Elizabeth Ruth Midlarsky

Elizabeth Ruth Midlarsky (Steckel), of East Brunswick, NJ, passed away on January 4, 2023 at 81. She was surrounded by her loved ones.

She is survived by her husband, Manus, her two daughters, Susan and Miriam (Ted Lichtenfeld), her son, Michael, and her grandchildren, Avital, Aryeh and Shulamit.

Elizabeth was born in Brooklyn, New York, to parents Allan (Abraham) and Frances Steckel. She excelled in school and graduated high school at 15 years old, then modeled, typed, and did stand-up comedy to earn the funds to attend Brooklyn College. As an undergraduate, she was invited to join Phi Beta Kappa. She met Manus at age 19, and they were married when she was 20. They attended graduate school at Northwestern University together, and then moved to Boulder, Colorado, where their two daughters were born. She earned her PhD in 1968, a year after her first daughter was born.

Elizabeth was a university professor, clinical psychologist, and empirical researcher. Her lifelong interest in rescuers in the Holocaust led her to blaze new paths both in altruism and gerontology (the study of aging). In Denver, she involved her graduate students and sometimes her daughters in her experiments in bystander mentality, studying the people who will step forward to help others with no reward.

After making a name for herself in Colorado and Michigan, she joined her husband in the New York metro area to be a Professor of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, where she founded a new and successful master's degree program. Her legacy is beloved by the many students who passed through her classes until her retirement at the end of 2019. She also published many articles in peer-reviewed journals and a book titled Altruism in Later Life (1994).

She loved Israel and Judaism, and she was exceedingly proud that not only did her daughter Miriam become a rabbi, but Miriam married another rabbi. Her eldest grandchild, Avital, is now following in those footsteps.

In 2015, after decades with an autoimmune disorder, she finally qualified for a liver transplant. As a successful recipient who lived an additional seven and a half years after the transplant, she was a vocal advocate for organ donation. Her family is especially grateful to have had this additional time with her.

In addition to family and career, Elizabeth loved music and needlepoint. She was a pianist and singer when she was younger. Her passion for music led to her children and grandchildren learning to play instruments, with her son Michael pursuing a career as a cellist. All three of her children have also pursued teaching in various forms, another legacy of hers.

Elizabeth was dynamic, theatrical, humorous, and strong. Her tenacity led to a longer lifetime than anyone expected. Her family and friends are very grateful for the time they had with her.

In lieu of flowers, please donate to Hadassah or the Cleveland Clinic.