Donald S. Coburn

Donald S. Coburn, 1939 - 2024

In his own words, from Don's personal history written for his family..."I stirred things up a bit and I think I did some good while making my fair share of mistakes. Although I think most of my battles were good ones, you never really know why you do things. And that's so even when you can give reasons for what you've done. But at least I tried to live with some success by this statement of Henry David Thoreau: Go confidently in the direction of your dreams."

Donald Stephen Coburn lived a most remarkable life from April 18, 1939 to August 7, 2024. Inspired by his motto "Carpe Diem", Don seized each day in a life filled with hard work, love of the law, devotion to family and his dogs, and great pleasure in exploring nature, learning, and the arts.

Don and his older brother Paul were raised in New York City by Doris Kramer Coburn and H. Jules Coburn. He attended the Little Red School House and Elisabeth Irwin High School in Manhattan, followed by Cornell University, class of '61, where he majored in English, basketball and poker, and acted in many plays. Late in his senior year Don directed an award-winning production in which he cast a sophomore coed, Ellen Dee Jacobs. They fell in love before graduation and were married the following year in September, 1962, at her home in Livingston, New Jersey.

Don and Ellen began married life in Lawton, Oklahoma while he completed a commission in the US Army. Then in 1963, they piled their black Renault high with their belongings and drove to Philadelphia: destination the University of Pennsylvania Law School. Their first son Jeffrey Bruce was born there in 1966, a few days before his dad became a cum laude graduate. Relocating to Livingston, Don began practicing law at a firm founded by his father-in-law and mentor, Nathan L. Jacobs. Don and Ellen's second son James Benjamin was born in 1969.

Don often remarked that his years growing up in Manhattan, attending a very small progressive school, and spending summers in upstate New York with his grandparents were his most formative experiences; he was truly as comfortable facing mobsters in the courtroom as felling trees in his backyard. One fateful weekend in 1976 he convinced Ellen that purchasing an 18th century farmhouse near the Appalachian Trail in Monterey, Massachusetts would enrich their lives immeasurably. As usual, he was right. That vacation home just down the road from his lifelong friend Stefan Grotz was an inspired choice. He and Stefan reconnected, the families became close, and Don and Stef skied together at Butternut Mountain as often as possible. Over time, the Coburns renovated their Monterey home, making it a beautiful and welcoming retreat for family, friends and grandchildren for nearly fifty years. It was a haven for their dogs, too. Don, a true dog lover, shared many wonderful hours walking his dogs and napping with them on the couch. Muffin and Frosty early on, Cruiser, Abel, Demi, and Annie for many years, and for a short time this summer, Jeff's wonderful puppy Artemis all knew his devotion.

Don ran (mostly) successfully for public office, serving as a member of the Town Council and Mayor of Livingston and Delegate to the 1976 National Democratic Party Convention. He often shared incredible stories of his career, and his proudest moment was leading a successful negotiation as Essex County Prosecutor to end a prisoner uprising and hostage situation at the County Jail in Newark in 1980. But his first love was the law, and when he was appointed to the New Jersey bench in 1981, he knew he had found his calling. His noteworthy legal career spanned more than 50 years and included roles as county prosecutor, superior court judge, and appellate division judge. He was known as an extremely intelligent and demanding jurist who held high standards for himself, his staff, and the lawyers who appeared in his court. Although criticized at times for his tough courtroom demeanor, Don was universally admired for his pursuit of honesty, decency and fairness in the application of the law. His intricate legal knowledge led to groundbreaking opinions that were upheld by the New Jersey Supreme Court.

Don tried retirement but so missed judging that he returned soon after as a recall judge. One hiatus occurred so that he could volunteer for the Obama campaign, but after the election he was back at it again. Finally retired for good, Don and Ellen moved full time to their Monterey home in 2016. Don was elected to the select board, where he worked tirelessly to guide the Town during the early days of Covid, help Monterey finalize widespread broadband internet access, and champion the protection and recognition of town employees. He was the driving force in getting Monterey town employees their largest raise ever.

Don loved how good he looked in his cowboy hats and greatly appreciated the compliments he received from passers-by. He loved Lake Garfield, spending many hours on the beach playing bridge with friends, swimming and sailing with his sons, reading and sharing opinions about the news, especially politics, and what he felt was the most critical issue of our time, saving the planet. He did the New York Times crossword puzzle each day in felt pen, frequently taking some license with accuracy or spelling, and grading himself A++ when he was successful. Like his father before him, Don never refused a chocolate dessert or a slice of cherry pie. He was an avid reader and an intense lover of art, music, and theater. He was known to greatly enjoy evenings at Tanglewood, sometimes for extended periods with his eyes closed, making periodic rumbles from his nose. When his grandsons Beckett Jules and Myles Orion were born, his demeanor melted into mush, and he could be heard singing "The Fox Went Out on a Chilly Night" to the babies as they pulled on his formidable mustache.

Don was predeceased by his parents and his brother Paul. He will be deeply missed by Ellen, Jeff, Jim and his wife Katy, and their sons Beckett and Myles, along with extended family and many friends who will always remember his humor and wisdom and his great heart. Carpe Diem.