion for the arts (concerts, movies, theater, museums and dance). She was a gardener, a musician (flute). She enjoyed Aerobics (an instructor for a while), Zumba, and Walking (we did three +- miles most days for many years)
Alzheimer's
When told that Deb had early onset of dementia (after weeks of other tests) --Deb shed a tear for a moment and said let's move on let's enjoy ourselves. Let's not make it who we are.
So we carried on:
We ate out (a lot): Knotty Pine, Recovery Room (became for Deb like Cheerswhere everybody knew her name and treated her with the greatest of respect even as she lost her ability to feed herself. Forever grateful to them.
We met great people at the Eddy facilitiesthey became members of our family. We learned that chocolate was good for Debthat it reduced agitation. We looked for the best place to get shakestried them in at least 30 places and had fun doing itsometimes struggling to get anything out of the cup because it was so thick. And never felt guilty about eating any of it. Think I should stop now though!
We had fun-- Listening to music with Alexa, singing and dancing, discussing politics at meal time (spirited debate), caught on camera riding around the wheelchair, listening to repeated refrains like I'm herethat's all that matters (actually quite true). Everyone committed, kind and compassionate
What Debbie did for me:
Lesson Plans: Did mine when I was a teacher (of sorts).
Opened me up to eating seafood: Told me it was good for our sex life (then later in life stopped eating it)
Enabled me to celebrate Christmas a very nice thing for a little Jewish Boywho was very materialistic. And have I enjoyed it ever since.
But proved to me that it wasn't what we have that was important. She lived it never wanted anything for herselfjust books; books for me, for her kids, for her students. I had to pretty much beg her to buy clothes for herself. In Deb's life everyone's needs were more important than her own.
Taught me to appreciate what is really importantfamily, friendships, education, nature, the arts, literature and one another. I did suggest to her that I thought golf and hockey were pretty important too.
Deb made me feel like the most important person in the world. She actually made me fill big (not easy to do).
So today's a good day to remember what Aaron told me often during his recovery from addiction ---there are no promises for tomorrow. We need to learn to enjoy each second, each minute, each hour, and each day. Dad I know there are no guarantees about when life will end. For Aaron and for Deb life ended too soon. But fortunate Hanna and I are to have loved and be loved by both of them.
I lived my life in the company of a beautiful woman with a brilliant mind and a beautiful heartwho loved me more than anyone else. That really is a blessing.
I'm grateful that I was lying by her side, looking into her wide open eyes as she took her last breath on this earth at 1:06 on March 8, 2017.
Family-- blessed with one another.
Bruce, Hanna, Aaron Cadman
March 23, 2017
Deb's Birthday: 2016: A Gift from God:
We turn not older with years but newer everyday (Emily Dickinson).
My best friend and soulmate since 1970. My wife since 1975. The devoted mother of our children Hanna and Aaron. My teacher. I celebrate with Deb her 62nd birthday today.
So fortunate I am to share life with Deb whose beauty comes from within her heart and is reflected in the way she livestaking care of others firstasking for nothing for herself. Unselfish. Compassion for those less fortunate. Listens intentlydoes not judge. Dedicated to those she lovesfamily and friends and to thousands of students who benefitted from her commitment to education over so many years. Deb makes everyone feel better valued.
A dedicated student herself a Master's degreea Ph.D. (Dr. Cadman not a title shared often with others). Attended the University of Rochester, Duke University, Syracuse University (unselfishly moving from Durham, NC to Syracuse so I could teach school at West Genesee High School), and the University at MassachusettsAmherst. Emily Dickinson scholar. A faculty member at U Mass in Amherst, at St. Rose, at Skidmore College, at Scotia Glenville High School.
Lover of the arts. Concerts, movies, theater, museums and dance. Published author, poet, and an avid reader (many read more than once). All genres. Gardener. Compassion for those less fortunate. Volunteer. Shares knowledge (and in a way I could comprehend). Plays the flute. All NYS Band. Piano (with Hanna). Acting --in dramatic plays in High School and in College. Enthusiastic and energeticAerobics, Zumba, Walking (three miles most days --in all kinds of weather). Hockey (cheering for me, for Aaron, for RPI).
Living with Alzheimer's. Never asked why. Carry on. Smiles. Warm hands. Memories of us, of Hanna, of Aaron, of best friends, of brother, of family. Appreciation for all who visit, who hold her hand, who care for her, who pray for her. Tears of happiness, of sadness.
A beautiful mind. A beautiful woman. Forever together. I love your heart, your soul. I love your everything. You lift me up Deb. A gift from God.
Bruce Cadman
March 15, 2017
A gift from God.
Deb's passing was peaceful and meaningful. I am grateful that I was able to spend 47 years experiencing all life has to offer with my best friend and an incredibly wonderful woman.
