Elliot Friedman

Elliot Friedman Celebration of Life

Elliot Mark Friedman was born in Brooklyn, NY to Perry and Fan Friedman. He passed away on February 14th, 2025, after a life very well-lived, ultimately, from heartbreak, following the loss of his life partner and husband, Harney S. "Beau" Bogan in 2018.

Elliot was a caring big brother to Howard (died 1996) and an active, curious kid. Both boys and their mother loved the outdoors and camping which inspired their involvement in the Boy Scouts where Elliot achieved the rank of Eagle Scout. After graduating from Erasmus High School, Elliot went on to receive a bachelor's degree from NY Polytechnical Institute in Electrical Engineering. Following graduation, Elliot moved to Boston to work as an engineer for Raytheon and later had the opportunity to relocate to Washington DC to be employed by a Federal contractor.

While in Boston, Elliot began to "dabble" in real estate and continued this avocation when he got to Washington DC. After purchasing a few investment properties, Elliot came to the attention of the owner of the real estate firm where he was doing business, Beau Bogan of Beau Bogan Real Estate on Capitol Hill. At an inspection of a third potential property acquisition, Elliot asked if the chimney was clean, and Beau, embodying his trademark Southern gentlemanly style and charm, and his all-white linen suit, stuck his arm up into the flue and re-emerged spotless. That confidence cemented Elliot's feelings for Beau and they soon became inseparable in business, in life and in love. Together, Elliot and Beau built a highly successful, multi-faceted real estate business including the revitalization of Capitol Hill, as well as many commercial properties in and around DC, and assisted many newly elected and appointed Federal representatives from both sides of the aisle in finding their DC residences. One of Elliot's favorite properties was the car wash that they built in the early 1980's which included an apartment upstairs in which they lived (with their own koi pond!!). Forever a child of depression-era parents, Elliot loved the constant sound of machines and cars, which he would joke sounded like a "cha-ching" in his bank account. Elliot and Beau would often finish their evenings playing the never-ending game of gin rummy - keeping count of their points for 47 years!

To Elliot, Beau was home; it didn't matter geographically where they were so long as they had each other. How fitting that they were reunited on Valentine's Day.



In addition to work, Elliot and Beau loved culture - classical music, theater, opera, fine cuisine, and traveling the world. They became major benefactors of Carnegie Hall, NY Metropolitan Opera, the Ziff Ballet Opera House, New World Symphony and Juilliard amongst others. Recognizing that there weren't enough opportunities for young artists to thrive and grow, the pair established a foundation, GAYLA, to support gifted classical musicians and opera singers. Upon Elliot's passing, the "HS Beau Bogan-Elliot M. Friedman Conductor's Chair of the National Youth Orchestra" will be established at Carnegie Hall.

Elliot and Beau, affectionately known together as "Elbeau," were a queer iconic power couple: trailblazers, role models, and pillars in their community of gay men, showing that, even during the AIDS crisis and other periods of strife, oppression and mourning, gay men could find love, family, and happiness. Their relationship began during a time when gay men and lesbians were told they weren't deserving of romantic love, but rather that they were sick and could go to prison for expressing their love. Their dedication to each other, finally recognized by the legalization of gay marriage in 2016, is a testament to the strength of gay love and community that has always existed both in the United States and abroad. This community will carry on Elbeau's legacy of devotion, commitment, hospitality, laughter and living life to the fullest, alongside their birth and chosen family. Elbeau's philanthropy also extended to supporting organizations like Camp Rehoboth in Delaware, the Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival, Gayfest NYC and GLAAD which celebrated and helped queer communities thrive.



Elliot and Beau held a very special place in the Friedman family - teaching their nieces and nephew, and their children, about enduring love, performing arts, philanthropy, how to cook (well Beau did that), how to clean!, the value of friendship, generosity, as well as curiosity to learn about others, to travel the world, and to pursue opportunities and take risks. Elliot taught his family the importance of respecting and appreciating all kinds of people, especially those who are of service to others - including waiters, ushers, maitre d's and especially, their own caregivers. There is a long list of people who have worked for, or assisted Elliot and Beau dotted around every city they have ever lived, who felt deep love and appreciation from and for them. For a long time to come, we imagine one will still get a better table at many fine restaurants by just mentioning their names!

Perhaps "Elbeau's" greatest contribution to our world is how they created community wherever they found themselves. With homes in NYC, Washington DC, London, Gettysburg (PA) and Palm Beach, South Beach and ultimately Fort Lauderdale, FL, Elliot and Beau developed deep and lasting friendships with people who became their chosen family. They loved throwing dinner parties, with Elliot playing the gracious, jovial host, quick to smile and embrace each guest as they walked through the door, and Beau being the exuberant bartender and chef. Cross sections of guests enjoyed the warmth, laughter and community of these soirees, including the grand dames of Palm Beach, influential government and business leaders, young aspiring musicians who had the opportunity to perform alongside seasoned talent, family members from Shreveport, LA and Brooklyn, NY, occasionally even international royalty, and always, their beloved neighbors!



"Bottom line" as Elliot would so often say, Elliot will be missed by all who had the privilege of knowing him - for his ability to tell evocative stories, to make those around him feel special, and to devour a sweet treat in record time. The best way to honor his legacy, as he often opined, is to go out and "HAVE FUN!!!!!!!"

Elliot is remembered by his devoted nieces and nephew Deborah Friedman, Donna Friedman Meir, David Friedman, Virginia Bickford, Lenore Friedman (sister-in-law), and their loving spouses and children, as well as many many dear "chosen family" friends including Bill Coombs and Oiva Lloyd, Maggie O'Connor, Liz Bergin, Richie Harris and Jack Palmquist, David Simmons, Irene Lindner and Marty Norcini, who all played a huge role in caring for Elliot and Beau in their later years, along with so many others. We also want to express our deepest gratitude to the exceptional caregivers and companions, Allen Barnewich, Chris Spina, Tom Shephard, Philippe Rene and Beatriz Molina who brought Elliot loving comfort in his final years.

May we all live as full and rich lives as they did - with so much generosity, love and laughter, both given and received. May Elliot's memory be for a blessing.

A memorial service and celebration of life will be held in April, 2025 in NYC.