The support of so many made the journey we were on together for the past six years more palatable and I thank you all for that.
Bruce and Hanna
March 11, 2017
Bruce and Hanna we are so very sorry to hear about your Wife and Mother our deepest sympathy, Love the Di Carlo Family.
Darlene Dziarcak
March 10, 2017
Bruce and Hanna,
I was very sorry to hear of Deb's passing. May God bless you both and know you are in our prayers, Darlene Dziarcak
Edward Rasowsky
March 10, 2017
heartfelt condolences Bruce. Will hope to see you Sunday.
Nick Leonetti
March 10, 2017
What a beautiful and kind woman, the world has lost a light. Im so sorry to hear of this. God bless you and Hanna.....
JOHN ALBARELLI SR.
March 10, 2017
BRUCE AND FAMILY- SO VERY SORRY TO HEAR OF YOUR MOST PRECIOUS LOSS.MAY GOD BLESS DEBORAH AND MAY SHE REST IN PEACE FOREVER.WITH DEEPEST SYMPATHY AND ALWAYS FRIENDS-JOHN ALBARELLI.
March 9, 2017
May the God who "binds up the brokenhearted" and "comforts all who mourn" sustain your family during this challenging time. Isaiah 61:1,2
Donna and Manny Ned
March 9, 2017
Bruce and Family:
Our hearts and prayers go out to the family at this most difficult time. May you be comforted in the days ahead with the special memories of such a wonderful woman.
Mark Miller
March 9, 2017
Bruce, I am so sorry, she was a special girl
March 9, 2017
dear Bruce,
I am thinking of you and Hanna at this most difficult time. Her beauty and thoughtfulness will last forever. Bruce, you are a wonderful caretaker. With love. I am Joanie
March 9, 2017
Bruce and Hanna PEACE and strength to you from all of the STEVENS-Den Jan Elin & Ann
Kimberlee Edwards
March 9, 2017
What a kind and gentle soul...forever in our hearts
Ann & Lilian
March 9, 2017
Our heartfelt sympathy goes out to Bruce and family. "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,love leaves a memory no one can steal". May God bless Deborah,and the Cadman family.
Gail Bibb Vogel
March 9, 2017
Bruce and Hanna
My thoughts and prayers go out to you both with the passing of Deb. I am so sorry for your loss
Ann & Lilian
March 9, 2017
Bruce and family.May we express our deepest sympathy."Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,love leaves a memory no one can steal".May God bless Deborah.
Amanda Faulkner
March 9, 2017
I can still see Deb standing at her desk in front of the windows in the English Department Office at Scotia-Glenville High School with the sun radiating around and highlighting her, and I hear her laugh echo through my mind. It makes me smile. Indeed, I remember Deb fondly. Bruce, Hanna, and family, you are deeply in my thoughts and prayers. You have been through so much. May you be comforted by one another's presence and by the loving memories that you have. May you have strength for each passing day. May you feel the love and support from all of us.
Rebecca Ayers
March 9, 2017
I worked with Deb through the English Department at Scotia-Glenville. I am saddened to hear of her passing. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
John Connolly
March 9, 2017
Dear Bruce and Hanna,
It is with a mixture of both sadness and comfort that I note the passing of your beloved wife and mother. It comforts me to know that she and Aaron can be at peace together. I shall miss her quick wit, brilliant literary insights and wonderful sense of humor. For years she taught in the room next to me and was ever the supportive colleague, offering ideas as easy as leaves fall from the maples in October. For a year we co-taught a ninth grade English class, and to put it simply, two people should not be paid for having that much fun. She was always compassionate and sought to help her students in the most meaningful of ways.
I will miss our walks to the river and back, walks filled with wonder and awe because the world is filled with such great joy and deep pain, and yet it is complete. In the years to come I will have the benefit of her handwritten notes in some of our favorite novels, and in that way she will keep teaching the next generation.
Bruce and Hanna, may grace fill your hearts. Michelle and I offer our deepest sympathy.
Dawn DeMars
March 9, 2017
Bruce and Hanna, Our deepest sympathies to you and your family. Please know you are all in our thoughts and prayers.
Marty and Dawn Symansky
March 9, 2017
We are so sorry for your loss. Deborah touched so many others in this life, and they are all the better for it. May you find joy in knowing so many were helped because of her. (prov.22:1)
Chris Ryan
March 9, 2017
Bruce and family we are so sorry to hear of Debs passing. You and your family are in our thoughts. May she rest in peace. Chris and Brenda Ryan
Carrie "Ciraulo" Lewis
March 9, 2017
I am so very sorry. You are all in my prayers. May God comfort you now & always.
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